You give your hand to me and then you say hello
by ceyaro
Summary: Sophie arrives at the college of arts against her will. She'll do anything to get out of there and she found the perfect way of doing just that. "My ticket out of here might just be the reason i wanna stay"
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

**Sophie **

"Okay Ms. Webster we agreed to this deal, now I want you to understand summit. I'm not judging you on your past, at this school we give everyone a clean slate when they start so." She said as she tore up my file. "There… now you're free to go Ms. Webster, here's a map of the campus." she smiled as I rolled my eyes. For fuck sakes does she really think I'm gonna buy into all of that bullshit. I walked out heading for my so-called room in this shitty harry Potter version of a college. And music? What do they think I'm gonna compose shitty classical music some imbecile thinks is appropriate. My thoughts were rambling as I finally got to my room.

"Great I'm not alone." I thought when I saw a similar single bed on the other side of the room. The wall above was covered with unicorns and rainbows. "What the fu-" I started saying as someone jumped up behind me.

"Gosh you're tall." a small black-haired girl said as I pursed my lips feeling uncomfortable at the site of the figure. She had pink legging with yellow flowery t-shirt on. This girl wasn't into fashion. She had a huge pair of black glasses and her hair tied up in two pony tails.

"Uhm yeah." I mumbled out.

"I'm Mackenzie Taylor, you can call me Mack; I'm in the debate team." she grinned as I frowned.  
>"I gathered." I told her noticing her shirt that said 'debate is my mate'. Her smile grew wider and she held out her hand. I rolled my eyes mentally as I shook her hand.<p>

"You're -?" she murmured as I sighed.  
>"Not staying long so there is no bother in introducing myself." I huffed as she frowned.<p>

"Why not? It's fun here." she said sitting on my bed.

"Fuck it. I'm Sophie and- well I'm Sophie." I said to her as she grinned.

"Goodies so we're roommates then." she said getting up clapping her hands.  
>"Uhm well." I started saying as her smile faltered making me feel bad for her. "Yeah." I smiled uncomfortably.<br>"Yay, you'll get me a lot of guys, you look smashing." she said as I raised my eyebrows feeling even more uncomfortable.

"Right." I muttered.

"I can't wait to tell the others, more surf and turf for me." she sang getting out of the room as I sighed in relief looking around finding my bags in a corner.

I started unzipping my bag finding a picture lying above. "OH right." Mack peeped her head back in as I jumped shoving the picture bag into my bag. "Don't forget to wear your uniform; they brought it this morning. It's in the closet." She said pointing to a big enough closet to hide in.

"Right." I muttered as she got back out of the room. I opened the closet and saw my uniform hanging. It wasn't that bad, it was even tasteful.

I needed a fag badly. I unzipped the part of my bag and took a pack out. Making my way downstairs I passed the common room. "There she is." The black-haired girl shouted. "Sophie!" she grinned as a small group of girls followed her. "Great fucking hell." I thought.

"Hi." I smiled fakely as Mack made her way to me.

"Hi!" she grinned as I saw her friends chuckling. "This is Norah, Louis, Daz and Jim." She said pointing the small group of people beside her.  
>"Nice to meet you, hi." echoed from their mouths.<p>

"Uhm hi." I said gripping the pack of fags in my hand. I really wanted to go for a smoke.

"So what you here for then?" one of them girls asked me.

"Music." I stated, an awkward silence crept up on us as I voiced feeling uncomfortable "Look I'd love to stay but I'm really craving for a fag." I stated as they frowned.

"You can't smoke on school property." the bloke replied.

"Right." I said as I started walking away.

I accidentally bumped into a blonde girl on my way and she turned around snapping at me. "Watch it!" she said as I raised my hands in defense showing my pack of cigarettes. I was turning away but she spoke again. "You're not planning on smoking those are you?" she asked as I shrugged. "Great another one of those that fill the spots of people that deserve being here." one of her friends muttered as she laughed shyly.  
>"Fuck sakes." I muttered turning away.<p>

I got outside and lit a fag as it started raining. "Flaming hell." I cursed as a group of girls walked past. I looked inside the window spotting a dance studio. "Great I'm at a fucking school, with on one side loners smelling of weed and on the other Barbie ballerinas." I huffed as I heard someone chuckle.

"Let's hope you don't think that little of all of us." he stated coming closer. "You got a light?" he asked me as I raised my eyebrows.

"Are you even legal?" I asked him. He looked very young, he couldn't be older than 14.

"No, I skipped a few grades." he smirked as I gave him a match. "Matches?" he questioned as I shrugged. "You don't see that anymore." He stated as I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever." I mumbled.

"Hey I'm not criticizing, its fine." he stated as I nodded. "Goose." he said holding out his hand as I raised an eyebrow. The boy had curly hair baggy pants and a hoody on.

"Did your mother grace you with that name?" I smirked making him laugh.

"No, everybody just calls me that." he chuckled as I nodded.

"Sophie." I said shaking his hand.  
>"Well welcome to the great fucking school of performing arts Sophie." He stated as I snorted loudly.<p>

"What are you here for?" I asked him.

"Dance." he answered as I raised my eyebrows.

"You do that classical shit?" I asked him as he frowned pretending to be offended.

"No, not just that, but there is value in classical dancing." he answered smirking.

"Really?" I snorted as he pushed me making me lose my balance slightly.

"It gives you balance, strength, discipline." he smirked as I chuckled. "What you in here for anyways." he asked me.

"Music." I answered sighing.

"You do that classical shit?" he said making a face as I chuckled.  
>"Touché" I stated as he smiled. A bell echoed through the main square.<p>

"Hmm dinner time, we better get inside ay." he stated as I nodded. We made our way inside as he sat at a table with the group of girls I ran into.

"Great." I huffed as he beckoned me to come and sit next to him.

"Hey guys this is Sophie." he stated as I sighed sitting down next to him. I was hating these introductions, I didn't want to be here. I just wanted to go home and be with my real family.

"You smell." the blonde said scrunching up her nose as she looked at goose.

"That's what smoke will do to ya." he stated.

"Why do you do it then?" she smirked making me smile a bit.

"Why, to make sure you don't jump me every time you see me, my lovely." he stated as they started laughing but the blonde only rolled her eyes. "This is Sian." he introduced her as I nodded. They seemed like right spoiled rich girls.  
>"Hi." she said coldly. She shuffled, obviously uncomfortable as she remembered our encounter from before.<p>

…

I woke up the next morning with Mack banging against her bed. "What are you doing?" I snapped as she smiled at me.

"Getting something from underneath my bed." she stated as I huffed dropping my head down on my pillow. I was not a morning person. "You better get ready, classes start in a half an hour." she stated as I shrugged.

"Whatever." I stated as she frowned walking over to me.

"Sophie you can't be late for your first day, you'll get so much donkey shit for it." she stated as I chuckled.  
>"Alright just leave me alone okay? I'll get up in a minute." I mumbled.<p>

I got up 15 minutes later and rushed into my uniform. I quickly made my way downstairs to the secretary's office. "Hi I'm looking for auditorium 2B." I asked her as she pointed to me on the map. "Musicology by Professor Meskins." the timetable said as I sighed.  
>"Here we go." I muttered entering the auditorium.<p>

I looked around finding no familiar face. I sighed in relief. "At least I can get through this shit without anyone bothering me." I thought as my first lesson started. I started daydreaming as a couple of students were rushing in.

…

"_Here we go." Manny said filling the bag.  
>"Manny are you sure this is wise? This isn't the most subtle way to do things." I told him as he rolled his eyes.<br>"Don't be such a wimp Webster, its fine look; the alarm is off." he stated pointing to the Machine. _

"_Right." I mumbled clearing out the cash as I heard sirens going off. "What the fuck Manny I thought the alarm was off?" I hissed at her as she looked at me nervously.  
>"Come on." he said as we started running away hearing footsteps following us. I took another direction hiding from them as I saw them closing in on him. I quickly made some noise to distract them. Come on you bastards, follow me not him. Manny jumped over a hedge as they tried to follow him. I'm not going to let them get to a 14 year old lad. I quickly bashed in a car window getting their attention as I started running.<em>

…

"You're in my seat." a voice said as I got snapped out of my space.

"What?" I muttered angrily.

"You're in. my. seat." A blonde bloke said as I snorted. "Didn't you hear me?" he said breathing into my neck.

"While I sit here and ponder that, could you go and swallow a tic tac or summit?" I said to him as a couple of people started whispering and giggling. "Ugh fucking school system." I thought.

"Alright class settle down!" The teacher said as the bloke sat down on another seat.  
>"Twat." I muttered as the teacher started saying our names.<p>

"Sophie Webster." the teacher voiced as I reluctantly raised my hand getting a few whispers and glances from the class. "You're the new student." he stated as I sighed.

"Yes." I huffed as he nodded nervously.

…

Class finally finished as I started making my way out of the auditorium as fast as possible. One of the bloke's mates was standing in the doorway as he was blocking me. "Are you going to let me pass or do you need your boyfriend's permission to do so?" I huffed at him as he and his mates closed up on me.

"He is not my boyfriend." he said pushing me. Really are they serious? This is brave, get all your mates together and _then _corner the girl.

"Whatever." I huffed as I tried to pass but he pushed me back making me angrier. He had no idea who he was dealing with. "Will you and your bloody boy band leave me alone!" I said angrily as he smiled devilishly.

"You're good with your mouth, why don't you try kissing the ground with it." he said pissing me off as I punched him in the stomach making him crutch.

"Nah been there done that, why don't you try kissing his ass instead, you know get some quality time." I said running away as his mates followed me. Fuck sakes, first day and I'm already in a fight. Uggh and I don't even have anyone to back me up in this rotten excuse for a school.

I ran all the way outside where I saw goose standing by his mates. I hesitated for a second but didn't see any harm in trying to get his help.  
>"Hi." I said breathlessly as he smiled. His smile faded though when he saw a group of boys lining up behind me.<p>

"In trouble already." the 16 year old said as I chuckled shrugging. "Don't worry they won't come near here." Goose said as I looked at him.

"And why is that?" I asked him.

"They wouldn't want to have any trouble with the headmistress' daughter now would they?" he asked raising his voice so they could hear him as Sian nudged him.

"Fuck sakes Goose." she muttered angrily.  
>"You're the headmistress' daughter?" I snorted as she fiddled with her hands, obviously embarrassed.<p>

"Interesting." I thought as I watched her squirm.  
>"Whatever." she huffed as I started laughing.<br>"Well sorry princess." I said to her as her eyes were throwing me daggers.

"You don't know anything about me." she said raising her head.

"Don't worry I'm not planning on getting to know you either." I laughed as she started walking away leaving me alone with goose.

"Why are you even friends with her?" I asked him. "You seem like a pretty cool guy." I told him as he shrugged laughing.

"She just needs some time to warm up to ya." he stated.

"Time? She seems like a right icequeen all the time if you ask me." I snorted as he smirked.

"She just gets a lot of pressure yanno, with being the headmistress daughter. They're pretty tough on her." he stated as I snorted again.

"I bet they give her a hard time." I said sarcastically as he shook his head in amusement.

"What was that all about with you and Christopher's lads anyways." he asked me as I frowned. "Christopher's lads?" I raised my eyebrows as he shrugged. "Well." he asked as I huffed.

"Just the typical bully that can't handle some girl talking back." I stated as he started laughing.

"You're not one to get by unnoticed ay." he chuckled making me smile. "Listen Sophie if you want to stay at this school you gotta watch out though. Christopher is the typical little rich boy, he'll do everything to make your life miserable. He'll try to get you kicked out." he stated as I smirked.

"Who says I want to stay." I stated as he smiled.

"Well if you wanna go, why don't you just quit." he asked me as I sighed.

"I can't… I need to get expelled if I want to go." I stated as he smirked.

"Well if you wanna go, then go out in style and not by Chris' doing." he stated as I smiled.

"I'm getting the feeling I'll be asking you for assistance goosy." I said to him as he chuckled. "Beginning of a beautiful friendship ay." he laughed as I snorted.

"Yeah summit like that." I said to him.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Walking down the hallway towards the dining room I crossed a glass case with old pictures; All girls of course. I sighed as I looked at the black and white photos. Rugby, chess, dance competitions, piano recitals. Fuck sakes this school really was for wimps.

"Hey." I heard someone say behind me. I turned around and was met by 2 green eyes.

"Hi." I said nonchalantly.

"I'm Amber." she stated as I pursed my lips. I wasn't planning on making friends or anything else while I was here. I just wanted to get out as quickly as I could.

"Sophie." I said as I started walking away.

"Hey wait." she said making my eyes roll as she came after me. "Where you going?" she asked me as I rolled my eyes once more.

"Its 7h30 in the morning where do you think I would be going. I'm going to the dining room to get some breakfast." I huffed as she frowned.

"Well me too… I'll come with you." she stated as I choked mentally.

"No… look I was just looking for some solitude just leave me be yeah." I answered as she seemed hurt. I started walking off as fast as possible. I finally reached the dining room as I saw Goose and his mates. I quickly sat down next to him.

"Hi." I mumbled as he smiled.

"Rough night." he asked as he pointed to my hair. I huffed.

"Yeah well Mack wanted to sleep with the bloody window open all the fucking night." I grumbled as he chuckled.

"Well she's been doing that for almost 3 weeks now." he stated.

"3 weeks ago it wasn't raining or this cold." I answered as he looked at me sympathetically.

"So you still haven't found a way to get expelled?" he asked me as I shook my head.

"All the previous attempts didn't really work." I stated as he smirked. "Yeah well Headmistress is pretty nonchalant bout these things." he stated as I nodded my head remembering my previous attempts.

…

"_Okay how did you say this worked?" I asked him on the phone. "You just sweep your version on the stick and remove his." he stated as I found his file.  
>"At least his presentation will give the teacher an idea on what his mind is all the time." I mumbled as I deleted the other version on his USB stick. I smirked as I left the building. <em>

_I sat there sniggering the next morning when he was giving his presentation, leaving him completely clueless to what was going on. His presentation video was giving him a football scene soonly followed by a lesbian porn scene "Who the fuck messed with this?" he screamed as the teacher intervened._

"_Christopher, this is outraging turn it off NOW." he shouted as I chuckled making him look at me._

"_Webster you did this." he stated as I nodded.  
>"Yeah." I smiled. Unfortunately when I got to Janet's office she couldn't see my error. <em>

_She didn't even believe it was me who changed the version. Instead Christopher got detention for a month, which wasn't the worst outcome._

…

"Even though it was pretty funny." Goose stated.

"Yeah but.." I started huffing. "At least that was funny what you did next…jeech Soph, you didn't get a lot of love from that one." he stated as I shrugged.

"They'll get over it." I stated.

"Sophie trashing the music room wasn't cool." he stated as rolled my eyes.

"People are starting to ask me why I hang out with you." he huffed as I frowned.

"Well why do you? I don't need you, I don't need anyone." I told him as he raised an eyebrow.

"Stop shitting around." he huffed as he continued eating.

"At least I got credit for that one." I stated as he nodded. "Yeah." he huffed.

"Hi guys." Mack said sitting at our table.

"Hi." I mumbled as it stayed silent for a couple of minutes.

"So… this is 'fun'" she sniggered as I rolled my eyes. "Come on you guys… it's almost autumn festival, it's THIS weekend! Aren't you excited." she stated as I sighed.

"No not really, I don't think I'm gonna go." I huffed. "Oh come on Sophie." Mack yammered.

**Sian **

I don't know why Goose insisted I go to this thing, especially when that Sophie Webster is part of the crowd. God I can't believe what an uptight big headed bitch she is. A lot of people worked hard to get into this program and she just takes it for granted.

"Sian over here!" someone shouted as I turned around watching Mack wave frantically. "Hi." I smiled as she groped my hand leading me to a tent.

"Mack what are we doing here?" I asked her. "It's a circus show, I wanna watch." she said as I chuckled.

"Okay." I said shakily as she grinned.

"Gooooosey over here, we're over here." she shouted as Goose and ugh Sophie Webster came to sit next to us. She huffed her way over here as she sat down. I frowned.  
>"Why did she even come here if she's gonna mope and huff all day." I thought as she looked at me. Her gaze was full of anger and frustration; I wondered what could've happened to make this girl so unhappy.<p>

"Ladies, Gentlemen and children the most magnificent show on earth is starting." the guy in the middle shouted as the crowd started clapping. Soon enough elephants, clowns, ladies on horses, bally broads and freaks were passing by.

A half an hour in the show I noticed Webster leaving as I rolled my eyes. "Why is she even here." I huffed as Goose frowned.

"Come on Sian don't be like that. Why do you gotta be on her case like that?" he asked me as I couldn't really find a legit answer.

"I don't know she just bugs me. She just ugh, she acts like she's all that and is a bitch to most people. I just don't like her." I answered as he sighed.

"Look she's just complicated. You might end up liking her if you just got to know her better." he stated as I snorted.

"Open your eyes Goose. Sophie Webster is the kind of person where what you see is what you get." I huffed as Sophie reentered the tent at that right moment.

"That's original." she mumbled as she sat down making me close my eyes in regret. I didn't want any trouble, I meant what I said, but I didn't like confrontations.

"YOU." someone shouted with a silly voice. "AND HER her her droopey!" one of the clowns shouted as I suddenly felt very nervous. I hated being picked out of the crowd.

"No no no, please." I pleaded as the clown smirked.  
>"Come on." He pouted fakely as he got the crowd to cheer me on.<br>"Ugh." I mumbled as I got up making the crowd erupt in cheers.  
>"Come on and you." they said pointing at Sophie that got up against her will.<p>

"Oh no, fucking great." I mumbled as they got us to the center.

The clown started making all kind of sounds waving our arms to get closer. "ooooollaalaaaa." he shouted as he wiggled his eyebrows pointing at both of our asses. I chuckled slightly as they started moving Sophie around putting her into a silly position as everybody started laughing. The crowd started laughing even more as they did the same to me.

Next thing I knew I we were both imitating the silly sounds they were making as the crowd's laughter grew. The clown pointed his fists right, expecting me to do the same but instead I pointed my fists to him, making him jump away. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Sophie chuckling; her laughter was intoxicating and made me laugh even more. "well I'll be damned, she can laugh." I thought as the clown arrived with a big plastic shuffle. He started chasing his coworker with it as more laughter filled the tent.

As they finally let us back to our seats I sighed relieved.

….

As we walked out the tent I was held back by my arm. "Chris." I mumbled.

"Hey Sianie." he smiled sweetly as I scrunched up my noise. I could smell the alcohol on his breath. "What do you want." I muttered as he frowned.

"Well a dance of course." he smiled as I frowned. Chris had been hitting on me since last spring. Ugh.

"Sorry, I was just about to leave, another time maybe." I stated as I started walking away feeling my arm to be grabbed again. "Chris just leave- Sophie." I frowned. "Can I help you." I asked her as an awkward silence was settling in.

"Yeah you, uhm- forgot this." she stated as I looked at my purse in her hands.

"Uhh tha- thanks." I stuttered. "I can't believe I forgot it." I said to her as she smiled shyly.

"Yeah well, see ya." she stated as I frowned feeling the sudden urge to stop her from leaving.

"Wait." I shouted after her as she turned around looking at me differently than she did before.

"What?" she huffed.

"Uhm are you going back to the dorms?" I asked her as she shrugged.

"Why?" she frowned as I felt a different vibe coming from her. When she gave me my purse back, I felt a kind of vulnerability about her, but her icy approach coated her and she was back to her old manners.  
>"No reason, just curiosity." I stated as I turned away from her clutching my purse.<p>

"Hey Sian." I heard someone shout.  
>"Ugh what?" I groaned as I turned around seeing Mack stand in front of me smiling.<br>"We're going to barn later." she grinned.  
>"Oh I don't know Mack, I don't really feel like getting splattered tonight." I stated as she looked at me with her puppy eyes.<p>

"Please, it'll be loads of fun, and Goosey's got his special blend with him." she stated as I sighed. I guess one drink won't hurt. "Alright." I sighed as she squealed.

The barn was a place Goose found last year. People came there for all sorts of reason: to hide, to get laid, get some alone time with their boy/girlfriends but mostly to get monumentally splattered.

…

I woke up with a smashing headache. I got up clutching my head feeling sick to my stomach. Oh my God what the hell did I do last night? And what the hell did I drink? I rubbed my temples and splashed some water in my face.

"Ugh I'm hangover." I stated as I still tried to remember what I did last night to get me into this state. I mean I never got this drunk, my mother would kill me if she'd ever see me drunk or high. One of the policies at this school was immediate expulsion if you'd use drugs on the premises, even though she would never enforce it, unless she didn't like you or that person was me. She never wanted me to be an art student, said it wouldn't get me anywhere. I sighed putting my head in my hands. I bet Sophie Webster wouldn't get expe- oh god- Webster, OH MY GOD. My mind just hit the alarm button as I remembered what happened last night.

"Oh no, shit fucking- what the hell have I done." I yammered falling back on my bed, regretting everything what happened the night before.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**Sophie **

The fuck is wrong with me. Why oh why did I agree to go to this party? "Sophie you came." Mac beamed as she approached me.

"Yeah I did." I mumbled as she smiled tugging at my shirt.  
>"Come on lets go see what Goose is up to." she stated as she dragged me to the front. The nice DJ set was just sitting there. I couldn't believe they were just playing some dumbass playlist on his IPod.<p>

"Sophie, Sophie!" someone shouted at me dragging me out of my thoughts.  
>"What?" I snapped as I turned my face seeing Goose smirk at me.<br>"Liking the DJ set." he smirked at me as I just shrugged.  
>"I suppose." I mumbled.<p>

"Say Sophie you never told us how you got in this college, I mean Janet can be pretty sweet about charity cases but she would never let anybody in if she didn't think they had any kind of talent." he stated as I shrugged once more.

"I guess there's a first time for everything." I snapped back as he nodded.

"Come on Soph you're in the music department, you must have some sort of talent in there or you wouldn't be here, you would be at the army base of Manchester." He stated as I sighed.

I never wanted to come to this rich people school. Mum tricked me into saying she was just coming to see a gig of mine.

…

"_Why do you wanna come anyways?" I snapped at her. "You never wanna come! If I remember correctly it was and I quote 'a broken boom box performance with criminals and druggies as an audience who don't know any better than just liking it'" I stated as she sighed. _

"_Come on love, we're really trying here." my dad stated as I sighed. _

"_Fine." I huffed as my words echoed in the room leaving both of my parents speechless. I stormed out swinging my bag over my shoulder. _

_Feeling the beat run through my fingers. The headset covering one ear as I managed the DJ set. I always loved the vibrations that ran from my fingers to my spine whenever I would spin. As I changed smoothly to another song the crowd cheered hearing it. As they adjusted to the next beat, I squinted seeing my parents in the back. I smiled mentally. "They actually came." I thought but my smile faltered quickly as I noticed my mother talking to a guy in suit. "What the fuck." I mumbled angrily. What was going on?_

"_Who's the suit?" Cara asked me.  
>"I have no idea." I shouted at her over the music.<br>"Take over will ya." I asked her as she nodded. I quickly made my way over to the back. "Mum." I stated frowning at the guy in a black suit. _

"_Ah Sophie." she smiled. "Mr. Harris this is our daughter Sophie." she stated as I frowned.  
>"Nice to meet you, you're pretty good at spinning I notice." he smirked as my brows furrowed.<br>"I guess, what's it to you?" I snapped as my dad nudged me.  
>"Sophie! Don't be so rude." my mother snapped at me as I smiled fakily.<br>"You earn respect mother, and if I'm not mistaking he hasn't earned anything yet." I stated flashing another fake smile to the suit and walked away hearing my parents apologize to the penguin. _

"_Well who was it then?" Cara asked me as she handed me my headset back.  
>"I don't know, some penguin talking to my parents." I stated huffing to her.<br>"What was his name? Not many suits come to this club, might be someone that wants to give you a deal." she stated making me burst out in laughs.  
>"As if, in this neighborhood?" I laughed.<br>"Well what was his name." she asked me.  
>"Harris." I stated as she looked at me bright-eyed.<br>"Carl Harris?" she asked as I shrugged. _

"_Not sure." I muttered.  
>"Soph, BABE." she tugged at my shirt as I rolled my eyes. "Don't roll your eyes at me." she frowned as I smiled.<br>"Yes dear." I smiled kissing her lips.  
>"Soph, he might be someone important." she stated as I turned my head.<br>"Well I don't really care, all I care right now is getting you nice. and. wet." I stated stroking her center as she slapped it off.  
>"SOPH." she squealed as I chuckled. "I love the way you think babe, but not in public." she sniggered.<em>

…

"Sophie man!" Goose nudged me. "Are you on something, you just went somewhere?" he stated as I frowned.  
>"No, not yet anyways." I smirked making him laugh.<br>"Well if you do decide to get some, save some for me." he sniggered as I chuckled.  
>"Okay okay." we heard someone shout in the DJ microphone. "Let's get this party really starting." the guy said.<p>

"Who's that?" I asked Goose.  
>"David." he stated. "He's the DJ on most gigs." Goose stated as I nodded. "Well at least the DJ set isn't going to waste anymore." I thought as he started playing.<br>"He's pretty good." I thought as he started saying some things in the microphone.

"Okay so who's in for a little dance off yeah." he asked making the crowd shout.  
>"Come on Goose." I heard Mac cheer as he chuckled.<br>"You gonna go?" I asked him as he shrugged.  
>"Sure, chicks like it." he said with a funny voice. A group of people lined up. It seemed like it was going to be a girls vs. boys dance off.<p>

"Alright alright Girls against boys, why not." David chuckled altering his music. He put on some old school hip hop as I smiled. I liked him, he knew his music. The girls were up first as I heard the DJ shout "Ladies first, let's be gentlemen ay." he sniggered making me chuckle. The girls started showing off their moves as I noticed Sian entering. She talked to a couple of people until she took off her sweater, downed a shot and joined the battle.

As expected of her the queen bee got pushed to the front. She started moving around, making fun of the boys as I found myself smiling. She was pretty good. "What you think?" Mac asked me as I snapped my head to her.

"Yeah it's cool." I mumbled.  
>"Sian's good isn't she?" Mac said smiling goofily. If I didn't know any better, I'd think Mac had a little crush on Sian. Good thing I knew better as I followed her eyes to a boy dancing in the middle.<br>"Yeah she's alright, for a ballerina." I smirked as Mac's head snapped up.  
>"Yeah." she stated obviously flustered.<p>

"He's a pretty good dancer too." I stated pointing to the boy she was drooling over. Her cheeks flushed a shade of pink as she looked at the ground. "Yeah." she stated as I chuckled.

"OH it's the boys turn now." Mac said turning to her own witty self. I watched goose pop and lock it as I smiled. He was very good. He started imitating the girls as I chuckled. He started moving very girly obviously mocking the female race.

The dance battle ended with the boys winning. "Well done." I stated as Goose joined us. He smiled as everything went dark. "What the fuck." I muttered as a couple of girls screamed making me roll my eyes.

"Must be a fuse." Goose stated as a couple people started lighting candles.

…

I walked around the place lightened with candles and cell phones. I noticed Sian downing everything she got her hands on. I took out my cell phone when she started doing drugs and acting all silly. I hit record as I followed her every move. I was pretty drunk myself and was laughing my ass off at what she was doing.

"Hey Sian watch it, if mummy dearest sees you like this." some other girl laughed as she couldn't finish her sentence.

"Mummy dearest is the biggest cow on earth. If you'd only know, she might be all nice and sweet with you guys, but it's all an act." she slurred as I stopped chuckling. "SHE!" she said pointing drunkenly "She out does fucking Julia Roberts with her act, all she wants is your money." she started laughing as the room got quiet. "I mean do you actually think she cares 'bout anyone but that." she slurred almost tripping off the table she was standing on.

"HEY! Why are you filming me you stupid girl." she slurred dropping her drink as she made me chuckle.

"Well maybe I just want the material, when I could use a good laugh." I stated as she frowned.  
>"Give me that." she stated waving her hands. I quickly put my cell away smirking as she tried to take it from me. She was way too pissed to do anything.<br>"Come oon Ssophiee, if my mother ever like sees that." she slurred as I chuckled.  
>"Well let's just hope she'll never see it then ay." I winked at her chuckling as I turned around.<br>"Sophie!" she shouted after.

"Relax, I want to get myself expelled not you." I stated walking away.

"You okay?" Goose asked me as I chuckled.  
>"Yeah never better, got Janet's little princess on camera." I stated shaking my cell phone as he chuckled. "Nice." he stated as I put my phone away.<br>"Let's hope Janet never sees that." he stated as I smiled.  
>"She won't, I'm not that heartless. As much as she annoys me, I wanna get me expelled not her, besides Janet would never do that." I stated as he nodded.<p>

"Well you do have a bit of power over Sianie." he stated a frowned. "Her mother would expel her if she'd see that." he stated as I nodded. "That's why Sian can't do anything." he slurred as I frowned.

"What do you mean?" I asked him.

"She has to follow the rules, or mummy dearest _will_ expel her. That's just the way it is." he stated downing another cocktail.  
>"Hmm right, so the princess, isn't treated like a princess by her mother." I stated smirking as he nodded.<br>"Can't have everything." he stated as I chuckled.  
>"Suppose not." I stated as he stumbled on the chair behind him.<p>

"Poor Sianniieee though." he slurred as I held him still. "No one will date her." he said pouting as I frowned.

"Well I can understand that, the ice queen won't let anybody have a go." I stated chuckling as he heaved his shoulders.  
>"Well that and if you date Sianie, Janet won't treat you with a lot of grace either." he said as he started coughing. "Omg I think I'm gonna." he said holding his hand on his mouth as I pulled him up and put him on the ground. His knees hit the ground as he started puking in the garbage can standing near us.<p>

I rubbed his back as I smiled to myself. I think I just found my way to get expelled.

….

"Goose, GOOSE." I started shaking him. "Fuck." I muttered as I held out my cell phone. I hesitated for one second. "If I call the hospital, Janet will know." I thought as I groaned. I couldn't let everyone get busted.

"Mac!" I yelled at her as she came to join me. "Who owns a car here?" I asked her as she pointed to Sian.  
>"What happened." she asked me looking worried.<br>"I think he needs to get his stomach pumped." I stated as she nodded pursing her lips.

"Sian!" I yelled.

…

We were waiting in the waiting room after the doctor told us Goose was going to be fine. I remembered some things from the party as I smiled.

"Say Sian." I said as she turned around.

"Yeah." she said obviously sobered up.

"Remember how I said I wouldn't show this to your mother." I said carefully as she nodded. I smiled at her as she looked at me wide-eyed.  
>"You're not going back on your word are you?" she asked as her voice cracked in horror.<br>"No, not really. Look I need to get out of here alright." I explained to her as she furrowed her brows.  
>"Yeah and? Be my guest." she stated as I sighed.<br>"I can't leave, I need to get expelled." I stated as she rolled her eyes.  
>"Why?" she asked as I groaned. This girl was asking way to many questions.<br>"Because I just need to alright." I stated as she shrugged.

"Why are you telling me this now; I mean Goose is having his stomach pumped." she stated as I bit my lip.  
>"I need your help." I stated as she huffed.<br>"Fat chance at that happening." she stated as I sighed.  
>"Fine, then I'll just have to show this to your mum." I stated as she snapped her head back to me. "What?" she asked shakily."You're blackmailing me?" she hissed at me.<br>"Blackmail is such an ugly word, let's just call it an agreement. You scratch my back and well I won't show this to your mother." I stated as she hesitated for a second.  
>"Well what would you have me do?" she asked huffing.<p>

"Well a little birdie told me, your boyfriends have a short life span at this school due to your mom." I told her as she frowned.  
>"Where are you going with this?" she asked as I smiled.<br>"Your mom thinks she can better me. I just want to be left alone and go home. But all of the sudden my parents care and I can't leave. They'll just keep bothering me. They've given up on me before, I just need to get expelled and they'll be back to their non caring selves. So what I suggest is you help me, by getting your mom to not like me. The best way to piss of Janet is if someone's dating her perfect little girl ." I stated as her eyes widened.

"You want to _date_ me?" she asked in disbelief.  
>"Yeah." I smiled.<br>"What? You- no!" she stuttered but I frowned. "I'm not going to have a big fight with my mother over not only dating someone, but dating a girl- no, forget it." she stated as I shrugged.

"Okay, let's hope the fight bought this video won't be as bad as that then." I stated getting up. "I'm going to get tea." I stated as I started walking away.

…

**Sian **

A part of me felt bad for her. She wanted her parents to not care, like they did before. She's seriously messed up. Nevertheless I couldn't shake this furious feeling as a reaction to her audacity. I started feeling very sick to my stomach. As if the nervous knot was getting bigger and bigger. I couldn't believe fucking Webster was black mailing me. "Ugggh just do it! Once she's gone, you can brush it off as a faze." I got up fiddling. I ran towards her and pulled at her arm. "Wait-okay." I stated. "But don't expect me to do anything. I'm going along with the label and the pretend, but that's it." I stated as she smiled nodding.

"Thank you." she stated as I sighed.

Oh fuck this was not going to be fun.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_I was kicking myself mentally as I heard a knock on the door. "Sian." the voice said behind the door as I sighed getting up.  
>"What is it mother?" I asked opening the door as she pursed her lips and got in. "Why don't you come in." I muttered as she was already standing in my room. She seemed pissed off about something. "Is there summit you want." I huffed crossing my arms as she sighed sitting down. <em>

"_Yes, you're being kicked out, I saw the video. I can't accept that behavior, you are to pack your bags and leave at dawn." she said as I felt fear hit my heart.  
>"What?" I asked shakily feeling a knot form in my stomach.<em>

…_._

"_Gooooood mornin, good morning! We've talked the whole night through, good morning good morning to you."_ my alarm clock went off as I woke up sweating like a sinner in church. "Jesus." I muttered as I rubbed my temples. I sighed in relief. "It was a dream- fuck me what a messed up dream that was." I sighed choking on my words as I got up. I took my things and made my way to the bathroom.

"Hey." Chris said as I frowned.

"What are you doing here, this is the girls' floor." I snapped as he raised his eyebrows.  
>"Rough night?" he asked me as I frowned.<p>

"What's it to you?" I asked passing past him and to the bathroom. "Fucking nightmare." I muttered under my breath as I locked the door behind me. I looked in the mirror and saw my pale face. Ugh fucking great I look like crap. I quickly let the shower run as I got into it.

I let the warm water splash on my skin as I rested my head against the cubicle wall. This was gonna end bad, I could feel it.

"Knock knock knock! Sian come on!" Mac screamed as I groaned.

"I've been here for 2 minutes Mac! Go find another shower." I shouted as I heard her go away.

After I washed up and rinsed my hair I got out of the shower. I fixed my hair and brushed my teeth. I didn't want to start this day. I knew the minute I walked into the dining room I had to act as- as Webster's girlfriend. I mean I wasn't even gay for Christ sake.

I sighed at the mess I created and Webster took advantage of. I hated her; I really hated her for what she's doing to me. I didn't want to fight my mother over this, whatever she'd say I'd agree with her anyways. I needed to pretend a fight. "Fuck sakes." I muttered.

I finally got the courage to step out of the bathroom and head back to my room. As I entered the room I was met by her face. "What do you want Webster?" I asked her as she smiled.

"Morning to you to sunshine." she cheered as I rolled my eyes. "Well we need to get our story straight, people are gonna want to know how the two of us got together." she smiled as I groaned. "Can't we just wing it?" I huffed sitting down on the bed as she frowned.

"No, I want to do this properly." she stated as I nodded. I didn't have a choice in any of this, might as well go with it.

"Alright." I sighed as she smiled.

"Good- great okay. I have an idea to keep up appearances." she stated as I looked at her skeptically. "What do you have in mind?" I asked her as she smiled.

"Well once a week, at the least, we have dinner and well get to know facts about each other." she stated as I frowned.

"I thought this was all pretend?" I stated as she rolled her eyes.

"Of course it's pretend. You might be alright looking, but I wouldn't touch you with a 6 foot pole." she stated as I felt a bit hurt and angry. I frowned and got reminded what a bitch this girl was.

"Right." I snapped as she sat back.

"Look I need to know a couple basic facts bout you. If people notice I don't know anything about you, we won't be believable as a couple." she stated as I sighed once more.

"Fine." I muttered as she smiled.

"Okay, so what we just say we hooked up at the party, got to know each other and- I don't know felt something yadda yadda, feelings crap stuff." she stated as I raised my eyebrow.

"Feelings and crap?" I smirked as she chuckled.

"I don't believe in fairy tales." she stated as I frowned.

"You think feelings are fairy tales?" I asked her as she sighed.

"No, I believe being truly in love is a fairy tale." she stated as I raised my eyebrows.

"Woaaw someone must've screwed you up badly." I chuckled as she rolled her eyes.

"No darling, I'm just a realistic. Anyways let's go for breakfast. I'm starving." she stated as we both got up.

"One more thing, don't kiss me." I said to her as she smirked. "We'll just say I don't believe in public affection. So don't even try it." I stated as she laughed.

"As if I would." she said as I smiled.

"Okay good, then we agree." I stated as she smiled.

"Yes we do." she said.

…

**Sophie **

"What?" goose said bewildered.

"What do you mean you're together?" he asked frowning more than he ever had.

"I guess, first impressions aren't all that ay." I stated as he narrowed his eyes.

"Look Goose, we've just found each other in all of this." she stated as he started tapping his foot. He wasn't buying it as I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"Well if you don't like, that's your problem." I stated as she Sian looked at me frowning.

"I have class in 5 minutes, I should go." I stated as I turned to Sian. "I'll see you later, _sweetie." _I said as she almost frowned making me laugh mentally.

"Sure- babe." she said as I smiled at her. I started walking away.

The minute I entered the classroom I saw Christopher walk towards. Ugh, fucking hell. "Hello Webster." he said smugly as I rolled my eyes ignoring him. "What? No hello back? That's rude yanno." he stated cornering me against the wall as I could smell his god awful breath against my cheek.

"Sorry I didn't hear you miss." I stated as he frowned.

"Right." he hissed at me as I ducked away from his grip. "I'd really like to-" he started threatening as our teacher came into the room.

"Ah I see we're all eager to learn today." he smiled as I sat down. "Christopher why don't you take a seat." he said to him as Chris groaned making me chuckle. He was like this spoiled wanna-be alpha male dog. His appearances weren't working on me though. I've had enough of those where I came from.

….

"Hey." I said to her as she turned around and smiled a little.

"Hi… what do you want?" she asked me as I chuckled.

"Well when are you going to introduce me to your mother." I stated as she looked at me intensely.

"What? Well not anytime soon." she hissed pulling me to a dark corner.

"Why not? Isn't this the whole point: your mother finding out I'm dating you hence she doesn't like me and when I finally do something to get expelled, I will be. The plan won't work if she doesn't know bout us." I stated as she groaned.

"Can't it wait? It'll look suspicious anyways if you meet her right away." She stated as I sighed. _Ugh she's right_. I pursed my lips.

"Yeah okay- you're right. In a couple weeks then." I said to her as she nodded. "Okay well I'll see you later yeah." I said to her as we both got back into the light meeting a couple of girls that were looking at her.

"Yeah, bye darling." Sian said putting up the fakest smile I've ever seen.

From that moment on we'd talked very rarely without pretences. I just wanted to get this over and done with and I supposed so did she. The week that followed went on smoothly. We kept up pretences and surprisingly I found myself tolerating her. She didn't seem like the ice queen she was, once she got into a comfortable habitat that was. She seemed more relaxed after she let her ice coating melt a bit. She even made me laugh a couple of times.

On a sunny afternoon, I made my way down the stairs and outside as I saw Goose reading or maybe even studying. I walked over and sat next to him as he looked up and smiled.

"Hey goosy." I smirked crossing my legs.

"Hey." he smiled closing his book.

"Studying?" I smirked as he chuckled.  
>"Well I got to if I wanna stay here." he stated as I nodded. "What you doing here anyways?" he asked me as I frowned.<p>

"What do you mean? I can't sit next to you?" I joked as he chuckled.

"That's not what I meant, I thought you'd be with your sister." he said to me as my eyes almost jumped out of my head.

"What? What do you mean?" I blurted out as he furrowed his brows.

"She's here, on a visit." he stated as like it was the most normal thing in the world. "Sian didn't tell you? I thought since she was your girlfriend now and all the message would be safe." he started saying as I felt anger ripple through me.

"No, she must've forgotten." I said cutting him off as he raised his eyebrows.

"Oh." he said a bit confused as I got up.

"Where- where is my sister? Is she still here?" I stuttered as he looked at me bewildered.

"I don't know, maybe. She would be in the lounge." he stated as I ran away heading for the lounge.

When I got there I could see Rosie in high heels on her way out.

"Rosie! Wait." I said breathlessly as she turned around frowning. "Hey." I smiled as I walked over to her.

"Hi." she said pursing her lips as I smiled.

"What are you doing here? I'm so happy to see you." I said wanting to hug her but she flinched making me frown. "What's wrong?" I asked her as she sighed.

"I've been waiting for over 2 hours and now that I wanna leave, you're stopping me." she frowned as I closed my eyes sighing.

"I didn't know you were here, no one told me." I stated as she gave me a skeptical look.

"Don't lie Sophie." she stated as I threw my hands in the air.

"I'm not." I said with a high pitch voice as she rolled her eyes shaking her head.

"Oh come on Sophie, this is a civilized institution. They let you know if someone's waiting for you." she stated. "You haven't changed a bit have you? Always fucking with people's minds." she stated as I choked.

"What?" I blurted out. "What the fuck Rosie, what has that got to do with anything?" I yelled at her as she raised an eyebrow.

"You always try to control people." She stated as I frowned walking towards her. "See, I mean you get caught, so here am I thinking she learned her lesson. But no, you're still a mind fuck." she stated as I almost laughed.

"You're overreacting! I didn't know you were here, this isn't mind fucking. Don't be so childish. Come on, don't. I haven't seen you in ages let's just talk and catch up-" I started saying as she huffed at me making me frown. "What has gotten into her?" I thought as she sighed.

"I won't come here anymore, it was a mistake." she stated as I tried to stop her.

"Wait Rosie. What!" I said to her as I held her arm.

"You just disappoint people." she stated as she walked away.

"_What the hell just happened?"_ I thought as I couldn't get over it. She just walked away for no good reason. I couldn't understand why she was so angry.

I felt myself getting very angry and upset. Tears were flowing down my cheeks as I punched the wall making my knuckles bleed. "Fuck- damn it." I shouted as I heard Sian behind me with her _possy_.

"Sophie." she said smiling fakily as I groaned. "Soph, are you okay?" she asked as I started walking away. I wouldn't let anyone see me like this. "Sophie." she yelled going after me as I turned around.

"Oh why don't you just go back to your fake little friends and leave me alone." I shouted at her as she was taken aback.

"Honey." she said looking at her friends feeling a bit uncomfortable.

"Don't call me that, I don't need you're fake concern so why don't you just fuck off." I stated as I could see all her friends looking wide-eyed. I rolled my eyes and started running away.

I sat down outside in the garden as I heard someone walk out of the building. "Sophie, hey Webster!" I heard a very annoyed Sian huff behind me. "What the fuck has gotten into you? I mean you're the one that wanted to pretend we're all lovey dovey, so what's this? A lovers' quarrel?" She hissed as I grinded my teeth. "Fuck sakes what kind of mind fuck are you?" she asked as I felt my blood boil.

"You know what? This is all your fault." I said remembering it was Sian that was supposed to pass on the message my sister was here.

"What?" she blurted out as I pushed her making her stumble back. "What are you on about?" she asked as I laughed.

"Oh, I don't know? How about the message you were supposed to pass on." I stated as she closed her eyes hitting her head as she realized.

"Oh shit I'm sorry, I forgot." she muttered guilty as I snorted.

"You forgot? You forgot." I said punching a tree. "Damn it, because of you my sister- Fuck." I groaned as she sighed.

"Look, I'm sorry okay." she shouted at me as I felt myself getting angrier.

"Yeah you will be." I muttered as she turned me around pulling at my arm.

"Excuse me?" she said angry as I flinched away from her.

"You will be." I said to her. I was so pissed off.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I was making my way to the breakfast table next to my so-called girlfriend. "Hey." I mumbled as she didn't look at me.

"Hey guys." Mac raced to us and sat down as she frowned looking at us. "Trouble in paradise?" she smirked as I looked up and smiled.

"No course not." I smiled widely as I put my arm around Sian's shoulders. It made me cringe to be all touchy with this girl, but I had to keep it up if I wanted to get out of here.

"She just has a bit of a bad mood in the morning." I giggled fakely as Mac smiled buying into it. Sian smiled weakly as she shuffled away.

"Yeah." she mumbled as I continued eating my breakfast. The last couple of weeks had been quite the journey. I started getting her into trouble. I knew it was childish, but I was so angry. When she found out it was me I never thought she would've retaliated, but she did.

And so now we were playing cat and mouse. Every time I would do something to her, she would come back screaming and kicking.

The first thing I did, now that I look back on it, all the things I did were very childish, but yet effective. It gave me great pleasure to see the embarrassed face of queen bee Sian Powers every time I pulled something creative out of my bag of pranks.

….

_I made my way to the showers and noticed Sian had left her shampoo bottle. As I saw a redhead walk down the hall, I got an idea to get our queen bee a bit in trouble. I made my way to my room and got some red coloring shampoo I used for a party once. I wanted to throw this thing out ages ago, since I had to colour my hair brown again. It was supposed to be washable but I realized as I was washing my hair after, the colour wouldn't come off. _

_Given the opportunity that Sian's shampoo bottle was still on display in the girl's bathroom I quickly poured half of the shampoo bottle in the sink and poured some of my red colouring in the bottle. While closing the bottle I could hear footstep coming towards the bathroom as I quickly locked myself into one of the cubicles. _

…

_I walked to the breakfast table and couldn't spot Sian anywhere. "Any idea where Sianie is?" Mac asked me as I shook my head. _

"_I might go check on her in her room yeah." I smiled as I got up. As I got to her door and gently knocked on it. I could hear Sian huffing and groaning. _

"_Sian?" I asked knocking on the door. _

"_Go away Webster- fucking Webster." she hissed as I chuckled. I knew full well why she didn't wanna come out. _

"_What's going on? You okay sweetheart?" I giggled as her door swung open. She dragged me into the room and took off the towel wrapped around her head. She pointed to her red hair and looked at me with death in the eyes. "Oh." I laughed as she pushed me against the door. _

"_You did this, didn't you?" she hissed as I shrugged smiling. _

"_Maybe." I smirked as she groaned. _

"_What the hell Sophie!" she shouted at me as I shrugged again. "Why?" She hissed. _

"_What? You thought I was bluffing when I said you'd be sorry?" I asked raising my eyebrows as I made her furious. _

"_Fucking hell. Fine, fine. I've tried apologizing, but if you won't take it, FINE." She shouted._

…

I chuckled at the memory as Sian looked at me with raised eyebrows. I just shrugged as she got up. "I'll see you later." she mumbled as I chuckled again. I thought back to the days that followed after the hair incident and remembered what Sian did to me after.

…

_I was bricking it badly. I had played for a lot of people before, but never was I graded on them. I entered the class and saw Goose sitting in the back. He handed me my spinning equipment and recordings as I smiled at him. "Thanks, the CD is in it right?" I asked him as he nodded. _

"_Relax you'll be fine. I've heard it, it's great alright. I knew you had some kind of talent that got you into this school." he stated as I shrugged. _

"_Yeah well I've never been graded on my talent so." I stuttered as he smirked. _

"_What?" I said sounding annoyed.  
>"Thought your only concern was to get out of here, didn't think you'd put any effort in a test." he stated as I shuffled awkwardly. <em>

"_Yeah well, no harm in you know, getting some feedback on my stuff right?" I stated as he nodded. "Right." he answered as I sighed._

"_Sophie Webster." the jury called as I gulped. It was my turn. I walked to the front and let them listen to the CD. As they listened to it they started frowning. One angrily put the CD on stop as he took his headphones off. "Is this supposed to be a joke Ms. Webster." he said as I felt myself getting nervous._

"_No, why…?" I said shakily as he raised his eyebrows. _

"_Really so a recording of the Smurfs seems appropriate for this class." He stated as I looked at him wide-eyed. _

"_What?" I stuttered as he handed me the headphones. _

"_Have a listen yourself." He stated as I put the headphones on and a version of the Smurfs theme blasted through. I felt myself getting really warm, my ears started burning and I knew I was blushing. _

"_I- I - this isn't my recording I - I don't know what happened." I stuttered as they nodded. "Please it's the wrong CD." I stated as he sighed. _

"_If you wanted the assignment postponed, you could've asked for it." he stated as I frowned. _

"_Sir, I didn't need one. I'll get you the real one by this afternoon, I promise." I stated as he nodded. _

"_Fine, but none of this again, or I will fail you on the spot Ms. Webster." he said as I nodded. _

_Furious I made my way to Goose and dragged him to the hallway. "I'm guessing they weren't that enthusiastic. Look Soph, sometimes they're wrong and they-" he started saying as I cut him off._

"_They weren't wrong! It was a song by the fucking Smurfs Goose! What the hell? I thought you said everything was fine. I knew I shouldn't have given it to you for the night." I shouted at him as he raised his hands. _

"_Look okay, I need to tell you summit, I didn't have it for the night, because I went out and well I gave it to Sian." he stated. "But I'm sure she has nothing to do with it, something must've happened while she was sleeping and." he started saying as I headed off._

_I think I could've killed her at that moment. _

…

I felt myself almost blushing when I remembered that day. Luckily I got away with presenting my piece to my teacher that afternoon. I was so angry with her. When I confronted her with it, she didn't even try to deny it. It was payback in her eyes. And so it was.

I tried looking for something to embarrass her with like she did with me. I'd heard from a couple of her friends that she didn't have a spare leotard anymore.

…

_I heard Sian take a shower after Ballet class and made my way to the bathroom. I took her bag with me and took her leotard out of it. I locked myself in one of the cubicles next to the showers and started writing on the front. _

"_I LOVE MY GIRLFRIENDS FINGERS." I wrote in big letters with permanent marker. I knew the whole group was going to get a new set of Leotards the day after tomorrow, so it wasn't like I was making her lose money. The only thing she'd lose was her dignity and pride for a day or two. _

…

I laughed as I got up from the breakfast table and cleared off my plate. We yelled, shouted, gosh we fought so badly after that. She was so angry with me. She tried to hit me back with something, but it didn't work. Yesterday during my shower, I swore I heard someone come in, but I didn't think much of it. I continued showering, washing my hair.

…

_As I got out of the shower I noticed my clothes had gone. I rolled my eyes at what obviously meant to be one of Sian's pranks to get back at me. It didn't work this time though, cause there was one thing I wasn't ashamed of and that was my body. So next thing I did was just waltzing out of the bathroom butt naked. _

_I got raised eyebrows, heads that ducked to the side, hands covering eyes as they saw me coming. As a couple of girls started giggling and whispering things behind my back as I kept on walking my walk of shame. Sian came out of her room as she probably heard noise and looked at me wide-eyed, her cheeks flushed. I sniggered at her till I heard the head lady scream my name. _

"_WEBSTER." she shouted at me. _

…

I sighed looking back on last night's events; it was funny till I got caught butt naked in the girl's hallway. Got send with a towel around my body to the headmistress office as she gave me detention after school. Janet probably wasn't too keen on me anymore after Sian told her I was her "girlfriend.".

…

'4pm' said the clock as I quickly made my way to the upper wing. I took out my cell phone as I could only get service out here. I dialed Rosie's number. I had been trying to figure out for weeks, what was going on with her. Why she was so mad at me. She never answered my calls though. I had left at least 20 messages but she never called me back.

The dial tone just kept on going and as I was about to hang up it stopped and Rosie's voice came through the phone.

"What." she said sounding annoyed.

"Rosie hi-" I smiled into the phone. "I've been trying to reach you for ages, I wanted to-" I started saying as she cut me off.

"Well isn't it obvious when someone doesn't answer or returns your calls, they don't wish to speak to you." she snapped as I felt a dig in my stomach.

"Sis, what's going on? Why are you being like this?" I asked her as she sighed.

"Come on Sophie, you can cut the act, I know." she stated as I frowned.

"Know what?" I snapped at her not knowing what was going on.

"Look you've betrayed us, why do you keep denying that, we all know alright. I was in denial when I came to see you. I wanted you to tell me to my face what you'd done." She stated as I furrowed my brows. "What I had done?" I thought.

"What? What are you on about? Betraying you guys, I mean I didn't really do anything?" I stuttered as she groaned.

"Look the minute I saw your face I realized what you were; scum." she stated as I felt a lump grow in my throat.

"Rosie!" I croaked out as she huffed.

"Don't call me again." she said hanging up as I felt a tear run down my cheek. I quickly brushed it off, but I felt more tears coming on. I didn't know what had gotten into her. Where had my sister gone? I turned around and saw Sian standing on the other side of the hallway.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

**Sian **

Fucking great! I had to go have a little chat with my mother. These "Little chats." as she called them were never good. I made my way to the upper wing where her office was settled and knocked on her door. "Come in." she hummed as I entered the room sitting down on the chair.

"Hello Sian." she cheered as I smiled.

"Hi mum." I said to her as she frowned.

"Sian I've told you times and times again, not to call me that in here." she stated as I sighed.

"Sorry didn't realize this was a formal call Mrs. Powers." I stated as she smiled.

"Well I wanted to talk to you about the incident last week." she stated as I sighed.

"Which incident." I asked her as she took out her notepad. Great the notepad means I'm in trouble.

"Well how about you tell me what the hell happened to your leotard." she said as I sighed.

"Honestly? I don't know… I think someone's just pulling a prank on me." I lied as she nodded, writing everything down. Ugh why did she do that!

"Right, a prank, well let's hope we find the guilty one ay." she smiled at me. I knew all of her smiles were fake, but I felt it dig deep this time.

"Anything else?" I mumbled as she nodded and smiled.

"Sophie Webster." she stated as I nodded. "What about her?" I asked pretending I didn't know what was coming next.  
>"Come on Sian, you told me she was your uhm." she started stuttering as I rolled my eyes.<p>

"My girlfriend mother." I stated as she pursed her lips.

"Right." she said to me as she sighed.

"Look sweetheart… I'd prefer it if you'd stop seeing her." she stated as I scoffed. I wouldn't have wanted anything else, but just out of principle it annoyed me she was trying to control my life.

"Why?" I snapped at her as she shuffled uncomfortably in her seat.

"Well, especially after last night, can't you see what kind of girl she is?" she asked me as I almost chuckled remembering Sophie walk down the hallway naked. I caught myself remembering her sides, her wet hair sticking to her neck as the water drops ran down her body, making their way between her breasts…  
>"SIAN." my mother snapped me out of my daze. What the hell was I thinking about?<p>

"Yeah, what's your point?" I asked her getting back into the conversation.

"Look Sophie's no good for you, trust me on this one. If you would read her file, you'd see." she stated as I frowned. She did the same with my last boyfriend, telling me all about his deepest secrets, his family problems.

"Don't, I don't want to know what information you have on her okay? I'll get to know her in my own time." I stated as she raised her eyebrows.

"Really? So you don't want to know that she has a criminal record, she was arrested for gang violence, drugs possession, etc." she started saying as I got up.

"Stop, you have no right telling me all of this." I shouted at her as I felt myself cringe at the thought of Sophie. It didn't surprise the bitch had this kind of stuff in her past.

"Sian sit down!" my mother told me as I sat down huffing, leaning into my chair.

"Look now that her family doesn't want her, not even her sister after her last visit, she's all alone in the world. I don't want you to become the person she hangs onto the most, she'll drag you down with her. She's troubled I'm telling you." she stated as I felt a bit of sympathy for Sophie. Her own family didn't want her. What kind of family would do that? Well mine would. "Sian, I know you know all of her reasons why she did those things, you're going to tell me she was neglected as a child, put in the wrong schools by her parents, abused till she met this gang of hers." She stated as I looked at her in shock.

"What?" I stuttered.

"Oh don't pretend you didn't know. Look whatever excuse she gives you to stick with her, they're excuses to get your pity and that's not love is it?" she smiled at me as I felt myself getting mad. She was doing it again. Telling me all of these dark secrets, those were none of my business.

"Look, I love her." I stuttered, not meaning any of it but I felt too angry with her. I got up and left her office. I started to feel pity and remorse to what I did to Sophie. No wonder she kicked off at me when she missed that appointment with her sister because of me.

It still didn't make up for all the shit she did and how she acted, but it made me look at her in a different light, a more tolerant one. I sighed walking down the hallway as I saw Sophie clutching her cell phone. A tear ran down her cheek as I frowned.

"Rosie." she croaked out as she sniffed whipping her tears away. The minute she noticed me, I could sense she put her walls back on.

"Sophie." I murmured as she frowned angrily. "Are you crying?" I asked her. "Okay stupid question." I thought as I could see the fire in her eyes.

"What's it to you?" she shouted pushing me with her shoulder as she walked past me.

"Soph." I yelled after her. I had never called her 'Soph' but the occasion called for it; she seemed so vulnerable while she was turning around.

"Just leave me alone!" she said as she walked away.

I sighed walking down the hall and made my way to the gym where Sophie was supposed to do her punishment/detention. I entered the room and caught her sweeping it. "Ugh- What do you want? Haven't you got anything better to do?" she stated as I pursed my lips coming closer to her. I picked up a brume and started sweeping with her. She was frowning at me. To be honest my mental self was frowning at myself too. I didn't know why I was doing this. Why I was helping her, but I couldn't help but feel sympathy for her.

She didn't have anyone in the world, was probably betrayed by anyone she trusted. You'd be cranky too if it happened to you.

"What are you doing?" she asked me skeptically as I sighed.

"Look you're obviously upset and I-" I stated shakily as she cut me off.

"And what? You suddenly feel guilty and to ease that guilt you've come to help me?" she scoffed at me as I looked at the ground. I knew she was kind of right. I did pity her, but most of all I started understanding why she was how she was. "Wow no come back ay?" she stated as I just started sweeping. "Why are you being nice to me?" she asked me as I shrugged.

"I don't know, you were upset and well- I suppose everyone deserves a second chance." I stated as she furrowed her brows, confused to what I was telling her.

"What the fuck are you on about?" she hissed as I sighed.

"Why do you need to be so hostile all the freaking time?" I asked her as she was taken aback.

"I'm not hostile, I just want people to stay out of my way." she stated as I snorted. "Look I haven't asked you anything so why don't you just leave me be?" she stated as I shrugged.

"Can't we just call it even." I said to her as she frowned. "Look we didn't get off on the right foot, I realize that, but you need me to get out of here so can we at least be civilized about it? It's bad enough you're blackmailing me, but wouldn't your plan work better if it'd be like- I don't know, co-operative?" I stated as she frowned.

"You would've never helped me if I just asked you, you had your judgments set in stone from the first day you saw me." she stated. She was right, I did have prejudice concerning Sophie; they weren't entirely wrong, but she couldn't be all bad if Goose and Mac could like her.

"I know, that's why I'm saying, can we call it a day on the pranking and fighting?" I asked as she pursed her lips.

"Why would we do that?" she asked me as I shrugged.

"I just can't be bothered. My audition with the Royal Ballet is coming up, I just- I can't be bothered with pranking you and be on guard for yours." I stated as she smirked nodding.

"Oh so this is about you." she stated as I sighed.

"Please." I pleaded with her as she rolled her eyes.

"Fine." she mumbled as I smiled gratefully. "Had enough detentions for one month anyways." she smirked as I smiled back at her.

"Well it was pretty funny how you got them." I said to her as she couldn't suppress her smile.

"The head lady's face _was_ priceless wasn't it?" she chuckled as I giggled quietly.

"Yes it was." I stated remembering her furious but still embarrassed red face.

"When's your audition?" she asked me as looked up smiling.

"In 3 days." I stated as she got all the dirt in one corner.

"You nervous?" she asked as I felt the knot that had been there for days stir again. God I was so nervous I could pass out. I nodded as she smiled. "Well I'm sure you'll be okay." she smiled as I nodded.

"Let's hope so, if I don't pass those I can't enter a ballet company and I'd have to work for my mum, in accounting." I mumbled as Sophie looked at me frowning.

"Really?" she said to me as I nodded.

"Really, she's a right cow about it." I stated as she smiled sympathetically.

"I'm sorry, let's hope you do good hu." she stated as I breathed in shakily.

"Yeah." I breathed as she put the brumes away.

…

Today was the big day. I was putting on my make-up shakily that morning. I looked to my side and saw Sophie walk in the bathroom smiling. "Good luck today." she murmured passing by me. I was glad I patched things up with Sophie. Funny how life could be so much easier, when you weren't trying so hard to hate someone.

"You gonna go watch your girlfriend's performance?" someone asked Sophie as she turned around.

"Uhm- I uhh." she stuttered as I smirked.

"If she has the time." I stated raising an eyebrow. She chuckled and nodded.

"Alright well since I have to." she said as she walked in the cubicle and turned on the shower.

"You better." I smirked. I smiled at myself as Mac came over to me.

"You two are actually really cute together." she said as I was frowning mentally.

"Oh- yeah thanks." I smiled weakly. As I was walking to my room I was overwhelmed by my thoughts. "Wait a minute, was I just flirting with Sophie?" I asked myself as I closed the door behind me.

"What the fuck Sian." I muttered to myself. I mean it was just a game, just pretences. Why the hell would I be flirting with her? I brushed off my thoughts and made my way downstairs.

I couldn't eat anything off my plate. "Come on Sian, you gotta eat. You won't have any strength." Goose said to me as I sighed playing with the food on my plate.

"Yeah I know." I mumbled as Sophie sat next to me.

"Hi." she smiled as I smiled back at her.

"There is something different bout you two." Goose said furrowing his brows. "I can't put my finger on it though." he stated as I chuckled nervously.

"Oh! Did you get laid Sianie?" he said as I choked on my orange juice.

"No! and it's none of your business." I said defensively as he smirked.

"Well something has gotten you two in a better, I don't know chemistry?" he murmured as Sophie put her hand on mine.

"We've just had a good week ay babe." she said making my stomach flip. I freaked out and got up quickly. "Yeah, right." I said shakily and got up leaving the dining room quickly.

…

**Sophie**

"What has gotten into Sian?" Mac chuckled as I frowned. What had gotten into her, I was only keeping up appearances. It's not like I kissed her or anything.

"She's probably just nervous bout her audition." Goose stated as I agreed.

"Yeah." I said smiling.

After I finished my philosophy class I made my way down to the east wing, dancing wing like we called it. Goose stood there talking to some girls as I smiled at him. "Hey." I said to him as he walked over to me.

"Hey- You're just in time. Sian's almost up." he said as I smiled. We made our way outside the theatre as we looked through the peeping whole, Goose found. Sian introduced herself and said what she was going to dance.

"Is it a hard dance?" I asked him as he looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"I think so, she wanted to do a different piece, but her teachers said that would be not ambitious enough." he stated as I frowned. "Yanno the nutcracker." he stated as I furrowed my brows. "She didn't tell you?" he asked as I stuttered.

"No she did, I just thought she might do it anyways." I stated as he furrowed his brows.

"Well no apparently not, she's doing the dying swan." he stated pointing at the piece that had already started. Sian was moving her arms in a way it looked like a bird. She looked quite beautiful and graceful. I couldn't keep my eyes of her.

"She's mesmerizing isn't she." he stated snapping me back to him.

"Yeah." I breathed. 2 minutes in the performance I saw the jury looking up at the ceiling. What the fuck were they doing? "What are they…"I started saying as I was cut off by a spotlight that broke down and fell on the stage. My eyes widened immediately. "Shit." I cursed as I entered the theatre noticing Sian was lying on the ground.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

**Sophie**

"Ms. Powers." a jury member said anxiously getting up from his seat. "Please let her be okay." Flashed through my mind. I was taken aback from my own thoughts as I walked to the front of the theatre looking for Sian's eyes.

One of her mates got to her as she was clutching her head. "Young lady and you too young man, you can't be in here." one of the jury members said to us as I just kept on walking.

"Is she okay? What the hell happened?" Goose asked me as I was looking up from where the spotlight fell down from.

"I don't know." I mumbled.

….

They got Sian to the hospital as her head was bleeding. "You wanna follow them in my car?" Goose asked me as I hesitated. It wasn't really my place to be, I mean everybody else might've thought me and Sian were together, but in reality we weren't.

"I don't know, it's not really my place." I stated shuffling awkwardly as he frowned.

"What do you mean?" he asked me as I stuttered slightly.

"Well I- I- Goose look I just I don't like hospitals." I came out with. I honestly didn't, but that wasn't the main reason why I wouldn't go.

"Come on Soph, she's you're girlfriend, don't you wanna be there for her? See if she's alright?" he asked me as I sighed. I was supposed to; I knew that, deep down I think I did.

"I guess." I mumbled as he nudged me.

"Come on let's go, I bet she'll want to see you." he stated as I sighed.

"I doubt it." I thought as I pursed my lips and nodded. "Alright." I muttered as he smiled at me leading me to my car.

I got into the car and fiddled with my shirt. As we started driving he put on the radio and a song burst through.

"_Crack that whip give the past a slip step on a crack break your momma's back  
>when a problem comes along you must whip it."<em>

I chuckled at the song that burst through as I remembered me and Rosie dancing to this song many years ago.

…

"_When a problem comes along you must whip it!" We both sang as we giggled. We were dancing around the living room with those silly red hats on making a whipping movement every time the words 'whip it' burst through. _

"_Girls will you turn it down please." mum told us as we just giggled and Rosie rolled her eyes. _

"_Oh mum try to have a little fun sometimes, you might like it." she stated as I giggled making my mum frown. _

"_Fine." she said putting on a red hat and joining us._

…

"She's gonna be okay you know." I heard Goose say as I looked at him.

"Yeah I know." I smiled as he chuckled.

"You don't have to hide it you know, I know you're worried you've been starring outside the window, with the same look on your face for over 10 minutes now." he stated as I felt self-conscious. I didn't realize the memory had sucked me back into the past for that long.

"I'm okay." I said as he nodded.

"We're here." he stated as he searched for a parking spot. As we got out and made our way inside, I felt myself getting anxious. I really wasn't lying when I said I didn't like hospitals. "You okay?" he said as I nodded. "Here we are." he mumbled as we arrived at the reception. "Hi… uhm we're looking for our friend, she was just brought in- uhm Sian Powers?" he asked as she looked into her computer.

"Right your friend was submitted to the E.R., you can go wait in that waiting room." she smiled pointing us on the map where we were supposed to go. After we finally found the E.R's waiting room, there was nothing left to do but wait for someone to give us any sign of Sian.

"Do they even know we're here?" Goose muttered angrily after a half an hour.

"We've only been here for 30 minutes, these things normally take longer. We'll probably be here for a while." I stated as he huffed.

"Great." he muttered as I smiled at him.

"Here let's play some spades ay." I stated taking out a pack of cards that were in my purse.

"You always carry around a pack of playing cards?" he smirked as I shrugged.

"Me and my friends used to play often, especially when we had to wait." I stated as he chuckled.

"Spend a lot of time in hospitals have ya?" he joked as I looked down.

"More than I liked." I thought as he scrunched up his face.

"Oh, sorry didn't realize." he said as I smiled.

"You deal first." I stated handing him the pack.

…

"How do you win all the freaking time?" he screeched as I chuckled.

"I haven't won every time." I mumbled as I saw Janet walking into the E.R. Goose must've followed my gaze as he stood up and made his way over to her.

"Hi." I heard him say as I sighed. I stood up and joined him.

"Hey Mrs. Powers." I greeted her as she didn't look at me.

"Have you heard anything?" she asked Goose as he shook his head.

"Well we're not family so we're not allowed any information." he stated as she nodded.

"Right well uhm… I'll just go check then." she stated nervously as she walked off.

**Sian**

I woke up still to a white ceiling as I looked around groggily trying to figure out where I was.

"Hospital, okay why- OH shit, the fucking spotlight." I thought as the memory of my audition came flashing through. "SHIT." I breathed hurting my throat in the process. I must've been here for a while, cause my voice sounded really hoarse. A nurse came into my room to check up on me I supposed as she smiled.

"Aah I see someone's awake." she smiled. "No shit Sherlock." I thought as I lied back down. I couldn't believe my audition got fucked up. What the hell had happened? Suddenly I felt a rush of fear hit my body. I lifted the covers looking for signs of plasters, bandages. If I had an injury, I couldn't audition for the Royal Ballet, if they'd even let me after this. They'd have to right? What happened wasn't my fault. I was panicking badly as I addressed the nurse that was obviously taking care of things in my room.

"Uhm excuse me." I said with a raspy voice. "What happened?" I asked her as she smiled.

"You had an accident on stage, a spotlight fell down on the stage making you slip. You fell down on your head badly and some of the glass shards cut your skin." She stated as I gasped.

"But I'll be fine to dance again in a couple of days right?" I asked her shakily as she smiled.

"I'm not sure, you've had a bad hit to your head and the cuts on your leg- we'll let the doctor decide things yeah." she smiled as I panicked.

"Wait! What do you mean you're not sure? What's the worst case scenario." I asked her as she fiddled uncomfortably.

"I'm not authorized to tell you that, look the doctor will be with you in an hour, he'll tell you everything." she stated as I swear I was hyperventilating. "Calm down Miss." she stated as I looked at her furiously.

"Don't tell me what to do!" I screamed at her. I knew I was making a scene, but I wasn't sure what would happen. What if I didn't recover on time, or by the end of the year? I wouldn't be able to dance anymore. Thoughts were running through my mind as I heard a knock on my door.

My mother came through the door as I almost started crying. "Awwh Sian." she said coming to my bedside. "What's going on? I heard you screaming." she asked me as I felt a tear run down my cheek. "Baby." she muttered rubbing my back.

"Mum, ballet- what if-" I stuttered as her gaze changed.

"Don't worry 'bout that now, worry about getting better yeah." she said as I frowned.  
>"Yeah well I didn't expect you to care! You've never cared 'bout ballet. You would love it if I couldn't dance anymore wouldn't you?" I uttered as she frowned.<p>

"Sian, all I want for you is to be safe and healthy alright?" she stated as I snorted at her.

"All you want mum, is to live the life you pictured for me." I said shrugging her off as she sighed.

"Just calm down sweetheart, we haven't even heard what the doctor will say yet." she stated as I looked down. "Why don't I let your friends in? That way you can give them a bit of peace of mind and you can calm down yeah?" she stated as I frowned.

"My friends?" I murmured as she stood up.

"I'll go get them." she stated walking out of the room.

"You'll be pleased to see her." the nurse said as I frowned.

"What?" I snapped at her as she pursed her lips.

"Your mother mentioned your girlfriend was here too." she smiled as it hit me.

"Sophie." I whispered.

They came in along with my mother. "I'll leave you to it." she stated as I smiled awkwardly. I didn't really expect Sophie to be here. I thought she wouldn't have bothered to come.

"Hey." I said as she smiled.

"Hi." she said to me as I could see Goose roll his eyes.

"Guys I know you don't believe in public affection, but seriously, I know you're dying to kiss each other so just freaking do it." he stated as I smiled awkwardly.  
>"No, I don't feel so good." I stated as Sophie pursed her lips.<p>

"Yeah." she said as an awkward silence filled the room.

"So do you know who did it yet?" Goose said breaking the silence.

"What do you mean?" I said furrowing my brows as he blinked.

"They didn't tell you?" he asked me as I shrugged.

"It wasn't an accident, the spotlight?" he stated as my eyes grew wide.

"What." I stuttered as he sighed.  
>"Apparently someone played with equipment, I don't know, wanting to prank someone or summit." he stated as a scenario flashed through my mind, but it couldn't be. Why would she do that? She couldn't have. But then again I didn't see her before my performance, she wasn't there. But who else would've done that?<p>

"The prank obviously went wrong." he stated raising his eyebrows.

…

"I'm gonna go get something to drink okay." Goose stated leaving the room as Sophie smiled at me. The minute Goose left the room I shuffled away from her as she looked at the ground.

"How can you even be here?" I hissed at her as she looked up frowning.

"It would've been weird if I didn't come and see my girlfriend in the hospital Sian." she stated as I huffed.

"That's not what I'm fucking on about, I mean seriously, the previous pranks were embarrassing but why would you do this? I could've - my God Sophie! - I could've gotten hurt badly. I still don't know if I'll be able to re-audition for the Royal Ballet." I hissed. I was so angry I could've strangled her.

"Hold on, wait! You think I did this?" she said looking at me in disbelief.

"Oh don't lie." I snapped at her as she stood up angrily.

"I didn't!" she shouted at me as I shook my head on the verge of tears.

"I thought we were done making each other's lives miserable?" I whimpered as she sat on the edge of the bed.

"We were." she squealed, but I didn't believe her.

"Who else then Sophie! Who else could've done it? And why? You're the only one I know that would do something like this." I stated as she screeched.

"What! Sian I swear I didn't do this." she tried saying as I looked away and snorted.

"Well the deal's off by the way." I stated. I didn't care if my mother saw that video, if I couldn't dance by the end of next week, my life was over anyways.

"What? What do you mean?" she said squeezing my hand.

"You fucking ruined my life!" I shouted at her as Goose came in frowning.  
>"You okay? What's going on?" he asked.<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

**Sophie**

What the fuck she's blaming me? "Are you okay? What's going on?" Goose said entering as I let go of Sian's hand.

"Sophie." he said sternly as I looked away.

"Nothing." I muttered as I could feel him frowning.

"Fine, Sian you gonna tell me?" he said sounding annoyed as I sighed hearing Sian stutter.

"Look Goose, not to be rude but this is none of your business." I stated as Sian flashed me a look. She looked at me with so much anger, if her eyes could've killed me I'm pretty sure there'd be a dead body in this room.  
>"Look, Goose we - I just had enough." Sian spat as I looked at her frowning.<p>

"Wait, what do you mean?" he asked as he sat down smiling at her.

"We haven't been entirely honest with you." she started as I cut her off.

"Sian what are you doing?" I asked her as she huffed.

"I don't care what you do with the video Sophie, my life is ruined anyways." she stated as I mouthed "what?"

"Sian seriously, what has gotten into you? You had a bump to your head and a couple of cuts and bruises, you'll be able to dance in no time. The jury is gonna take this into consideration, they have to." I said to her as she snorted.

"How would you know?" she muttered angrily.

"I know plenty! For fuck sakes, get a grip!" I shouted at her as I got off the bed plunging myself in the chair next to the bed.

"I don't know what's going on, but could someone please tell me? What video?" Goose said as I sighed closing my eyes.  
>"Sophie has a video of me, of that drunken night I well, yanno bout my mum." she stated as he nodded.<p>

"What's your point?" he asked her as she sighed.

"She's blackmailing me Goose, open your fucking eyes." She stated as he looked at me wide-eyed.

"What?!" he squealed as I sighed. "Wait, she's lying right?" he asked me as I shook my head frowning.

"What? I needed to get out of here, and she seemed like the best option to help me with that." I stated as he frowned.

"I don't understand, how?" he stuttered.

"Being Sian's boyfriend gets you a bigger chance on expulsion right?" I stated as he frowned at me. He sat down running his hands through his hair remembering what he told me that night.

"So all this time, you've been faking it?" he asked as I pursed my lips.

"Yeah." Sian answered. "But it's over now." she stated as I sighed feeling helpless.

"Right." he muttered as I got up.

"I suppose I'll just go then." I stated as she looked at me and huffed.

"Well better late than never ay." Sian spat as it felt like a knife was slowly cutting in my stomach. I didn't know why her comments bothered me so much. Maybe I just didn't like getting falsely accused. I sighed leaving the room as I went to sit outside.

As I took in the fresh air I sat down on a bench. Looking upon my surroundings, I had a feeling of déjà vu.

…

"_Sophie." I heard someone say behind me as I inhaled the cigarette smoke. "Soph." she said putting her hand on my shoulder as I turned around sighing. "Yeah." I mumbled as she sat down next to me. "It's over." she said on the verge of tears as I felt a lump of my own growing in the back of my throat. _

"_What did they say." I whimpered trying to hold in the tears.  
>"It was the bullet." she<br>stated as I sighed putting my head in my hands. "It's not your fault yanno." she said rubbing my back. "We shouldn't have used her, she'd still be here if we hadn't." I sniffed as she hugged me tight.  
>"At the time it seemed harmless." She said sighing as I scoffed at her. "You'll have to be on the witness stand." she stated kissing my head as I nodded.<br>"I know." I whispered._

…

I sniffed as I searched for a pack of cigarettes in my bag. I quit months ago, but I just needed one now. I couldn't find one in my bag naturally. I sighed defeated. I really did hate hospitals; there was always something that got fucked up while I was here. "Fuck sakes." I muttered sighing.

I leaned back letting my eyelids fall closed.

"_Soph." someone mumbled as I felt a sheet on me, I turned around and saw her lying next to me. "Hey." I smiled as she stroked my arms.  
>"Are you okay?" she asked me as I nodded.<br>"Yeah perfect." I stated as she cuddled into me.  
>"You're so warm, and comfy." she said making me chuckle.<br>"Well you just make me really hot." I smirked as she lifted her head and smiled.  
>"I sure do hu." she grinned cockily. "You have no idea how long I've waited to see you again." she whispered as I nodded.<br>"Yeah I know what you mean." I said hugging her as I breathed in her smell of her brown hair. _

"_Soph…sophie…_SOPHIE." someone nudged me as I jumped up.  
>"What." I said opening my eyes and felt the bench digging in my back. "Goose?" I said bewildered.<p>

"Hey." he smiled sitting next to me. "I just thought I'd come by and check up on you." he stated as I nodded.

"Yeah well here I am." I stated as he chuckled.

"Sorry didn't realize you were sleeping, how can you even sleep on a bench?" he asked me as I shrugged. "You okay?" he asked me as I nodded.

"Yeah just a weird dream I suppose." I stated as he smiled.

"What was it about?" he asked me as I shrugged.

"Pink elephants." I chuckled as he knew I was lying. A weird dream it was, I dreamt about a girl, I couldn't remember who though.

"_Weird fucking fluffy dream." I thought. _

"Look I need to ask." he said as I sighed.

"What is it?" I asked him.

"I know you've been pretending with Sian, but lately and I swear I'm not saying this to wind you up, but you just have this chemistry. I could've sworn that yanno." he started babbling as I rolled my eyes.

"What's your point?" I huffed as he sighed.

"Do you like her?" he asked me as I shifted uncomfortably.

"What? What do you mean?" I said to him frowning. "I was pretending Goose, it's called acting." I stated as he smirked.

"Well, I don't believe you." he stated as I snorted at him.

…

_3 hours ago_

**Sian**

I saw her walk out as I felt relieved. I hated her, I truly did and it hurt so much. "Sian, I don't understand something." Goose started as I sighed.

"What, what don't you understand? I'm done helping her out." I stated as he nodded.

"Look what Sophie did, I get it alright, it was shitty." he stated as I lifted my eyebrows.

"Yeah well you can say that again." I huffed as he pursed his lips.

"I don't even understand why you went along with it." he stated as I sighed.

"Come on Goose, you know what my mum's like, if she'd seen that I was drunk, she would've expelled me on the spot. You know this." I stated as he nodded.

"So why are you finishing the 'agreement' now?" he asked as I looked at him bewildered.

"Isn't it obvious? With this injury I have nothing to lose anyways." I said with a high pitch voice as he looked at me understanding.

"Sian, your injuries aren't that bad, don't make a rash decision, she might not even show the video." he stated as I laughed.

"Are you joking? Of course she's going to show it, but she won't have a leg to stand on after what she did." I stated as he frowned at me.

"What do you mean?" he asked as I rolled my eyes at him.

"Look while we were 'together'" I said as he nodded. "We pulled pranks on each other, it was harmless yanno, she colored my hair red, vandalized my leotard and I - I messed up her presentation and stole her clothes while she was showering." I stated as his eyes widened.

"You what?" he said holding back his smile as I smirked at him.

"Look me and Sophie we- well before and during the whole fucking pretence, we weren't the best of friends." I stated as he chuckled.

"Okay." he answered.

"Well that didn't change until well a couple weeks ago, or so I thought. I guess I was wrong." I huffed crossing my arms as he looked at me confused.

"What do you mean? Sian stop fucking speaking in riddles." He moaned as I sighed.

"We called it a truce and for a while, we seemed to get along better. It seemed too good to be honest." I muttered under my breath as he raised his eyebrow. "Until today obviously." I stated as he frowned.

"So, because you're not going along with the pretences anymore, you're being a total bitch to her again?" he frowned as my eyes almost popped out of my head.

"NO of course that's not why! Oh my God can't you see the link Goose. You say someone tried to hurt me on purpose and the only person I know that would do that is Sophie." I said with a high pitch voice as he looked at me eyebrows raised, eyes wide open.

"Wait you think Sophie sabotaged you?" he said as I gave him an 'obviously' look. He started laughing as I frowned.

"Why are you laughing? My injuries could've been so much worse." I said to him angrily.

"Sian, Sophie was with me the whole time, she was practically hypnotized in by your performance." he stated as I looked him confused.

"What?" I said shakily.

"Oh you've screwed up badly man." he said chuckling as I frowned.

"But who did it then, if it wasn't her?" I said with a high pitch voice as Goose pursed his lips.  
>"I don't know." he said as his laughter died. "Look we'll find out who did it okay." he said smiling at me sympathetically as I sighed. "Shit." I thought.<p>

"Sophie didn't do it." I mumbled as he put his hand on my shoulder.  
>"No." he answered as I shut my eyes in embarrassment.<br>"What do I do now?" I asked him as he smirked.  
>"Well, start by apologizing. Deep down Soph isn't that much of bad person yanno." he stated as I recalled Sophie's softer side. I knew she wasn't all bad.<br>"Uggh." I groaned as he chuckled.

"This isn't funny yanno, I honestly thought she did it." I said quietly as he frowned.  
>"Why? It's not your style to jump to conclusions." he stated as I shrugged.<br>"I don't know." I said to him as he raised an eyebrow. "I don't, I just- I suppose it's just- I got used to hating her and- ugh." I stuttered as he smiled sympathetically.  
>"You're so used not getting along, so it was easy to get back into that routine. You're scared that you might like her for who she is- past all her bullshit." he stated as I shrugged.<p>

"I'll go get her." he said to me as I raised my head.  
>"You're right, I suppose I should apologize." I mumbled as he looked at me amused. "Ugh Shut up Goose." I said feeling guilty already.<p>

He was right, I had gotten so used to hating Sophie, I didn't see past it. I knew why I jumped to conclusions so quickly. I knew why, I just didn't want to admit it. Fucking belly flip was still freaking me out and I wanted it to stop.

….

"Hey." Sophie said as her and Goose entered my room. "Hi." I smiled awkwardly. "I'll leave you guys to it." he stated as he walked out of the room.

"I'm sorry, for jumping to conclusions." I said to her as she huffed.  
>"Yeah well who could blame you? You wouldn't expect anything less from a criminal like me." she spat as I looked down.<br>"Look, I made a mistake, I just I get crazy when dance is involved. The thought of never dancing again I just- " I felt a lump grow in the back of my throat as my eyes watered.

"Hey." she said quietly obviously seeing I was honestly upset. "Don't get so worked up over nothing Powers." she smirked as I smiled weakly. "You'll be able to dance again. And you'll be able to audition again. You can maybe do the nutcracker like you wanted to this time." she stated as I looked at her bewildered.  
>"Yeah maybe." I smiled. "I'm really sorry." I said to her as she sighed.<p>

"Yeah." she muttered.  
>"Can we, try again?" I asked her. "Please." I added. "Everyone deserves a second-" I stopped midsentence as I realized I was already on my second chance. I sighed deeply as I watched her look away.<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

**Sophie**

"…everyone deserves a second-" she stopped midsentence as I looked up. I sighed as I could see her pleading eyes looking straight through me. "Soph." she croaked out making my hands tingle. I didn't know why she had this kind of hypnotic effect on me. I needed it to stop. I snapped my head away.  
>"I hope you get better so you can be recruited for the Royal Ballet." I said to her as she smiled lightly.<p>

"Me too." she whimpered as I reached out to her.  
>"You'll be alri-" I stopped midsentence as I could see her mum looking at us through the window making me roll my eyes and sigh. "I should go, before your mum actually succeeds in staring me out of the room." I said uncomfortably as she looked at her mum frowning at her. "I'll see you at school okay." I said to her as she held on to my arm.<br>"Wait." she whispered as she leaned in freaking me out.  
>"What the hell is she playing at?" my mind screamed as I could see her lips getting closer.<p>

She kissed my cheek and stroked it as I frowned. "Mum's looking, gotta make it believable right?" she said to me as I felt my heart pounding through my chest. I'd never felt that way.  
>"What?" I asked her frowning as she pursed her lips.<br>"The deal is still on, yanno- I." she started stuttering as I interrupted her.  
>"You don't have to do it Sian, Goose knows, it won't be long till everyone else does too. So I'm done 'blackmailing' you okay? Here." I said taking out my phone and deleting the video. "Gone." I stated as smiled weakly.<br>"Thank you." she whispered. "I'd still like to help you, if you'll have me." she stated as I frowned.

"Why would you do that?" I asked her as she sighed.  
>"I misjudged you, okay?" she said fiddling with her hands. "Take it as a way for me to make amends, for having prejudices, and for accusing you." she stated brushing her fingers over my hand as I felt my cheeks burning. I breathed in shakily and nodded.<br>"Okay." I breathed as she squeezed my hand. I felt fear hit my nerves and a sudden urge to leave the room. "Uhm." I cleared my voice as I shuffled away. "Great, I'll uhm- I still got some things to do for a class so I'll uhm be going." I stuttered as she blinked.  
>"Right, I'll see you at school." she said soberly.<p>

"I should really go." I said getting up, stumbling over my own feet as she reached out for me trying to keep me balanced. "I'm alright- fine." I said quickly as I raced out of the room almost knocking over my 'mother in law' "Sorry." I blurted out as she looked at me confused. I shook my head while screwing my eyes shut, trying to get some air in my longs and common sense in my brain. My mind was properly clouded. I couldn't think straight. I really needed to get out of this hospital, I had to think properly.

….

I waited at the bus stop for a bus that was probably going to show up 30 minutes late. I sighed sitting down as it started raining. "Fucking great." I mumbled putting my cap on and my earphones in.

"_Meet me by the sea again. Past the point the shoreline bends. Where the sand is soft and warm and hangs upon your golden arm . And time won't move at all We were once the only ones. Who knew of the secret sun…"_

…

"_It's okay to love her yanno." Rosie said to me as I snorted.  
>"I don't." I told her as she raised an eyebrow.<br>"Sophie every time a love song comes on, a bit like this one, you space out." she stated as my eyes almost popped out of my head.  
>"I do not." I squealed making her chuckle.<em>

"_Look, it's fine she-" she didn't have time to answer her question cause I already got up and avoided my sister's presence. "Soph." she sighed as I rolled my eyes.  
>"Alright! But it's not love- Jesus you've been watching too many chick flicks again." I stated as she smirked. "Stop fucking smirking." I stated making her burst out in giggles.<br>"Yaaaay my little sister and-" she started singing as I groaned.  
>"Ugh Rosie!" I hissed making her laugh. <em>

…

I switched songs as this one gave me too many memories. Too painful ones.

"_Met you by surprise, I didn't realize, that my life would change forever. Saw you standing there, didn't know I care. There was something special in the air. Dreams are my reality, the only kind of…" _

I groaned loudly as I switched again finally settling on something else than love songs. Who the hells spoofed my IPod. I settled on 'Hide and seek' that went perfectly with the atmosphere of the rain. Yes I liked rain more than food; it somehow gave me a soothing feeling. The feeling the silence gave me as it filled the air and only drops could be heard. It blocked out everything else, almost everything anyways.

Unfortunately it didn't block out this strange feeling right between my ribs giving me the urge to swallow deeply, as if it would make the feeling disappear by doing so. I couldn't help but bring the origin of the feeling back to Sian. I didn't know what happened in the hospital, well except for her accusing me and then taking it back.

I sighed deeply I wasn't even sure I hadn't had this feeling before. I wasn't sure either if this feeling came as a solo artist or if it had a pre act. A feeling that crept up on me before this one appeared, a good one perhaps, but a bad one at the same time. I rubbed my temples. Now I wasn't even making sense to myself anymore. The bus arrived as I got up.

….

**Sian**

"Hiya love." my mum said entering the room as I put up a smile.  
>"Hey mum." I stated as she sat on the chair Sophie was sitting in before.<br>"I see your girlfriend left." she stated as I closed my eyes preventing her from seeing my inevitable eye roll.  
>"Yeah she did." I smiled as she nodded.<p>

"So, uhm how are you feeling." she asked me as I shrugged.  
>"Alright I guess." I mumbled. A knife could cut the tension that had settled upon us the minute she walked into this room. Why did our encounters always seem so awkward and tense? I always felt the need to walk on eggshells, whenever I was around her.<p>

"Have you heard anything from the doctor?" I asked as she raised her head looking back at me. "Uhm, well the nurse told me he'd be seeing us in about 5 minutes." she stated as I nodded.  
>"Do you know anything more than I do?" I asked her as she shook her head.<p>

"No." she smiled.  
>"What about my audition, can I redo it? Have you spoken to the people?" I asked her shakily as she smiled sympathetically.<br>"I'm not sure love." she stated as I sighed. Of course she wouldn't even try to figure anything out, she wouldn't mind- well that's an understatement. She'd be bloody ecstatic if I couldn't dance anymore.

"Mum, why- why do you hate me dancing so much? You're the headmistress of an art school, why don't you want me to walk in your footsteps?" I asked her as she sighed. I was about to push her to answer me. She never really gave me a straight answer whenever it came to that.

The doctor entered the room before I had a chance to continue. "Ah our ballet dancer." he stated as I held on to my hand, pretending it was someone else's. I needed the support of someone, anyone. "Hi." I croaked out as he smiled.

"Right, let's get down to business. We stitched up the cuts in your leg, some of them more severe than others. You'll have to stay off your left leg for 2 weeks or the stitches will tear." he stated as I gasped. "2 weeks! But, mum, the audition!" I stuttered obviously panicking. "Mum." I screeched as she put her hand on my shoulder.  
>"Let the man speak for god sakes." she stated as I looked back at the doctor that was smiling sympathetically.<p>

"Look, you're lucky you didn't have any more serious injuries to your legs. It could've been a lot worse than just 2 weeks." He stated as I nodded.  
>"2 weeks, I can handle 2 weeks, right?" I thought to myself as he continued.<p>

"Now the injuries to your head were minor as well fortunately. You've had a minor concussion so you should be fine in about 2 to 3 weeks." He said as I realized why I my room was so shady. "You'll need a lot of rest." he smiled as I nodded. "You can go home, you just need to sign these charts and you're good to go." he stated as I breathed in shakily.

….

"Here we go love." my mum said as she put my bags into my room.  
>"You never answered my questions." I stated as she sighed.<br>"Love, I don't think this is the right time to have this conversation. You've just come back from the hospital, you need to rest." she stated as I groaned.

"You always find an excuse." I said getting up a bit too quickly as pain shot to my head. "Awwh." I said clutching to my head.  
>"I don't think it's wise to get up so fast darling." she stated as I sighed.<br>"Just answer the fucking questions." I said to her as she sat down on the bed opposite to mine.

"First of all why the hell do you hate me dancing and second of all: are you even going to try to help me re-audition for the royal ballet?" I asked her as she nodded.  
>"Darling I don't mind you dancing and yes I'll do my best t-" she started reciting her bullshit again.<p>

"MUM." I almost screamed as she frowned.  
>"What do you want me to say." she screeched. =<br>"How about what you're thinking- really thinking, you hypocritical cow!" I said to her as her eyes widened.  
>"You will <em>not <em>talk to me that way young lady. Now fine, you want to know why I don't want this life for you? It's because you don't have the guts _or_ the talent to make it in this industry. I don't want you to walk into my footsteps, because they're too big for you to fill." She said cutting me with her words.

"Why are you so hard on me? Why? You're not like this with the others, so why me?" I asked her with a high pitched voice as she rolled her eyes.  
>"You're my daughter; I have to be. I want you to learn your lesson early. Life is full of disappointments. I got lucky with this position, but you- you'll never make it in this world. Not as a dancer, not as anything." She stated making me teary eyed as a massive lump was forming in the back of my throat.<p>

"See, you're too weak." she spat as the tears rolled down from my cheeks. "I think if you'd get out now, while you still can, it would be good for you. You'd be able to still make something of yourself." she stated as I wiped away my tears only to have new ones replace them.

"Believe it or not, I'm doing this for your own good. This world isn't made for everybody." she stated as I started sobbing. "You get hurt and heartbroken too quickly, you have no backbone. I don't want you to live your life full of that." she said as I didn't look at her. She sighed deeply as she got up.

"I'll leave you to rest now, Sian I'm sorry you had to hear this now, but remember you asked for it. I'm only giving you the confirmation of what you've always known: You're not strong or good enough." she stated walking out of my room.

I curled up into a ball clutching on to my pillow as I sobbed. I knew what she thought of me, but hearing it actually made it worse.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

**Sophie**

I was walking down the hallway heading for the music room. It had become some sort of ritual lately. If I didn't know any better, I was starting to enjoy myself here. I had been angry for such a long time, maybe this is what I needed.

I rolled my eyes at myself as I entered the music room and picked up my yellow ukulele. I started stroking the strings as I smiled. I had always loved this cheerful instrument. This is how I started out with music, first the guitar, then piano, then trumpet, then ukulele and then well- it got tucked away in the shades after I joined 'them'. I could still DJ, but somehow it didn't give me as much satisfaction as playing, inventing pieces with a raw instrument.

I started playing, improvising a bit. Letting the chords hit through me, through my mind. Good music could make your toes curl, get you all excited- so excited you had to jump up and down, because your bones seemed to be tickling too much. "If I did happen to enjoy it though, why was I still having Sian as my fake girlfriend? Why would I need-" I started thinking as I heard a knock on the door.

I stopped playing as I heard the door creak. I looked up and saw a picture of blonde hair and a flushed face standing in the doorway. "Hey." I said quietly, a bit confused to why she was looking at me. She smiled lightly, her eyes were red as if she hadn't slept in days. "You alright?" I asked her frowning as she smiled and nodded.  
>"Yeah fine." she said as she wobbled with her crutches over to me.<p>

I helped her sit down as she smiled gratefully "It's been awhile, I was starting to wonder if you were alive." I stated as she chuckled.  
>"I needed to rest remember? I feel better now though." she stated as I nodded. A comfortable silence filled the room as her eyes wandered down to the instrument that was laying in my lap.<p>

She looked at my ukulele as I let my fingers stroke it. "I didn't know you played." she said to me as I shrugged.  
>"Well I am a music major, I didn't just get in cause of my good looks yanno." I told her smirking as she chuckled.<br>"Really? Could've fooled me." she chuckled as I slapped her arm.  
>"Alright so I didn't exactly get in on my raw talent." I smirked. "They thought this place would 'save' me' I laughed as she smiled at me.<p>

"Yeah well, sometimes people don't need to be saved even if everyone else thinks they do." she said to me as I inhaled deeply. I couldn't put my finger on what she was doing to me. I mean I didn't dislike her like I did in the beginning- this was just ridiculous.

"So you gonna play me a Hawaiian ballad then?" she smirked as I laughed.  
>"What would you like to hear?" I asked her as she scrunched up her face.<br>"I don't really know any Hawaiian songs." she said trying to hold back the smile that was hiding under her lips. I chuckled as she raised her hands. "The only thing I know is how to say hello and thank you lol." she said as I smiled. I normally would've rolled my eyes at someone that said LOL out loud, but somehow she worked her charm around that.

"Okay I can work with that." I told her. "So hello is-" I started the sentence as she finished.  
>" Aloha and thank you is mahalo." she told me making me laugh.<br>"Alright I guess I know a song with that one." I said to her as she sniggered.

I started hitting the chords as the song filled the room. She frowned slightly as I smirked. "Hey isn't that- wait I know it! It's the song from Lilo and Stitch." she said excited.  
>"If this were a text conversation my face would've taken the form of a whale face." I thought remembering her lol comment.<p>

"It's not really famous cause of a cartoon yanno." I said to her as she shrugged.  
>"Well I know it because of that." she stated as I chuckled.<br>"Right." I muttered as she nudged me.  
>"Don't make fun of me." she said as I smiled and shook my head.<p>

"Course not." I chuckled as she got up taking hold of her crutches.  
>"Come on we're gonna be late for class." she stated as I followed her out of the room.<p>

…

"Right class settle down." Miss Cartwright shouted clapping her hands as a couple of people shut up. "Right So you all know the annual school trip is coming up." She stated as I could hear a couple people cheer and I noticed everyone's face lit up. "Alright, this must be good then." I thought to myself smirking.

"This year we're going to Manchester." she stated as fear hit my heart and my face dropped. "First stop on our trip is the Manchester Art gallery-" She started off as I breathed in shakily. "Manchester." I thought as I gulped.

…

"_I swear I had nothing to do with it." I almost cried as they spit on me. "Why are you doing this?" I cried as the shoved me backwards.  
>"You betrayed us Soph! You fucking helped them!" he shouted at me as I sobbed.<br>"I didn't." I wept as he snorted.  
>"Look I understand you were mad because of Cara and you might've wanted out, but this was not the way to do it." He spat as I panicked.<br>"So what now then ay!" I shouted at him as his mates flung at me, taking hold of my arms.  
>"You're lucky I don't bash that pretty little face of yours right now." He said grinding his teeth.<br>"Why aren't you?" I asked him breathing heavily.  
>"Because we once loved you, as part of our family, but now- I never want to see your face here ever again." He said turning his gaze away from mine. "And if I do, I won't treat you with the same grace I have now." he stated as I felt tears prickling my eyes. <em>

…

My teeth started chattering and I breathed shakily as I remembered my last encounter in Manchester. I raised my hand interrupting Cartwright from her speech.

"It'll take us 3 hours to get there and be sure to take a lunch- uhh yes Ms. Webster?" she asked me as she frowned.  
>"Is the attendance mandatory?" I asked her as she frowned. Her frown turned into a laugh.<br>"You're joking surely? Yes, Ms. Webster, you're obliged to tag along; not attending this would be ridiculous." she chuckled as I breathed deeply.

…

"Hey Soph." Goose said sitting down in front of me as Mac followed him.  
>"You heard about the school trip? It's gonna be wizzi bangalicious." she said quirky as I looked at Goose wide-eyed.<br>"She means great." he chuckled as I nodded.  
>"Right, great." I muttered as I could see a frown forming.<br>"Hey." a voice behind me said cheery. Sian sat down next to me as she smiled widely. "Have you heard about-" she started saying as I sighed. "Man-chester." she said slowly finishing her sentence. "You alright?" she asked me as I pursed my lips and nodded.

"Fine." I mumbled as she placed her hand on my shoulder.  
>"Soph." she murmured as I cleared my voice and smiled.<br>"Sorry just in my own thoughts." I stated as she mimicked my smile.  
>"It's gonna be amazing, have you heard about the dance performances we'll see? Plus OLIVER flaming TWIST." Mac shouted excited as they chuckled.<br>"Yeah." I nodded as she frowned.

"Why you not excited?" she said almost pouting.  
>"Oh, no reason I uhh- I've just seen it all before that's all, I'm a bit disappointed I'll get to see similar things." I said to her as she frowned.<br>"Well maybe there will be new things." She stated as I chuckled.  
>"I doubt it." I muttered as she started to be angry.<br>"Don't rain on my paraaaade." she started singing as she got up and started singing the chords.

"What the hell has gotten into her?" I asked Goose as we saw Mac dancing out of the dining room. "She's just excited." he stated as Sian smiled.  
>"Right." I mumbled.<br>"When did you see Manchester?" Sian asked me as I cleared my voice.  
>"Uhm-I lived there, since I was 7, I moved 6 months ago." I stated as their faces lit up.<br>"Really? Oh well then you can show us around now can't you?" Goose stated as I chuckled.

"Yeah I don't know if I'm gonna go." I stated as Sian pouted.  
>"Oh come on Soph, I could use a guide, I'm always the girl that ends up taking a wrong turn and ends up in a dead alley." she stated as my eyes widened.<br>"Don't do that in Manchester, not all people are kind enough to greet you with directions, I mean others- well others will greet you with other things." I muttered as they looked at me confused. Sian was still giving me puppy dog eyes. God for some reason it was making me die inside. I wanted her to stop looking so damn- whatever she was looking like. "Alright." I almost snapped as she smiled.

"Yay." she said quietly as we continued to eat our lunch.

"So you guys going to the barn tonight?" Goose asked me as I shrugged.  
>"Uhm I don't know, maybe." I stated.<br>"What bout you Sian?" he asked me as she chuckled.  
>"Well I'll go, if someone can guarantee they won't get me on tape while I'm drunk." she said obviously pointing her finger at me. I smiled at her.<br>"Well if you try not to make a fool out of yourself, I might not even be bothered." I stated as she crunched up her face and nudged me.

…

**Sian**

I was hopping down the hallway trying to coordinate holding my backpack and walking with crutches at the same time. I stumbled into my dance class as everyone gave me a funny look. "Sian, dear what are you doing here?" Mrs. Dubois asked me.  
>"Uhm, well I thought, even though I can't yanno dance, I could watch?" I asked carefully as she sighed and took me to the side.<br>"Your mother told me you needed to rest." she stated as I groaned.  
>"It's been a week already, I feel fine. I've been attending all of my classes again, please- just let me watch." I pleaded as she pursed her lips.<p>

"Alright." she side as I smiled gratefully.

I sat down and watched them all dance in pairs. "I heard you had a bit of an 'accident'" Alison said standing next to me, obviously waiting for her next turn.  
>"Naff off, Alli." I huffed at her as she looked at me amused.<br>"Awwh is someone a bit bitter that she won't get into the Royal Ballet?" she asked patronizing me as I clenched my teeth.  
>"Who says I'm not gonna get it? My audition was sabotaged, I'm pretty sure they'll let me do it again." I stated as she smirked.<p>

"You sure of that Powers? Don't think mummy dearest won't make you stumble on your way to success, because she will. It's her chance, right? she asked slowly as I gulped. As much as I despised Alison, she was one of the few people that knew how my mother was really like. I got up and faced her.  
>"I won't let my mother make me stumble, I'll just hop right over her leg." I said huffing at her as she chuckled.<p>

"I'm sure she will little girl." she stated as I could feel my blood boiling.

…

After what happened in class today I could use a couple of drinks I decided to go to the barn after all. When I arrived, the party was already going. I tried looking for familiar faces but couldn't find any, so I hit the bar.

"Hi, could I have a shot please?" I asked smiling as she nodded.  
>"What kind?" she asked as I shrugged.<br>"Any kind, I just need to get wasted tonight." I stated as she chuckled.  
>"Rough day?" she asked.<br>"You could say that." I told her as she raised an eyebrow.  
>"I think someone is trying to get your attention." she stated pointing behind me as I did find a familiar face.<p>

I saw Sophie standing there waving at me. She was obviously already out of it which made me chuckle. "You know her?" the girl asked me as I nodded. "Lucky, she's hot." she stated as I suddenly felt self-conscious and downed my drink.  
>"Another please." I said to her as she obliged my wishes.<p>

"Hi baaabe." Sophie said emphasizing the word babe.  
>"Hey." I giggled as she pointed at Mac who was dancing on the dance floor.<br>"What you think? Will she make it into the Royal Ballet?" she asked with a mocking tone as I frowned.  
>"That's not funny." I muttered as I turned back to the bar.<p>

"I didn't mean it like that." she said smiling at me as I nodded.  
>"Yeah." I breathed.<br>"Have you heard anything from them?" she asked me as I felt a lump grow in the back of my throat. "What do you think?" I said almost whimpering. Sophie must've noticed I was upset and took me to the bathroom. I stumbled onto the sink as one of my crutches slipped. I held on to the sink shakily as I composed myself. Sophie picked up my crutch and gave it to me.

"Sorry, didn't mean to get you all upset." she smirked as I tried to get myself together. "Why are you so worried about it? You're mum is the school headmistress, you'll be fine." she stated as I snorted.  
>"You don't know the first thing about my mum." I huffed at her as she looked at me sympathetically. "Look I know she's harder on you, more than she is on anyone else, but that because she wants you to be great." she stated as I frowned.<p>

"Do you have a sudden memory loss or do I need to remind you of her 'plans' for my future?" I snapped as she took a step back.  
>"No, sorry- I was only trying to cheer you up." She mumbled as I felt guilty.<br>"No, _I'm_ sorry I didn't mean to snap like that, it's just- when I talk about my mum it's-"I started saying as I breathed in shakily.  
>"A soar subject, I get it." she finished my sentence for me as I couldn't control myself. I let the tears drip down my cheeks as Sophie frowned.<p>

"You're not gonna get all girly on me?" she asked and then sighed after the first couple of tears reached my chin. She pulled me into a hug. "Sian what happened? I've never seen you this upset about your mum. I mean she's a right cow, but you've never started crying like this." she stated as I sobbed remembering everything my mother told me. I rested my head on her shoulder as she stroked the back of my neck.

"She just broke me." I breathed as she looked at me confused.  
>"What?" she murmured.<br>"When I came back from the hospital, I wanted to know why she didn't want me dancing and I uhh- ugh- look let's just say she wasn't very graceful about how she told me her reasons alright? It just upsets me." I stated wiping away the tears as she nodded.

"You want to talk about it?" she asked as I shook my head.  
>"No, I'll just get snottier." I said to her as I chuckled. She smiled at me as she stroked my cheek, wimping my tears.<br>"Don't cry, she's not worth your tears." she almost whispered. I felt my heart's pace fasten as I gulped at her touch. I was drowning in her icy blue eyes. What the hell was happening to me?

I couldn't help but feel the belly flopping and the heart skipping. This feeling was overwhelming. I frowned mentally. "Was this what I thought it was? Even though I had never actually felt like this, like mice were waddling from my stomach to my throat, tickling me, I had read about this kind of feelings in books, heard of it from others." I thought as I leaned in carefully, looking into her eyes searching for a sign of rejection. I couldn't find any. I knew what I was about to do was going to change a couple of things, but I needed to know if this feeling was true. I need to know, I would regret it if I didn't do this.

I leaned in a bit more making our noses touch as I felt her breath on my lips.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

I felt her breath on my lips as I took one more step closer to her and her lips brushed over mine. I kissed her as she kissed me back, breathing in deeply. She cupped my face as the kiss got more passionate. I brushed my tongue on her bottom lip asking for permission as she opened her mouth letting my tongue slide inside. She picked me up and put me on the sink kissing me feverishly as her hands roamed my body. I tangled my hands in her hair as I felt my stomach doing the gymnastic Olympics, flipping over and flipping again.

I couldn't breathe it was like she took everything with one kiss.

"Hey why is this- oh I get it." I girl slurred as we jumped apart. "Lesbians in here." she giggled stumbling over her own feet. I looked at Sophie who seemed terrified. She backed away from me a little as the girl got out of the bathroom.

"Soph." I whispered as she seemed lost for words.  
>"I uhm- I should- I can't do this." she said breathlessly as she raced out of the bathroom.<br>"Sophie!" I yelled after her as I tried to get to my crutches as fast as possible. I quickly hopped out of the bathroom as I could see her leaving the barn.

"Sian what's-" Goose tried stopping me as I snatched myself away from him.  
>"Not now." I snapped at him as I followed her as fast as my own 2 well one foot could carry me. When I got outside it was raining cats and dogs.<p>

"Shit." I mumbled as I saw her walk through the rain. "Sophie!" I yelled after her but she wouldn't stop. "Fucking hell." I said irritated as I followed her in the pouring rain.

"Will you at least have the decency to stop and face me?" I snapped at her as she halted and turned around. I hopped over to her and sighed. "Jesus you really know how to make an exit, don't you?" I said to her as she looked down.  
>"What do you want?" she mumbled quietly as I frowned.<p>

"To talk about- well whatever happened back there." I stated as she looked me right in the eyes this time. Her eyes were red and swollen. "Have you been crying?" I asked taking a step closer to her as I touched her arm. She flinched quickly as more confusion hit me. "What's wrong?" I asked her.

"Just stay away from me." she snapped as I furrowed my brows.  
>"Look this doesn't mean you're gay or that I'm gay." I started saying as she laughed.<br>"I _am_ gay Sian." she stated as I looked at her wide-eyed.  
>"What?" I stuttered as she clenched her teeth.<br>"I'm gay! I just don't want anything to do with you." she said cutting me like a knife.

"Sophie." I said trying to reason with her as she backed away from me.  
>"I don't want this, just leave me alone!" she almost shouted at me as I got angry.<br>"We kissed Sophie, _you_ kissed me back." I stated trying to figure out what was going on in her head. "I'm drunk Sian, you're drunk! We just got caught up in the moment, you were feeling down, I just- I wanted to make you feel better." she stated as I raised my eyebrows.

"Well kissing me and then running away is really doing trick." I stated sarcastically as I she roamed her hand through her hair.  
>"I made a mistake, I don't want this and I certainly don't want you." she snapped as I felt hurt.<p>

"Go easy on the charm there Soph, wouldn't want me thinking you're a nice person." I said sarcastically as she looked angry.

"I'm not, so just go home." she said sternly as she turned around leaving me in the pouring rain with a lump in my throat. I felt like crying. I hated what she was doing to me. How could one person make you feel so good and then make you feel so horrible at the same time.

"Shit." I whimpered as I realized what I felt was real. That's why I ran after her, and that's why I feel heartbroken now. I got back to the back of the barn and sat down on one of the tables that was covered and shielded me from the rain. The warm tears starting falling down from my cheeks as I heard someone clear their voice.

I looked up and saw Goose standing in the dark. "Don't creep up on someone like that man." I said irritated as he sat down next to me and put his sweater over my shoulders.  
>" We need to get you out of these wet clothes, come on." he said.<p>

….

"You good Sian?" I heard him ask as I got out of the bathroom.  
>"Yeah thanks." I said as I sat down on his bed, with the oversized shirt and sweater he gave me. He looked at me curiously.<p>

"You want to tell me why you were out in the rain like that?" he asked as I shrugged. "Alright let me rephrase; you want to tell me what that was between you and Sophie?" he asked as I looked at him. I could already feel the tears coming up.

"Goose." I whimpered as he frowned.  
>"Hey, what's going on?" he said putting his arm around my shoulders.<br>"I've been so dumb and blind- and stubborn maybe- and maybe in denial too, I- I just-" I started stuttering as he squeezed my shoulder.  
>"Hold on you're not making much sense." he stated as I looked at him watery-eyed.<br>"I think I'm in-" I sighed breaking my sentence trying to find the courage to tell my best friend and more importantly tell myself. "I think I'm in love with Sophie." I stated as he looked at me wide-eyed.

"This isn't one of your schemes again is it? Cause I won't tell anyone bout you're little arrangement with her." he stated as I shook my head sniffing.  
>"It was like that at first, but by pretending to be her girlfriend I saw, I don't know- I can't ugh- I just fell, I can't explain it." I admitted as he sighed.<br>"What happened tonight?" he asked as sobbed a little.

"I don't know, I was crying because of my mum and she was there, she made me feel better, it just happened, the kiss that is." I was telling him as he looked at me wide-eyed the minute the word kiss left my lips.

"Hold on you kissed her?" he asked me smiling as I nodded.  
>"I think I only really realized how much I liked her- that I was in love with her after it actually happened." I stated as he smiled.<br>"Okay so what now? You and Sophie together for real -" he started gushing as I shook my head.  
>"She doesn't feel the same." I stated as he pursed his lips.<br>"You sure of that?" he asked me as I shrugged.  
>"It doesn't matter does it? She's pushing me away, she won't talk to me. I think she's making her point pretty clear don't you?" I stated as he nodded understandingly.<p>

…

_1 week later_

"Hey Sianiie." Goose smiled as he came into my room. "So I saw on the schedule that your audition is back on." he almost squealed as I smiled lightly.  
>"Yeah me and a couple other contestants, apparently there was a virus going on." I mumbled as I could feel him frowning.<br>"Why aren't you stoked about this?" he asked me as I shrugged.

"I don't think I'm gonna do this." I stated as he hit my arm.  
>"What?!" he shouted as I frowned.<br>"Will you calm down." I said calmly as I was packing my bag for class.  
>"Calm down? You- what- oh my god, I cannot believe you're not doing this! Any particular reasons?" he asked me as I shrugged.<br>"I think my mum's right, I'm never gonna make it anyways. I'm gonna focus on other things. I might quit ballet all together." I said nonchalantly as his eyes almost popped out of his head.

"You can't be serious?" he asked as I shrugged.  
>"I'm just considering it." I said to him as he frowned deeply.<br>"Well stop!" he said making me chuckle.  
>"Goose." I sighed as he interrupted me.<br>"No, listen to me! Train for the audition, you might get in- no you will get in. You'll regret this for the rest of your life." he stated as I sighed. "Look I know you've been down cause of Sophie the last couple of days but-" he started saying as I got up.

"I have to go to class alright." I stated leaving him speechless. "See you at lunch." I smiled as I left my room.

…

**Sophie**

I had been hiding away in my schoolwork for a week now, trying to get her out of my mind. "Marx wrote Das Kapital in-" I was mumbling while reading my textbook of philosophy. Why would one need philosophy in a music course? "Ugh." I said closing the book. My mind wasn't on this, I couldn't help but think of her face looking back at me while the rain was pouring on us.

I sighed deeply. I knew I was hard on her, that I had hurt her. I winced at the thoughts of hurting her. I couldn't deny that I could've handled things better, but I panicked. I couldn't start this, not ever. I couldn't- I didn't want to, not after what happened last time. I promised myself I would never get myself in that kind of situation again.

I got up and started making my way to lunch as I saw Goose coming up to me. He had been trying to talk to me bout the kiss with Sian. Yes Sian told him, and I was pretty annoyed at her for doing that. Why did everyone else always needed to be in my business. "Sophie." he frowned as I almost walked past him.

"Look, can we just get past this?" I asked as he sighed.  
>"I'm not here about that." he stated as I frowned.<br>"Oh." I said slowly as I started smiling. "Okay well, walk me to lunch then." I smirked as he nodded.  
>"I do however wanna talk about something else concerning Sian." he stated making me groan.<br>"Why?" I almost snapped as he held me by my arm. "Look I know I screwed up, I just think she needs some space from me. I can't help for not feeling the same yanno." I said as he narrowed his eyes.

"You don't feel the same? Right, you don't feel the same." he said making me frown.  
>"Don't, look I just- I can't, I don't want a relationship." I stated as he sighed.<br>"She's not asking for one, she just wants to talk, to know where she stands- ugh look I didn't want to talk to you about that again." he stated as I furrowed my brows.

"So what do you want to talk to me about… Sian?" I asked him as he sighed.  
>"She blowing off her audition." he stated as my eyes almost popped out of my head.<br>"What?!" I said with a high pitch voice.  
>"Look she's been in a bad place, I don't know what happened or what is happening. Talk to her? Please, I don't know what to do." he stated as I sighed.<p>

"Goose I don't think-" I started saying as he interrupted me.  
>"Soph, on the contrary to what you believe she'll listen to you. Please try." he asked me as I sighed nodding.<br>"I- I don't know, I shouldn't be-ugh, Alright." I said defeated.

….

I made my way to her door after lunch. My hands were shaking as I stood in front of her door. I was so nervous. I knocked on her door quietly as I heard so movement coming from across it. I breathed in deeply to calm my nerves.

She opened the door and stopped all of her movements looking me into the eyes. "Hi." I said quietly as she blinked.  
>"Hey." she said confused.<br>"Can I come in?" I asked her as she opened her door.  
>"Sure." she stated as I entered her room.<p>

I sat down on her bed as she was pacing around the room. "Goose uhm told me 'bout your audition." I stated as she stopped instantly.  
>"Look if you're here to convince me to do it, save it. You've been avoiding me for a week now, so why start caring now?" she huffed as I sighed.<p>

"Look, I'm not here to talk 'bout that, I just- I." I started swallowing my words as she snapped.  
>"You just what Soph?" she asked as I smiled mentally at her calling me Soph once more.<br>"I think you're making a big mistake not doing the audition." I stated as she sighed.  
>"Look I've made up my mind." she stated as I frowned. "<br>I don't understand you, one minute it's your whole life and the next you couldn't care less." I said to her as she clenched her jaw.

"People are allowed to have a change of heart?" she mumbled as I frowned.  
>"What happened?" I asked her as she sighed.<br>"Sophie, I have not been training for over 2 weeks!" she yelled at me as I got confused.  
>"I don't understand, then start training now, I'm sure they'll take into consideration what you've been through. They won't be as tough-" I started saying as she frowned deeply.<p>

"What, you think cause I had an accident on stage they won't be tough on me? Are you kidding me?" she said with a high pitch voice. "Sian… you can atleast try." I started reasoning with her as she shook her head.

"Why not." I asked her with a high pitch voice. "Because I'll humiliate myself, I'm so behind… I can't even face the judging panel." she said responding with the same high pitched voice I had. I want to grab her and shake. "That doesn't make any sense." I told her as she rolled her eyes.

"Of course it wouldn't make any sense to you, you're not a dancer… just leave me alone alright…. That's what you wanted isn't? For us to have space, well here's your chance." she stated pointing at the door.

"I'm not leaving." I said to her as she sighed. "Why are you doing this?" she asked me as I got up. "Because I know you'll regret it, and then I'll feel guilty for not doing anything about it." I said almost smirking.

"Oh so now it's all about you hu?" she huffed as I turned my head to the side.  
>"What do you think?" I smirked trying to lighten the mood as she tried to hold back her smile. "Sian." I said to her as she sighed, losing her smile.<br>"I don't have enough time to get the role down anyways." she stated as I frowned. "And I don't have someone to play the music for me. If I'm going to rehearse, I need a live player and not a tape I need to turn on and off every time I mess something up- well at least for the last couple rehearsals. They're all taken- I can't." she stated as I felt sorry for her.

"Sian, look, trying never hurt anyone. Just get your swan lake on and you'll be okay. I'll get you someone that plays piano." I said to her as she smiled lightly.  
>"I'm not doing swann lake." she stated as I raised an eyebrow.<p>

"Meaning you are doing something?" I asked her as she groaned.  
>"Soph." she said as I took hold of her hand sending electric pulses down my body.<br>"Please try- I'll help you, I can play piano for a couple of times if you want." I asked her as she pursed her lips.

"It would mean you'd be at my rehearsals often yanno." she stated as I nodded slowly.  
>"Fine. Look, I want to be your friend, I want to help you. I don't want to see you hurt like this." I stated as she sighed. "Friend." she repeated as I nodded.<p> 


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

**Sophie**

"Friend." I breathed nervously. Why did I have to go and offer playing piano, if anything it would only be harder on both of us. I think I wanted to do this, but there was a part of me that just held back. "Right uhm… then I'll uhm… just text me when you wanna practice yeah?" I smiled nervously as she furrowed her brows.  
>"Right … okay, well I was going to practice after class… so round 5pm?" she asked me as I smiled mentally. "Yeah okay." I said to her as she smiled widely making me hold back my snigger.<p>

It made me all warm…ish inside when she did that. Like she'd have that sparkle in her eyes, when she would be excited bout something.

"Right see you later alligator." I blurted out realizing we had been staring at each other for a couple of minutes.  
>"Okay… uhm I." she started stuttering as I didn't know how to say goodbye to her. We were hovering in front of each other.<br>"Okay.." I said nervously as I didn't know if I should hug or not. She probably felt the same thing I did as we ended up high-fiving each other.

I walked out of her room and wanted to hit myself mentally. "High-fiving and alligator what the fuck got into me?" I screamed mentally. I raced down the hall towards my own room.

I got to my room as I was met by Mac that was sitting on her bed and staring into space.

"You alright." I asked her as she shrugged. I sighed and walked over to her. "What's up?" I smiled as I sat next to her.  
>"Nothing just this girl that's been getting on my nerves." she stated as I raised an eyebrow.<br>"People can get on your nerves?" I asked her as she chuckled.  
>"It's hard but yeah." she said as I smirked.<br>"What me to kick her ass?" I asked her as she chuckled.  
>"Thanks but, nah. I'll be okay. She's your day to day bitch, just ask Sian." she stated as I frowned. "What?" I murmured as she sighed once more.<p>

"Let's just say this one isn't loved amongst most of us." she stated as I furrowed my brows. I felt a heat wave creep down my spine at the thought of Sian getting lip from some girl.  
>"Who is this?" I said sounding annoyed.<p>

"Allison Murray." she murmured as I nodded. I stood up as she furrowed her brows. "You're not really going to kick her ass are you? I mean … it would be funny, but I don't really want to cause trouble." she stated as I shrugged.  
>"I'm not going to kick her ass." I smiled as I walked out the room. To be honest I couldn't care less bout this girl right now, I was more worried bout my own things than anything else.<p>

…

'5pm'

I was late as I sighed and got up. I quickly made my way to Sian's room. As I arrived at her door, I noticed it was wide open. "Sian?" I murmured into the room but I couldn't see her blonde locks anywhere. "Shit." I cursed as I started making my way to the ballet studio. I opened the door quietly and glanced through the door opening. I noticed Sian had already started. I was mesmerized by her movements as I found myself leaning against the doorframe. She turned around with her eyes closed, and earphones in her ears as I smiled in awe. Suddenly she stopped as her eyes settled upon me.

I was snapped out of my gaze and cleared my voice. "Hi." I said embarrassed for staring.  
>"Hey." she said pulling out her earphones. "I thought you weren't going to come." she stated as I furrowed my brows.<br>"No, I mean yes, I mean I'm just late." I stuttered as I hit myself mentally. _"Now I'm stuttering too?"_ I thought as I felt myself get uncomfortable.  
>"Oh." she smiled as she walked over to me.<p>

"Great." she said pursing her lips as an awkward silence crept through.  
>"Is that the piano?" I voiced breaking the silence as she shuffled awkwardly.<br>"Yeah." she said shakily. You could cut the tension with a knife, the situation was obviously hard on both of us.

"Okay." I murmured as she smiled awkwardly and I sat down on the stool. "You gonna stand there all day." I chuckled trying to lighten the mood as she smiled.  
>"Uhm, don't you need sheet music?" she asked as I nodded.<br>"That's where you come in." I smirked as she screwed her eyes close.  
>"Sorry.. yeah." she stated as she walked over.<p>

She went through some cupboards as she took out a stuffy music book. "Going for something unique?" I asked her pointing at the dust on the cover as she walked over and put it on the wing. "Uhm… I guess." she stated as I took the book and looked at the title. 'The nutcracker'

I raised an eyebrow. "I thought you'd do swan lake again?" I said wiping the dust off with my sleeve as she shrugged. "It didn't really give me much luck, besides I wanted to do the nutcracker. It's been my favorite for a long time, my dance teacher told me I shouldn't but I want to." she stated as I smiled. Her eyes seemed to light up when she talked about these things.  
>"Okay uhm, which piece?" I asked her as she turned the pages.<p>

'_Sugar Plum Fairy dance'_

I smiled as I looked at the notes. It shouldn't be too hard to figure this one out. "I think I know this piece." I smiled as she chuckled.  
>"It'd be weird if you didn't… it's the most famous one." she stated as I smiled.<br>"Why this piece?" I asked her as she shrugged.  
>"I just like it." she chuckled awkwardly as I rolled my eyes.<br>"I know that, but there's no particular reason why you wanna play the sugar plum fairy and not the main role." I asked her as she furrowed her brows.  
>"How would you know it's not the main role." she smirked as I chuckled.<p>

"My dad took me to see the nutcracker when I was little." I stated as she raised her eyebrows.  
>"Oh." she smiled as she stared at me. "What?" I asked her feeling self-conscious as she smiled. "Nothing- I just didn't think-I- sorry, I just didn't expect you to know it." she stuttered as I chuckled. "Yeah well there are loads of things you didn't expect with me, remember." I stated as she coughed awkwardly.<br>"Uhm yeah." she said blushing. "I'm just doing the Sugar plum fairy cause well she gets to do the best dances." she smirked as I chuckled.

"Let me just figure this one out okay." I said to her as she smiled.  
>"Okay, well I'll leave you to it then." she stated as I frowned.<br>"Wait, why?"I asked her as she turned around.  
>"I just thought you'd want to be alone while you- yanno." she said awkwardly. For some reason I really didn't want her to leave, her presence gave me some kind of… I didn't know what but, some kind of soothing feeling maybe.<p>

"Stay, it's fine." I said to her as I started playing. She sat down on the seat next to me as she smiled. I stopped playing as she furrowed her brows.  
>"Why you'd stop? You sounded wonderful." she stated as I almost blushed. "<br>Uhm.. thanks, but you don't happen to have a pencil on you?" I asked her as she frowned.  
>"Why?" she chuckled as I fiddled with my fingers.<br>"Well it's just easier if I get to write some notes down, some reminders." I said as she raised her eyebrows. "Don't worry I'll erase it after, I'm just saying-" I started stuttering as she chuckled and took out a pencil.  
>"Here you go." she said kindly as I continued playing.<p>

…

"Okay, you ready?" I asked her as she nodded standing in the middle of the dancing studio. I started playing as she moved around the room on her toes looking wonderful. She must've screwed up a move cause next thing I knew she fell down on the ground. She winced as she rubbed her bum.  
>"You alright." I said getting up and moving towards her.<p>

"I'm fine." she almost chuckled.  
>"Just a clots." she stated as I smiled and helped her up.<br>"You nervous?" I asked her out of the blue as she cleared her voice.  
>"Uhm.. yeah, just a bit." she smiled. "It'll probably turn into a whole lot of nerves right before, but I'm okay now." she stated as I nodded.<br>"What are you most nervous about?" I asked her as she shuffled awkwardly.  
>"Uhm well there's only one thing to be nervous about, isn't there." she stated as I pursed my lips. "Oh.. right." I said as I went back to sit down at the piano.<br>"Wait, what do you mean?" she asked as I sighed.  
>"Never mind alright." I said to her as she sighed and frowned.<br>"Soph." she murmured touching my shoulder as my belly flipped.

"You're not nervous bout someone sabotaging you again?" I asked her as she fiddled with her fingers.  
>"I guess, maybe a little bit." she told me as I nodded.<br>"Did they find out who did it?" I asked her as she shook her head.  
>"It doesn't matter anymore, it's over." she said defeated as I frowned.<br>"That's it? Someone tried to kill you and you just let it go?" I said as she sighed deeply.

"Soph." she said sounding annoyed. "Look we don't have any proof or anything anyways, so what's the point." she asked me as raised my eyebrows.  
>"I guess." I mumbled as she sighed once more.<br>"Don't give me that look." she stated as I tried to act normal making her chuckle. "I know you better than you think, yanno." she laughed as I felt self-conscious.  
>"Did she really?" I thought as she smiled softly.<br>"Look even if I did suspect someone… besides you." she smirked making me chuckle. "I don't have any proof and I'd make a fool out of myself." she stated as I narrowed my eyes.  
>"Do you suspect… anyone?" I asked her as she shrugged.<p>

"A couple of people that hate my guts." she chuckled but got serious a second later. "Look I just want this over and done with. I don't wanna…" she started saying as I cut her off.

"What about Allison Murray." I asked her as she sat down stretching her feet.  
>"What do you know about Alli?" she asked taken aback.<br>"Just what Mac told me." I said to her as she nodded her head.  
>"Right." she mumbled as narrowed her eyes.<br>"_Do_ I need to kick her ass." I joked as she chuckled.  
>"She's just a frustrated old bitch that can't manage new meat beating her for the best roles." she stated as I widened my eyes.<br>"Woaw never thought I'd hear that from your pretty lips Powers." I stated as she smirked.

"Well these lips can do a lot more than you think." she winked as I chuckled.  
>"I bet." I smirked as she smiled at me.<br>"Well never too late to find out…again." she said quietly as I felt my stomach do weird things again. "Uhm-I-I've gotta- I uhm." I started stuttering as she started laughing  
>"I'm only joking, Webster." she smirked as I started drowning into her blue eyes.<br>"Yeah." I laughed awkwardly as she rolled her eyes and my phone rang.

I quickly looked at it, praying it was important as I saw Rosie's name flash across the screen. I frowned as I looked at Sian awkwardly. "You okay?" she murmured as I nodded.  
>"Yeah I uhm…" I started stuttering as she frowned. I quickly answered it as I heard Rosie's voice on the other hand.<p>

"Hello." she murmured as I felt my heart warm up.  
>"Hey." I smiled as I wanted to begin talking. "I haven't tal-" I started saying as she cut me off.<br>"Danny said you really wanted to talk to me, what is it?" she said coldly as I frowned.  
>"Well I just- I wanted to talk to you bout things, yanno. I miss you and I just-" I started talking to her as she sighed deeply. "What?" I croaked out feeling the lump in the back of my throat starting to grow.<br>"Just say what you gotta say, if it's just you talking crap, I'm hanging up." she said as fear poked my heart.  
>"No wait!" I said as I got up and distanced myself from Sian who tried acting busy.<p>

"I-I called Danny because I wanted to ask you if the uhm, 'the others' are still out there." I asked her as I heard her sit down.  
>"Why do you need to know?" she said sounding annoyed.<br>"They're doing a school trip to Manchester." I stated as she choked on something.  
>"You're not serious on tagging along, are you?" she said with a high pitch voice.<br>"I have no choice." I said a bit too loud as Sian looked at me curiously.

"Look just tell me if-" I started saying as she cut me off.  
>"Yes." she said coldly as I sighed. "You're a fool if you're coming back, you do know that. Didn't you hear him, next time he would see you he'd-" she started saying as her voice broke making me sigh. "Look I know, I told you I don't want anything to do with you, and I don't, you betrayed everyone but." she started saying.<br>"Rosie I swear I never-" I started saying as she snapped.  
>"You <em>betrayed<em> everyone, just _stop_ denying. Nevertheless, you're still my little sister I don't want you to get hurt or worse alright?" she stated emotionally as I started feeling salty tears stream down my cheeks. "I didn't, Rosie I swear." I said as I heard the dead tone. "Hello? Rosie?" I said as I realized she hung up on me.

I quickly wiped my tears away as I saw Sian look at me frowning. "Hey are you okay." she asked me as I couldn't help but let the tears stream down. "Soph." she said running towards me.  
>"I'm fine." I croaked out as I started walking away.<br>"Wait, Soph." she said holding onto my arm.

"I'm fine Sian." I almost snapped as she frowned.  
>"What's wrong?" she said stroking my cheek as I flinched.<p>

"Just mind your own business alright." I said pushing her away.  
>"Sophie." she said offended as I started walking away.<p> 


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

**Sophie**

"Fuck sakes." I heard her grumble as I walked away. I knew I shouldn't have taken it out on her, but she kept butting in. I didn't want to tell her that part of my life. I got outside and sat on the bench while I lighted a cigarette. As I inhaled the smoke I felt my body calm and closed my eyes enjoying the moment.

…

"_Soph." I heard her say as I turned around smiling.  
>"Hey you." I smiled as she kissed my cheek.<br>"Is everything ready?" she asked me as I nodded.  
>"Yeah, we're just waiting for Gregory." I smiled at her as she tugged at my sweater.<br>"Something on your mind?" I asked her as she shrugged. "Babe, what's wrong." I asked her as Gregory entered the room. _

"_Right you lot ready or what?" he asked as I nodded.  
>"Let's teach them a lesson yeah." I smiled taking hold of her hand and squeezing it.<br>"We'll talk about it after yeah." I told her as she snorted.  
>"It's fine Soph." she said pecking my lips as I furrowed my brows.<br>"Cara what's…" I started saying as Gregory's high voice interrupted me.  
>"Cara I'm counting on you." he said as I frowned.<br>"What?" I said looking at Cara then Greg.  
>"Sophie." Cara almost whispered as I felt something was up. <em>

"_What's going on?" I asked Greg who just shrugged.  
>"Look we needed 'a way' to get them to come to us." he stated as I started feeling very nervous. My heart was pounding in my throat as I waited for him to say the words. "Cara's bait." he stated as I clenched my teeth.<br>"No." I said as he chuckled.  
>"Well Soph when you're taking the shots, you can make that kind of decisions. But since you're not and I am, Cara's bait." he stated as I started breathing heavily.<br>"Baby, I'll be okay." she said as she brushed my shoulder as Greg left the room. _

"_What are you doing?" I asked her as she sighed.  
>"I need to get that job, Greg knows someone there. He said if I just did this one thing, I'd get it." she stated.<br>"You're not part of this though." I said making her frown.  
>"Oh what? I'm not cool enough to be-"she started huffing as I cupped her face and kissed her lips.<br>"I love you, and I don't want you to get hurt, that's the only reason." I stated as she smiled.  
>"I won't get hurt then." she smiled as I sighed. She hugged me as I hold her as tight as I could. I knew this was dangerous and could end badly.<br>"Just let me okay." she said as I nodded.  
>"Okay." I said shakily.<em>

…

I put down my cigarette as I sniffed. I should've gotten out the day they wanted Cara for bait. If I did everything would be different. "Sophie." I heard someone yell behind me as I turned around almost groaning.

"Yeah." I said as I saw a girl walking over to me.  
>"Hey, Mrs. Powers told me to give this to you." she stated as I sighed.<br>"Right." I said taking the envelope. As I saw the brunette walk away I opened the envelope finding a letter inside.

'_You are kindly requested at the headmistress' office at 7pm' _

I rolled my eyes at the note. She couldn't have just called for me, no she had to make a whole fucking letter. I looked at my watch. '6h55pm' It read as I grumbled. "She just wants me to be late." I thought as I made my way inside. I walked up the stairs and knocked on her office door.

"Enter." I heard her say as I entered her office. "Ah Sophie, why don't you sit down." she said as I sat down. "Right Sophie." she said taking hold of what I could only assume was my file. I gulped nervously as she opened it and sighed.  
>"Is there a problem?" I asked her as she looked up and smiled. "<br>Everything is okay, we just need a someone to play with the choir on the open day." she stated as I felt relief hit me.  
>"Oh, okay well what day is it?" I asked her as she smiled. I now understood what Sian meant with smiling fakely. Her eyes never squinted when she smiled.<p>

"Ms. Webster are you listening to me?" she snapped at me as I breathed in.  
>"Sorry yeah." I said to her.<br>"Well it'll be when you come back from your trip to Manchester." she smiled as I nodded.  
>"Oh, okay uhm well what would you have me play." I asked her as she smiled.<br>"Well your teacher informs me that you can play a whole lot of instruments." she stated as I shrugged.  
>"I guess." I mumbled as she smile, fakely again.<br>"Piano will do." she stated as I nodded.  
>"Okay." I said smiling awkwardly.<p>

"That is all Ms. Webster, you may go." she stated as I got up swinging my back over my shoulder and started making my way out of her office. "Oh one more thing Sophie." she said as I closed my eyes wishing she would just leave me alone. "  
>Yes Mrs. Powers." I said turning around as her faced had changed from chipper to annoyed.<p>

"My daughter's teacher informed me _you_ convinced her to do her audition after all." she stated as I gulped nodding.  
>"That's right, she's a great dancer. She shouldn't waste her talent on anything but that." I stated confidently as Janet frowned.<br>"Right, that's all." she said as I furrowed my brows. The woman started giving me the creeps.

…

_3 days later_

I woke up with someone shaking me. "What." I said groggily as I opened my eyes painfully slow. "Soph." I heard Sian's voice as I sat up, immediately trying to adjust to the light.  
>"What? What's going on." I said still half asleep.<br>"Look I know we haven't been talking and all the awkward silences at practice and stuff, but I could really use you as a friend today." she said as I could see she meant it in her eyes. I immediately regretted everything that had been going on the last few days. We had barely spoken a word to each other after I almost bit her head off for caring.

I sighed deeply. "I'm sorry." I said honestly as she smiled.  
>"It's fine, I shouldn't have butted in." she stated as I nodded. I wasn't sure if her knowing the truth bothered me that much anymore, it's just what that meant. If she'd know the truth, she'd be the closest person to me in this place. I didn't know if I could handle that.<br>"Yeah, let's just, I don't know, call it water under the bridge." I stated as she smiled.

"Yeah okay." she said as I rubbed my eyes.  
>"Couldn't this have waited till like… dawn?" I asked her as she chuckled.<br>"Dawn has passed my dear." she smirked as I looked at the ample light coming through my curtains. "Oh, SHIT, am I late? Why didn't Mac wake me?" I said jumping out of bed as I started gathering my clothes, flattening my hair.  
>"Sophie, Sophie!" Sian almost shouted as she took hold of me.<br>"It's fine, it's Saturday." she stated as I furrowed my brows.  
>"Why did you wake me up then?" I said sounding annoyed as she frowned.<p>

"Soph." she said almost sounding offended.  
>"The date." she said pointing Macs calendar as I realized what day it was. 'Sian's Audition' was written on it with multiple colours, right before 'MANCHESTER' in capital and very enthusiastic letters on Sunday. I sighed deeply making Sian frown again.<p>

"You okay?" She asked as I nodded smiling.  
>"So it was at 1pm right?" I asked her looking at the clock. '12h20' it said as I gulped looking at her as she bit her lip making me shiver.<p>

"Shit." I mumbled as I gathered my things to go to the bathroom. "I'll be ready in 10 minutes max." I told her as she smiled.  
>"I know." she stated as I smirked making my way to the bathroom.<p>

After I was done washing up and putting on my clothes I went back to my room as I found Sian sitting on my bed staring in to space. "Hey." I smiled as she didn't react. I made my way over her and nudged her.  
>"Hey Powers, don't burn a whole in my floor by staring like that." I chuckled as she cleared her voice. "Sorry." she said as I smiled sympathetically.<br>"It's okay, you ready to go?" I asked her as she smiled and got up. "Uhm… do you need to warm up or something?" I asked her as she nodded slowly.

"Well I already warmed up a bit while you were in the shower, I'll just continue downstairs." she stated making her way out of the door first.

We arrived at the waiting hall. She sat down on the floor and started stretching, she seemed so beautiful doing so. I found myself staring at her until she looked at me awkwardly. "Uhm…what? Do I have something on my face or something?" she asked me as I shook my head quickly.  
>"Uhm no… I uhm sorry, I was daydreaming." I stated as she smirked.<br>"Hmmm intense daydream, anyone I know." she joked as I felt my ears burn and my face becoming very hot. There was no doubt, I was blushing.

"Oh." she smiled playfully. "Maybe you should tell them how you feel." she stated as I coughed awkwardly.  
>"What do you mean? What feelings? Does daydreaming bout a person suddenly give you feelings about them." I said defensively as she bit her lip again.<br>"Uhm I don't know, I guess there is something about them that intrigues you, and yeah you might have some kind of feelings towards them." she said nervously as fiddled with my fingers.

"Right I -" I started stuttering as they called her name making her jump.  
>"Sian powers." they said as she got up giving me a nervous smile. She wanted to leave as I held her back by her arm.<br>"Wait." I said to her as she looked at me confused. I tugged at her arm and wrapped my arms around her, hugging her. "I thought you could use a hug right now." I stated feeling as if something let go, like a breath I'd been holding finally came out.  
>"Thanks." she said as I could feel her body relax. She breathed in and squeezed my body. "Come on, we've got to go." she said as I started feeling slightly nervous myself. It had been a while since I played in front of a jury. I made my way onto the stage as the lights almost blinded me.<p>

I took the music sheets and placed them in front of me. I didn't know why I put them there, I had memorized it by now. "Ms. Powers, we meet again." one of the jury men said as I could see she was very nervous. "I assume your leg is healed and you are ready to go?" he asked her as she nodded. "Don't get us wrong Ms. Powers we won't be less hard on you, because of what happened." he said as she nodded.  
>"I didn't expect otherwise." Sian said making me smile. She seemed so brave somehow, the way she was standing on the wooden floor. Her back straight looking right into their eyes.<p>

"Right, you may begin." he said as she nodded and took her place. She looked at me and nodded as I started playing watching her every move. She twirled and made all the moves seem so easy and graceful. I glanced over to the jury who were putting on their poker face, I tried getting any kind of expression of them but it was no use. As the piece ended I could see Sian felt relieved. If anything I felt as relieved as her, I was scared something like last time, or even worse might've happened.

"Ms. Powers." the jury started as I held on to my hands feeling the sweat on them. They started commenting on every move she made during her performance, praising her but also correcting her and putting her down on a couple of stuff.

"One last thing Ms. Powers." he said to her as I could see her gulp.  
>"Yes." she said shakily as he continued.<br>"Why did you use the piano? The original piece isn't with a piano." he stated as she nodded.  
>"I thought dancing to live music would be different than just using a tape." she stated as she continued. "And that it might improve the performance." she said as one of the men frowned.<br>"Well, it's certainly not the instrument to be used in that performance, but however we do appreciate it." He said as I smiled a little. "You're lucky you have such a good piano player by your side." another said almost making me blush as I could see Sian smiling.  
>"The best." she added as I was blushing.<br>"Right well, we're about to put the list outside seen as you are our last for today." he stated as she nodded. We both left the stage as she started crying.

"Hey what's wrong?" I asked her as she looked up and started sobbing.  
>"I'm sorry I never felt so-" she cried through her words as I furrowed my brows.<br>"They weren't that horrible." I stated as she chuckled.  
>"I know that, I'm just I don't know why I'm crying." she said wiping her eyes as I smiled.<br>"Shock maybe?" I stated as she nodded.  
>"Yeah." she said sniffing as she hugged me. "Thank you." she said as I smiled.<br>"No problem." I chuckled as I rubbed her back.

"It's over now, whatever happens you know, you did amazingly." I said as she smiled.  
>"You too." she said as we waited for over a half an hour as we noticed a old lady with a list in her hand. She put the list up very slowly as a bunch of girls attacked it.<p>

"I'm scared to look." Sian admitted.  
>"Come on." I said as she got up and wormed her way through the small crowd. I held my breath as I saw her come out.<br>"Well?" I asked her.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

**Sian**

I felt my knees shaking as I tried to get through the other girls. Some were crying others were jumping up and down. I gulped as I looked at the list:

Selected are:

_Carina Bo _

_Doster Josephine _

_Laster Dana _

_lovewelt Beatrix _

_Macwales Jerry _

_Mcallistar Darrin _

_Morrisen Ben _

The names were alphabetically, I quickly skipped down some letters, desperately trying to find my own. I was horrible at these kinds of things, I always overlooked my name even when it was on there.

_Peck Leslie_

_Perry Matthew_

_Plauress Taylor_

_Post Jodie_

_Powel Madison_

_Powers Sian_

_Ronson Gregory_

I blinked as I let out a breath. My mind was still and numb, I felt a girl pushing me out of the way as I stumbled out of the crowd. I gulped trying to get my mind around things as I saw Sophie looking at me, smiling awkwardly. I walked over to her as she smiled.

"Well?" she asked as I tried getting my vocal chords to work. "Sian." she said looking worried as I cleared my voice making a cough sound. "Oh God, I'm so sorry." she said reaching for me as she hugged me. She held me tight as I smiled shyly.  
>"Soph." I croaked out as she kissed my shoulder.<br>"Look it's gonna be okay, The Royal Ballet isn't everything." she stated making me chuckle. She got out of my grip while I tried holding my laughter as I put my hand in front of my mouth.

"I don't get it." she said making me laugh even harder.  
>"Sorry." I mumbled as I burst out laughing even harder.<br>"Sian." she said sounding annoyed with a high pitched voice.  
>"I got in Soph, I just didn't know I just- it just hit me I guess." I said as she smiled widely and hugged me picking me up. She squealed jumping up and down with me in her arms.<br>"Aah congratulations, I can't believe it!" she said laughing as I held onto her, breathing in her smell. We got out of the hug looking in each other eyes. Looking into those dark blue eyes made me weak at the knees.  
>"Thanks." I said almost whispering making her smile awkwardly. My heart started pounding as I felt her hands slide off my sides.<br>"We should go, they're expecting all the students in the Theatre." she stated as I blinked.  
>"Weren't we just in it?" she chuckled awkwardly.<p>

"How did they get all the students to gather immediately after our auditions?" I asked her as she shrugged.  
>"Stupid organization I suppose." she stated as her frown turned into a smile.<br>"Let's go yeah." she said to me as I nodded.

"What's this all about, I've been so focused lately that I didn't really pay attention to my mail, announcements, teacher… anything really." I said trying to hold my smirk.  
>"Well look at our little rebel." she said nudging me playfully.<br>"Shut up Webster." I said poking her side as I made her jolt.  
>"Oi! Watch it <em>Powers."<em> she said emphasizing my name as I smiled.  
>"It's about Manchester, I think." she said as I nodded.<p>

"You excited?" I asked but she didn't really react. "Sophie." I said pinching her arm.  
>"I guess." she said staring into space. What was it about this girl that just made me want to open her head and look through her thoughts. She raised so many questions in me; where she came from, what her deal was, her past. I wanted to figure her out, because I cared. I think I might have wanted to be that person, that knew her better than anyone.<p>

We took a seat as she started fiddling with her hands. I looked at Mac a few rows behind us who was playing with her neighbor's hair. Word was Mac was in love. I chuckled at the sight. Pour guy.

"Right let's all get down to business." the teacher on stage said as I saw my mother come onto the stage. I rolled my eyes as I saw Sophie looking at me in the corner of my eye. "  
>What?" I said feeling self-conscious.<br>"You're cute when you roll your eyes." she stated while I felt my cheek burning.  
>"Right we're leaving for Manchester in the morning so I want to get a couple things straight before we go." she said as I felt Sophie tensing up next to me.<p>

"You okay?" I asked her and she smiled shyly.  
>"Fine." she croaked out as I frowned.<br>"Soph." I started saying as my mum interrupted me.  
>"Could everybody please be quiet." I heard her say as I closed my mouth. "Right just a couple of rules that I want you to follow. Now I know you guys think I'm laid back about these things." she stated as I snorted getting a few looks from a couple of students. "But I won't be on this trip. This is a trip off school grounds and I won't tolerate any intolerances." she said as she took hold of a piece of paper.<p>

"Right, Rule number 1. No drinking, smoking or use of any kind of drugs during visits. I don't care what you do in your own time, but if I catch you… well just don't let me catch you." she smirked getting a couple of laughs out of the students as I groaned quietly.  
>"Sian." Sophie chuckled as I looked at her trying to understand what she was on about. "Try to be a bit more subtle about your feelings towards your mum." she whispered in my ear getting a laugh out of me.<p>

"Rule number two." Janet continued. "I want our group together, so I don't want anyone going out on his or her own." she continued as I heard Sophie sigh.  
>"You okay?" I asked yet again as she shrugged at me.<p>

"I'm okay." she smiled as I heard my mother continue.

"Rule number 3: Just be attentive and all." she started trailing off as I glanced over to Sophie's hand, which hadn't stopped moving since my mother started talking. "Right that's it." she smiled as I groaned.

"Oh she had to gather us all here just to tell us that." I huffed as my mum continued.  
>"There's a list of the rooms, pick a couple of mates and come and write your names on the list." she said as we all got up. "Oh girls and boys separated of course." she smiled as we heard a couple huffs and groans echoing in the room.<p>

As I saw Mac stomping her feet and pouting her lip while she came over to us, I chuckled.  
>"No fair I really wanted to be roomies with Jeremy." she stated as I could see the guy, Jeremy I assume looked like he just dodged a bomb.<br>"Awwh Mac you can see him outside the room though." I stated as she pouted. "But what about sex?" she pouted as I choked on my own saliva. Sophie started chuckled while Mac just seemed offended. "It's not fair, you two get to have sex on the trip and I don't. Talk about discrimination, just because you're a lesbian and I'm not." she huffed as we both started laughing.

"Mac, we're not having sex." Sophie said chuckling as I felt self-conscious looking at Mac's doubtful eyes.  
>"Right." I stuttered as I made my way down to the lists.<p>

I didn't even know who I wanted to room with. I glanced over at Sophie who was tucking her hair behind her ear as she was smiling widely. I felt my stomach flip and gulped deeply. I knew which person I wanted to sleep next to, cuddle with, kiss, maybe even- "Woaw what the hell am I thinking about." I thought shaking my head as I saw Sophie coming over.

"Hey." she said shyly as I smiled.  
>"Hi, uhm… do you know who you're rooming with yet?" I asked her as she nodded.<br>"Well Mac asked me so." she chuckled looking behind her as I shuffled awkwardly. "I wondered if you might want to join us." she asked me as I smiled widely and nodded. "  
>Well we uhm I mean, we've got to keep up appearances as a couple. It would be weird if I didn't want to be in the same room as you." I told her as she nodded pursing her lips.<p>

I was about to write my name next to Sophie's and Mac's as I felt someone tugging at my shoulder. "Mum." I frowned as she smiled at me.  
>"Not you Sian darling." she stated as I frowned. "I'm not going to let you and your girlfriend stay in the same room." she stated as I furrowed my brows.<br>"What? But everyone has already picked rooms and roommates." I stated as she smirked.  
>"Well then you have a whole room all to yourself, isn't that great." she stated writing my name on a separate room as I could feel my blood boil.<p>

"Mum." I snapped as she widened her eyes.  
>"It's Mrs. Powers during my hours, Ms. Powers." she said sternly as I bit my tongue. I couldn't believe what she was doing this. I felt Sophie's hand rub my shoulder.<p>

"Sucks, sorry." she said smiling sympathetically as I sighed.  
>"Yeah it does." I huffed as she smiled.<br>"Well at least give her a hug, she's sad." I heard Mac say to Sophie who just chuckled. She wrapped her arms around me.  
>"If it's any comfort I'm not really looking forward to going to Manchester." she stated as I frowned. "Why not?" I asked her as she shrugged.<br>"Just not really looking forward to it." she stated as a couple of questions raised their heads.  
>"But why." I started saying as she cut me off.<br>"Just leave it Sian." she snapped a little and I frowned. _Why did she even tell me then?_

….

**Sophie**

"Let's go guys, I want you all on that bus in less than 10 minutes." she shouted as I sighed looking at the bus. "Webster! Come on let's move it." she shouted at me as I huffed onto the bus. I hadn't slept all night, I had to much nerves to get a good rest. I kept tossing and turning until I just gave up and lay awake. I kept thinking bout Rosie… and the others… Cara. I sighed as I felt the lump grow in the back of my throat.

"Hey." Sian said coming over to me. She was covered in a big coat and a cute hat. It had become so cold lately. We all knew winter was right around the corner. Well winter was already here more like. It was so cold; I blew some hot air in my hands as I saw Sian look at me bemused. "You okay?" she asked me as I smiled nodding. "I'm fine, just tired." I added as she smiled. "You guyys are you reaadyy." Mac capered over as I chuckled. "Yeah." I said quietly as she wrapped one arm around each of our shoulders. "Come on, be happyyy! I know you guys aren't in the same room but you can do a quickie in the alleys." she squealed as Sian looked at me in horror making me laugh really hard. "Right." I said as we got on the bus.

I sat down as Sian sat down next to me. "You sure you wanna sit here?" I asked her as she furrowed her brows.  
>"Uhm… I'll go sit somewhere else." she said getting up as I held her by her hand.<br>"Wait." I said grabbing her wrist.  
>"I didn't mean it like that, it's just… I haven't slept all night, I mean… I might end up drooling all over you." I joked as she smirked.<br>"Thought you always drooled over me." she said with a flirty tone as I smiled shyly.  
>"I uhm.. I meant when I'd be asleep I .. I "I started stuttering like an idiot as she kissed my cheek making me look at her wide-eyed.<br>"Mac's watching." she whispered in my ear. To be honest I didn't want her to have an explanation for why she kissed my cheek.

I knew I liked her a lot, I also knew I wasn't going to allow myself to let it become more than that. I couldn't. It wouldn't be fair on her, and it would be too hard for me. "Right." I croaked out as she smiled shyly. I put my head against the window as I felt Sian's hand stroke my hair. I opened an eye and peeked through looking at her.  
>"Sorry." she said blushing a little as I smiled. I felt so relaxed.<p>

…

"_Mum! Omg look at this place." I heard Rosie squeal as I laughed. I was so happy to be here. New town, well city; new life. I smiled widely. "What do you think Soph." my dad asked me as I nodded eagerly. "I love it dad." I said happily as he smiled. He walked over to me and hugged me tightly. "Kevin let's go inside." I heard my mum shout as my dad sighed. "It's alright Sal, we're not in the bad neighborhoods." he said laughing as I could see my mother huff._

"_No but they're only 3 streets away, so please." she pleaded as he took my hand and guided me inside. "You too Rosie, you're only 14. I won't have you this late in the street." mum huffed as I could see Rosie's turn.  
>"But mum it's our street." she said pouting as my mum pointed to the door. We all got into the house. <em>

_After we called shotgun on the rooms and inevitably fought about it, I sat on the couch next to the room. "I don't know about this Kevin. I know we've already moved, but looking around this neighborhood." I heard my mum say as my dad sighed.  
>"You wanted me to take this job for the money." he stated.<br>"I know but, I'm scared for the kids." I could hear mum say as I frowned.  
>"They'll be fine." he chuckled. "This isn't the badest neighborhood." he chuckled. I turned my attention back to the window. I could see a couple of kids walking around the neighborhood with all kinds of equipment. I frowned as I walked down the stairs and walked out the door. I looked at them frowning. I didn't know what they were doing. <em>

"_They're stealing a bike." a girl behind me said as I turned around feeling anxious. "Sorry didn't mean to startle you." she stated as I shrugged.  
>"S'okay." I stated as she came closer to me. "Why isn't anyone doing anything bout it?" I asked her as she shrugged.<br>"Don't know." she mumbled. "Too scared I guess." she said as I frowned.  
>"Scared of what?" I asked her as she frowned.<br>"A fight." she said with an obvious tone as I felt a bit offended. _

"_You new then?" she asked me as I nodded. "I'm Cara." she said grabbing my hand and shaking it. "Sophie-Sophie Webster." I stuttered as she chuckled.  
>"Well nice to meet you Sophie, Sophie Webster. How old are ya?" she asked me as I bit my lip.<br>"I'll be 10 in November." I smiled as she returned it.  
>"I just turned 11" she said smugly as I heard my front door open.<br>"Sophie Webster! What are you doing in the streets." my mum hissed at me as she took me by my hand. "I-  
>I." I stuttered as she dragged me inside. "Bye." I mumbled quietly as she smiled at me. I could see my mum look at her, or more look down on her. I knew by the first look on my mum's face she wasn't going to allow me to play with Cara. <em>

"_What were you doing?" she said as she closed the door.  
>"Meeting the neighbors." I said raising my shoulders.<br>"I don't want you around that kind of people, I'm putting you in a private school for a reason yanno." she stated as I frowned.  
>"You can't tell me who to be friends with." I snapped as she sighed.<br>"Well you'll see on your own." she said as she sent me to my room. _

…

"Class." I heard someone shout as they clapped their hands together. I raised my head as Sian looked at me. "Morning to you too." she smirked as I smiled blinking. "Yeah." I said with a hoarse voice. "I want you all to stay in group as we go off the bus." she said as I looked around.

"_Manchester." _


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

**Sian**

I watched her drift away as she closed her eyes for the last time. I couldn't tear my gaze away from her, it's like when you're daydreaming; you know what's happening, but you just can't look away. I couldn't, my eyes were drawn to her. Her brown hair spread out across her face and her hand resting steadily beneath her chin. If I could've taken a mental picture I would've. "Stop drooling over your girlfriend Sian." I heard someone say as I snapped my attention away from her for a few minutes. "Goose?" I murmured as I saw him looking over the seats in front of me.

"Careful, if she catches you staring at her like that; she'll know." he stated as I frowned.  
>"Know what?" I said sounding annoyed making him grin.<br>"That's you're completely smitten with her." he stated as I felt myself getting angry.  
>"Piss off." I muttered turning my attention back to her. He started laughing.<br>"Sian you've been staring at her for over 2 hours, I mean it's pretty obvi-" he started saying as I sighed loudly.  
>"Since when did you become such a twat?" I snapped as he raised his hands in defense.<br>"Sorry." he mumbled sitting back down.

I noticed a lash had fallen from her eyes on her cheek. I gently picked it up. Someone once told me if you'd wish on a fallen eyelash, it might come true. "I wish-" I started thinking as our teacher started speaking through the mike. I sighed blowing the lash away quickly as I noticed Sophie waking up.

"Class." she almost yelled through the microphone as I saw Sophie's eyes flutter.  
>"Good morning to you too." I said happily as I saw her blue orbs stare at me.<br>"Yeah." she said with a hoarse voice mesmerizing me. She sat up as her hand brushed over mine making my heart jump. "_Fucking hell_." I thought. I couldn't believe I let myself get this far.

"I want you all to stay in group as we get off the bus." our teacher yelled as I smiled.  
>"You ready." I asked her as she nodded groggily. I could see something was on her mind as she let her eyes fall upon our surroundings. "You okay?" I asked her as she snapped her head up.<br>"I'm great." she stated with a big smile as I frowned. I knew Sophie this much to know, she would never smile this widely.  
>"Right let's get off then ay." she said almost sounding anxious as I got up distracted by Sophie. I bumped into Chris as he smirked at me. "Stop looking at my girlfriend like that." Sophie said casually and wrapped her arm possessively around my waste while I smiled. I knew she was only pretending I was hers, but it still felt nice when she emphasized I was to others.<p>

"Right first stop, Manchester Art Gallery." she claimed making me smile. I'd have always taken an interest to art, it always seemed fascinating seeing a painting for the first time, and then finding out so many aspects in one painting had been thought out with a singular meaning.

We walked over to Manchester Art Gallery, I noticed Sophie staring a hole into the ground. "Something on your mind?" I asked her for the 100th time as she shook her head smiling. I sighed as I started walking faster, till I made my way to the front of the group and away from Sophie's side. I was starting to feel helpless and hurt every time she shut me out. I wanted to know what was going on inside her head, but I suppose she wouldn't give out a spare key to anyone.

We finally arrived at the art gallery as we were left alone. We had 2 hours to complete or forms and report back. I sighed loudly as I looked at the pile of questions they were having us answer. I looked around looking for the way to the historical galleries. I made my way over as I saw Sophie sitting on a bench.

"Hey." I said as I sat next to her. I knew I got annoyed at her before, and I still was, but I couldn't blame her for that. If she wanted to keep things from me, that was her right. I wasn't her real girlfriend so I didn't exactly get a right to claim things from her thoughts, even though I wished I could. She was staring into space as I started to feel worried. "Soph are you sure you're okay?" I asked her as she nodded.  
>"Yeah just a bit bored." she smiled at me as I frowned.<br>"Well we still need to fill these out." I said showing her the forms as she shrugged.

"Right well how about you do one half and I do the other, that way we'll be done early." she stated as I smiled. I was pleasantly surprised by her offer as I nodded.  
>"Okay." I smiled as I walked off to the historical galleries. When I was done there, I wanted to head over to the modern galleries where Sophie was, but instead I found her walking outside.<p>

I frowned. "_What was she doing?"_ I thought. I knew what I was about to do, and it violated all codes of privacy and friendship, but somehow I found myself following her. We started drifting off from the art galleries and I felt myself getting nervous. Why was I following her? I could be getting in some serious trouble with school and Sophie. I wouldn't be surprised if she noticed me and told me to piss off. But still, I kept following her like a lost duck, as if I'd imprinted on her.

I even followed her on the tram all the way to another part of town. I saw the streets getting smaller and turning into alleyways. I was wondering how she hadn't noticed me by now; I mean she had to have heard me when I walked into that puddle of water. But she didn't turn, she didn't flinch, she didn't stop walking, she just kept on going. I finally realized she had her earphones in so I stopped trying to be subtle; there was no point in doing so anyways.

We walked through a dark alleyway, which gave me the creeps, as I almost started running through it. I jumped over some junk that was lying in my way as the worst thing happened. I wasn't subtle anymore, you could definitely say that. I stumbled over some robe that was lying in front of me. Unlike the junk from before, I didn't manage to jump over this. Instead I almost fell down as I made a clash sound with my foot making Sophie turn around. She looked at me in horror.

"Sian?" she said as she approached me quickly taking out her earphones.  
>"Hey Soph." I said casually trying to hide my nervous hands.<br>"What the hell are you doing here?" she hissed at me as I scratched my head trying to act nonchalantly. I knew how this looked, how lame I must've looked and definitely how creepy.  
>"I uhm, well I decided to do a bit of looking around." I said nervously as she blinked.<br>"Looking around, at what? My ass?!" she asked as I giggled nervously. I did look at her more than once, but never really on purpose, my eyes just fell on them on more than one occasion. "Sian." she screeched. "How long have you been following me? And why?" she asked sternly. She looked so angry I could've shot myself. _What was I thinking of again?_

"I don't know, I was worried, you seemed so distracted and- I -sorry. My curiosity got the best of me." I said to her and she seemed upset. She waved her hands in the air and started rambling all sorts of stuff angrily. "Look I'll just go okay?" I said as I started walking away only to be pulled back by her.  
>"Are you mentally challenged? I'm not going to let you walk these streets alone." she hissed pulling me with her. "Ugh fucking hell Sian." she started cursing again as I interrupted her. "Well you thought you were doing it, so what's so different? You're a girl too." I started rambling as she pushed me against the wall.<br>"I used to live here Sian, that makes it different." she stated as I sighed.

"I'm sorry." I said honestly as her gaze softened.  
>"Look let's just go." she stated as I frowned.<br>"No, wait." I told her as she groaned.  
>"What." she almost snapped as I felt myself getting worked up again.<br>"Look you obviously came here for a reason, so just go do what you wanted to do." I said to her as she shook her head.  
>"Well I can't now." she said sounding annoyed.<p>

"Why not?" I said sounding desperate and voice was filled with regret and embarrassment. "Look I'll stay put, I'll close my eyes, whatever. I realize that what I'm doing is very rude and creepy in a stalkerish kind of way. I'm sorry. I just- I got worried and - I'm sorry okay? Please go do whatever you came here to do." I stated as she sighed.  
>"Fine." she mumbled walking the opposite way. "You coming?" I heard her say as I smiled. I quickly followed her as she turned around.<br>"You know you can walk next to me now, it's not like I don't know you're following me." she stated as I quickly stood next to her. We were walking for another 5 minutes as Sophie stopped in front of a house.

She looked at the house with a peculiar look in her eyes. She sighed rubbing her temples.  
>"Everything okay?" I asked her as she nodded giving me a look she had never given me before.<br>"This used to be my house." she stated as I understood.  
>"Oh." I said as she beckoned me to follow her. She jumped over the gate as I gasped.<br>"Soph." I hissed. "Come back." I said under my breath as she walked back.  
>"Come on Powers, you're not gonna tell me you can't jump that fence? You're a dancer for Christ sakes." she stated as frowned.<br>"It's not about that, what if we get caught?" I asked her as she chuckled.

"This house has been abandoned ever since we left, my parents haven't been able to sell it." she stated as I nodded.  
>"Oh so technically it's still yours?" I asked her as she laughed.<br>"Well it's my parents', they won't have any trouble calling the police on my ass if they find out I'm here." She said as I widened my eyes.  
>"Come on Sian, where's you sense of adventure?" she said daring me as I pulled myself up and jumped over the fence. It lead to a garden, with a pond that definitely needed some work.<p>

She sat down on the rocking bench and swayed it using her feet. I sat next to her as she smiled.  
>"This is where I used to play." she joked as I chuckled.<br>"It's nice." I said as she raised an eyebrow.  
>"No it's not, it looks like crap, but it's home." she said looking around as I smiled.<br>"Soph why would your parents call the police on you?" I asked her as she looked at me with so much sincerity in her eyes.  
>"I did a lot of shit when I was younger. And I paid the price, I'm still paying it." she stated as narrowed my eyes.<br>"What did you do?" I asked her as she sighed. "Sorry, I ask too much." I stated as she put her hand on mine and smiled.  
>"No it's fine, it's just- a bit, well I'm not proud of it." she stated as I nodded.<p>

"We've all done things we're not proud of." I said to her as she smiled shyly.  
>"When I was younger I started hanging out with these people, they're not bad people on their own yanno… they're just-" she sighed at the end of her phrase. "I'm not sure how to tell you this without sounding cliché" she chuckled making me laugh.<br>"Don't worry bout that, I wouldn't realize it was a cliché until you'd point out it was." laughed as she smiled.

"I used to hang out with a bad crowd, like a 'gang' you could call it. I did some horrible stuff, I wish I could take back." she stated as I widened my eyes.  
>"A what?" I choked on my words. "So what did you do?" I asked her trying not to come over as judging as I probably sounded.<br>"I stole, I framed other people, for example." she stated swallowing deeply as her eyes drifted from me to her own hands that were lying in her lap. I breathed in shakily.  
>"That's why they put me in school, they wanted me to clean up my act. After they caught me, I did some community service. I was free to go but my parents decided to make me go here. I didn't really have any money or anything so I decided to go here for a little while. Save up some money and then leave. That's why I had to get expelled." she stated as I frowned.<br>"Soph … I." I started stuttering as she pursed her lips.  
>"Look I cleaned up my act way before I came here." she stated as I furrowed my brows.<br>"You did?" I said confused.

"You have to know that, that 'gang' became like my family. They weren't all bad people, in fact most of them were really good people, just very impressionable- like me." she stated as I tried to listen to every word she said. "One day… it just turned really bad and I wanted to stop." she stated as I nodded.

"Did you?" I asked her as she smiled and nodded.  
>"Well I tried to, but it didn't get me a lot of popular votes if you know what I mean. They thought I did something, I don't even know what anymore and well we just fought and that's when I left Manchester." she stated.<p>

"What was so bad that made you stop and what did they think you did? I mean couldn't you just explain that." I started saying as she cut me off.  
>"It's not that simple Sian." she snapped at me as I frowned.<br>"What do you mean?" I asked her sounding annoyed.

"Ugh Sian look it's complicated alright, they didn't believe me. I didn't do anything and they didn't believe me all because of." she stopped midsentence as I wanted her to continue.  
>"All because of what." I asked her.<p>

"Just leave it Sian." she said sounding defeated.  
>"No I wanna know." I snapped as she looked at me angrily.<br>"Why? Why do you always have to know everything? Did it ever cross your mind that I don't want to tell you these things." she shouted at me as I was taken aback. "So why tell me all those things from your past if you're just going to leave out major gaps." I said with a high pitch voice as I could see Sophie's cheek clenching.

"Just leave it okay." she said sternly but I wasn't going to give up right away.  
>"Look alright you don't want to tell me all of it, but I still think you can try to make amends with the people of your past." I stated trying to help her as she frowned deeply.<br>"See this is why I didn't want to tell you, I knew you wouldn't understand." She squealed at me as I was offended.  
>"What? Oh because I haven't lived this life, that's why I can't understand." I asked her as she shrugged making my blood boil.<p>

"Why do you always have to make things this hard." I groaned as I took off. I didn't care that the streets 'weren't safe'. I memorized the way back and I was counting on my memory to lead me to where I wanted to be. "Sian." I heard a dull voice in the back as I started walking faster. A part of me was glad she came after me, but that part quickly joined every other thought in my mind that was screaming. "Fuck this." as I heard Sophie yell

"FINE!"


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

**Sophie**

I saw her walk away as I sighed getting up. "Sian." I yelled at her as the figure turned the corner. I groaned loudly. I was about to go after but a squeak from the house nextdoor stopped me. I looked past the corner as I saw her body disappear leaving only her shadow. "FINE." I yelled loudly as I returned to the garden. I sat down huffing loudly kicking the fence.

"Oi! I just got that fixed!" someone said sounding annoyed as I looked up and saw jenny's face.

"Jen." I breathed as she looked at me, her eyes wide open.

"Soph?" she said shakily as I wasn't sure what to do. I got up almost stumbling over my own feet as held on to the rocking bench to keep myself steady. She looked into my eyes as I rubbed my lips against each other. "What are you doing here?" she asked me making me look at the ground.

"I- I." I was lost for words as her brown eyes met my own yet again, burning a hole through my head.

She walked away without saying a word as I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I started to shiver and my teeth started shattering. Seeing her face just reminded me of everything that had happened. I roamed my hands through my hair as I saw a slim figure walk into my garden. She started heading my way. I flinched as her body touched my own. She hugged me as I opened my eyes feeling confused. I honestly thought she was going to hit me. I breathed out as she held me close.

"How have you been?" she asked me, sitting down as I gulped.

"Alright." I whispered while mirroring her movements and sitting down next to her.

"I'm back in school." she said after a long silence and smiled at me as I smiled back.

"Me too." I told her as her smile widened.

"That's great, it's what she would've wanted you know." she stated beaming at me as I cleared my throat feeling slightly uncomfortable. "Sorry." she stated and I sighed.

"It's okay." I said to her when she looked at me, her eyes narrowing.

"It's still soar isn't it?" she asked me and I laughed uncomfortably.

"Yeah." I admitted as she nodded.

"I want you to know, I don't care what you did. After Cara, who could've blamed you for doing that. You must've thought one of us had-" she started saying as I interrupted her.

"What? No." I snapped getting up. "I didn't do anything Jenny, I got-" I couldn't finish my sentence, instead I just sat down and groaned letting my feelings seep through me.

"You don't need to explain yourself to me." she mumbled as I shot her a look.

"I didn't do anything Jen, please believe that." I looked at her as she nodded.

"After all you did for her, it's the least I can do." she stated as I felt relief. Finally having someone that believed me made me feel less jumpy somehow.

"Oi Jenneh." I heard a deep voice call as I started to panic.

"Fucking hell." I heard Jenny mumble as she shot me a sympathetical look. She squeezed my shoulder lightly. "Don't worry, I won't let him harm you, not after everything." she stated as I couldn't help but feel anxious as I saw Jeffrey walk around the corner. He looked over the fence straight into my eyes. His eyebrows furrowed immediately

"What the hell?" he said loudly as I gulped.

"Don't." I heard Jenny say.

"Jen." he said with a high pitch voice as he jumped over the fence. "What you doing here Webster?" he said with his thick mancunian accent.

"Jeff." I said shakily holding up my arms. "I just came here for some peace, I don't want any trouble." I told him as he looked crossed. "I'll go yeah." I told him as I tried getting past him.

"Hold up." he said holding on to my arm. I winced a little as he pulled me back.

"Jeff, look please just." I started panicking as Jenny pushed him backwards.  
>"I told you to back off!" she snapped as he looked at her and sighed.<p>

"Just go." he said angrily as I started to walk away quickly.

"No wait Sophie." she stated as I closed my eyes.  
>"Please Jen, let me just go. I'm already starting trouble alright, and if Greg shows up he'll…" my voice broke as she frowned.<br>"Like I said, you tried saving her. I wasn't there last time, and I won't let them send you away again." She said trying to comfort me as she made me go back to her place.

…

We'd been sitting at Jenny's kitchen table for over an hour now, enduring the painful silence that had crept its way in. I sighed loudly as Jeffrey looked at me.

"What." I mumbled as he looked at me angrily.

"I don't know how you convinced Jenny to let you stay, if it were up to me I'd-" he started huffing as I cut him off.

"You'd what?" I snapped at him making him groan.

"Why did you have to come back? You know what he'll do with you when he sees you." he hissed at me as I looked at my hands.

"I know." I whispered as he sighed deeply.

"Look Soph I don't want you to get hurt, even though you deserve it." he stated as I was about to protest but he continued without leaving me chance to speak. "I don't want Jenny hurt okay? She's been hurting for a while now, emotionally that is, I don't want her to get hurt physically too." he stated as I snorted.

"Oh and you think I haven't been hurting?" I hissed at him as his face softened.

"No, I don't doubt you have, but what you did was wrong and-" he started talking about what I supposedly did wrong as I cut him off.

"Look, did you see me doing what you think I did?" I asked him as he shook his head. "No, you didn't. So why are you believing Greg's word over mine?" I asked as he shrugged.

"What would Greg have to gain out of lying?" he asked me making a fair point as I shook my face.

"I don't know." I said feeling the lump in my throat grow.

…

"It's getting late, I should go." I stated as Jenny's face dropped.

"You could stay the night here? It's pretty cold outside, they said it was going to snow." she stated as I smiled at her.

"I can't babes, they'll wonder where I am, and I'll get detention for the rest of the academic year if I don't show up." I chuckled as she smiled shyly. I hugged her and whispered in her ear. "I love you yanno, you're one of my best friends." I could feel her grasp on my shirt.

"Be safe alright." she stated kissing my cheek. I glanced over at Jeffrey who nodded at me. I was already happy to get that out of him. I started heading for the door as I heard Jeffrey say. "Wait… don't go through Hayes avenue, it's gotten pretty bad there." he stated as I smiled gratefully.

"Thank you." I said to him as he nodded yet again.

I walked outside as I blew some hot air into my hands and rubbed them against one another. The cold air had already begun cutting through my skin as I a shiver travelled down my spine. I clutched to my coat and started walking quickly. I shouldn't be roaming these streets alone at night, I knew that. That was rule number one, but I had to get back to the hotel. I figured if I kept walking on the main roads and didn't take the alleys, I had less chance of getting into an encounter. I kept on walking as fast as I could, breathing the cold air as white snowflakes started falling down.

I smiled unconsciously. I had always loved the first snowfall of the year, ever since I was a child I found it so graceful how the snow would come falling down and make a whole landscape quiet and peaceful.

After a large amount of flakes had been falling down the road started being covered by a white coat and everything turned quiet. I hadn't realized I slowed my pace down as I heard a trash can been pushed over and I jumped. I quickly hid behind a street corner as the voices came closer. Their faces covered with scarves and hats made it hard to figure out who was walking these streets. I heard a distinctive voice amongst them, a voice my mind wouldn't let me forget as I felt myself getting weak in the knees.

"Jay." I whispered seeing him walk around.

…

"_What's going on." I heard him yell at her as I started to feel anxious. The sirens were getting closer. "You fucking bitch." he said hitting her as she winced holding onto her face. I almost got up, but got pulled down by Jeffrey. "This isn't real." he said throwing the bag to the ground as he started pushing her and got out his gun. I think I forgot to breathe, my mind was running a mile and so was I. Ignoring what Jeffrey was yelling at me I started running the minute I heard the gunshot._

…

My teeth started shattering as my tears like the snow started falling down, one by one gracefully licking my cheek. I swallowed hard as I started backing away. I knew it wasn't the best idea to go into an alley at this time of the day, but it was a better idea than to stay here. I wasn't looking where I was going and stumbled over a couple of wooden boards making an excruciating sound. I froze breathing heavily as I saw their faces turn to me.

I tried to hide my face, in the hope they wouldn't recognize me but it was no use. "Well well, look what the cat dragged in." one of them spat with venom in their voice. "Thought I'd never have the pleasure again, Sophie Webster." he said looking at me smiling devilishly. I gasped as they headed for me, I ran as fast as I could, trying to get rid of them pushing over the things behind me.

I ran, jumping over rubbish in the road, until I slipped on an icy pave and fell down head first.

….

**Sian**

Two hours after I had gotten back to the hotel I had calmed down. I was sitting in the shower letting the water pore over me. I rubbed my face and sighed getting up. I turned off the shower and walked out as I took hold of my towel. I dried off my body and looked into the mirror. It was fogged up with steam as I rubbed a bit of it with my towel. I looked at my red puffy face. This girl had made me cry more than anyone ever did. I sighed wrapping the towel around my body and got out of the bathroom. I sat on my bed and looked outside pondering about Sophie. I narrowed my eyes as I saw the small snowflakes rocking down and settling on my window pane distracting me from my original thoughts. I smiled widely as I quickly dried off and got ready to go for diner.

When I got to the hotel-restaurant and sat next to Goose as everyone was talking 'bout the snowfall. Funny how people act, or try to act like an adult all year, but on the first snowfall their child innocence translates on their faces. I looked around bemused as something hit me. As much as I was annoyed with her, I still wanted to find her face, but I couldn't. I frowned and looked at Goose. "Where's Sophie." I asked him as he shrugged.

"She's been MIA for a whole afternoon now." he stated as I started to feel nervous.

"What time is it?" I asked him as he looked on his phone.

"8h25pm." he stated as I looked outside. As much as I loved the snow, I didn't want Sophie caught up in it. I quickly took out my phone and texted her.

'Where are you?'

I waited for 20 minutes before I tried calling her. Her phone went straight to voicemail as I started to worry. "Goose." I breathed as he smiled at me. His smile faltered as he saw the look on my face. "What's wrong?" he asked me as I started breathing heavily.

"I need to go. Cover for me." I stated as he looked at me confused.  
>"Wait Sian, where are you…" he started saying but I had already left the table.<p>

I made my way down the corridor and went outside. I knew this was a bad idea but I couldn't let this go. What if something had happened to her? She wouldn't have stayed at her place would've she? No she would've have gotten way too much detention. Sophie hates detention more than anything. I started walking down the same road I was this afternoon.

I wrapped my scarf tightly around my neck as I came across a statue in the middle of a square. I didn't pay a lot attention to it until I saw a couple of blood drops painting the snow red. I gasped loudly seeing the red carpet that covered the ground as I walked closer to its origin.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

**Sian**

I kept on following the blood trail as I saw an old lady sitting against the statue. I gasped as I rubbed the snow off of her. I took out my phone thinking she was unconscious as she gripped my arm. I screamed loudly as her eyes opened.

"What you doing." she said angrily as I started breathing heavily.  
>"I'm sorry I thought you were-" I started stuttering as she spit on the ground, her saliva full of blood. I scrunched up my noise as she started coughing up blood. "Do you need help?" I asked her as she looked at me spitefully.<p>

"Get away, shoo." she said hitting my arm continuously as I got up and back away.

"I'm sorry I'll go." I said as she mumbled something angrily and spat on the ground.

"Sian." I heard a frail figure behind me say as I saw it was Sophie.

"Soph." I smiled as I walked towards her. I noticed her bruised up and bloody face as she limped towards me.

"Oh my God." I gasped as she coughed silently.  
>"I'm okay." she whispered as my bottom lip started to shiver. I swallowed deep as I could see the cuts on her face. She sat down in the snow as I rushed over. "I'm fine Sian, just a bit tired." she mumbled as I tugged some hair behind her ear to get a better look at her face.<p>

"What happened?" I asked her as she looked at me, her eyes bluer than they ever were before.

"I ran into the wrong crowd." she stated wincing as I touched her cheek.

"I need to get you out of here." I stated as I put my arm around her waist making her groan. She put her arm around my neck as I helped her forward.

"I'm sorry." she stated as I looked at her sighing.

"Let's not talk about it yeah; I want to clean you up first. I need to disinfect those cuts." I started rambling as she smiled a little.

I took her through the kitchen entry of the hotel while walking in. I was praying not to come across anyone in the hallways. A room alone wasn't all bad after all. I got in the room as Sophie sat on my bed. Her wet hair spread across her face as her head hung forward.

I quickly took off my jacket and went to get my first aid kit. I also got a cloth and a bowl of warm water. I sat next to her as some tears rolled down her cheek settling on her chin. I started unbuttoning her jacket and took it off. "Are you hurt anywhere else." I asked her as she shrugged. "Sophie." I said sternly as she tried getting off her sweater. I helped her get out of her sweater leaving her with a top. I gasped as I saw the bruises and cuts all over her upper body.

"It looks worse than it is." she stated as I raised an eyebrow.

"Really." I said skeptically as I rubbed slightly against one of the bruises making her wince.

"Ouch." she hissed as I smirked at her.  
>"That's for lying to me." I stated as I sighed looking at her trousers. "What 'bout your legs." I asked her as she chuckled.<p>

"You trying to get me naked Powers?" she joked as I laughed.

"I'm being serious here. How can you joke while being in so much agony." I asked her as her smile faltered and she looked at me sincerely.

"It's not the first time I had to take a punch." she stated as I frowned.

"Soph what…" I started asking as she interrupted me.

"Just- let's get this over with." she stated picking up the cloth and dipping it in warm water. She rubbed it over her arm as she winced.

"Let me." I told her as I took the cloth away from her touching her hand. I tried not looking into her eyes or staring to much at her breasts that were almost popping out of her shirt. I took some disinfectant and cleaned up those cuts.

"What about your leg, you were limping." I said before I started on her face as she took off her trousers showing off her gorgeous legs. I looked away as this girl was left in top and knickers.

"Sian what you doing." she asked me as I looked at her leg without staring too much at the perfect formed calves and thighs. I took out some cream and a bandage.

"This should do it, we have to get it looked at in the morning though." I stated as she frowned at me. "No, I don't want to explain what happened to some doctor." she huffed as I wrapped the bandage around her foot tightly. I looked up at her after I had finished with her foot.

"How 'bout me? You gonna tell me what happened?" I asked her as she sighed.  
>"Sian." she groaned as I looked down.<br>"Guess it's none of my business hu." I stated as I could see her screwing her eyes closed and furrowing her brows. I dipped the cloth in the now pinkish water and started cleaning up her face. She winced as I rubbed over her temple where a big cut had sliced her skin. I took the disinfectant and rubbed over it as she opened her eyes and looked at me.

"I told you about my past Sian." she stated as I snorted.

"You told me breadcrumbs from your past Soph." I told her as she furrowed her brows.

"Look it's hard for me to tell you everything alright." She stated making me sigh. I knew I didn't have a right to be pushing her this hard. I knew it was wrong of me.

"I'm sorry." I said honestly as she nodded.

"Tonight, after you left, I wanted to come after you but… Jenny came out of her house." she stated as I looked confused.  
>"Who's Jenny." I asked her.<br>"One of my old friends here." she said as I nodded.

"I thought all of your friends were mad at you or something though." I stated as she sighed.

"Jenny's different, we have well had an important person in common." she told me as I nodded, again rubbing over her cuts.

"Who?" I asked her.

"Cara." she whispered as I frowned. "Don't." she said before I could ask who she was. "Cara was an important friend to both of us and after she … left, we both had a hard time'' she stated as I nodded.  
>"I'm sorry Soph." I told her as she smiled lightly. I started applying bandages as she continued.<p>

"I left my group when she left and well I guess they didn't appreciate that, somehow I found myself in a situation I had no control over." she said to me with so much sorrow written over her face. "And tonight, I came across people of my past. People, well one guy more like that didn't see eye to eye with me." she said gulping. "I tried to get away, but he eventually got to me." she stated as I frowned.

"Got to you? He did this?" I said with a high pitch voice as she took hold of my hand.

"I'm okay, after they were done with me; I stayed down for a while and eventually found my way back. And then you were there. I never said thank you for helping me, so thanks." she said looking so vulnerable, as her touch was sending tingles through my body. I pushed her hair back as she looked at me, her eyes watering. My heart started to swell as I could see the tears rolling down her cheek. "I'm not sure what to do with myself anymore though." she said sounding so little. She didn't resemble to the tough girl she made herself out to be. She let down her guard, this side -the side I had only seen glimpses of in the past- was the side I felt so much for. And here she was letting her frozen shell crack open and look at me with so much honesty.

My heart started racing as I couldn't seem to stop looking into her eyes. "Sian I…" she said sounding breathless as I breathed out lightly.

"Yeah." I whispered as our faces were so close now. I could feel her breath on my lips as she whispered.  
>"Sian." my heart was racing as I leaned in, closing my eyes and touch her lips with my own. She kissed me back and put her hand on my cheek. I kissed her as I let my hand touch her sides.<p>

The kiss started to deepen as her tongue slipped in my mouth, making my heart jump. I breathed in loudly as she pushed me backwards. I started to lay down the bed with her on top of me. She kept kissing me as I wrapped my arms around her waist and let our tongues battle. As we entwined our fingers over my head, she pulled out and rested her head against mine. I was praying she wasn't going to say this was a mistake.

"Are you okay?" I whispered fearing her answer. She smiled looking into my eyes as I felt my heart skip a beat.

"Yeah." she smiled as she kissed my lips again and I smiled into the kiss. I rolled her over and let my hands pet her arm. Her hand was on my lower back as it found its way under my shirt.

I couldn't describe this feeling, it was like my heart was feeling so much but at the same time another part of my body was feeling even more. I felt her tugging at my shirt as I stopped kissing her.  
>"Soph." I said breathlessly as she kept on kissing me, she started kissing my cheekbone as I breathed in heavily. I knew doing this was fast, but I wanted her badly… I just needed to know she wanted this too, not just for the physicality of things, but also for other things. "Wait,… Soph." I said as she stopped kissing me and looked into my eyes. "Do you… want me?" I asked her as she chuckled and nodded shyly. I smiled and kissed her again more slowly. The throbbing between my legs started to grow as her hand found its way to my bare skin again. She pulled off my top leaving me in my bra.<p>

"You're gorgeous." she said sounding surprised.

"What, you didn't think I was before." I said pouting as she chuckled.

"No I did, I just didn't realize _how_ beautiful you are, I knew you were hot." she smirked. "But I didn't know you were this…" she was lost for words while looking at my body as I blushed. I kissed her again putting every emotion I had in it. I pulled her top up and kissed her collarbone lightly.

She sat up and started unbuttoning my trousers, she pulled them down as a shiver ran down my body. I felt her hands roam across my body as I felt more turned on than I was before. We were both left in our underwear as she pushed me down slowly on the bed. She started kissing down my neck as I gasped.

I had slept with guys before, but I couldn't describe the feeling she was giving me right now. I started breathing more heavily and felt my underwear getting soaked the more her tongue brushed over my neck. She nibbled on my ear as I moaned quietly making her smile against my skin. I let my hands travel up her body and cup her breast as she gasped looking into my eyes.

We kissed again, her tongue was already begging for entrance as it was brushing over my bottom lip. Our tongues battled after I opened my mouth, I let my hands cup her face as she pushed a thigh between my legs. I had never felt this close to anyone in my life. My hands brushed over her bra clasp as I released it. I let it go as her straps fell down her arms and revealed her breasts. I was mesmerized by them; I couldn't believe how lucky I was. She quickly discarded of my own bra as she let her mouth travel down.

She kissed down my neck towards my collarbone and finally settled on my breast. She started circling my nipple as I moaned loudly. Her thigh kept pushing harder against my throbbing centre as I tangled my hands in her hair. She kissed her way down further; she kissed every surface of my stomach as she let her fingers dig underneath the waistband of my underwear.

She pulled them off and kissed my center lightly. I kicked off my underwear as she laid on top of me again, her breast rubbing against mine. She kissed me deeply as I cupped her ass making her moan a little. I smiled mentally, I was happy that she was enjoying this too. I felt her hand caress my thigh. She settled on my knee as she pushed my legs open. I gulped as I could feel my juices literally running from my center. She glided her hand down but I stopped her, realizing she had still her knickers on.

She frowned. "What's wrong?" she asked me as I smirked pointing at her knickers. She rolled her eyes chuckling as she quickly took them off. "Better me 'lady'?" she asked me as I nodded. She pecked my lips as I smiled. She looked at me in awe and breathed in kissing me. I felt her hand brush over my center as I gasped loudly. She let her hand put more pressure on it as I moaned. She started kissing my neck as she kept on rubbing my center. I started breathing more heavily than I'd ever had. She let one finger go inside as I moaned loudly.

"Soph." I gripped onto her neck as she entered another finger. She started pumping her fingers in and out through my wet folds as I felt the pleasure ripple through me. I wanted to make her feel as good too so I let my hand travel down. She looked at me with so much desire as I brushed over her clit. She gasped as I found my way through her folds and kissed her lips silencing her moan.

I started pumping my fingers to the same pace she was. I rubbed her clit as she moaned loudly. "Sian, oh god." she started going faster as I felt the pleasure hit me even harder.

"God you're so good at that." I told her as she curled her fingers making me moan even louder. I followed her pace and kept rubbing my thumb against her clit. I could feel her walls clenching around my fingers as my own pleasure was hitting its climax. "Babe." I gasped as she curled her fingers one more time. "I'm gonna…" she moaned as I nodded. "Oh yeah." I moaned tightening my grip on her hair as she pushed me over the edge.

"Sian." she moaned loudly as she came. I could feel her squirting as I rode out my own orgasm. I kissed her passionately as she rested her head against my own. "Jesus." she gasped as I was still breathing heavily.

"Yeah." I breathed as she smiled. We both pulled out after a couple of minutes and stared at each other. I caressed her face as she leaned into my touch. "You have no idea how long I've been wanting this." I stated feeling slightly embarrassed as she raised an eyebrow.

"Really?" she said as I started blushing.

"Yeah." I said smiling shyly as she pecked my lips. She hugged me close as I breathed in her smell. "Soph I…" I was breathing heavily again feeling nervous about what I was going to say. "Yeah." she asked me looking so sweetly, as I couldn't find myself to tell her. What if she'd run away the minute I told her how I felt. "I'm a bit sleepy." I lied as she chuckled wrapping an arm around me.

"Then sleep baby." she said as my heart jumped. I smiled at her; maybe she did feel the same way I did. I chuckled as she looked at me confused. "What?" she asked me as I smirked.

"You called me baby." I said sounding like a 14 year old school girl. She looked slightly embarrassed as I was already kicking myself mentally. Why did I have to go and make a big deal out of a stupid pet name, she must think I'm so lame right now.

"Well when I sleep with someone, they mean something to me. And yeah if I want to call you baby I will. So deal with it." she smirked as I smiled and bit my lip. God did I want to tell her how I felt, but I didn't want to spoil this if it wasn't the same for her, so I put my head in the crook of her neck. She hugged me close as she kissed my forehead. I breathed in her smell as I fell asleep in her arms.

…

I woke up hugging my pillow as I opened my eyes. I smiled knowing what happened last night, I quickly turned around to give her a good morning kiss, but the space next to me was empty. I frowned as I looked at the bathroom door which was open. She wasn't in the room anymore, her clothes had gone too. I felt my heart getting tore up. My bottom lip started to shiver as a tear rolled down my cheek. "The people she sleeps with mean something to her, my ass." I thought angrily as I noticed a note on the pillow next to me.

….

**Sophie**

I woke up with my arms around Sian. I smiled kissing her shoulder as I wanted to snuggle into her more. She seemed so peaceful when she slept, I couldn't take my eyes off of her. For the first time, I actually let myself feel what I had been feeling for so long. I knew what I felt for her was real. I stroked her head as I heard my phone vibrate. I quickly took it and put on a t-shirt. I sat on the windowsill noticing the windowpane that had become icy from the previous night and the landscape was covered with a while blanket. I smiled at the view, not only the beautiful landscape, but also the beautiful girl lying in my bed.

My phone kept ringing as I got snapped out of my thoughts; I quickly answered it as I heard Jenny's voice come through.

"Soph?" I heard her say as I whispered.

"What's up." she sounded relieved as she told me she heard Jay and his guys had roughed up Sophie Webster.

"I'm okay Jen, a friend of mine found me." I said smiling at Sian.

"I was afraid the same thing happened to you like it did with Cara." she said whimpering down the phone as Cara's face flashed through my mind. I suddenly didn't feel the same way I did while looking at Sian.

"I'm okay." I stated as she rambled. I felt like I had betrayed her when I looked at Sian and remembered what we did last night.

All I felt was guilt, the happy warm fuzzy feeling I had before was replaced by guilt and disgust for my own actions. I couldn't believe what I had done. All night I had forgotten about her, I had never forgotten about her and felt extremely guilty about it. I felt even guiltier when I realized this couldn't happen again. I had let down the person most important to me and I was about to let down a person that somehow felt as important. My mind was clouded and screwed up. If jenny hadn't called me, I wouldn't have realized.

I quickly started getting dressed as I looked at the blonde wrapped up in sheets. I kissed her head one more time and wrote 'I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done this, I'm going into town' on a post-it. I put it on the pillow next hers and stroked her head. "I'm sorry." I whispered one last time as I left her room.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

I felt my heart ache when I left the hotel. I breathed in the cold air and sat on a snowcovered bench. I let my head hang forward and sighed. I couldn't believe what I had done. So many things I shouldn't have let myself do. I kept seeing Sian's vulnerable eyes from last night.

"_Do you… want me?" _

Her voice echoed in my head. I did want her, I didn't realize how much till last night. I kept going back in time, trying to figure when this happened. When did I start wanting her, thinking about her more than I should.

I shivered a little as the icy wind blew on my bruised face. I couldn't keep it in anymore, I let the tears all down from my eyes. I sobbed as I put my head in my hands. I knew had to leave. "What if Sian woke up and went outside. She'd see me crying here." I thought as I got up and rubbed my nose. I couldn't let myself get tempted by seeing her face, smelling her skin. I started to get distracted as I remember Sian's naked body rubbing against mine as a car honked snapping me out of my thoughts. I swallowed deep while crossing the street. I had to get out of here.

….

I walked through the snow leaving a deep trail behind me as I finally reached Jenny's home. I was praying no one else but Jenny was in. I ringed the doorbell as I heard shuffling coming from behind the door. I heard some rumbling as the lock turned and the door opened.

"Soph." she said blinking as I breathed out shakily.

"Come in, you must be freezing." she said pulling me in as she brushed the snow off my jacket, like my mother used to do. "Jesus, what have they done to your face?" she said with a high pitch voice as I stared into space. "Soph." she nudged me as I winced.

"Yeah." I said holding on to my side as she scrunched up her face.

"Sorry." she said as I shook my head, telling her it was okay. She took me into the living room as I saw a couple of people had gathered around the dining room table. "Oh no." I thought already regretting coming over. I stopped dead in my tracks and looked at the table. "It's alright, I don't think anyone here will harm you." she stated as I started walking again.

I looked around the table and saw a couple people of my old group. Jeffrey, Maya and Luke. "Hey guys." I said shakily as they stayed quiet. "I'll uhm just." I started saying as someone interrupted me.

"What are you doing here again." Jeffrey asked me angrily getting a frown from Jenny.  
>"I didn't know where else to go." I answered honestly as I looked down. I could feel their stares burn through my skull as I started fiddling with my fingers.<p>

"Don't worry bout them." I heard Maya say as I smiled and looked up. "We all make mistakes yeah, the guys are getting out next week anyways." I heard her say as I smiled widely. I wanted to answer her as Jeffrey huffed.

"Is that supposed to make it okay." he spat as the room turned quiet. "_She_ decided to go show those video and pictures to the police." he hissed as I frowned. "It's because of _her_ they have been in there in the first place." he stated as I furrowed my brows looking confused. "What was he on about, what photos?" I thought, but kept quiet.  
>"She made a mistake; after Cara who could've blamed her?" Maya tried reasoning with him as he turned his face.<br>"That's not the point though." He said starting to raise his voice as I sighed.

"Guys." I said breaking the argument as they looked at me. "What photos?" I asked getting a confused looks. Even Jenny was looking rather odd.  
>"Look love, I don't blame you for what you did. Honestly I see me doing it myself, but you don't have to lie to us." she said sounding offended as I raised an eyebrow.<br>"Lie? Lie about what? What photo's… and video's what the hell?" I said with a high pitch voice as I heard a pair of heels coming from behind me.

"The photo's you showed the police Sophie." My sister said coming up behind me as she sat at the table calmly. I blinked as I saw Rosie sitting at the table and was lost for words. She looked at my face and winced slightly as she noticed my cuts and bruises. "Dear lord… why did you come back? You knew what they were going to do this. I mean you bloody turned in 2 of our group and 4 of theirs." she said with a high pitch voice as the big secret finally got out. So that's what they thought I did. "What did you think they were going to do?" she said with a high pitch voice as I gulped.

"Rosie… I don't even know who got turned in." I said honestly as she groaned.  
>"How do you expect us to forgive you if you don't even admit you made a mistake." she screamed at me as Jenny raised her arms.<br>"Alright Rosie, don't scream. Look at her she's on the verge of tears." Jenny smiled sympathetically as I looked at her thanking her.

"Alright fine… how do you explain, a photo of you going into the police office then." She said looking at me seriously as all heads were turned towards me.  
>"When?" I asked her as she sighed annoyed.<br>"3 weeks after Cara died. And don't say it was because they wanted to talk to you bout Cara, because I checked Sophie! I asked when Cara's file was closed and it was 5 days before that." she stated as I felt getting anxious.

…

"_How could you do that." I almost screamed at him.  
>"Ms. Webster I think you should go home, get a good rest." he said as I punched him in the stomach. "NO, you can't just leave it like this. You can't!" I screamed while tears were rolling uncontrollably down my cheeks dripping onto the floor. "Take her boys." he stated as I cried stomping my feet, kicking them in the air.<em>

…

"Rosie, I- I wasn't there to turn anyone in, I wanted Jay to get what he deserved." I said grinding my teeth.  
>"How do you expect us to believe that? They were arrested on the same day, with the same charges. They got arrested for drugdealing and where did that get you? Jay got out 5 months ago on parole."<p>

"WHAT?" I said with a high pitch voice making Rosie groan.

"I swear Soph if you deny this one more time, I'm gonna…" she started huffing as I interrupted her.  
>"You're gonna what?" I said angrily as a couple of people started to leave the table and let us be. They knew once the Websters started to fight, the volume was set a notch higher. "How was I supposed to turn them in then? If I didn't have evidence to get Jay arrested for murdering Cara, why would you think I have evidence of drugealings?" I screamed angrily as she raised an eyebrow.<p>

"Oh please you always had that camera you got for your 14the birthday." she stated sounding irritated as I frowned.  
>"What has that got to do with it?" I asked her as she shook her head.<br>"Soph you were always filming, taking pictures. I mean it wouldn't be a surprise if you had filmed one of the drugdealings." she said stating the obvious. "I don't understand you, you obviously only had evidence for the drugdealings not the murder. Did you want him to go to jail that desperately?" Rosie asked me furrowing her brows deeply.  
>"Of course I wanted him to go to jail Rosie! He fucking KILLED Cara, and then rubbed my face in the fact that he'd gotten away with it and I couldn't do shit about it." I screamed at her as the tears rolled out of my eyes.<p>

She sighed as she saw how upset I was. I started sobbing as I rubbed my eyes. She came over to me and wrapped her arms around me. "I know you did it to get some kind of justice, you don't have to explain that. We're just upset you included your own family in it to get that justice. You could've waited, or just have turned him in. I don't understand why you turned Will and Jacob in." she stated as I groaned.  
>"I had nothing to do with Will or Jacob, and please just don't interrupt me or not listen to me. Cause I need you to listen alright, please just give me a chance." I said pleading her as she sighed sitting next to me.<br>"Alright." She said quietly.

"I went there to …." I sighed deeply trying to find the right words. "After I spoke to Jay and found out the case about Cara's murder was closed I was upset." I stated as Rosie nodded. "I was angry and I marched over to that office, I had helped them with the case and they ended up doing nothing about it? I couldn't just let it go, I went over and I just… I made a scene." I said embarrassed as Rosie frowned.  
>"I don't understand." she said to me as breathed out shakily.<br>"I started kicking and screaming and I punched a cop." I stated as she chuckled a bit making me smile. "They didn't really appreciate that, so they kept me till I was calm… well that kind of lasted a couple of hours and I just…" I started stuttering as I saw Rosie narrowing her eyes.

"Why would Greg make that stuff up then?" she asked me as I shrugged and shook my head.  
>"I don't know, maybe he thought that I was in there turning people in." I said as she nodded.<br>"But who told the cops about the drugdealing then?" she asked me as I sniffed and heaved my shoulders.  
>"I honestly don't know." I stated as she rubbed my shoulder."Please Rosie, I need you to be on my side. I want my big sister back." I stated as she closed her eyes in agony. She opened them and hugged me tightly.<br>"Come on let's put the kettle on ay." she stated making me smile.  
>"So you believe me then?" I asked her as she smiled.<br>"You're my sister, I'm supposed to give you the benefit of the doubt, aren't I?" she stated as I smiled widely.

…

After catching up with Rosie and the rest, I stayed at the table with Jenny as we were still eating. "So you're at school then." she asked me as I nodded staring into space.  
>"Sophie… you seem distracted." she stated as I frowned.<br>"What do you mean?" I asked her as she sighed.  
>"When you talk about school, your life; you seem distracted and reluctant maybe?" she stated as I sighed. "Soph… is there something going on. I know we haven't seen each other a lot lately, but I still consider you as my family." She stated as I nodded. Sian's face flashed through my mind as I closed my eyes sighing.<p>

"So there is something?" she told me as I chuckled. I got up and cleared my plate. "Sophie." she said sounding a little annoyed. "You can talk to me… are you having trouble at that school or something." she said as I tried to hold my laughter. "You know what I mean. I know you can handle yourself, I just yanno worry… after Cara died, you seem to be the only thing that reminds me of her and not of the fact that she's not here." She stated as I felt sorry for her. I had never been one of the people that didn't want to think about someone because it made them feel sad. I needed to remember Cara, there hadn't been a day that went on without me thinking about her.

"Right." I mumbled as she held on to my arm. "Soph, what's going on? I mean don't get me wrong, I love having you here, but I thought you were going back to your school?" she asked me as I sighed deeply.  
>"Well I came back." I said nonchalantly as she frowned angrily.<br>"Sophie." she said sternly as I groaned quietly.  
>"Something might have happened." I stated as she smirked. "Shut up." I said as she smiled.<br>"Come on, let's go outside and have a cuppa'. You tell me all about it." she stated as groaned.

….

"And you just left her there?" she squealed at me as I rubbed my temples.  
>"I just… look I didn't just leave her because I felt like it alright." I stated as she was waiting for me to go on. "I left her because… after you called…" I started sighing and groaning.<br>"Come on Soph, spit it out." she said sounding anxious.  
>"I had forgotten bout Cara, I have never forgotten her before. I felt like I cheated Jenny, I feel terrible. I can't believe I did this." I said putting my head in my head as she tugged at my hand making me look at her.<p>

She looked at me confused. "I don't understand Soph." she said as I almost knocked my head against the table. "Soph, you didn't cheat on Cara." she stated as I sighed.  
>"In my heart I did." I stated as she frowned.<br>"Cara died almost a year ago, she'd want you to move on." she stated as furrowed my brows.  
>"Jenny I don't get how you're being so calm, I cheated on your sister!" I said with a high pitch voice as she chuckled.<br>"Sophie, for god sakes you didn't cheat, even marriage is till death. As much as it pains me to think about it, she's gone babe." she stated rubbing my arm as I felt a lump in my throat.  
>"I know." I said quietly. "That doesn't erase my feelings for her though." I stated as Jenny looked sympathetically at me.<br>"I know it doesn't, I'm sure she'll always stay in your heart. But that doesn't mean there isn't room for someone else too." She said as I blew out the breath I was holding. She smiled at me and took hold of my hand.

"Do you love her?" she asked me as I gulped and looked down.  
>"Love is such a big word." I started stuttering as she slapped my hand.<br>"Stop. You haven't changed at all have you?" she chuckled as she continued. "You were like this with Cara too, avoiding that word. Seeming all nonchalantly." she said as sadness covered her face after she mentioned Cara. I shuffled away from her and I looked down fiddling with my hands.

"Well reason more to not like…. think about it. Last time I did, the person I _loved_ died." I said digging my nails into the wood.  
>"Soph, you can't avoid your feelings because of that though." she said to me. "If you feel something, anything; you should go back." she said to me as she kissed my head and got up walking inside.<p>

"Did I love her…" I thought remembering the previous.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

**Sian**

I tried to breathe without letting my breath hitch. I looked myself in the mirror; a towel wrapped around me and damped hair. Most of all I saw the swollen eyes Sophie left me with. I was drying myself off as I was tormented once again by the hickey resting beneath my collarbone. It only reminded me of the ant farm in my stomach, the excitement coming from my core and travelling all the way up to my throat.

…

_I felt her sucking on my collarbone as I moaned. She kept pumping her fingers in and out as I was reaching my climax. "Sophie." I was squealing while coming as I gripped her brown hair and rode out my orgasm. She had wakened me up 2 hours after I had fallen asleep. Apparently we went to sleep at 9h30pm and then woke up again at 11pm. Not that I minded, if I had be awake at now 1h30pm in the morning this was a good enough reason to be so. _

"_God you're amazing." I heard her say making me smile. "I'm amazing? Who just gave me the most mind-blowing orgasm in the world?" I stated making her chuckle…._

…_._

I snapped out of it as I felt myself getting wet. I hit myself mentally and quickly rubbed my towel over my center to dry myself off.

"Hiya Sian." A girl behind me said as I barely reacted. I barely reacted to anything for 2 days now. We left Manchester without Sophie. I remember secretively praying for Sophie to show up for the bus ride, but she never did. I was angry at her, I was hurt; but I wanted her here. I didn't know where she was, she just left. She just left after we made love or shagged from her point of view.

I swallowed deep as I looked down at my own toothbrush. I shakily took it and started brushing my teeth. I could see the tears crawling out of my pores yet again as I breathed in. Somehow I always thought if I didn't breathe out the tears wouldn't fall. But they did, one by one they fell down in the sink. I sniffed loudly as I saw Mac approach me.

"I knew something was up." she stated as I spit out my toothpaste. I quickly washed up and started heading out. "Why won't you talk to me? You used to." she stated angrily as I sighed and stood dead in my tracks.

"Mac… I don't wanna talk about it." I stated as she frowned.

"What you mean? You always talk to me." she stated as I almost rolled my eyes. I really didn't want to deal with this, so I just turned around and started walking. "Has it got to do with Sophie then? It's no secret that she's not here you know." she stated as I actually rolled my eyes. No of course it wasn't a secret. My mother made a whole scene about it the day we were leaving. She kept asking me where she was. I didn't know, I still don't know.

I went back to my room as I started to get dressed. After I put on my uniform I started making my way down. I didn't feel like breakfast, nor was I up for all the questioning looks; so I started walking towards the library as I saw Goose come up to me in the corner of my eye. I sighed deeply. He was my best friend, but I just wanted to drown in my pool of sorrows on my own.

"Sian." he said a bit louder than usually as I groaned quietly.

"Yeah." I said to him sounding annoyed as I turned around. He smiled coming over to me as I wobbled awkwardly. "Hey… uhm can we talk?" he asked me as I breathed in deeply and nodded. We walked towards the back of the library and sat down.

"Right." he said as we were both comfortable; I pursed my lips and nodded my head. "What's been going on mate, I've never seen you like this." he said looking at me in sympathy.  
>"Why do you think there is anything?" I asked him as he turned his head to the side stating the obvious as fiddled with my fingers.<p>

"Well I don't know, how about you walking around like the living dead and well Sophie doing a pretty good interpretation of death itself." he stated as I sighed. "Look there's obviously a reason why she's not here, and why you're acting like this." he stated as I rolled my eyes. "No shit Sherlock." I thought angrily as repositioned myself now leaning against the bookcase.

"Look Goose." I started saying as he interrupted me.  
>"Don't, don't lie… please." he said quietly as I looked down in agony. "Something happened in Manchester." I stated as he chuckled.<p>

"Well I had figured that one out, I just wanna know what. I understand if you don't want to talk about yanno, I get that. But I'm your best friend you can trust me. I know it's been eating you up inside… whatever happened." he stated as I felt a lump growing in my throat. "Sian I …" he continued.

"Alright." I blurted out as my voice broke and a tear escaped my eye as his facial expression changed. His smile faltered and he shuffled closer to me, embracing me in a hug immediately. "What happened?" he asked sternly as my bottom lip started to shiver.

"She got into trouble." I said as I wiped my tears away trying to keep strong while thinking of her. "She had gotten in trouble with some old acquaintances of her and she was bleeding and." I gulped as a sob interrupted my words. I saw Goose's eyes widen.

"Omg Sian, is she okay… how badly was she hurt." he started rambling as I cut him off. "She's fine, I took care of it. She had a couple cuts and bruises, and she was limping." I stated as he frowned looking confused. "She's okay now as far as I know." I stated as he looked even more confused.

"I don't understand." he stated making me look up. I closed my eyes in pure agony. How was I going to keep from sobbing? If I said it out loud it would make it more real, and it would hurt even more.

"You need to know that I… I." I started stuttering as tears flowed freely. He hugged me close and soothed me. He squeezed my hand encouraging me to go on. "I think I'm in love with her." I stated as I sobbed making him frowned.

"Okay." he said plainly. "Did you tell her that? And she didn't retaliate? Is that what's been going on?" he asked me as I snorted. I shook my head angrily. If only that would be it, it would've hurt none the less but I wouldn't feel this betrayed and angry.

"She was so vulnerable, but I don't think I took advantage. I swear, she had that look in her eyes, something that I had never seen before Goose." I said trying to convince him that I hadn't been taking advantage of the situation. She wanted to, I was sure of it.

"I'm not sure I'm following here Sian." he stated as I sighed.

"We got really close and we started kissing." I said smiling at the memory as he copied my smile. "I slept with her." I said looking down. I could feel his eyes burning into me.

"Are you serious?" he asked wide-eyed as I nodded. "It was amazing; I honestly thought she cared…" I started saying as his expression turned cold and he interrupted me. "Hold on, wait did she…?" he started asking as I started to shiver.

"She left me the morning after with a post-it stuck to my pillow saying 'I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done this yadda yadda yadda', I haven't seen her since." I stated as he frowned angrily.

"What." he spat as I gulped and started sobbing. He embraced me in a hug pulling me on his lap as he cradled me. I hadn't cried so hard, I choked on my own sobs. I let the tears fall damping his shirt as I cried loudly in his arms. No one had ever gotten this close just to hurt me.

…..

_5 days later_

I had been talking with Goose about Sophie for the last couple days and I started to feel a little better. Well better… I didn't feel like crying every other minute of the day anymore. But I still had to walk around with my arms hugging my waist, just to not let my stomach fall down to the ground. Cuz that's how I felt, I felt like my stomach had been punched so badly it was going to fall out of me.

It really did help me talk to him. I made my way over to the lake that was now frozen. I sat down on one of the ice cold rocks and breathed in the bitter air. I rubbed my hands against my arms as the wind was blowing down on me. I knew I shouldn't be out here, but looking at a particular thing through a certain angle always made me calm. That's why I had my camera with me.

It started taking a couple pictures the few animals that roamed across the frozen landscape. I smiled a little as I looked at my pictures. My eyes found their way somehow to the main road, that was now covered in snow.

The road we all came from; all arrived on. I remembered my first day here like it was yesterday. The gardens had been filled with golden leaves and the trees were bare naked. I remember looking at the school like it was the most joyful place in the world. If I only knew how much heartache was awaiting me.

I sighed looking down while thoughts of Sophie penetrated my mind. I was trying to keep those thoughts away for days, but I knew it was no use. I couldn't stop thinking of her, of what we did. Not only the fact that I made love to Sophie, but also the fact that she was a girl was roaming through the chambers of my mind. A part of me yearned for her, just so I could talk to her bout this, what this meant for me?

I knew she wasn't coming back though. Even if she did come back, it wouldn't be for me.

….

**Sophie**

"Soph?" I heard Rosie say as she saw me. I smiled as she came towards me. "What are you doing here? I thought you were going back to school days ago." she stated as I shrugged. She took hold of my hand and dragged me all the way to a private corner.

"Rosie!" I said trying to protest as she looked at me angrily. "What?" I squealed as she rolled her eyes. "I want you to go back to school." she said as I sighed a little.

"Sophie." she said angrily as I widened my eyes and looked up. "I mean it, I want something better for you. You were on your way to get a diploma, so don't screw it up." she said sounding determined as she made me chuckle. It only seemed to make her even madder. "Do you think this is a joke?" she said with a high pitch voice as I looked down.

"Sorry." I said quietly as her expression turned to peace. "I just… it's complicated." I stated as she nodded and rubbed her lips against one another.

"Because of the girl?" she asked me as I fiddled with the hem of my shirt. "Stop fidgeting." she said taking hold of my hand. "Look I know everything has been hard on you this past year. I also know that this girl and yanno your feelings… on everything aren't making this easier, but they could possibly make it better. The better choices aren't always the easiest ones okay." she stated while I was impressed. Did Rosie Webster just give me a piece of solid advice?

I breathed in and out as she put her hand on my shoulder. "Why don't you go talk to Cara about it." she stated as I frowned feeling offended. "Is that supposed to be a joke Rosie?!" I shouted angrily as I shoved her hand off. She rolled her eyes. "Her grave hello?" she said as I widened my eyes. "Rosie!" I said with a high pitch voice. How could she say these things with so much nonchalance in her voice?

"Look Sis', she might not be there to answer your questions; but she's there to listen. It'll do you some good. You haven't visited her since the funeral." she stated as I sighed. I hadn't gone to her grave, because I knew once I did I would completely break down. I knew I needed closure, but even after a year it was hard for me to admit she was gone.

….

I took my jacket and walked towards the door. "Hey where you going?" I heard Jenny ask as I smiled shyly. "Going to visit an old friend." I stated and somehow I knew Jenny realized who I was talking about. She looked at me with a bit of sorrow in her eyes and smiled. "Good luck then." she stated as I smiled.

"Thanks." I said walking out of the door. I started making my way through the streets, past crossroads and through the graveyard entrance.

I started searching for her. I had memorized where she laid on the graveyard, only I had never actually put my knowledge to the test.

When I finally reached her I sat down and looked at the stone in agony. I put some apples on top of the grave. She was always craving for apples; I didn't see why this time had to be any different.

"Hi babe." I whispered as a tear slowly ran down my cheek.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

**Sophie**

"Hi buddy." I said as I felt the lump in my throat grow. I looked at her gravestone 'In loving memory of Cara O'Donnell, taken from our lives but never from our hearts'. I smiled lightly. "Sorry I haven't been around." I said as my voice broke a little. I let my fingers trace over the gravestone as a tear ran down my cheek.

"I was a bit busy." I said picturing her raised eyebrow now. I knew she wasn't pleased with me; I hadn't visited her in over a year after all. "I guess that's a lie." I said looking down. "I just… I." I started stuttering as I groaned. I knew she was loving this -me getting lost for words- wherever she was. I sighed deeply and looked at her grave. "I've been a coward, too scared to face these pile of rocks." I said looking around me. "But you have to understand… I just, I miss you… so much." I said as a sob interrupted my words and I groaned, frustrated with myself.

"I know you might not want to hear this but, you were my best friend… my girlfriend… the person I loved and trusted the most." I said whimpering while roaming my hands through my hair. "I need you to hear me out. I know you can't answer, but I just need your shoulder to cry on." I said letting my tears flow freely.

"I slept with someone; someone that wasn't you." I said as I looked down feeling ashamed of my actions. "and she's great, she truly is. I just, I'm so confused." I said finally admitting it. "I don't know what to do. In my heart I still love you, but I think I might love her too… if that makes any sense." I said looking up to the sky. I sobbed putting my head in my hands. "Cara I'm sorry I-" I said feeling lost for words. I looked down to her gravestone and rested my head on it. I wanted to hear her, to feel her touch; I needed her so badly. "Tell me what to do." I said to her knowing she couldn't answer me.

…

"_Tell me what to do!" I said to her as she chuckled.  
>"Baaaabe." she said kissing my cheek. "Come here, I'll show you." she said holding the guitar and putting her fingers on the string. "So it's G then Fm# then G again and then A2, okay?" she said as I tried and failed yet again. I sighed deeply as she chuckled. "Don't get so worked up honey, you'll get it." she said putting the guitar away as I huffed lying down on the bed. <em>

"_I guess." I said as she climbed on top of me and kissed my lips._

"_You can't get everything immediately." she stated as a frowned. "You doubting my capabilities." I said trying to sound offended as she laughed.  
>"No, I'm not doubting these magic fingers at all, I know what they're capable of." She said smirking at me as she entwined our fingers. <em>

"_Really." I said smirking back as she came closer to my lips.  
>"Really." she whispered kissing me passionately. I felt my heart jump every time her tongue entered my mouth. I smiled into the kiss as she rested her head against mine. "You still love me." she asked as I chuckled.<em>

"_You know the answer to that." I stated as she pouted.  
>"Still like to hear it though." she stated as I laughed.<br>"Yes darling, I still love you." I said as she hugged my sides. "Did I ever tell you Cara, only spelled with a K, means love." she stated as I looked into her eyes.  
>"Really? Well then I Cara you." I said making her laugh loudly as she kissed me again. <em>

"_What would you ever do if I wasn't here anymore." she stated after staring in each other's eyes for a while as I frowned.  
>"What?" I said sounding anxious as she rolled her eyes.<br>"Hypothetically, what would you do if… I don't know, if we had a fight and broke up; and I would've gone away." she stated as I turned my head to the side._

"_I'd go after you." I said as she looked at me furrowing her brows.  
>"Really?" she asked me as I chuckled.<br>"Yes really, where's this coming from?" I asked her as she shrugged.  
>"No reason, it's just we're young and we found each other so early; it might not last, even though I want it to." she stated as I hugged her. <em>

"_Yes; we are young, we are strong, we're not looking for where we belong, we are cool…" I started saying as she slapped my hand.  
>"I'm being serious here Soph." she said frowning as I sighed.<br>"Sorry, look I love you, I won't let you go without a fight." I stated as she nodded having a peculiar look on her face. "What." I said nudging her as she looked down. "Baby the only reason I'd ever let you go is if you'd want me to let you go, if you'd be happier without me." I stated as she smiled. _

"_I know, me too… all I want for you is to be happy." she stated as she kissed my lips again. "Hopefully with me and not some other dirty slag." she said making a crunchy face as I laughed hugging her tight._

…

"I know you told me you'd want me to be happy." I said as I remembered that day. "I'm just, I can't… I don't know if I'll ever be fully happy. Every time I feel an ounce of true happiness, you flash before me and I feel guilty. I shouldn't be feeling this happy with someone else." I said as I started drizzling lightly. I sighed looking up to the skies. "What's that supposed to mean?" I thought as it started raining harder, until the rain was clashing down on the floor, washing the snow away. I felt the icy water drilling though my clothes and reached my skin. It was like I felt her touch somehow through these water drops; putting her arms around me as the rain was pouring down on me, wrapping its cloak around me.

She wanted me to be happy. There was such an inner fight in me though. "Young lady." I heard an old man yell at me as he ran through the graveyard with an umbrella in his hand. "Young lady." he said again making me sigh. "Guess we're getting company." I said looking at the gravestone.

"What are you doing in this rain, you're going to catch your death." he stated putting the umbrella over my head as I frowned. "I'll be just fine, thank you." I said turning back to Cara's grave as I heard him huff.

"Come on lass." he stated as I rolled my eyes.  
>"Look I'll be fine, just let me be." I said sounding harsh as he pursed his lips. The old man was covered in old clothes and wore a green hat that covered his grey hair. He put his hand on my shoulder<br>"At least wait it out." he said as I sighed. "Come on let's move on inside." He said as I furrowed.  
>"I can't move on." I said as he crutched down next to me, his knees making a horrible sound.<p>

"I know this visit must be important to you, but she'll be here when this rainstorm is over. She'd want you to be alright." he said as I looked into his eyes. He had the same color of eyes as Cara did. Amber colored eyes, that golden, orangeish color, which captivated my attention. "Right, so are you coming." he said as he cleared his voice and snapped out of my daze.  
>"Sorry, uhm yeah." I said as he smiled helping me up.<p>

"I love you." I said sniffing. I kissed my hand and placed it on the gravestone. "Bye." I whispered as I followed the old man that was already 5 feet ahead of me.

He took me inside and poured me a cup of tea. "Here ya go lass." he stated as I warmed my hands on the cup. "Thank you." I said smiling.

….

**Sian**

"1 and 2 and 3 and…. Sian finish your turn more quickly, come on and on the beat." she kept yelling clapping her hands as the rest were trying to make our turns as perfect as possible. "Turn out, and go, go, go and finish!" she said as I let out a breath. I gulped trying to keeping my head high as the sweat was dripping from my forehead. My feet were killing me, so were my knees.

"Right good girls, I want you to start practicing on the jumps of the second act." she said as I started getting in line. "Sian, can I see you for a second." she said as I closed my eyes in agony.

"Ooh someone's screwing up." I heard Allison say behind me as I flashed her an evil look. "What's the matter Sian can't handle the pressure?" she said as I just started ignoring her. I was about to go over to our teacher as I heard her talk to her friends about me. "I would be flunking out too if I only got into the royal Ballet because of my mother." she said sniggering to her friends as I turned around and walked over.

"You wanna repeat that to my face." I said to her as she chuckled.  
>"Well, it's no secret. I mean no one was surprised you got in." she said as I grinded my teeth.<br>"I'll inform you I worked my butt off and you know what? I don't even know why I'm defending myself to a sad, pathetic girl, that didn't even get in." I said as her smile faltered.  
>"At least my audition was fair." she said stepping closer to me as I rolled my eyes and pushed her away. She stepped forward flinging her hands to me as Ms. Murrore interrupted us.<p>

"Sian I told you to come and see me, not quarrel with other Ms. Murray." she said as I followed her out of the studio, knowing Ali was sniggering.

"So what's this all about? Am I doing such a shitty job in class?" I asked her as she shook her head. "You're not doing a shitty job… you just seem distracted and it is taking its toll on your performance. You're still doing a wonderful job, there's just something missing, something that was there before." She stated as I sighed. "Wonder what that is?" I thought sarcastically.

"Has it got anything to do with your girlfriend disappearing over the school trip." she stated as I frowned.  
>"No and she's not my girlfriend." I said defensively as she raised an eyebrow.<p>

"She's not?" she said frowning as I sighed.  
>"No, we uhm… well we're just not like that anymore." I stated as she nodded her head.<br>"So do you think maybe you break-up is affecting your dancing." she asked as I frowned.  
>"What? NO." I said sounding offensive as she sighed.<p>

"Sian I'm only trying to look out for you." she stated as she put her hand on my shoulder. I shrugged it off, I knew I was acting out of line but I couldn't help it.  
>"I'm fine alright." I hissed at her as she widened her eyes.<p>

"You definitely seem like it. Look you obviously lost something in your dancing; I need you to put your complete attention to your next performance. It's very important to the school. So why don't you take the rest of the day off and get some rest." she said as I frowned. Like that would help, being alone and getting some rest, only reminded me of Sophie. I knew Sophie had something to do with my lack of attention. Well when you're heart has been ripped out, it's natural you're going to be a tad distracted. I sighed at my own thoughts and looked at her.

"I'd rather dance if that's alright." I said to her as she pursed her lips.  
>"Go get some rest Sian, I'll see you tomorrow morning, when your head is more into the performance." she stated as I sighed deeply. I got to the changing rooms and started taking off my leotard.<p>

"So Sianie Ms. Murrore is making you sit this one out ay." I heard her coming up behind me as I tried to stay calm and just ignored her. "No come back hu." she said mocking me as she only made me angrier.

"Just leave me alone Alli." I stated as she appeared in front of me.  
>"Nice bra." she said looking at my breasts as I quickly covered myself.<p>

"Don't you have something productive to do?" I asked getting dressed as she shrugged.  
>"Yeah, doing this seems so much more fun though." she said glancing at me devilishly as I closed my eyes and sighed.<p>

"Get a life Alli. If you'd put half as much attention in being jealous of me into your performance you'd be a better … wait no you'd still be a crappy dancer." I stated as I walked away.

I started walking through the hallway as I put on my coat and headed outside. I headed for the bench near the entrance. I wiped the snow off it and sat down. I laid my head against the wall and looked at the sky. I breathed in the bitter air and felt a bit better. My feet were still killing me as I looked to the snow around me.

I took off my shoe and put some ice against my swollen feet. I knew I should've be been doing this with icepacks but it was right here. I held the icicle against my toes that were very swollen and hurt by all the pointes I had been doing.

"Sian." I heard someone too familiar say as I looked up and dropped the icicle, which crashed down to the floor making a crack sound. I started putting my sock on quickly as she tried moving towards me. I put my shoe on and got up. "Sian wait." she said trying to hold me by my arm.

"Don't touch me." I hissed at her as I walked away quickly.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

**Sophie**

After I'd finished that cup of tea and the rain stopped pouring I made my way outside. Cara's grave seemed to be disappearing in a landscape of storm-beaten rocks. I didn't want her to fade away, but I knew I couldn't get her back either. She was a memory, a shadow of my past that started to fade away slightly, but could never truly be gone… not from my heart anyways. I couldn't erase her, nor could I get her back.

I sighed and looked at the sky, which was covered with grey blobs. I wished she could give me a sign or something. I wasn't a religious person, I'd never been nor would I ever be… but even the least religious people look for something more, when someone close to them dies. It's human nature, some even say that's what distinguishes us from the animals. Wondering what's coming after, who we are, why we're here and all. Or whatever that Greek bloke was preaching all those years ago.

"Oi Sophie." I heard a familiar voice shout as I saw a very unpleased Rosie heading my way. I stood up and smiled lightly.

"What you doing here?" I asked her as she huffed and grasped my hand. She dragged me to her car as I frowned deeply. "Rosie!" I said snatching my hand away as she put her hands on her hips. "What?" I asked her while she was looking at me.

"I thought you were going back to school." she stated as I shrugged.

"Well yeah but, I mean … hold on, you told me to come and visit her." I said to her as she rolled her eyes.

"Not for 8 hours." she stated as I gasped a little. I didn't realize I had stayed here for so long. I looked down hearing her sigh. She took my hand and squeezed it.

"Come on then." she said as I stood dead in my tracks, reluctant to go with her. "Soph." she started saying as I interrupted her. "Rosie…I don't know if I'm ready to leave yet." I stated as she pursed her lips. "Babe come on, you need to get back to school. I know what I said before –and you do need closure- but I just don't want you to screw this all up. I'll come and get you for the weekend. We can come visit together." she said as I glanced at the grave. I nodded as she smiled and lead me to the car.

"Right so where we off to?" she said as I smiled and put the address in the GPS.

….

I arrived at college shivering from nose to toe. After I said my goodbyes to Rosie, I started walking down the long entrance lane. I rubbed my hands against my arms as my teeth chattered. I glanced at the big wooden door that was used as main entrance and started to feel nervous. I made my way up the icy stairs, making sure I didn't slip, as I saw a slim figure sitting on the bench. The blonde was putting some ice on her feet. Like actual ice.

I chuckled slightly. Her peculiar ways always made me laugh. Everything about her made me smile. I felt butterflies erupt in my stomach as I remembered her with less clothing.

…

_I was circling her clit as I heard her breath hitch. I put my hands on her stomach and sucked lightly on her center as she started to moan. "Sophie." she moaned breathlessly as my tongue entered her folds. She started moaning uncontrollably. We were on our 3rd round and I still couldn't get enough of her. I sucked on her clit as she started beckoning her hips to my pace. "Don't stop, yeah there." she moaned loudly as I fastened my pace and licked more eagerly. I could feel her center trembling right before she hit her climax. "Soph…I'm gonna." she said as her breath started to hitch. Her hips beckoned faster as she moaned one last time. "BABE,-" she screamed as she came all over my mouth. Her hips came down from their height and settled back on the bed as she looked at me breathlessly. _

"_That was… oh come here "she said making me chuckle as her lips collided with mine._

…

I felt myself getting hot and bothered. I needed to shake this off; I knew she wouldn't welcome me with open arms, let alone open legs. "Sian." I said as she looked up. Once her eyes met mine, she dropped the ice peek she was using. She seemed agitated as she put on her shoe back on. She tried fastening her pace on this icy deck. "Sian wait." I said to her as I grasped her arm. I wanted to speak but she beat me to it.

"Don't touch me." she hissed as I felt her sting right through my skin. I knew I had hurt her, and god did I want to take it back.

"Sian I-" I started saying as she slapped my cheek.  
>"Don't." she said as she walked away quickly leaving me by myself and my red cheek. I closed my eyes in agony and breathed in slowly. I wanted to follow her, hold on to her, till she'd listen to me. But what could I say? How could I explain all this to her? I knew I wasn't ready, I suppose I just had to suck it up for now.<p>

I made my way up to my room. As I entered my room, I was greeted with two blue eyes staring a hole into me. "Hey Mac." I said to her as she said nothing, she kept looking at me. "You alright?" I said putting down my luggage on my bed. She still didn't answer. I sighed heavily. "That's the first time you got nothing to say." I muttered as she stood up and cornered me. She stepped so close to me, I fell on the bed trying to avoid the uncomfortable feeling of having someone in my personal space.

"What." I asked her as she seemed angry. I had never seen her like this, her eyes kept burning mine. I glanced away trying to avoid them as she sat next to me. "Will you at least say something instead of staring at me." I snapped at her, but her gaze didn't soften. She merely looked down.

"Where were you?" she almost whispered as I sighed.

"I uhm… It's complicated." I stated as she furrowed her brows. She huffed and kicked the nightstand. "Mac." I said with a high pitch voice.  
>"You know Sian has been in a right state lately?" she hissed at me as I was taken aback. I had never seen this side of Mac.<p>

"I uh- I can imagine." I mumbled under my breath as she looked at me and shook her head.  
>"Does she know where you were? Did you two have a fight or something?" she asked me as I tried to speak but my mouth failed me. I was lost for words. "Well of course you fought… you fucking broke up." she mumbled as I frowned.<p>

"What?" I said shakily wanting her to speak up.  
>"Well, we know Sophie. You broke up with Sian." she stated as I widened my eyes.<br>"What? Is that what she's been saying?" I asked her. I didn't blame Sian for saying these things, but I wanted to know the whole story. "Did she say why?" I asked her as she shook her head.

"No, she won't talk to anyone." she stated as I nodded. "Not even to me." Mac said sounding disappointed as I felt sorry for her.  
>"I'm sure she has her reason for not telling you." I said trying to comfort her as she frowned angrily.<p>

"Oh like you, just now." she hissed as I sighed.  
>"Mac- I need to-" I said trying to say something that made sense, but I couldn't come up with anything. I sighed deeply.<p>

"What." she said looking at me.  
>"I don't know. What happened between me and Sian is between us, for now." I said to her as she frowned. "I need to get past this first, alright?" I said to her as she sighed and nodded.<p>

I lay down on my bed and closed my eyes, trying to find some peace in my own mind. I heard a knock and groaned a little. "Guess who." I heard a very familiar voice as I sat up. I looked at Goose as he froze.

"Goose." I said gulping. I wasn't sure how much he knew, but by the deadly look he was giving me just now, I figured he knew plenty.  
>"Hi Goosy." Mac said cheery as she pecked his lips. I almost choked on my own spit as I saw their lips collide.<p>

"And here I was starting to think you were gay." I smirked but he just ignored me.

"I just came to tell you we're all gathering in the great hall." he stated as she smiled goofily.

"I know that stupid." she said giggling as he chuckled.

"Well I was only making sure love." he said as he pecked her lips one more time and left the room. I quickly got up and followed him.

"Goose." I yelled after him. He stopped walking as he bowed forward and shook his head.

"What is it Sophie?" he said sounding annoyed as I frowned.

"Hi, it's been a while- I can't believe you got together with Mac. A lot has changed." I said as got up to him. An awkward silence started filling our text balloons as I cleared my voice.

"Right… is that all? Can I go now?" he stated as I frowned.  
>"What's going on? What's wrong?" I asked him as he rolled his eyes.<br>"Nothing I just want to be left alone alright." he snapped as I bit my lip. Sian must've had told him everything. I knew I deserved getting this shit, but he was like one of my best mates.

"I guess you talked to Sian hu." I said sounding so little. He sighed and his gaze softened.  
>"Why did you do it?" he asked me as I looked down. "You broke her heart yanno." he said as my eyes snapped up. "Don't look so surprised Soph. God, she's in love with you. Haven't you figured that out by now?" he said sounding very annoyed as I nodded quickly.<p>

"I have." I said as I felt a lump grow in my throat. He groaned and started walking away. "Wait Goose." I said sounding desperate as he turned around. By now my eyes started watering as he walked over to me and hugged me.

"You don't deserve this you know that." he said holding me tight as I sobbed quietly. "I know." I said with a broken voice.

"I didn't just break her heart, I broke mine and broke my promises and-" I said as my bottom lip started to shiver.

"What? Then why leave." he asked me as I looked down.  
>"It's complicated." I sniffed. I felt his hand creep under my chin and lift it up.<br>"I think I'm smart enough to keep up." he stated as I bit my lip. I slid down the wall onto the floor as he came to sit next to me. "Soph, I've never seen you in a state like this. Is it because she's a girl? Are you having uhm, sexuality issues." he asked as I frowned and shook my head.

"I've been with girls before." I stated as he raised his eyebrow. "That's not the problem." I stated as he looked at me peculiarly.

"Then what is it?" he asked sounding tired. I shook my head and wrapped my arms around my knees, hugging them close.  
>"I can't tell you." I stated as he sighed.<p>

"Then I can't help you Soph." he said as a tear ran down my cheek. "I don't understand you. You have that look on your face when you see her. I know that look Soph. You're in love with her." he started rambling as I stopped him.

"Just stop." I said with a high pitch voice.

"What is it? Are you having commitment issues? Can you say the word love?" he started saying as I rolled my eyes. "Sophie!" he yelled as I grinded my teeth.

"Stop fucking psychoanalyzing me!" I shouted at him. He took a step back and sighed.  
>"I'm only trying to help." he stated as I scoffed.<br>"Well you're not." I snapped as he seemed angry.  
>"You know what…" he started saying as I got up, tears running down my cheeks like a fast running stream.<br>"What?! Don't shrink me Goose! I know I screwed up, I know okay? I can't do anything about it now. I wish I could take it back, but I can't!" I said as my breath started hitching. I looked away and wiped my tears.

"You don't know anything alright. And as much as I consider you as a friend, I don't need to tell you what happened that day." I stated as his gaze shifted.

"What 'bout me? Do you not need to tell me either what happened that day?" I heard Sian's voice echoing in my shells. I turned around and saw her standing in our hallway. She looked frail and tired, but still as beautiful as ever in her hoodie and sweatpants.

"Sian I- " I started saying but I couldn't breathe properly. I had never seen this look in her eyes. She kept looking at me with so much hatred and hurt.

"Well?" she said standing close to me as I breathed heavily. I saw Goose leaving as he shot a glance at Sian. "You've been crying." she muttered as her gaze softened but it hardened as quickly as it changed before.

"How have you been?" I asked slowly, already regretting my question as I saw her face. She frowned offended as I hit myself mentally.

"I've been dandy Sophie, how about you?" she hissed as I grinded my teeth trying to hide my shiver.

"I've been…" I sighed deeply. I couldn't do this, seeing her only made it worse. "Dandy." I whispered as she snorted.

"Why did you even come back here?" she asked me. 'You' is what I wanted to say, but I couldn't. She wouldn't believe me anyways. And was I ready for her frown and her questions that came after that answer?

"I can't screw up my education." I mumbled as she sighed.

"Right." she mumbled.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

"Right." she mumbled as I rested my head against the wall. "I should get going." she said as I felt my stomach turn. She turned her back on me.  
>"Sian." I said quietly. She turned around sighing.<p>

"What?" She snapped as I closed my mouth. I looked at the ground as I could feel her frustrations, her disappointments. "Do you have any idea how much you hurt me?" she told me. I winced at the thought of hurting her as my lip started shivering, but my eyes stayed on the ground. "You don't even care do you?" she stated disappointed as she walked away. I wanted to hold her back, tell her that of course I cared. But it wouldn't have made a difference. Actions speak louder than words, and I knew if I wanted to make this right, I had to figure out a way to get past all of the shit that was passing through my mind.

First thing I needed to do was get to the principal's office. I felt a knot form in my stomach by thinking of it. I knew I had some explaining to do.

…

"Right Ms. Webster, I can't just let this pass. You broke some serious rules." she said as I looked down.

"I know, Madame." I said to her as she sighed deeply.  
>"But, you had some family issues… I suppose I can understand that. It still doesn't excuse your absence without notice." she stated as I nodded. "I could kick you out for this, you do realize that?" she said as I looked up.<p>

"I do." I said with a faint voice.  
>"I won't though." she stated making me confused. I frowned looking at her as she sighed.<p>

"I'm not letting you off the hook though, I'm going to put you on probation." she stated as I nodded. I was confused but happy at the same time. All the reasons that made me want to get out of here, seemed less important these days. I wanted to stay. "Also, you're going to help with the preparations for the benefit." She said as I furrowed my brows.

"I thought I already was." I said quietly trying not to provoke her.

"You were going to play, and you still are. I just want you to help with the preparations. I want you to help build up the setting and help cleaning the theatre." she said as I nodded. "Right you may go, here's a note to Ms. Murrore." she stated as I furrowed my brows. "Sian's dance teacher?" I thought. "She's in charge of preparations; she'll point you to what you're supposed to do." She stated as I nodded while picking up my bag.

I turned around and headed for the door. I stopped and looked behind me. "Uhm… Mrs. Powers." I started as she looked up.  
>"What is it?" she asked me as I pursed my lips.<br>"For how long am I on probation." I asked carefully.  
>"As long as I say so." she stated as I gulped and got out.<p>

After I dropped off my bag in my room, I started heading over to Ms. Murrore's office. I knocked on the door quietly as I heard her consent.

"Ms. Webster?" she said sounding surprised as I walked in, looking at the ground. I must've looked like such a mess.  
>"Uhm I was told to give this to you." I stated as I gave her the note. She examined it carefully as she furrowed her brows. She looked up at me.<p>

"Right so you're here to pay your dues." she said as I bit my lip. "Right well, the girls are going to practice in the theatre later, so why don't you clear up the stage." she stated smiling as I nodded. She told me I could find brumes and such in the closet next to the entrance.

I took out a broom and made my way over to the stage. It wasn't very dirty neither was it very messy, so I was done quickly. I was dusting off some bars and put the dirt I collected in the bin. I looked at the theatre, taking in its greatness. I made my way upstage and sat down on the edge, right above the orchestra pit.

They hadn't moved the piano yet. I looked around making sure no one was around. I jumped into the orchestra pit and opened it. I brushed my fingers over the keys and sat down. I tested the pedals for some reason. I played a key trying to figure out how loud it was. With the acoustics being great as they were in this room, it was pretty loud but natural.

…

"_That's wonderful Soph, play Chopin's Valse." my dad said as I nodded eagerly and started playing it. I could see it was making him happy. I knew Chopin's Valse was a bit vague, but I knew what he meant. I played it as I could see him picking up Rosie and dancing through the living room making us both chuckle. "You're so embarrassing dad." I heard Rosie say as we both laughed loudly. _

…

I laughed while playing the same song my memory was taking me to. I tried holding my laughter, but still couldn't manage to hold it in. I kept playing the same song I played all those years ago. I heard the door go open as I stopped playing.

"I swear you're going mental, there's no music." I heard a guy's voice.  
>"I swear someone was playing." I heard Sian's voice as I wanted to speak up. Say it was me, but instead I stayed frozen to my seat.<p>

"It's okay Sianie." I heard him as I saw their feet get closer to one another.  
>"You always got me to make music for you if you want." he said sounding sleazy as I felt angry.<br>"Well why haven't you, I'm still waiting." I heard her giggle. Was she flirting with this twat?

Before I knew it I was on my feet and back on stage. "Sophie." she said sounding surprised.  
>"Oh well here you go babe, this is the maestro you heard." he said putting his arm around her. My eyes followed his arm as I looked at Sian who seemed uncomfortable.<p>

"Who's this?" I asked her as she avoided my eyes. "Did you make a new friend when I was away?" I hissed at her as she frowned.

"Mick." he said putting out his hand as I didn't take it.  
>"Hi Mick, can you manage not to flirt with my girlfriend?" I snapped at him getting a confused look from Sian as he looked at me wide-eyed.<br>"Well she doesn't seem to mind, besides I thought you two were over." he said making me raise my eyebrows. I pushed him away as he stumbled forward. "  
>You don't know anything, besides I don't see her stepping into the relationship boat with you either, now can you please move? You're blocking the stage." I snapped as he walked away mumbling god knows what.<br>"Mick wait." Sian said as she looked at me with death in her eyes. I knew what I just did was out of line. I just couldn't help myself. Seeing him all over her made me so angry.

"What the fuck Sophie?" I heard Sian hiss at me. I didn't respond, I knew I had no right doing what I just did. "What was that?!" she screeched at me.  
>"Nothing." I mumbled as I picked up the broom I left on stage and tried getting away.<p>

"Nothing? You call _that_ nothing." she said pointing at the door out of which Mick walked out.  
>"Sorry." I mumbled.<br>"Yeah that's what you keep saying hu." she hissed. "You know I don't understand you. You got what you wanted. You slept with me, and I'm not your 'girlfriend' anymore, and you're on probation, so you got everything you wanted. You're free to leave so what could you possibly want more? You also have to keep me from seeing other people and make my life even more miserable than it is?" she yelled at me as I furrowed my brows.

"That's not what it was like, it meant something to me." I said to her as she looked away.  
>"Yeah it meant that you're sexual frustrations were numbed for a couple of days." she stated as I grasped her arm.<br>"No, that's not true." I said to her.

"No? Well you've got a funny way of showing what you want then, cause to me your whole 'fuck em and leave em' game made it pretty clear what you truly wanted." She said to me as she ripped her arm away from my hand. "Could you please go now? I don't want a cleaning lady on stage while we practice." she said as I walked away. I knew I was getting everything I deserved, but it didn't ease the pain.

…

After a week of cleaning, painting and organizing little shitty stuff the night of the benefit had finally arrived. I had two pieces to play tonight; one I had been studying after the girls from the modern dancing department asked me to play it. Apparently they had seen 'how to train your dragon' and were now obsessed with the music of it. I wasn't going to lie; the person that composed those pieces must've been pretty good at his work.

I had learnt forbidden friendship and the violinists were going to play Romantic flight. The other piece I was supposed to play was River flows in you. I was in the music study room and was going over so chords I had difficulties with. I had never been nervous before, but after everything that had happened I knew I wasn't allowed to screw this up. Perfection had put a bit of pressure on me.

"Sophie are you ready?" I heard him ask as I smiled and got up.  
>"Yeah, come on let's get this over with." I stated as we both chuckled. We sat in the orchestra pit as the theatre was filling itself with people. The first half was the classical ballet. I was just accompanying as I saw their magnificent performances. Every time Sian was up my heart started beating and my fingers got so sweaty I nearly slipped off my keys.<p>

She was doing great. I smiled as she turned slowly and captivated the audience.

…

**Sian**

"Great job guys, come on lets go watch Goose and the others." they said to me as I dried my forehead with a towel. We could all take a peek through the curtains at the side of the theatre as the modern dancers were up.

After 2 amazing performances Goose and another girl were up. I could hear the distinctive sound of the piano filling the room. "God I love this song." I heard a girl squeal quietly. "I swear if dragons were real I would adopt one." she giggled if as we shushed her. I chuckled quietly as I continued watching Goose. The piece was called forbidden friendship. I tried looking at Sophie but she was hidden away to well in the orchestra pit. Good thing too, I didn't even know why I felt the need to look for her while she was playing.

The piece ended as the room stayed quiet. Some of us started whispering "Oh my god, why aren't they clapping. It wasn't that bad?" a girl said as I breathed out for the first time in what seemed an eternity. "It's not a bad thing you twat." I said as the room started clapping only proving my point. "It was amazing, people got a bit lost that's all. It's harder to leave a room completely quiet, than having it cheering." I stated as I smiled.

The next piece quickly followed as the violins wrapped their voices around the audience and two other girls got on stage. "I didn't realize modern was so good." I heard someone say as I frowned.  
>"Of course it's as good as what we do." I stated.<br>"Yeah we're not the only ones that can leave a room quiet." Mick winked at the girl as I looked back at the stage.

…

After the moderns were done we all went on stage for a final dance. They made us learn this jazz routine which was pretty fun to do, even though my feet were killing me after. I quickly made my way out to my room so I could refresh and head to the reception.

I winced as my feet hit the floor. I took off my stocking and realized my feet were bleeding. "Fuck." I whispered. I wasn't sure how I was going to walk in high heels with these feet. I walked over to the showers. I walked into the handicap shower –which was a little bit bigger than the others- and sat down on a stool. I put my feet in the basin and turned on the shower, I winced badly as the water touched my wounds.

"Shit." I heard a familiar voice say behind me. I turned my head hastily as I saw Sophie standing there, looking at my feet.  
>"Are you okay?" she asked me as I avoided her gaze.<br>"I'm fine, thanks." I said coldly as she sighed and crutched down.

"Here." she said handing me some disinfectant. I didn't take it, I just stared at her. "Sian it's going to infect if you don't put it on." she said but I sat frozen to the stool. She sighed frustrated as she took hold of my foot.

"What you think you're doing?" I said trying to get my leg back.  
>"I'm only trying to help you." she said struggling to hold my foot. I pulled it away, too quickly as Sophie flung backwards and hit her head against the door. She grasped her head and winced.<p>

"I'm sorry." I said quickly as I picked up the disinfectant that was lying next to her. I applied it as I glanced over to Sophie, who was looking up at the ceiling. I furrowed my brows.

"What are you doing here Sophie?" I asked her as she turned her blue orbs to mine.  
>"I told you, I can't screw up my education." she stated as I rolled my eyes.<p>

"I meant here, in the shower… with me." I asked her as she shrugged.  
>"You're feet were messed up, I just wanted to help." she stated making me confused.<p>

"But why? Why do you even care?" I asked her as she didn't respond. "Why did I even think for a second you could answer me honestly." I said angrily as I got up. I looked at her, trying to make it obvious I wanted to get out so she would move. "Can you please move." I said with a high pitch voice. But she didn't, she stayed frozen. "Sophie." I said annoyed as she got up.

"No, I can't." she stated.  
>"Oh so now I can't even get out to get ready? What's wrong wi-" I started saying as she cupped my face and kissed me deeply. I let the disinfectant fall out of my hand as I kissed her back. She pushed me underneath the sprinkling water as it soaked the outfit I was in.<p> 


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

**Sophie**

She started rambling as I just wanted her to stop. I needed her to stop being so angry. I looked at her lips and cupped her face. Our lips met and I felt my stomach flip. She kissed me back, encouraging me to keep going. I pushed her against the wall as I felt the sprinkling water hit my back. I looked up as I got out of the kiss. While my eyes found themselves to Sian's, I could see her eyes focusing on me.

"What are you doing?" she whispered as I turned off the shower.

"Turning off the shower." I stated as she poked me and I smiled.

"I don't wanna talk, just… just." I didn't finish my sentence as I kissed her again, letting my tongue enter her mouth. She moaned silently as my center started throbbing. I kissed her more deeply as her hands found their way under my shirt.  
>"Sian." I said stopping her. I could see a flash of hurt pass through her eyes. I looked at her intensely. I knew the questions were going to follow if we stopped, but I didn't want to go there again. Not before we sorted everything out.<p>

She sat down in the left over water and hugged her knees. "How are your feet?" I asked her as she shrugged. I sat next to her as she shivered a little. "Sian let's get out of this water, before we catch our deaths." I said to her as she frowned.

"Can we not? I'd rather stay here for a bit." she said as I furrowed my brows.  
>"Sian…" I started saying as her eyes pierced through me, making me lose my words. A comfortable silence crept in after a couple of minutes as I breathed out loudly.<p>

She pursed her lips as if she was making a point. "You're gonna ask me all kind of questions now, aren't you?" I stated but she didn't speak, her eyes were telling me yes though. I looked down as another silence filled the cubicle.

"I'm entitled, don't you think?" she said calmly as I nodded. "Where were you?" she asked after a couple of minutes had passed on and I looked at her blue orbs.

"I was in Manchester sorting things out with my family." I told her as she looked down furrowing her brows.  
>"At that house?" she asked me and I nodded rubbing my hand on hers. She flinched though. I sighed deeply as she avoided my gaze.<p>

"Sian I'm sorry for how I left." I told her as she turned her head and stared at me. "If I hadn't left the way I did, I wouldn't have been able to leave at all." I stated as she frowned confused.

"Why would you want to leave at all? Was I that bad?" she said looking down while raising her eyebrows.

"What? No!" I said to her as she expressed utter confusion.  
>"I don't get it." she said quietly.<br>"It wasn't about being good or not, neither was it about that I didn't-" I stopped midsentence as her eyes snapped to mine.

"Didn't what? She asked anxiously as I shuffled awkwardly. "Soph." she said putting her hand on my arm as I sighed.

"Feel the way I did- do feel about you." I said looking her straight in the eye.

"And how's that?" she asked me as I looked down breathing unsteady.  
>"I…" I swallowed my words, I wanted to tell her, but I just couldn't find the words.<p>

"Why can't you say it?" she asked me angrily. I stayed quiet as she got upset and tried getting up.

"Sian don't." I said to her, making her even more upset. I grasped her shoulder but she shrugged it off.

"No! You don't! You wanna know how I feel? I'm in love with you! There I said it." she said almost screaming at me. "And… you broke my heart. What else do you want me to say? I can't do this Soph, you pulling me back and forth." she said as her voice broke making me get up.

"I'm not asking you to do anything." I told her as she snorted.  
>"Then why kiss me?" she asked me with a high pitch voice. "Is it because this is real and not pretending?" she added as I felt a tear roll down my cheek. She closed her eyes and sighed. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you cry." she stated as she played with the hem of her shirt. "I'm just telling you, you can talk to me. If you're having difficulties with committing, I'm here. I'm in this too yanno, you think it isn't hard for me to get used to being with a girl for example? That I wasn't confused…" she started rambling as I interrupted her.<p>

"It's not even about that." I stated as she frowned.  
>"Then what? You don't see me that way?" she asked me as I sighed.<br>"No, will you just let me speak." I said as she mumbled.  
>"Well you're normally so quiet.".<br>I smirked at her "Sian." I said as she bit her lip. "I do see you that way, that's the whole problem. I can't get you of my head. I can't get rid of this feeling that keeps going from my stomach up to my throat." I said as she smiled a little. "I'm in love with you, I know that." I said as she took a step forward. "Just- wait." I said to her as she nodded. "I left that morning, because I felt guilty." I stated as I gulped. She frowned confused about what I said.

"About what?" she asked me as I fiddled with my fingers.

"I was with someone, before you and I met." I said as her expression turned to anger.  
>"You what? You're with someone? You cheated on your boyfriend with me?" she asked me as I shook my head.<p>

"_She's_ not around anymore." I stated and Sian's expression changed slightly. "But to me, she still is in here." I said pointing to my chest.

"You're still in love with her." she stated me as I sighed deeply.

"She was my first love, I'll always love her deep down. But she's not in the picture anymore." I said to her as she looked at me intensely. "There's no possibility of me and her, trust me on that." I said as she nodded. I chose not to tell her I was talking about Cara. I didn't know why, I just didn't.

"Is there for us?" she asked me as I swallowed deep.

"I don't know." I said honestly as her face dropped. She cleared her voice and avoided my gaze. "I do feel the things I feel for you. I just don't know if I'm ready for a full on relationship." I told her as she furrowed her brows.

"I'm not asking you to marry me Sophie. I just want you to stop playing with my mind… and my heart at that. If you don't want this, then you need to let me go and not drag me into your spell over and over again." She said on the verge of tears.

"I wouldn't do that. And I don't know if I want this or not, can't we just be?" I asked her as she sighed. "Look if you feel the way you say you do, couldn't you give me some time?" I asked her as she closed her eyes and breathed out shakily.

"I can but I need to know this is actually going somewhere." she stated as I took a step closer to her. "All I know is that I've got those freaky butterflies again. I haven't felt this way in a very long time." I stated as she smiled a little bit.

"Me too." she whispered. I wanted to kiss her. I smiled and closed up on her. My lips got closer to hers as we got interrupted.

"Sian?" I heard her mother shout as I jumped backwards almost slipping. Sian held me steady as she answered. "In here mum, I was just cleaning my feet up." she said as I gulped. If her mother would've seen me with her, I knew I would've gotten into trouble.

"Oh well hurry up dear, guests are waiting. Is it bad, let me see." she said as she tried getting in. "NO." Sian screeched as she pushed the door back, preventing it from opening. "I'm…I'm naked." she stuttered as I almost burst out laughing. She saw my smile quirk up and put her hand over my lips.

"Well get dressed!" she said sounding annoyed and left the bathroom. She let out of a breath – relieved- as I chuckled.

"Come on." she said opening the door and dragged me out.  
>"Sian." I said as she smiled and kissed my cheek.<br>"Go to your room and get dressed, I'll meet you downstairs." she stated as I nodded and breathed shakily. My mind was overflowing with thoughts. 'Did I just tell her all of that?' I thought as I gulped while shivering a little.

…

I got down the stairs and into the ball room. I was met by a crowd of posh people sipping on their drinks and talking bout God knows what. I was a bit overwhelmed by what just happened between me and Sian, what had happened hadn't hit me yet.

Then I saw her, she was dressed in a black cocktail dress with her hair pinned up, showing off her neckline. I swallowed deep and somehow forgot what I was thinking. She was mesmerizing to me. I got snapped out of my daze as someone nudged me.

"Don't be so bloody obvious." I heard someone say angrily. I turned to the person and saw Goose's curly hair.

"Goose." I voiced. I wanted to tell him, it wasn't like that. I mean it's not like everything was all marvelous and dandy, but it was a start. I wanted to talk to him but as soon as I tried to open my mouth, he had disappeared. I sighed deeply and looked around the room. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to talk to all of the sponsors and the other of self-righteous, posh people making dull conversation.

"Ah you must be Sophie Webster." I heard someone with quite the posh accent. I turned around and saw an old lady stand next to Sian and her mother. Sian seemed a bit uncomfortable as she fiddled with her fingers and avoid my eyes. "Miss Powers has been telling us about you." she stated as I looked at Sian, who was almost blushing.

"All good I hope." I said carefully as the woman laughed.

"Of course my dear, no wrongs could be said about your piano playing." she smiled as I furrowed my brows.  
>"Oh." I voiced as she smiled.<br>"We frankly enjoyed your performance my dear." she stated, while Sian's mum excused herself. The minute her mother left, she seemed much more at ease. "Such a pity we didn't get to see your hands, I usually enjoy that so much… seeing the pianist's hands make it so much more fascinating." she said as I forced a smile. "I'm sure it's marvelous to see those hands and fingers moving to the rhythm, right Miss. Powers?" she turned to Sian as I sipped a bit on the champagne I was given a minute ago.

"Those hands are quite the show indeed Madame." she smirked at me as I almost choked on my drink. I chuckled awkwardly as the grey-haired woman smiled.

"Well I hope I shall get to see more of you Miss Webster." she said as I nodded and thanked her. She made her way to the bar as I bit my lip. Sian took a step towards me while smiling.

"Me too, much more of you." she sniggered while glancing at my cleavage briefly, which made me chuckle. "Someone's getting a bit of attention." She continued and I answered  
>"You're one to talk, I bet you've be talking to them the whole night." she smirked.<br>"I might have." she stated as I laughed quietly.

"You were great tonight, I've told you that right?" I said to her. She smiled while a glitter in her eye flickered and caught my attention.

"I can't remember, my head gets cloudy whenever you're around." she stated as I breathed shakily. "Ditto." I breathed out and swallowed deep. God did I want to kiss her and more right then and there. I almost did as I forgot where I was. Thankfully Sian took a step back and shook her head, she had a smirk plastered all over her face.

"Really." she smirked. "Could've fooled me with all the complicated explanations you've been giving me the last couple of days." she stated as I chuckled looking down.

"I'm sorry bout that yanno." I said to her as she shrugged.  
>"Don't, we just worked things out, kind of." she said as I smiled shyly. "We'll be alright- for now." she added and smiled again.<p>

…

**Sian**

After the long day we had we were all glad to greet our beds. I was so tired I thought the minute my head would hit the pillow, I would fall asleep. But I didn't, I was bright awake. Even though I was tired, thoughts swamped my head. Thoughts of Sophie.

I suppose I eventually did fall asleep because the next thing I knew I felt something creep up behind me. I jumped and almost screamed.

"Wait it's me." I heard her say as I let out a breath of relief.

"What the hell are you playing at? You almost scared me to death." I said with a high pitched voice as she chuckled.

"Don't exaggerate." she said while I was sure she was smirking.  
>"Soph what are you doing here?" I asked her as I shuffled against the wall, making room for her in my single bed.<p>

"I couldn't sleep." she stated as I frowned.

"So what, you thought you'd come and wake me up, so I could join the party." I stated as the moonlight that crept through my curtains hit her face. She looked down sadly.

"I guess- sorry, I'll just go back to bed." she stated. I was so confused; I had never seen her this way. She almost seemed honest and relaxed, like the front she had been putting up for months was gone.

"Wait, you woke me up now. Stay." I smiled as she smiled back and got into my bed. She entwined her hand in mine as I got even more confused. I knew we worked things out, but I would have never thought in a million years that she would become sensitive and mushy. Well sensitive and mushy for her standards anyways.

"Soph are you okay?" I asked just to be sure this appearance wasn't the consequence of something that might have happened earlier.

"Yeah, just couldn't sleep. Couldn't turn off my thoughts." she chuckled as I smiled a little. "I'll give you a penny for them." I smiled as she chuckled harder.

"Alright." she said while looking at me. The moment was beginning to be awkward and I looked to the side, trying to signal she could start speaking. "Well, where's my penny then?" she said as I laughed and nudged her.

"Soph." I pushed her arm as she smirked.  
>"I'm serious." she stated making me roll my eyes. I got up looking in my purse.<br>"Here I only have a pound." I stated handing it to her as she snorted.

"So what you been thinking about then? I gave you a pound, so you can't hold out on me now." I said to her as she kissed me out of the blue. My stomach went from numb to doing flip-flops in a matter of seconds. I gasped getting out of the kiss. "Wha-"I said as she interrupted me.

"That, I've been thinking 'bout doing that most of the night." she said while rubbing my hand with her thumb. I laughed and bit my lip.

"I like it when you do that." she said as I furrowed my brows.  
>"What?" I asked her as she pointed to my lip that was caught between my teeth. I quickly let go of it and blushed.<br>"Don't, I just said I liked it." she stated as I sighed.

"Soph, I know you asked me if we could just be but, you're just making it really hard for me to not be confused." I stated as she nodded. "You seem so…" I couldn't finish my sentence as I could see her eyes looking for what I was going to say.

"What?" she asked as I looked down.

"In love?" I said carefully as I could see her smile quirk up.

"I am." she stated as confusion hit me but also butterflies erupted in my stomach. I looked at her trying to express my confusion as she finally spoke. "I'm just scared." she stated as I furrowed my brows.

"Of what?" I replied while she looked me in the eye, her blue orbs cutting through my mind.

"What do you think silly, hurt. Isn't that what were all afraid of? Getting hurt?" she said to me as I nodded. I bit my lip and looked into her eyes. I cupped her face gently and kissed her lips.  
>"I'm scared too, we can be scared together." I stated. "It's like bungee jumping, I would never do it alone because I'm too scared, but if I have someone with me - that is as scared, that can comfort me, that I can rely on, that I trust- it makes it worth the kick I get out of it." I rambled on as she swallowed and tears started to form in her eyes. "Say something." I whispered while resting my head against hers.<p>

"Don't hurt me." she stated emotionally as I shook my head.  
>"Why would I hurt you when that specifically hurts me?" I answered as I looked into her blue eyes that were shaded by the tears. "Trust me." I begged her while pressing my head against hers and closing my eyes.<p>

"Okay." her whisper echoed through my room.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

**Sophie**

"Okay we know the enemy is near so be ready." I whispered loudly as I heard footsteps approaching. "Hold it." I whispered. I smiled seeing the object of my affection approaching. Her gloves drenching from the snow she was holding. I sniggered and said "Now.".

A hollow cry of battle came from our group as a dozen of snowballs flew in Sian's direction. She yelped as a couple hit the back of her head, and snow crept into her jacket. I laughed loudly as she shot me a dirty look.

"You think that's funny?" she said obviously pissed off. I chuckled and walked over to her, hiding the snowball in my hand.

"Kind of." I said quietly. By now everyone else of my group had moved on to the next target. Sian was already dead in the game. She huffed and crossed her arms making me chuckle even more. "Babe it's only a game." I said as she frowned.

"Why did you attack me?" she asked making me raise an eyebrow.

"Why not? You wanted to be on different teams for this game." I said to her as she pouted. I shook my head and stepped closer to her. "Someone's a sour loser." I stated. Before she could object, I kissed her lips. She gripped my shoulders intending to push me away, but her grip softened as I nibbled on her lips. I kissed her nose gently and wrap my arms around her, still holding on to the snowball. I knew it was bad, but she had been teasing me all week.

"I'm not a sour loser, I just don't like getting ambushed with snowballs." she stated as I smirked making her frown.

"Well how would you like being hit by snowballs then?" I asked her as she shrugged.

"Not I guess." she chuckled.

"Well I suppose you won't like this then." I stated as I pushed the snowball down her back.

"Sophieeee eeeh." she squealed as I laughed and started running. "Oh you better run Webster!" She yelled as she chased me. "I can't believe you did that!" she yelled as I tried running faster. She was catching up to me. I tried avoiding her grip but the inevitable happened and I slipped almost falling to the ground as Sian hadn't caught me. "Gotcha." she said smiling as I screw my eyes shut. I knew she was going to do.

Next thing I knew she was pushing me onto the ground and straddled me. "I wasn't expecting this." I said biting my lip as she raised an eyebrow.

"Oh don't worry sweetheart I won't do anything you're not expecting anytime soon." she said gripping some snow and molded it into a ball.

"Sian." I said shakily as she smiled.  
>"Yes honey." she said smiling devilishly.<br>"Hold on." I said trying to move my hands to stop her. She gripped my arms and pinned them over my head. If she wasn't about to shove some snow down my neck right now I'd be totally turned on. She gripped the snowball loosely rolling it in her hand as she smiled and leaned in. She kissed my lips and opened my jacket.

"That was really unkind of you to shove that snow down my neck." she whispered in my ear as shivers ran down my spine. She nipped at my ear as she violently pushed the snow into my jacket and cupped my breast. I gasped loudly. I wasn't sure what made me gasp more the fact that a gorgeous blonde was cupping my breast or that icy cold liquid was now dripping through my shirt.

"Sorry." I managed to say as she smiled and got up.

"No problem we're even now." she said as she started walking away. I laid there for a couple more minutes, taking everything in. I chuckled loudly as I got up and brushed the snow of my sweater. I looked at her footsteps in the snow and smiled. "I must really have it bad if I'm smiling at my girlfriend's footsteps." I thought and hurried back to the school.

…

"_Soph." I heard a familiar voice say as I turned around fiddling with my fingers. It had been a week since I had visited Sian's room and was kind of avoiding her. I knew I shouldn't, I had just told her I loved her. And I did, that wasn't the problem. The problem was I was starting to get too attached, to love her too much. I told her I wanted to just be, but I didn't._

"_Hellooo? Sophie?" she said waving as I smiled quickly. "Not to sound needy or anything, but have you been avoiding me?" she asked me as I screwed my eyes shut. She nodded and sighed._

"_Am I that obvious." I asked her as she scrunched up her nose. _

"_I guess I'm just perceptive." She said obviously upset. I stepped closer to her as she frowned. "You can't just tell me you love me and then run away." she said bitterly as I felt frustrated. "You keep pushing away and pulling me to you. It's confusing." she said angrily as I sighed desperately. _

"_It's not what you think." I said as she furrowed her brows. "I … it's not." I started stuttering. I didn't know what was wrong with me I couldn't place my words in the right order. "I'm not pushing you away, well I am but not because I'm pulling and I'm .. ugh." I sighed frustrated as I hit the wall with my foot. She frowned and stepped closer to me. _

_She pulled at my arm, making me face her. "What?" she said as I chewed on the inside of my cheek. "Why are you so nervous?" she asked me as I choked out a chuckle. _

_I felt self-conscious. She knew the answer; I answered nevertheless "You make me nervous.". Her face softened as her hands found their way inside my palm. _

"_Talk to me. What's going on?" she asked. "I haven't pushed you, I haven't asked you to be anything with me. We're just 'being', that's what you wanted." she added as I pursed my lips and looked down. "You wanna tell me what's so fascinating bout that shoelace right now." she asked me as my eyes snapped back to hers._

"_All right here we go. Take a deep breath, just tell her." I thought giving myself a pep talk. "That's the thing- " I started as I swallowed the end of my sentence. Her eyes never darted from mine. They left me feeling even more nervous. They pierced through me as I started to feel slightly dizzy. _

"_Sophie." she voiced as I took a deep breath yet again. _

"_I know I said I don't want a label, but … for some stupid reason." I said laughing at myself as her eyes lit up. "I …" I stuttered stumbling over the syllables in the sentence. "That specific label is starting to get more attractive. I'm starting to want it more." I said as she smiled._

"_Which label?" she asked as I groaned. _

"_You know which one." I said to her as she smirked and rubbed my hand. She was going to make me say it. "Sian I mean … I." I started stuttering again as she chuckled. _

"_Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?" she asked as I felt a crimson shade creep up my cheeks. _

"_Maybe." I said shakily holding my breath for what she would say. A silence wrapped around us as I felt my heart drop. I looked away and felt tears prickling behind my eyes. I knew this would happen. "Every time I open up to someone…" I started thinking as she squeezed my hand. _

"_Okay." She said as I looked back at her. _

"_Okay?" I said checking what she just had said as she smiled. _

"_Yeah. I want you to be mine, I've always wanted that. I want people to know your mine." she smiled as I chuckled. I cupped her cheeks and kissed her while whispering on her lips._

"_I've been yours since the day you kissed me." _

…

I got out of the shower and was met by a very red-nosed blonde. She looked at me and raised an eyebrow. "You're looking quit dashing if I may say." she stated pointing to my body wrapped up in a long white towel.

"Why thank you my lady." I said as she chuckled. I kissed her lips. "Sorry bout before, I like to win at games." I smirked as she slapped my bum.

"Well, you can rub my feet after this and it'll all be forgotten." she stated as I laughed loudly.

"As if you ever needed an excuse to ask me to rub your feet." I stated as she pouted. I quickly kissed her pout as a couple of other girls came in.

"Oops we walked in on lesbo world." one of them said as I hissed "Well then get out." Sian smiled weakly.

"I might as well go." she said and kissed my cheek. "I'll see you later." she smiled as she got out of the bathroom leaving me with them. I gave them the dirtiest look in my book and gathered my stuff. I quickly went to my room as I dried my hair. After an entire afternoon of playing around in the snow, I had been frozen coming back. The warm shower did me good.

A knock voiced through my hairdryer as I put it off. "Come in." I smiled as I saw Mac come in. I frowned slightly confused. "Mac why are you knocking? You're my roommate." I stated as a matter of fact. She shrugged and sat on my bed.

"Well you never know you and Sian are going 'gaga bucheng' in here." she stated as I burst out laughing. Her vocabulary surpassed my imagination sometimes. Where did she get those things? "So are you two meeting up later in the barn?" she asked as I smiled.

"Hmm maybe, but I'm seeing the Mrs. in a couple of minutes I'm on foot rub duty." I stated as she grinned.

"Goosy is on foot rubbing duty all the time. And other rubbing duties." she smirked as I widened my eyes.

"I seriously did not want to hear that." I said to her as she laughed.

"Oh come on Soph, you know what it's like. Don't pretend like you and Sian haven't been at it like rabbits." She stated as I felt self-conscious. If I was being honest I didn't know what it was like at all. I had only slept with Sian once and that was months ago. We hadn't been together ever since we got together. Of course I wanted to, but I didn't want to push Sian. It's a sore subject and I wasn't going to ruin everything by pushing her or even trying to talk about it.

Yanno Goosy told my bout you guys." she added as I frowned. "What?" I asked as she continued. "Well about the pact and that you actually fell in love but then you screwed it all up and well Sian took you back." she said as I almost choked on my own saliva.

"Mack… I uhm." I felt awkward. No one knew except Goose and well now also Mack. I was afraid she might be offended since we didn't tell her.

"Also Goose doesn't understand why Sian took back a mentally challenged bitch like you anyways." she stated as I widened my eyes.

"What!" I barked at her. "What did you just call me? Why would you say that?" I said as my voice cracked. I didn't deny it. Hearing Mack to shit about me, in front of me, hurt me.

"Not my words… his words. I think it's kind of romantic how you two found each other and all. Plus everyone screws up. I have too." she stated as I calmed down and smiled weakly.

"Well what was so horrible you did?" I asked as she smiled.

"Well I once stole a cookie of my second grade boyfriend. He broke up with me after that." she said sounding very serious while looking at the ground. I started laughing as I sat next to her.

"Well that's alright." I said to her as she shrugged. "Mack did Goose tell you what I did… how I screwed up." I asked as she smiled.

"He did." she stated as I nodded. I knew Goose was angry at me for hurting Sian. Eventually it was between me and Sian. Everything was good between us. But I knew had to make things right between me and Goose too now.

"I have to go." I said glancing at the clock. "I'm meeting up with Sian." I said while getting up and walking towards the door. "Thanks for the chat Mack." I said looking back at her making her smile.

"No problem." she stated. "Now go! You'll be late and we don't want you to be in the hamburger bed." she said as I frowned.

"The hamburger bed?" I asked as she chuckled. "The dog house duhh." she said as I laughed out loud. "See you later alligator." she said waving me out.

"In a while crocodile." I said as I walked out the room. I made my way over to Sian's which was on the side of the building. The only reason why she would come by to our bathroom was because of the shitty ones they had, and well me now that we were seeing each other. I reached her door as I knocked on it.

"It's open." I heard her voice say as I walked in making her smile.  
>"Hey boo." she stated as I smiled and crawled on her bed. I quickly snuggled into her as she chuckled. "Someone wants some snuggles." she said smirking at me while I was tracing circles on her stomach.<p>

"Hmm I always want snuggles from you." I stated as she kissed my head. I looked up and kissed her lips. I cupped her face and played with her hair while kissing her. I repositioned myself and crawled on top of her. Her hands wrapped themselves around my waist and hugged me close. I started kissing her deeply as her tongue was begging for entrance.

I granted the access and let our tongues battle, twirl around each other. I started tracing kisses across her jaw line and gently sucked on her neck, careful not to leave a mark. While moving up kissing her near her ear I accidentally applied pressure with my thigh on her center and made her moan quietly. I leaned up and looked at her. I was lost for words as she looked at me confused.

"What's wrong?" she asked as I cleared my voice.

"Nothing I just … sorry I'm being stupid." I said as I closed the gap trying to kiss her again but she pushed me away gently.

"No, what was that?" she asked as I shrugged.

"Sian it was nothing." I chuckled and tried to kiss her again but she shuffled away. "Sian." I grunted as she lifted herself up on her elbows.

"No tell me. You looked kind of… scared?" she said to me as I sighed.

"I just don't want to push you." I stated as she looked at me confused.

"Push me? Into what." she laughed as I looked to the side trying to state the obvious. I raised my eyebrows and pointed at her whole body before waving between us. "Honey if you wanted to play charades, you only had to ask." she joked as I rolled next to her letting out a frustrated groan. "How about you tell me what's going on." she said looking at me her head resting on her hand while her other traced over my sides.

"You know what I'm talking about; the two of us in bed. I know it's not something you like to talk about, because last time…" I started rambling as she quirked her head up.

"Wait you think I don't want to have sex with you?" she said sounding confused and slightly amused. I felt very self-conscious as I looked at my own stomach playing with her fingers. "Soph trust me when you kiss me like that, there is nothing else I want." she stated as I frowned.

"I thought… why did you never tell me?" I asked her as she tried to hold her laugh.

"Well you never said anything about it and whenever we do get to a very heated make out session you stop. I just figured you didn't want to or you weren't ready." she said as I groaned.

"Oh my God, are you serious?" I said sounding frustrated as she started laughing.

"The only reason why I'm not too keen to have sex right now is because I'm on the end of my period. It's not hurting or anything. I'm just scared any leftover blood will come and you'll be grossed out." she said as I nodded.

I kissed her as I started stroking her hair. "I can't believe all this time…" I chuckled as she smiled. I gathered all the courage I had and started kissing her gently. I let my hand go under her shirt as she smiled. It wasn't the first time I stroked her bare skin and I knew she liked it. The way she was looking at me I could tell she was really not expecting to have sex with me right now.

I couldn't care less about the leftover blood. When my girl was telling me 'I want you to do me', but a bit of leftover blood is stopping me. Hell I wasn't going to let that one go. I kissed her lips and let my hand travel down. She gasped as I reached her center.

"Is this okay?" I whispered as she nodded. I gulped and unbuttoned her jeans. Her eyes never left mine as the room was filled with a tension you could cut with a blunt knife. She leaned up and kissed me while gripping my neck. She flipped me over as my hand slipped out of her pants. She started kissing me more feverishly. Her lips went from mine to my collarbone and she pushed my shirt of my shoulder leaving a trail of kisses from my collarbone to my shoulder.

"Take off your shirt." she said as I obliged quickly taking it off. I wasn't as smooth as I wanted to be as my head got stuck in my shirt making her chuckle. "Here let me." she said as she helped me out of it. I could see her eyes trailing over my chest as I smiled and bit my lip. She straddled me and sat up taking off her shirt as she revealed her naked breast. I gasped as she kissed me and her breast touched mine. We hadn't been together for so long I forgot how great this felt.

"Sian." I moaned loudly as she played with my nipples. I roamed my hands through her hair, sucking violently on her neck. I knew I wasn't supposed to leave a mark, but I was too wrapped up in her. Her eyes, her body, her smell, her breath, everything drove me crazy. She stood up as I looked up confused. "Sian what are you…?" I started asking as she took of her jeans and her underwear giving me a view of her dripping center. She slipped off the bed and sat down on her knees right by the bed on the floor. She started kissing me from my breast to my stomach as she pushed down my pants. If I hadn't been wet, I surely was now. Sian sat back on the bed and kissed my lips.

"I love you." she whispered in my ear as she was drawing patterns on my center. I gasped every time she brushed over my clit. I couldn't bear it any longer. I needed her inside of me.

"Sian please." I begged her as she smiled.

"You only have to ask." she whispered as she stroked my clit more often making me moan loudly. As much as I enjoyed this, I wanted to have sex differently. I wanted her inside of me.

"Babe I want you inside of me." I breathed loudly trying to suppress a moan.

"You don't like this." she pouted as I chuckled a little but turned back to a serious face as she was brushing over my folds.

"I do." I choked as her tips were teasing me, going slightly inside. "I just- I want to feel you." I said breathlessly moaning the ending of my sentence. "Plea…" I moaned as she pushed two fingers passed my folds inside of me. "Hmm Sian." I moaned as she picked up a pace. "Babe." I breathed loudly as she went a bit faster. As she curled her fingers I managed to utter a half swallowed sentence that sounded more like a moan than anything else.

"Jesus babe." I moaned loudly as she started go even faster. I could feel the pleasure building up in a peak. I started moaning more frequently as she licked my nipples sending shivers down my body. "Baby." I breathed as she kissed down my body and made her way between my legs. I felt her hands massage my breast and play with my nipples while her tongue was swirling across my clit and her fingers were doing magic. I could feel myself nearing the edge. "Baaabe." I moaned loudly as she curled her fingers. I knew there was only one good flick left and I was sent into oblivion. "Baby I'm gonna." I managed to say as her tongue circled my clit and pushed me over the edge. I moaned loudly, while my legs were shuddering. She curled her fingers one more time making me flinch while I rode out my orgasm.

She kissed her way up her fingers still inside of me as I was looking at the ceiling. "Fuck me." I said breathlessly as she chuckled.

"I thought I just did." she said right before kissing me. I could taste myself on her lips and moaned a little. "Hmm you still turned on." she chuckled as I blushed.

"I want to do you first though." I smirked as she chuckled.

"You don't have to, with all the leftover blood and all it's just not…" she started saying as I frowned. I kissed her silent.

"Nonsense, now get on top of me." I stated as she straddled me and her fingers slipped out of folds making me squeal.

"Sorry… too fast?" she chuckled as I shook my head.

"Doesn't matter." I said as I leaned up and kissed her. "I want you to stay right there, I want you to come on top of me." I said as her eyes grew darker. I kissed her deeply as rubbed her nipples. I knew she liked her nipples to be touched during sex, it was something to helped her go over the edge. I smiled and stroked her thighs. She leaned up and took my hand. She put it on her center while dividing two fingers.

"Get inside of me." she demanded as I felt myself getting wetter by the minute. I pushed my fingers inside of her as she bowed her head back. I could see her chest rising more quickly as I picked up my pace. I used my thumb to put pressure on her clit as her hips were beckoning to my rhythm. She was practically riding my fingers. She moaned so loudly with every pace. "Sophie." she moaned loudly as I curled my fingers.

"God babe I've missed you so much." she moaned with a high pitch voice as she started beckoning her hips uncontrollably. I started pumping faster as I rubbed her nipple with my other hand. I knew she was close as she kissed me deeply. She pushed my fingers deeper and deeper with her hips while gripping my neck. Her nipples were brushing over mine every time she beckoned forward. I could feel her walls clamp around my fingers as I said. "I want to see you."

She sat up again and put her hands on my breast. "Soph I think … I'm ready…now." she moaned loudly as she screamed and rode out her orgasm… literally. I had never seen the perks of her bendable ballerina body, but I had now. Her hips rolled into my hands so naturally… so beautifully. I was dripping wet; I wanted her to fuck me again right then and there.

She dropped down on me and kissed my neck. "You're amazing." she said as her eyes closed. She was rubbing my arms as her fingers found their way to my center.

"Sian." I squealed as she dipped her tips in.

"Someone wants me to fuck her again." she smirked rubbing the wetness between her fingers as I shook my head in disbelief.

"Yes and baaabe." I said slapping her hands away.

"What?" she chuckled. "You want me to but you don't want me too?" she asked raising her eyebrow.

"Well you just had a mind blowing orgasm and…" I started saying as she interrupted me. "Someone's sure of themselves.". I raised an eyebrow and looked at her. "Shouldn't I be?" I said seriously as she burst out laughing.

"Yes you should, just keeping you in line jees." she stated as I chuckled.

"And you should have a breather. You can do me in like… 5 minutes." I smirked as she laughed loudly. She kissed me as her hands roamed all over my body.

"I suppose 5 minutes will have to do." she said winking at me. "Hmm I guess were both doing the rubbing hu." She chuckled as I nodded.

"I love you." I said quietly as her face changed and she smiled.

"I love you too." she said. "I still want my foot rub after this yanno." She stated making me roll my eyes.

"I wasn't expecting anything less " I smiled.

"Good…now let's see how much more you love me when I'm working down here." she said getting under the covers.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

**Sian**

A stray of hear was covering her face as I smiled and brushed it away. She was breathtaking, and she made my heart melt when she slept. Somehow she managed to pout in her sleep. I started stroking her hair as her eyes fluttered. I smiled while two blue eyes met mine.

She smiled shyly and asked "How long have you been watching me?" I chuckled pushing myself up on one arm.  
>"Not long." I answered as she smiled at me. She stretched as I watched her closely.<p>

"Stop watching." she said pushing my arm.  
>"Why?" I asked her as she shrugged.<br>"I don't know." she said while she buried her head in my chest. "Hmmm." she said going over my naked breast. "Boobies." she whispered as I burst out laughing. I shook my breasts and smirked.  
>"I think they're trying to say good morning." I stated as she quirked up an eyebrow. She quickly kissed my left breast and looked at me.<p>

I placed my head on the pillow and started to stroke the back of her neck, quietly playing with the strands of her hair. "Are you okay with everything that happened last night?" She asked me as I looked at her and furrowed my brows.  
>"Why wouldn't I be?" I stated making her blush.<br>"I don't know… some things, they happen in the heat of moment and after you've slept on it, well sometimes you get a different perspective." she stated and I looked at the ceiling.  
>"Like you did before." I muttered as she cupped my cheek and pushed it sideways making me look at her.<p>

"Sian." she said looking at me wide-eyed. I closed my eyes and sighed.  
>"Sorry." I whispered pursing my lips as she frowned.<br>"Where did that come from?" she asked me as I shrugged.  
>"I guess a part of me is still scared I might wake up to a note on my pillow again." I said nervously biting my lip. Her face fell and she looked away releasing my face from her hand. "Soph." I said quietly as she sat up. "Don't go." I uttered grasping her arm while she frowned even deeper.<p>

"I'm not going anywhere Sian." she said looking disappointed. "I know I made a mistake. I told you why I did it at the time." she said and I nodded quickly. "But that's not enough I guess. Is that why you were watching me? Scared that I might leave you? How long have you been awake?" she started asking rounds of questions as I sat quickly up on my knees and placed myself as close to her as I could.

"I watch you sleep because I like it and I woke 'bout 15 minutes before you did." I said defensively hearing her sigh. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said it like that, I thought you were trying to say you regretted it again." I said looking down. "Like I said I'm a bit scared, because I love you and I don't want to get hurt like that again. You have this hold on me and it scares me sometimes." I said rubbing against my arms trying to hold the shivers in. She looked at me and her gaze softened.

"Me too and I don't regret anything, I never did." she whispered as I smiled.  
>"Now can we go a bit easier on each other? You love me and I love you and we just made love last night. This shouldn't be a morning to fight." I said to her as she smiled.<br>"You're right." she stated.  
>"I'm sorry I wasn't thinking straight." I muttered while she was enveloping me in a pandabearhug.<br>"Stop saying that and I know you're not thinking straight. I wouldn't want you to start. You stay right here and think gay my love." she said making me laugh loudly while she climbed on top of me.

I pecked her lips and stated "Mardi Gras is this weekend.". She nodded as she sat up on one elbow. "What are you gonna wear." I smirked as she traced a finger between my breasts.  
>"Don't know yet." she said, her gaze never leaving my chest.<p>

"Sophie." I said snapping my fingers in front of her eyes as she looked up.  
>"Yeah?" she squeaked making me laugh.<br>"You're unbelievable." I said shaking my head as she raised an eyebrow.  
>"I know. You told me last night, remember?" she said kissing my nose and rising out of my bed.<p>

"Where are you going?" I asked her as she started putting on her clothes.  
>"We have class in about an hour. I want to get breakfast." she stated while putting on her shirt and fixing her tie. I frowned and mimicked her actions. I put on my leotard and my clothes over it. "Looking fine Powers." she commented as I smiled. I eyed at her body, noticing her shirt coming slightly out of the back of her skirt. I smiled making my way over to her, I wrapped my arms around her and thumbed over her waistline before putting her shirt nicely in her skirt while getting a flustered look from Sophie.<p>

I could almost see her gulp as I smirked. "You ready?" I questioned as seemingly took a deep breath and nodded disorientated. My smile widened as I saw a pink shade creep up her cheeks.

"Fucking stop smirking!" she said knowing exactly what had me so bemused.  
>"I can't, you make it so adorably impossible." I chuckled and she hit my arm playfully.<p>

…

We sat at breakfast as Mack sat in front of us. "Oh bonkers!" she said excited as I frowned slightly.  
>"What?" I asked her as grinned widely.<br>"Nothing." she beamed as I looked at Sophie curiously who was blushing shamelessly. I touched her arm gently making her look at me. I gave her a questioning look as she shrugged.  
>"You two just seem to be… beaming." she smirked as I chocked on milk.<p>

"Goosey." Mack said happily. My heart jumped nervously as I saw my curly haired friend pass by. I knew we hadn't been on good terms lately. To say he didn't agree with me giving Sophie a second chance was an understatement. "Join us babe." she said as he shook his head looking towards Sophie. "Goose." She whined.  
>He sighed deeply and I also asked "Goose come on man…I haven't spoken to you in ages." I stated. He was about to snarl at me as Mack stood up and tugged at his shirt. His eyes softened and he sat down shooting daggers at us.<p>

"How have you been." I asked him trying to make amends as he nodded. He didn't really say anything for the rest of breakfast till Mack mentioned Mardi Gras.

"So what are you guys gonna wear?" She asked us as I shrugged.  
>"Don't know yet. Maybe I'll go as a power ranger." I joked as Mack looked at me wide-eyed.<br>"Seriously?" she said carefully sending me into a fit of giggles.  
>"No, I don't think I could find those white boots they all have." I stated as she chuckled. "Besides we'll probably not even get to choose. There has been a dress code every year, this year shouldn't be any different." I stated as I stroked Sophie's thigh under the table.<p>

"Well duhh, the theme is already up. I meant what will you go as with the theme in mind." she stated making me frown.  
>"It's up? What is it?" I asked her as her smile widened.<br>"It's Victorian masked ball of the 19th century." She stated.

"Sounds nice." Sophie smiled while Goose still gave her the cold shoulder. "What do you think you will go as?" she asked Mack who smiled.  
>"I might go as a jester. Every other girl is going to be wearing gowns anyways and I want to stand out." she grinned.<br>We both nodded and Sophie added. "We wouldn't know you any other way." We all chuckled apart from Goose that shot his gaze at Sophie.

"And what's that supposed to mean? That she shouldn't be taken serious?" he said confusing us all, even Mack.  
>"Babe, I don't think she meant… besides I like." she started saying as he cut her off.<br>"Should everyone else be a serious stuck-up bitch like you Sophie?" he snarled at her as I stood up looking at him wide-eyed.  
>"Goose." I squeaked looking around me. Thankfully there was only another small group of people in the room. I didn't want a scene; I had had enough of those concerning Sophie.<p>

"What Sian? She breaks your heart, uses you and tosses you aside and you let her back in. Don't you understand she'll do the exact same thing all over again?" he said with a high pitch voice. Mack stood up and pushed him backwards.  
>"Stop it." she warned holding up a finger. "I mean it Goose. Sophie and Sian are my friends and they were yours too once upon a time." she stated as I nodded.<br>"She's not even denying it! Look at her." he said pointing at Sophie who had her head bent down. She sighed heavily and stood up.

"Goose, I know what I did was wrong. I know okay. I was a complete jerk, but I got a second chance with Sian because she knows everything." she stated as I stood next to her and smiled.  
>"Well you haven't really cared to share your story with others, have you?" he stated angrily. Sophie approached him, their faces close to one another. It was like a dog about to bite another dog, ears down, growling at each other until their faces would be near on another and silence would wrap around the situation before the first dog would bite and break that icy silence.<p>

"You don't have to tell me what I did wrong, because I know. What you do have to tell me is why it matters so much to you." she hissed while pushing him backwards. "I know I've been a jerk, but do tell Goose. Why does it matter so much to you? I had my reasons, the person that needs to know them does and…" she was rambling as Goose slapped her face. I gasped loudly while Sophie rubbed her cheek.

I knew Sophie used to be in a gang. I didn't know if she had a history of violence, but I wasn't going to take any chances. I walked over to her putting myself between them as her gaze softened after I rubbed her cheek.

"And what? Everybody else doesn't matter?" he spat as Mack ran off. "Mack." he said trying to hold on to her.  
>"Leave me the fuck alone." she said obviously upset and walked away while Goose started walking back to us.<br>"Goose leave it." I said to him standing in front of Sophie. He looked at me with such a different expression. "I don't understand you. Everybody deserves a second chance; it's my business to give one to Sophie not yours. Soph is right, why does it matter so much to you? Sophie was your friend, a good friend." I stated as he snorted.

"Good friends don't do the things she did." he stated as I frowned.

"She didn't do it to you did she though?" I asked him but he was already walking away. I turned around and sighed deeply looking at Sophie. I took hold of her chin and examined her cheek.  
>"I'm fine." she said quietly as I breathed out shakily. I hugged her tightly as her hands balled into fists. I quickly looked behind me, but there was no one.<p>

"What is it?" I asked her but she shook her head.  
>"I was only thinking of what just happened." she stated while I nodded. "I don't know why he's acting like this, I know you're his best friend, but what the hell was that? I mean I understand he's upset at me for what I did, but the Goose I knew wouldn't resort to violence." She stated upset as I kissed her lips.<br>"I don't know what's going on babe. Let's just put our minds to Mardi Gras yeah, we'll figure it out after." I stated kissing her lips again.

_**4 days later**_

I took the brush in my hand and started brushing my hair back into a bun. I applied some pink lipstick and started on my eyes. I decided to put my eyes a bit darker than usual as a contrast to the color of my eyes and of my dress. Thankfully Sophie and I found some Ball gowns in the theatre department. My gown was light green with lace. I couldn't wait to see Sophie in her dress; a yellow gown, smaller, but magnificent nevertheless.

A knock on the door startled me. "Soph I'm not ready yet, besides you're not supposed to know who is who, that would defeat the purpose of a masked ball." I shouted but the knocking didn't stop. "Fine, spoil the surprise. If this is for an urgent booty call you can." I started joking as I opened the door and was met by my own mother. "Mum?" I said with a high pitch voice. "I didn't realize uhm I uhm." I started stuttering as she entered my room.

"If you're wondering if I heard all the nonsense then the answer you're looking for is yes my dear." she said and I felt a shortness of breath. "Don't worry dear, I couldn't care less about your sex life." she said as I widened my eyes.

"Mum." I squeaked "Can you not?" I muttered as she chuckled.  
>"I'm here to see that you keep your… booty call as you would say it in line." she said making me feel even more embarrassed. "Fuck sakes Mother." I stated. I knew she was trying to make me feel uncomfortable, she always was. What others considered an open relationship with my mother, I knew it was her way of making me feel as bad as she was able.<p>

"What do you mean anyways by keeping _Sophie_ in line?" I asked her and she pursed her lips.  
>"I don't want any shenanigans. I know what Sophie is like and the fact that she disappeared for 3 weeks is still in the back of my mind. Now I've already told Sophie that she's on thin ice, I'm just telling you to keep her from and certainly not to get her into trouble. As much as you would like to believe that all I care about is money, I do have her best interest at heart. Yours too for that matter." she stated making me snort.<p>

"I'll keep her in line now can you please leave my room." I said to her as she nodded and got up from my bed. I closed the door behind her and growled loudly hitting the door with my foot.

"Fuck sakes." I muttered. As if Sophie could get into much trouble at the ball, there was no alcohol, no drugs and Christopher and his boys weren't attending.

…

I entered the ball while Tchaikovsky's music was already playing. I smiled hearing my favorite pieces burst through the speakers. We all had taken ballroom dance classes; it was part of the curriculum. Every year, right before Christmas we were taught or more like reminded to the most popular ballroom dances.

They had made boards where all the upcoming dances appeared on, just like you used to have little dance books where you had to write your dance partners down for each dance. I smiled at a brown haired girl sitting by the punch. I didn't need to take off her mask to know who it was. I knew the way she walked and acted it was her.  
>I walked over to her and whispered in her ear "You look very elegant tonight my lady.". She turned around quickly and smiled.<p>

I looked at the crowd dancing to Strauss' famous Waltz. "So many other couples are in each other's arms, it makes me wonder if we might be similarly occupied." I said smiling at her and reaching my hand out to her.  
>"Woaw quoting the King and I ay." she said winking at me. "How could I say no to such an offer?" she smiled as she placed her hand in mine. "I hope you know the male steps because I don't." she said whispering in my ear.<p>

"Please, I'm a dancer I know all the dances both ways." I stated as she smiled. "All right." she said while I took her to the dance floor and started leading. "I think our anonymousness has been breached." I stated making her frown.  
>"What makes you say that?" she asked as I quirked up an eyebrow.<br>"We're the only two girls dancing together, I believe it's a no brainer." I said making her chuckle.

"I'm sure it'll be an eventful night either way." she stated as I smiled.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

**Sian**

I didn't know where Sophie was all I good see was smoke. I wanted to go look for her, but she was pulling me with her.

"Sian let's go." She yelled. I started panicking, I looked behind me but yet again was the smoke clouding my vision. Not only did it cloud my vision, but I could feel clouds of smoke entering my lunges as I kept on breathing. I coughed while the smoke started to get thicker.

"I'm not leaving you here!" she yelled as I finally looked at her. Her blue eyes were begging me to go with her.

_2 hours earlier_

"I didn't realize you were a good dancer Ms. Webster." I smirked at her while she shrugged.  
>"My dad taught me when I was little, I can do a mean lindy hop too." she winked making me laugh.<br>"Well you'll have to show me that sometime." I flirted with her, feeling on top of the world having the girl of my dreams in my arms. She smiled and winked at me.

"I might go get something, does the lady desire anything." she said with a very posh accent. I smiled and agreed.  
>"I'll accompany you my dear." I said playing along while we made our way to the bar.<p>

"You're blowing your covers you know." we heard a goofy voice say behind us.  
>"Hmm well sorry Mack." I said to her as her smile dropped.<br>"How did you know it was me!?" she asked me with a minor upset tone. She started pouting and sat down. She seemed like a child whose toy was just taken away.  
>"Lucky guess I suppose." I said sitting next to her. "Where's Goose?" I asked her as she shrugged.<br>"I haven't seen him since before. I actually don't want to see him." she stated as I bit my lip. I didn't want to cause any trouble for her. She didn't have anything to do with this situation and I felt pretty guilty about it.  
>"I'm sorry babes." I said to her and her smile crooked up slightly.<br>"It's not your fault, it's him that's acting like a donkey's behind." she stated as I tried holding in my laughter. She sure did have a way with words. "People are starting to think he's jealous." she said grabbing a cup forcefully as I frowned.

"What do you mean?" I asked her as she sighed.  
>"I mean people are starting to think he f…" she stopped mid-sentence sighing. I grabbed her arm and looked at her seriously.<br>"What?" I voiced while she clenched her teeth.  
>"They think he fancies you." she stated as I nearly choked on my own saliva.<br>"What!" I almost laughed but her face didn't light up.  
>"I know it's not true. I know the way he looks at me is completely different. I also know that even if he did fancy you, you'd still be all tits and fanny so." she chuckled lightening the mood as I smiled gently.<p>

"I definitely don't fancy him, I promise." I told her as she nodded and smiled.  
>"I know." she said smiling. I looked at Sophie who seemed to have disappeared on me. I frowned slightly.<br>"Did you see where Sophie went?" I asked Mack and she shrugged. She shook her head and took another sip from her drink. I mimicked her actions and downed a bit of my glass.

An Irish fiddle came on as I looked confused at Mack. "I didn't know this was also in the program." I said smirking at her as she shrugged. She took my hand and started dancing. We were all taught one folk dance: dancing in pairs while forming a circle. I didn't realize it would ever come of use, even in themed balls like this one. I giggled dancing along with Mack.

"You remember the steps pretty well." I said to her and she smiled widely.  
>"It's my freaking favorite." she stated. "I wish Goosey would make his identity known." she said crunching up her nose.<br>"Me too mate." I said. Careful what you wish for people say, because soon enough we heard an awful rumble.

"You know what mate, I'm sick of your attitude." Sophie said screaming at him. A spark of panic rose inside of me. I could see Goose's face red with anger swinging his fists at her.  
>"What the hell is going on?" I hear Mack's voice say. Her tone was shaky and I could hear her breath within her voice. I didn't quit know what to do.<p>

"What's your problem." I heard Sophie shriek.  
>"<em>You're<em> my problem Sophie. You keep screwing people over and they take you back. Do you kick on it or something? Did you kick on the face of your girlfriend when she died? Did you kick on your mates' face when they went to jail hu?" he screamed at her as she fell silent.

"How do you know about that?" she almost whispered as goose snorted.  
>"Not so tough, now that your secret's out are you?" he said to her venom tangling around his voice. He pushed her back against the wall. It happened faster than I could register. He was whispering something in her ear and her face turned.<p>

"You don't know what you're talking about!" she screamed at him. The music stopped as she pushed him backwards. "You've got it all wrong you idiot." she shouted making him laugh.

"All I know is: you were there and she's dead. You might not have been armed, but you killed her!" he screamed at her. She punched him in the face flinging him backwards into the table, where punch and appetizers were lying before but were now dripping onto the ground. His curly hair had gotten flattened by the liquid, and there was blood dripping from his lip.

"You don't know shit." she stated angrily as a loud bang occurred. I found myself lying on the ground and next thing I knew smoke was filled up in the room.

….

"Sophie." I whispered but there was someone else shaking me.  
>"Sian wake up, please!" the voice pleaded as I saw Mack. Her jester-make-up that was cheery before was now dripping down her face. It was very hot in the room and I couldn't see anything.<p>

"Mack?" I said. I couldn't find my point of balance. Everything seemed so blurry and shady as if I was dreaming. "What's going on?" I managed to say as she got me up. "Where's Sophie?" I asked her but she wasn't responding.

"There's no time we need to go." she yelled at me as I saw a couple of flames wrapping their arms around the stage where the DJ was sitting before. I frowned confused. What the hell had happened, the last thing I remembered was Sophie and Goose.

I didn't know where Sophie was, all I could see was smoke. I wanted to go look for her, but she was pulling at me.

"Sian let's go." She yelled. I started panicking, I looked behind me but yet again the smoke was clouding my vision. Not only did it cloud my vision, but I could feel clouds of smoke entering my lunges as I kept on breathing. I coughed while the smoke started to get thicker.

"I'm not leaving you here!" she yelled as I finally looked at her. Her blue eyes were begging me to go with her.

"I can't go without Sophie." I yelled at her as she shook her head.  
>"She might already be outside. Please, we need to go now!" she said as I was shaking my head. She wouldn't take no for an answer. She wrapped her arms around me, I wanted to get myself off of her but it was like my body was sleeping. I had tingles everywhere and I had a stinging feeling by the side of my head. She started walking as fast as she could with my arms around her as we got to the exit. All I could see were flames though.<p>

"Bollocks! Okay, Sian we're gonna have to run." she yelled at me. "Did you hear me?" she said as I looked at the flames. Bit by bit my head started clearing up and I could see the flames more thoroughly. I looked at her face blackened from the fire and nodded. My body was still failing me as I tried to run. I could only manage a certain amount of speed and I inevitably felt the flames on my skin.

We stumbled out of the building as a couple of people were there to pick us up. I didn't quit remember what happened next. Somehow I had made it into an ambulance and was breathing oxygen.

"19 year old female, caught in a fire. She has second degree burns on her arms and neck and has a head-injury." The man said as they handed me over to what I suspected to be doctors.

I could see some of my classmates in gurneys that were being rolled over to another room. "Her name?" Someone asked.

"Sian Powers. Her mother has been contacted, she's the principal of the school." they stated as I must've dozed out. I woke up with my mum in the seat next to mine.

"Mum." I said shakily as she looked up and smiled.  
>"Hello dear, I'll go tell the doctor you're awake." she stated as I frowned.<br>"Wait mum what happened?" I said with a hoarse voice while she pursed her lips.  
>"You were caught in a fire, we all were. Thankfully no one has had any major injuries. You have second degree burns on your arms and neck. Thankfully they're not severe; they say you should be alright in about 3 weeks if you take care of it. And you bumped your head, but you're alright now." she said sounding relieved.<p>

"How long have I been asleep." I asked her and she smiled.  
>"Only a couple of hours, they gave you a sedative to sleep." she said as I nodded.<p>

"What about…" I started saying but she cut me off.  
>"Sophie is okay… physically." she said as I frowned. My heart started beating faster while I started feeling nervous.<br>"What's that supposed to mean?" I said, my voice trembling with fear.

"I kicked her out." she said looking at the ground. If I didn't know any better, I would've thought she felt bad about it.

"What do you mean? Out of the hospital." I started asking questions frantically. She sat down on the side of my bed and pushed my chest down.  
>"Calm down." she said stroking my head. "Don't start a fit now okay?" she said as I started frowning deeply. "I had to kick her out of the college." she said as my eyes almost popped out of my head.<p>

"What!" I screamed as I sat up on my elbows only to feel the stinging feeling of what must've been my burns. "Aahw." I said flinching and lying back down.

"I said don't make a fit." she said sternly. "I know you don't think much of me Sian, but I had to. Even if I didn't want to, I had no choice. She caused the fire, and I had to kick her out. My hands are tied and the board is breathing down my neck. She's lucky no one died. She could've been in a lot of trouble you know." she stated.

"But…how do you know she did it?" I asked her. All I remembered was a loud bang and then things started getting clouded.  
>She sighed loudly and said "It was the punch that made the electricity wires defect. It caused somewhat of an explosion."<p>

"Punch?" I said sounding confused while she kept stroking my head.

"We all witnessed her and your other friend getting not so friendly with eachother, she pushed him into the table and caused it. Don't get me wrong your friend Abe is on very thin ice. One step wrong and he's out too. The only reason he's not out now is because his record was clean. Sophie's record, well it's not so clean, it's even very thick wouldn't you agree?" she said to me as I coughed a little grasping for the glass of water.

"Abe? Who… wait Goose?" I asked her as she nodded. "Yes darling however you call him, the curly haired one that was handing out fists to your girlfriend." she stated as I was taken aback.

"I.." I didn't know what to say. I was lost for words. "Is she okay though? Where is she now?" I asked her on the verge of tears. I knew Sophie getting kicked out wasn't the end of the world, but there was so much to take in.

"She's outside. I was going to get her after I told the doctor you woke up, he still needs to check on you. I'll go get both of them." she stated.  
>"Mum?" I said making her turn around. "Does she know?" I asked her as she nodded. She disappeared through the doorway as I hit my head against the pillow. I breathed in shakily taking it all in. Everything was going to be different.<p>

"Sian?" I heard a familiar voice say. I looked up and was met with her sky blue eyes. I smiled as she walked over to me. As soon as she sat on my bed she started crying.

"Babe it's okay." I said comforting her. I rubbed my hand against her back and kissed her head every time her body shook from the sobs.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

**Sophie**

I couldn't stop crying, I felt her arms wrap around me. "It's okay." her voice kept saying. "You'll go to another school, yeah." she said as I frowned looking up to her.

"What?" I asked her as she looked confused.  
>"I know being kicked out seems like the end of the world but." she started saying as I shook my head.<br>"No, that's not what it is about. Well it is, but not why I'm crying like a freaking idiot." I said to her.  
>"Hey, don't talk 'bout my girlfriend that way." she said making me smile a little. I pecked her lips while sniffing and snuggled my head into the crook of her neck.<p>

"Ouch." she said after I shuffled around her neck. I quickly sat up and looked at her fearfully.  
>"It's okay, it's just these stupid burns." she stated smiling a little as I felt the tears coming up again. I couldn't believe what I had done, what we had done. Because of us she had burns running down from her neck to her arms. "Hey, stop crying. I'm okay see." she said winking at me.<p>

"I just can't believe what I did to you. You could've died in there." I said to her as she furrowed her eyebrows.  
>"Nonsense, I'm right here." she said trying to lighten the mood. "Don't feel guilty about it." she said tucking her finger under my chin and raising it. "You might have been kicked out because of this, but it <em>was<em> an accident Soph." she said to me while wrapping her arms around my shoulder and playing with the back of my hair. "I know you wouldn't do anything like that intentionally." she said making me smile.

"If we hadn't fought though." I started saying but she put her hand on my mouth.  
>"If I hadn't told Goose anything about it, it wouldn't have occurred. If you wouldn't have left me in that hote lroom, you wouldn't have anything to fight about, etc etc etc. we could go on forever like that." she said as I looked down.<p>

"I'm not so sure that leaving you in that room was the actually reason why he was swinging fists at me in the first place." I said my gaze not leaving her white hospital sheets.  
>"What?" she said asking me as I remembered the whole evening.<p>

…

_A curly figure looked me straight in the eyes but turned away. I saw his slim shade disappearing through the door. I frowned looking back at Sian who seemed conversing with Mack. I couldn't help but wonder what the hell his problem was. I glanced back at Sian looking if she was okay by herself. She seemed fine and with that I went through the door following his footsteps. _

_He was smoking with his back leaning against the wall. "Goose." I voiced picking up my skirt from the ground as I walked up the steps. "Can't we talk?" I asked him as he looked me right in the eye. _

"_I don't converse with your kind." he stated as I frowned.  
>"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked him as he shook his head and threw his cigarette on the ground. He crushed it and started walking towards me. He walked past me as I took hold of his arm trying to stop him. "Look mate, I don't know what's going on with you." I said to him but he shrugged his arm off. <em>

"_Can't you take a hint? I don't want to talk to you? You think you might have fooled everyone else around you, but you sure haven't fooled me." he stated making me frown. _

"_Goose I honestly don't know what you're talking about. If this is about Sian… yes I made a mistake, but I'm making amends for it now. I swear." I told him but he snorted. _

"_I'm not talking 'bout Sian. What I don't understand is that she hasn't seen through you. All you care about is yourself!" he spat. "Just leave me the fuck alone, I don't want you screwing me up too. I hope Sian sees through you soon enough and then you'll be all alone." he said pushing me against the door forcefully and walked away. I started to get worked up. It was frustrating not knowing what the hell he was on about. _

_I decided to go after him. "You know what mate…."_

…

_I felt a sudden wave of heat on my skin, like someone had punched me in the face. I coughed looking around and seeing a fire spreading quickly. Goose was lying on the ground in front of me; I got up and went over to him. _

"_Goose." I said but his eyes were closed. I looked around and saw people running around. They were screaming, their voices echoing through the room. "Okay." I started saying to myself. "Okay let's do this." I continued and picked him up before swinging him up on my shoulder. I tried getting up with all my forces but failed. "Come on man, why did you have to weigh so much?" I mumbled as I tried again putting all of my energy in my legs. I pushed as much as I could and finally stood up. I spread my legs trying to find balance. _

_I started walking around checking the room for anyone else. I tried looking for Sian but I couldn't see her. I couldn't see her or Mack and I knew I had to get out of there. I glanced at the whole room again and started panicking. I needed to know if she was okay, if she was getting out. _

"_Sian." I shouted breathing in the smoke that was flowing into the room. "Sia…" I shouted again but a cough interrupted me. I coughed loudly while stepping forward. "Sian!" I screamed desperately. "Mack?" I shouted hoping they might be together but no one answered, only agitated screams were heard and were also too loud for anyone to hear me._

"_Sophie! We need to go now dear." I heard a teacher say to me.  
>"What about the others? I need to know if my girlfriend's okay." I said to her as she nodded.<br>"Come on the firemen are already getting people out, they need us –the people that are able to get out on their own- to go." She said as I sighed. I nodded and followed her as she helped me carrying Goose. We handed him over to a fireman and got out of the building. _

_I looked for Sian in the parking lot, I scanned the whole area but couldn't see any flash white blonde hair. A doctor started talking to me and somehow he's voice wasn't getting through. _

"_Miss, miss." he said a bit louder and grabbed my arm. "Yeah." I breathed as he started leading me to an ambulance. "Here's another one, just disinfect these and she'll be fine." he said as they started checking me up. _

"_You should be fine, but we still need you to go to the hospital for a checkup okay?" she smiled as I nodded.  
>"Did everyone get out okay?" I asked her as she nodded.<br>"I think so, a couple of kids have been transported to the hospital because they had some bad burns, but other than that everyone's okay. You kids are very lucky." she said as I nodded. _

…_.._

_I sat down after the doctor checked me up. I heard they had brought Sian in over an hour ago. I was relieved everyone was okay, even though I kept rewinding the whole ordeal in my head. I pushed Goose, he fell and then everything went dark. _

_I kept replaying it in my head, but I couldn't find the cause to what happened. I could see Sian's mum approaching me and snapping me out of my thoughts. I looked anxiously up and said "Mrs. Powers.". She sat down next to me and folded her hands dramatically. _

"_Hello Sophie." she said quietly. She seemed awfully calm with everything that was happening.  
>"How is she?" I asked her as she sighed. I breathed in shakily; scared something would've been wrong.<br>"She has second degree burns and a cut to the head." she stated as I closed my eyes in agony. "She'll be alright though, they want to keep her for a couple of days because of the burns." she stated and I nodded. "You seem to be alright though." she said raising her eyebrows. I looked at her with a lump poking my throat. _

"_I guess." I mumbled as she put her hand on my shoulder.  
>"Sophie I need to tell you something." she said hesitantly as I frowned.<br>"yeah?" I replied.  
>"It was the punch that caused the fire." she said looking at me seriously.<br>"The punch?" I echoed her as she nodded.  
>"The fireman just told me. The board has already been contacted, it's policy. I'm sorry to tell you this but… I have to kick you out. I tried keeping you in line, but you're making it too hard." she said as I snapped my head to her. <em>

"_You're kicking me out of school?" I said not believing what she just told me.  
>"I'm sorry Sophie, you left me no choice. Your file is too big; burning down a building is immediate expulsion." She said as I felt overwhelmed with all kinds of feelings.<br>"But I didn't want to! He started… he should be the only one getting expelled, I shouldn't go down with him." I said sounding upset. She pursed her lips and looked down.  
>"He is not getting expelled Sophie." she stated as I widened my eyes.<br>"He's what?" I said angrily making her sigh.  
>"He's on thin ice don't get me wrong, but he's file was as good as non-existent on the contrary to yours. I'm sorry, it wasn't my decision, and the board has got my hands tide." She said as I clenched my teeth. She got up and started walking away. "I'm sorry dear." she said as I could feel the lump in my throat growing. I suddenly thought of Sian and the fact that it was my fault, our fault that she was hurt right now. I put my head in my hands and let the tears flow. I couldn't believe what had happened. <em>

_I decided to go look for Goose. I needed to know what the hell his problem was. His problem with me just had me kicked out; the least he could do was tell what the fuck it was. _

_I reached the waiting room where most kids were sitting down, waiting for the bus to school to get here or for their parents. I saw him sitting against the glass near the exit. "I need a word with you." I said to him but he just shrugged. I picked him up by his collar and dragged him out forcefully. _

"_What the fuck Sophie." He yelled at me as I pushed him. "Don't ever touch me again." he said with venom in his voice. _

"_I just got kicked out because of your little charade back there. A whole building nearly burnt down because of your 'problem'" I shouted at him pushing him into a corner. He tried pushing me away, even swinging his fists at me and I yelled "Don't even try that again mate, you have no IDEA where I come from and what I'm capable of.". He laughed bitterly. _

"_I know exactly what you're capable of Sophie, that's my whole problem with you." he spat at me as I shook my head.  
>"What does that mean? I want you to stop talking riddles, and start talking normally. I'm not joking Goose, I have as well as nothing to lose right now. The only thing you haven't taken away from me is Sian. Is that what you want? Sian to yourself?" I said angrily while he snorted at me. <em>

"_I don't want Sian, she's like my sister." he stated.  
>"Then what?" I said with a high pitch voice while throwing up my arms in the air. <em>

"_I know about everything Sophie. The gang, your girlfriend Cara." he said as I frowned.  
>"Okay… how? I don't understand." I said to him as he clenched his jaw.<br>"I'm Will Gohonder's cousin. He told me everything. How you got him in jail, how you basically told your girlfriend to act as bait and she died." He said to me as I took a step back. _

"_Will? Oh God I can't believe this chased down here." I said leaning against the wall and rubbing my eyes.  
>"You don't even deny it now do you?" he said to me as I started shaking my head.<br>"You don't even know what you're talking about. I never did those things, I don't know who turned them in as for Cara you have NO right talking 'bout her!" I said hitting the wall next to him. "I tried to save her and I loved her more than anything." I said my voice nearly breaking. _

"_I don't believe you." he stated as I huffed. "I visited him last month and when I mentioned I knew someone from Manchester and said your name, he warned me for your lies." he added.  
>"I don't care what you think. I was kicked out because of you, I won't forget that easily." I spat at him and walked away.<em>

…

She kissed my lips and cupped my face. "So he's this guy's cousin that you sent to jail." she said as I widened my eyes. "Supposedly sent, sorry." she stated and I nodded.  
>"Basically." I sighed as she frowned.<br>"You never told me the whole story you know. What did you supposedly do?" she asked me as I laid my head on her stomach. "Like what really happened in detail, not just the basics. Like what did they go to jail for and." she started firing questions as I interrupted her.  
>"Oh baby, can we take a rain check on that story." I said to her as she started stroking my hair.<br>"I guess." she mumbled and I looked up at her.  
>"I will tell you I promise. I' m just really tired; I'd rather not get into it right now. Ask me again another time?" I said to her as I pecked her lips.<br>"Okay. What are we going to do about us though, now that you're leaving." she asked me as I groaned.  
>"Baaabe." I moaned as she chuckled.<br>"Sorry, I'll ask you tomorrow." she said kissing me again.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

**Sophie**

"Don't cry." I said to her as I was putting some clothes in my suitcase. I could feel her gaze burning a hole in my back. I tried keeping it together by focusing on my clothes. 'I shouldn't forget the red top and the green shoes'. I swallowed deep as I heard her sigh. "Sian please." I said turning around. She looked at me and then to the ground, trying to hide her expression.

"I can't help it." she said desperately. I kneeled down to her and I put my hands on her knees. I made her look at me by putting my hand under her chin and lifted it up.

"It's not like it's forever. I know it'll be an adjustment but, we'll be okay. There are couples out in the world that have it much harder than we do." I said to her making her snort.

"I don't care about other couples." she said and I stared at her. "What? I don't mean to be rude, but this is my situation and saying someone else has it worse than I do doesn't make me feel better. It makes me feel worse and guilty for having them feelings." she pouted a little. I laughed and hugged her close.

"I'll come and see you on the weekends." I said carefully. I knew this wasn't going to be easy, the minute I told her I was going back to Manchester all hell broke loose. She started yelling at me and cursing. "I must say she did make a few fair points; one of them being that most of the people living in the city want to see my blood on the pavements of Cheetham Hill, but Manchester is my home. I can't stay here, so I need to go somewhere." I thought.

"I know." she said quietly. I sighed and rubbed her shoulders.

"It's not like we won't see each other for months. This is how most people that aren't in the same school do it." I said smiling as she nodded.

"You're right." she said laying her head on my shoulder. "I'm just sad that's all and well… worried." she continued and I stroked her neck. I kissed her temple while giving her an encouraging smile as I heard someone knock on the door. I was pretty sure it was Sian's mother coming to say 'bon voyage'. I saw her look down and I took hold of her hand.

"Time for me to go…walk me the car?" I smiled but she stayed silent. "Babe, I promise nothing will happen. I know you'd rather have me go somewhere else, but it's my home. I'm going to see my sister, I'll be okay." I said to her as she nodded. "I'm going to try to make amends with the people over there, okay? I'll be fine, no I'll be great." I said to her and she sighed. I heard another knock on the door. "I have to go so… Goodbye." I said and she frowned at me.

"Goodbye?" She murmured and I heaved my shoulders. "Whatcha mean goodbye?!" she said aggravated.

"Well I really have to go and you're not really working with me babe." I said dramatically. She groaned and roamed her hands through her hair. "So you will walk me to the car then?" I asked as a harsher knock voiced itself.

"Ofcourse! You thought I was gonna say goodbye here, when I have the chance to have a couple more minutes with you." she said as I smiled.

"You're cute when you're a bit agitated, you know that." I said to her as I approached her and kissed her lips. She kissed me back and I sensed a bit of desperation in her touch. Her hands were grasping the hair on the back of my neck as the door opened.

"Ready to go?" Ms. M said and I nodded holding Sian's hand. We walked to the stairs as she helped me with my suitcase and we finally got down to the door. I saw a black car waiting to take me to the bus station.

"I wish I could go to the bus station with you." she said as I smiled.

"You have class and finals are around the corner." I said to her as she hugged me. She put her arms around my neck and I could feel the desperation in her actions yet again. Her hands were gripping my shirt so tight and I felt a wave of sadness wash over me. "Come back for me." I heard her say with a high pitch voice. She sounded like a tiny little mouse.

I bit my lip and said "I promise I'll come back for you." I looked her in the eyes and kissed her. My lips were carefully placing themselves over hers trying to savor the taste, the feeling. The wind was howling while I was trying to hold onto her. It was like it was telling me it was time to let go of her. The car honked, I kissed her and hugged her as long as I could.

"I love you." I said to her as I could see the tears forming in her eyes. "Don't cry." I said pecking her lips and waved while I was getting into the car

"I love you too." I saw her mouthing and I smiled blowing her a kiss.

….

"Where have you been." Rosie said after she opened the door. I smirked a little and pushed my suitcase in front of her. "Hey Nick can you help me with this humongous rock that has been placed in front of me." she said sounding annoyed.

"Nick?" I murmured.

"Just some guy I met at the train station." she whispered and I shook my head.

"Slapper." I smiled slapping her ass.

"You should talk. I'm not the one getting expelled every place I set foot in." she said cocking her head. "Honestly sis' keep your pants on in public." she said and I slapped her arm.

"ROSIE!" I screeched. "That was _not_ the reason I got expelled." I said through my teeth while the guy took hold of my suitcase and dragged it inside.

"Well do indulge me then little sister, what did you do?" she asked me. I hadn't told Rosie what I did yet. I had just phoned her and told her I was coming home.

"I got into a fight." I said to her and she frowned.

"That's it?" she asked me and I sighed looking at the guy that was sitting at our table. "Nick can you leave please babe, my sister wants to talk and she doesn't want your ears sitting in on the conversation." She said and I blushed. She could be quit 'subtle' sometimes. She would tell the waiter his service sucked in front of everyone, or tell her mother in law her top was ugly. Sometimes I swear I thought she had a small case of Asperger's syndrome…that is without the high intelligence.

"Thanks, but you didn't have to be so rude to him." I said to her but she only rolled her eyes. I supposed eye rolling was a family tread, I could understand why people would find it annoying.

"Come on then, tell." she said as we sat down and she poured me some sort of liquor.

"It's too early for that Rosie." I said shuffling the glass away as she sighed loudly. She looked at me expectantly and I clenched my teeth. "The fight I got in, well it caused something. It uhm caused a fire." I said biting my lip as I could see the smile forming on her lips. "Don't you dare laugh." I said to her seriously as she put her hand on her mouth trying to keep her laughter from coming out.

"Rosie!" I shouted as got up giggling. "It's not funny." I said to her.

"I know, I'm sorry, I just don't understand you Sophie. I thought this was it, you finally had a good place at a good college and then you go do something ridiculous like that. I swear, sometimes I think you sabotage yourself on purpose." she said and I frowned.

"I didn't do that, the guy was just… he was asking for it!" I said loudly as I crossed my arms. She smiled and rubbed my shoulder.  
>…<p>

I was fiddling with my hands as I heard them come in. I kept rubbing them down on my trousers, they were so sweaty.

"So Rosie what's the deal with all the secrecy ay." I heard Greg say and my heart started beating louder. "What the…" he said standing in the doorway as he saw my face. I pursed my lips together and put all my courage in the same place; my voice. I needed to say something, anything.

"Hi." I eventually said with a raspy voice.

"What is she doing here? Are you out of your mind." he said harshly and I stood up raising my hands. "What the fuck Webster!" He shouted at me sister but she pushed him forward.

She said in a very 'Rosie' way "Just hear her out all right."

"Why should I do that, she betrayed us all. How am I going to explain this to the lads ay?" he said as I clenched my teeth. If one more person said I betrayed them I swore it wouldn't be their best day.

"Will you stop saying that? I didn't betray anyone you tit." I said and made him sit down. "Now listen." I snapped as I started telling him what happened.

"No, I saw you…" he started saying but I interrupted him.

"No you didn't! You saw me go in and come out 4 hours later, that's it." I stated crossing my arms. "You had no idea why I was there." I told him but he looked at me unconvinced.

"So why not say anything hu? They were arrested the next day and we confronted you about it!" he shouted and rubbed his nose. "You never denied it." he stated.

"Denied it? When? While you were bleeding me nice and proper? I didn't have a chance to deny it, to be honest I thought you were on about something else." I admitted and he frowned.

"What's that then Sophie? Please grace us with one of your lies." he said as I slammed my fist down on the table.

"I'm not fucking lying!" I shouted angrily. Rosie put her hand on my shoulder and gave me a comforting squeeze.

"She's telling the truth. I even asked Tommy if it was true." Rosie stated as I could see Greg was confused.

"Tommy Dawson, the kid that used to be on Jay's gang he knew Cara so after she died I helped him out, got him out of there and into school." I said.

He frowned "That's why you were saying you were only trying to help." I tried remembering but it was too painful. I sighed deeply and he crunched up his face. "Damn Soph, why the fuck didn't you just say anything." he said crossing his arms and leaning backwards.

"Because to me it was over, after Cara died I didn't want to be part of that anyways. I thought if that was the kind of people you were, I was better off away from you. Then again I didn't realize my sister would turn on me." I said flashing Rosie a disapproving look.

"I said I was sorry." she mumbled while she was pouring some tea in her cup.

"So what you want now then, you obviously made up with Rosie and you don't want back in the gang." he stated as I snorted a little.

"I want you to tell people you made a mistake Greg! I'm not a fucking betrayer and you're going to tell them you made a mistake." I said sternly and he looked away sighing annoyed. "You're doing it." I said to him as he looked at me and cocked his head.

"Who are you to tell me what to do Webster?" he said sounding arrogant.

"Jiminy Cricket." I said as he frowned. "Your conscience? Don't you feel a little bit guilty for what you put me through? I nearly got killed last time I was here, because I didn't have you guys to have my back." I said with a high pitch voice.

"Fine, I'll sort it." he said sounding very irritated and embarrassed.

"Great I'll come with." I said satisfied as he shot me another embarrassed yet very irritated look. I chuckled mentally.

…

**Sian**

It had been a week now since Sophie left. I missed her so much like grass would miss the rain on a hot summer day. I missed feeling her eyes upon me near the end of class. I missed sneaking in her room in the middle of the night just the catch a glimpse of her sleeping manners. Sometimes I would still do that just to breathe in her scent. Mac even caught me that one time and I felt so embarrassed.

I hadn't heard anything from Sophie in almost 2 days; she would normally text me or be on Facebook, but nothing. I was starting to feel anxious, she was in a city where the crime rate wasn't well low and a lot of the locals wanted to harm her. When I told Mac this, she said I was overreacting, not every citizen had it out for Sophie. 'Well no shit Sherlock! No, not every citizen has it out for her, just the ones with pointy sticks and guns in their hands' I had thought.

I opened my door and lied on my bed while I checked my cellphone for the 37th time that day; yes I had been counting. I sighed at the 'no messages' and rubbed my feet that had been massacred during 'Classical Exercises II'.

I put on my radio and opened the window. I sat on my bed again after I grabbed some lotion for my feet. I started rubbing as the music was interrupted by an urgent news message like it would countless time before around this time of the day.

'_This afternoon at 3h46 2 teenagers started firing at each other on King Street in Manchester. Chaos erupted and at least 3 people were found dead at the scene while 8 people were severely injured. The rest of the pedestrians were mostly shocked. The street has been evacuated and the two suspects will be taken into custody after…'_

I felt a nauseating feeling embracing every bone in my body. I quickly took my phone and speed dialed her. The ringing tone wouldn't end and the feeling would only enlarge.

"Come on babe just answer." I was talking to myself. I tried calming myself down. There were tons of people there, it could've been anyone, there's no reason to think it's her. I tried calling her again and again as I laid down on my bed trying to keep calm.

'The people that were found dead was an 8 year old boy Anthony Holland and his mother Margaret Holland, the third person was a teenage girl we have not yet been able to identify, the girl had brown hair and green eyes'

The sound of the radio echoed in my head. 'A teenage girl'


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

**Sian**

She wasn't answering her phone and the hospital was not giving me any viable information. I knew going all the way over there was crazy and just ridiculous, but I couldn't shake this feeling off.

"She isn't answering her phone, if she would just answer her phone." I kept thinking. I was already packing my backpack as Mac barged in.

"Have you heard anything from Sophie? I just heard…" she started saying as she widened her eyes. "Oh my God, is she all right?" she asked anxiously.

"I don't know." I mumbled.

"Well what have the doctors told you?" she said sitting on my bed. I looked at her feeling stupid, but I had to tell her.

"I'm not even sure she's hurt Mac." I admitted as she frowned.

"What? What do you mean?" she said as I started shuffling my feet and playing with the hem of my shirt.

"Don't judge me okay? She's not answering her phone, she hasn't texted me for ages. I can't get in touch with her. The news said there was a girl with brown hair and green eyes." I said feeling a lump grown in my throat.

"Sian, Sophie has blue eyes not green, they wouldn't mix that up." she said and I sighed deeply.

"Yeah well you never know do you?" I said angrily as she got up. She sighed and held my hands. I stopped packing and looked at her. I knew she thought I was crazy for doing this. "Just imagine if it were Goose?" I said trying to make her see.

"Yeah, I know. It's just -don't you think you'll feel kind of silly when you realize it isn't her?" She stated as I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah well I think I'll mostly feel relieved, besides we were going to visit each other in the weekends anyways. So if it isn't her I can just call her and it'll be a nice surprise." I stated.

"Yeah but you just said she's not answering." she said as I groaned.

"I know that! Look I'll figure something out once I get there all right?" I snapped at her as she nodded. I closed my backpack and flung it over my shoulder. "Cover for me? Please." I asked her as she nodded reluctantly. "Look it's not like I'm breaking any rules, I'm 18 I can go wherever I like, I just don't want my mum finding out okay?" I said to her as she sighed and nodded.

"I'll cover, just text me when you found out if it's her or not yeah?" she said and I nodded.

….

When I showed Sophie's picture to the nurse she said that the girl that got murdered wasn't her. I felt relieved and also very stupid for coming this far. I looked at my cellphone and Sophie still hadn't texted me or tried calling me.

The feeling of relief and embarrassment changed into irritation and anger. "Why hadn't she gotten back to me?" I thought to myself. Then the feeling changed to bitter and pure hurt. "She hadn't gotten back to me. She must've known about what was happening. Did she really think I wouldn't call to check if she was alright?" I thought while sitting down on a bench near the exit of the hospital.

I decided to go to my hostel I had booked yesterday. I would rest a bit and watch telly while I was there. I could stay there till tonight, so I still had plenty of time to reach Soph. The intense childish feeling of wanting to call her just so I could hang up on her came up in me. I knew that wasn't the answer; there must've been a perfectly good explanation why she hadn't gotten back to me.

When I got to my room I dropped down on the bed and closed my eyes breathing in the fresh laundry smell. That smell always reminded me a bit of Sophie. I mean she had her own smell of course, but when she would put on a fresh washed shirt or sweater her own smell got covered by that distinctive laundry smell. I smiled while I closed my eyes.

…

_I saw the brunette walking down the hallway. I usually introduced myself to new students, but she seemed… well not nice. I shouldn't be judgmental, but right then I couldn't help it. She seemed in her own world or at least she pretended to be. _

_She did a good job at pretending she was the only person existing when she nearly ripped off my shoulder when she bumped into me. "Watch it." I snarled at her. I knew she did that on purpose. She raised her hands innocently and I spotted a pack of ciggies in her hand. _

_I frowned when she tried lighting one up. "You're not planning on smoking those are you?" I asked her as she gave me an arrogant look. I knew what this kind was, the ones that thought they were so above everybody else because they didn't care for shit. Well newsflash: pretending you don't care means you care more than anyone. _

_She rolled her eyes at me. To be honest I didn't want her to smell like an ashtray, especially when she did smell kind of nice. She smelled like that stuff you'd put in the laundry to make your sheets nice and soft. _

_She kept playing with her cigarette when I raised my eyes and she shrugged at me. "Oh great a 'shrugger'" I thought. "Another waste of space at this school." I mumbled. I knew I was being a bitch, but I didn't want someone like her taking the place of someone that actually did want to be here. _

…

I woke up as I heard myself snoring. I felt embarrassed, I knew if I laid on my back I'd snore. Even though there's no one around that actually experienced the ordeal, I felt stupid knowing it did happen from time to time. Sophie even said once she thought it was cute and soothing. She liked knowing the fact I was next to her.

I snorted at my own trail of thoughts. "I wonder where that went. If she cared to know where I was, wouldn't she check in?"

I decided to go get dinner and then maybe head back. I could try her cellphone one more time after it and if she still didn't answer I would go home.

…

"Thanks." I said as the waitress put the cup of hot chocolate in front of me. I sipped on it as I looked outside. The snow that covered my boots last time I was here had melted and the temperature had reached a level that wouldn't make you shiver every time you breathed in. it was nice to feel the sun on my face, even though it was through a window.

I could see a crowd of young people laughing. Even though the temperature had risen to a more agreeable one, you could still see the air they breathed out while they talked or laughed.

There was a girl with brown hair who was laughing while raising her arms. She reminded me of Sophie in a way. Actually not just in a way, she reminded me of Sophie a lot. I frowned and looked closer, I couldn't make out their faces as the sun was setting right behind them. The sunbeams shined right into my eyes and prevented me from seeing clearly.

Her body language was similar if not identical to Sophie's. "_I mean what are the chances?"_ I frowned and breathed in tightly while leaving some money on the table. I quickly went out and looked again as I stepped closer to the group. I felt so nervous. _"If it's not her, this will be awkward_." I thought to myself but dared one step closer as I saw their face clearly now.

…..

**Sophie**

"Hey guys." I said nervously as they all turned their faces to me.

"Soph?" one of them asked smiling while the one next to him gave him a shove in the ribs. He stayed quiet. The family I once knew stayed quiet at my appearance.

"She's cool." Greg said while coming in. I smiled shyly as I could see some frown getting deeper while others disappeared.

"Watcha mean?" Marlo said sounding annoyed. "She put my brother in jail and has been denying it." he said with his thick accent. "How exactly is she cool ay?" he snarled.

"She didn't do it all right, now settle down." he said waving his hand at him, but it only made him angry. This time not just him but everyone started asking what he meant. "Look guys, I made a mistake. Sophie wasn't the one who put Will and Jacob in jail." he said nonchalantly as I could see almost everyone being on the verge of snapping.

"You've got to be kidding me right? Please tell me you're kidding? How can you say one thing with so much conviction and then just deny it a year later?" Brandon said with a high pitch yet male voice.

"Look guys." Greg said looking down. "It was a misunderstanding. Soph thought we was going down on her for something else, that's why she wasn't denying anything and I just made a mistake. I jumped to conclusions when I shouldn't have." he said remorsefully.

I could see the disappointment in 5 pair of eyes that were looking at me.

"Alright." Manny said. She smiled at me and came closer. I was getting ready for a punch when she launched herself at me but instead I felt her arms around me. "It's good to have you back then. I was never angry for what you did, only disappointed. _You_ on the other hand, I _am_ fucking angry with." she said turning to Greg. "You fucking made us gang up on one of our own. What is wrong with you? I knew I shouldn't have trusted you." she said shoving his chair.

"Oi, the man made a mistake. We all should know better than to jump to conclusions. We all believed him." Marlo said jumping in. "And sorry Soph, you're all right." he said squeezing my shoulder. "Besides I think everybody was ready to move past this even if you did do it." he continued as they all started arguing between them.

"Hold on, I just need to know something." I said as they all looked at me. "Manny you said you should never have believed him, so why did you? Why didn't you just come up to me and talk to me?" I asked feeling a lump grow in the back of my throat.

"I guess it just made sense. You were hurting, we all thought you could've done anything, even that." she stated as I nodded.

"Well I didn't." I answered her as she nodded.  
>"We know that now." She smiled at me as they all did.<p>

"Look why don't we go get something to drink ay?" Brandon suggested as we all nodded. "I could definitely need one after this revelation." he said as I smiled a little.

We ended up going to a liquor shop and getting some vodka while the others got some orange juice at the near gas station. I felt slightly drunk as we left the house and headed outside. The fresh air did me good, it knocked the alcohol out of me enough to walk straight.

We ended up sitting at the riverside like we used to. I felt like nothing had changed, like I was back a year ago. But things had changed, but at his moment I wouldn't let myself go to that place just yet. I wanted to stay in this bubble.

However I didn't see this needle coming. "Soph I think someone is trying to get your attention." Brandon said as I looked behind me.

"Soph." I hear her say as I felt speechless. Her voice made reality drop down on me and burst the bubble the alcohol had made.

"Sian?" I said as she smiled. She seemed a bit relieved as she walked over to me and wrapped her arms around my neck. I quickly put my arms around her waist as reality was sinking in deeper and I realized what was going on. "What are you doing here?" I asked smiling a bit into her neck.

"I got so worried, it's stupid." she said as her voice trembled. I tightened my grip on her waist and kissed her neck. I heard someone clear their voice as I stepped out of the hug.

"Hey guys, uhm this is Sian. I know her from school." I said to them as they smirked at me. I smiled awkwardly as I took Sian to the side while saying "Excuse us for a minute." I took her to the diner and sat down on the ground. She sat next to me and I could feel her body relaxing. "What happened?" I asked her.

She looked at me a little embarrassed and sighed. "I-it's stupid, but I heard about the shooting in Manchester. They mentioned a girl with brown hair and I just freaked." she said blushing as I smiled.

"Why did you think it was me?" I asked chuckling a bit as she frowned.

"Well! You haven't fucking talked to me in over 2 days and you weren't answering your phone." she said angrily. I could sense her relief had turned to anger and hurt.

"Oh babe I'm sorry. I've been looking for my charger all over; I think Jenny might have taken it. Rosie takes up all the internet so I thought I'd just explain everything when I got my charger back." I stated rubbing her shoulder. "I didn't think you'd be this upset." I said honestly but she snorted.

"Yeah and the dog ate my homework." she mumbled sounding annoyed.

"I'm not making excuses if that's what you think." I said feeling offended. "I'm not." I said making her look at me. "I wouldn't do that. I love you." I said stroking her cheek.

"Really? So how come you didn't introduce me as your girlfriend before if you love me so much?" she asked looking at me, her eyes throwing daggers.

"I-I-" I didn't know what to say. "It happened kind of quickly and I don't know if you've noticed but I'm a bit tipsy here." I said trying to lighten the mood. "Babe, look I haven't even told anybody except my sister and Jenny." I said to her. "I don't want to barge this on them. Just give me some time to find the right moment." I said to her as she looked down.

"Well what do you want me to do in the mean time? Just go back to school while you find the right moment, so it doesn't seem completely weird that I'm following you like a lost puppy? Or that they think it's only one sided and you've got a clinger on your hands?" she said angrily as I sighed.

"I'll tell them tomorrow okay? If you want you can stay the night with me. It's only Rosie and Jenny at the house so you won't have to pretend you're anything but my girlfriend." I said as she smiled a little but she seemed to shake it off. "Come on babe, I'm trying here." I said as she sighed.

"You really want me to meet your sister?" she asked me and I smiled.

"Of course I do." I said to her as I hugged her. She breathed out and almost choked on her on breathe. "Are you okay." I said but she shook her face. I got out of the hug and looked at her. I could see the hurt in her eyes and I felt guilty for unintentionally putting it there. "Babe." I said stroking her cheek as she interrupted me.

"I was just so worried and you didn't even bother to text me. I know you just said that your cell is out of juice, but couldn't you have used someone else's phone just to let me know you're alright? Do you have any idea what it's like to think the person you love most might be gone?" she said dramatically.

"I can imagine quit vividly." I said gulping while I remembered Cara's face and everything else that happened in those last hours. "I don't need to imagine, I know." I thought.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

"I don't need to imagine, I know." I thought. I gulped looking at her as I turned away.

…

_The gun shot echoed through the street as I caught my breath. "Babe." I whispered but she didn't hear me, no one heard me. All I could see was her falling to the ground and Jay's men looking startled. I started running towards her as a couple of my mates tried to stop me. "Cara?" I almost yelled as I got to her side. _

"_I fucking knew this was a setup, see what you've done? By fucking calling the cops and trying to get rid of the competition you've managed to kill someone." I heard him say as the blood rose up to my eyes. _

"_You FUCKING shut up! She's not dead! And you fucking pulled the trigger." I yelled at him as I held Cara in my arms. She was barely breathing, but she was still looking at me. "It's going to be okay." I said while I heard Jay loading his gun. Manny and the others quickly cornered him._

"_Soph." she said shakily as I smiled. "It's kinda cold." she said gripping my sleeves. "Babe, the ground is really cold. Can I lean on you? I'm cold." she kept saying as I started weeping. "I'm holding you, I'm holding you." I repeatedly said as I yelled at Greg to call an ambulance. I looked at her shirt that was now drenching in her blood. My hands were covered red as well. I started panicking. _

"_I can't Soph, it's a gunshot, we'd have to report it and-" he started saying but I interrupted him. _

"_You fucking see this blood? CALL an ambulance or so help me God I will have you arrested for murder." I yelled dramatically. I cried silently as I could see Cara's lips losing their crimson color. _

"_Babe I'm gonna put pressure on that wound okay? It'll hurt but you're losing blood." I said to her as I put some pressure on the wound. She yelped in agony but I didn't stop. _

"_No! Sophie." she flinched as I held her close. _

"_it's okay, the doctors are on their way, you'll be okay." I said to her as I felt her nodding but her tears we excruciating to feel, and her sobs only got deeper as my hands did. _

"_I love you, I want you to know that." she said in a weak voice. _

"_Don't say that, you're not dying. So you tell me you love me after you get to the hospital okay?" I whimpered as she shook her head. _

"_Babe tell me you love me, please." she said as a tear ran down her cheek. I cried while shaking my head. _

"_I'll tell you when you're okay, because I do, I love you." I said as she smiled a little. "I guess I said it anyways hu?" I said trying to lighten the mood while still crying. "You're going to be okay." I said to her as she nodded. _

_Suddenly she gripped my hand and said anxiously "Soph, don't go."._

"_I'm here." I said confused but she just kept squeezing my hand. She kept asking where I was right before the ambulance arrived. The doctors took hold of her. "Can I ride with you, please?" I begged them as they put me in the ambulance too. _

"_Cara we're going to take care of that wound alright?" one of them said as I watched them tear up her top. They disinfected the wound a for a couple of minutes I thought she was going to be alright. You never expect certain things to happen to you._

_I looked at her and held her hand, she smiled at me and mouthed 'I love you' right before a excruciating beeping sound echoed in the ambulance. I panicked as her grip loosened. _

"_Cara?" I said anxiously while the doctor gently pushed me aside. _

"_Her heart rate is dropping." I heard them say as I held on to my own body. _

"_Cara no, please." I whimpered as they started cpr. I fell down on my knees and prayed as hard as I could. I didn't really believe in God, but I always believed in something. I prayed to that something if it existed to let her live. "Please." I yelped the line went flat of the monitor. _

_They stopped trying by the time we got to the hospital. I screamed at her, I shook her, even slapped her once trying to wake her up. _

"_She's gone." they told me. I hugged her sides and cried loudly. _

"_No, come back. Come back you hear me! You can't leave me!" I kept yelling at her. After they managed to get me off her body, they cleaned her up and left me alone with her in a hospital room. _

"_We'll have to do an autopsy." they said behind me right before Rosie came in. _

"_She knows." she answered for me as she wrapped her arms around me. "She knows, don't you Soph?" she whispered but I didn't say anything. I just let the tears fall while I kept looking at Cara. I felt as the world had gone silent. I had that beeping sound in my ears, like you would have after a loud party. _

"_We'll leave you with her for a couple more hours, but after we'll have to take her away. I'll let you know what caused it. It's most likely that she bled out but-" I heard someone say but they stopped. Everything stopped at that moment. I felt Rosie's hand on my shoulder. I knew she was talking to me, but everything had stopped and so had her voice. _

"_We don't need to hear that right away." I heard someone say. It was like I was dreaming. Everything I heard, if I heard it, sounded like a vague echo disappearing in the distance. I walked forward and stroked her hair gently. _

"_I'll always love you, I told you I'd tell you after we got here." I said with a whimpering voice, I wasn't sure she heard me but my voice had somehow failed me to speak louder. I bent down and kissed her lips shakily. A sob fell down on her lips as I could feel Rosie's eyes on me. I felt a certain pressure to say goodbye to her. Her parents were probably on their way and there would be no goodbyes then. _

_But how do you say goodbye to the person you love most? Reality wasn't hitting me, I didn't want it to. I wanted this to be a dream from which I could wake. I knew that if I closed my eyes for just a moment and then open them again she would be there shaking me, telling me I'm having a nightmare. _

_I opened my eyes, but Cara's smile nor her eyes met mine. Only the image of her frail body lying on a hospital bed lay before my eyes. Her eyes closed, her lips having the color of an early grown pink rose, her cheeks not having any color at all anymore.  
>Life had literally flown out of her. I lost it, I started crying and the world started again. Everything became clear again as if Cara's death had finally hit me, death itself had nudged me to wake up. I lost it. I properly lost it. <em>

"_I told you'd be alright and I let you down. This is my fault." I sobbed as I fell through my knees. I felt Rosie holding me, keeping me from falling to the floor. She hushed me and stroked my hair. She helped me on the bed as I laid my head on her chest. I used to hear her heartbeat, but there was no sound, nothing. _

_I shivered and gripped onto her arm. "You're in a good place now though, and I know I can't be in that good place just yet. So I'll just have to say see you later okay?" I sobbed loudly as I hugged her sides. I don't know if I meant what I said but in that moment it just felt like the right thing to say._

_A couple hours later Rosie told me that the autopsy had concluded it was the bullet. _

_You don't expect these things to happen to you, but it did, today it happened to me. _

…

"Soph? Are you okay? You're all white and you're shivering." she said to me as I breathed in. Cara's voice, that last glimpse of her face haunted me to this day.

"I'm fine." I said swallowing deep as Sian obviously felt awkward. She sighed and looked at the ground.

"Look I know I'm overreacting, just try imagining what it was like for me. I'm only being this dramatic because I love you." she stated blushing a little as I felt guilty.

"I know, and I do know what it's like to be in your position." I said to her as she frowned looking confused.

"You do?" she asked me but I cleared my throat and said

"No I meant, I can imagine."

She smiled at me and nodded. I lied, I don't know why, but I did.  
>"Come on let's go home, I'm knackered anyways." I said to her as she nodded and took hold of my hand.<p>

-.

"Rosie?" I yelled through the house as I felt Sian holding on to my hand tightly. "Ros.." I started yelling again a bit louder this time.

"Alright, alright! What is it, gosh I'm doing my nails Soph. You know I'm not accountable for when-" she was rambling as she saw Sian. "Oh, I didn't realize you brought company." she said looking at me with and expectant look. "I see my sister has lost her manners, I'm Rosie." she said looking a bit disapproving.

"Sorry, shit this is Sian." I said as I turned to Sian whom was also giving me an expectant look. I rolled my eyes mentally. "My girlfriend." I said silently as I dragged her to the kitchen where Jenny was standing. Jenny smirked at me, I knew they were all shitting with me. They knew damn well who Sian was, I had described her to them at least a hundred times and the fact Sian was holding my hand should've been a clue.

"For Pete sake, This is Sian my girlfriend. So you can stop your smirking." I said defensively as Sian frowned at me. "You want something to eat?" I asked her trying to change the subject as she nodded.

"Well you're in luck Sian." Jenny said holding out a pot of soup. "I just made soup, and don't believe anything Sophie has told you. My soup is fabulous." she said making us chuckle.

"Well uhm I'll just go freshen up then." she said. "Where's the bathroom?" she asked me.

"Oh I'll show you." I said as she shook her head.

"No I'm fine, just tell me where it is, I'll manage." she said almost winking at me.

"All right, it's upstairs second door on the right." I said to her as she smiled and was on her merry way. I sat down and sighed a little. Jenny came over and sat at the table.

"She seems nice babe, and damn she's hotter than I remembered." Jenny said, which made me chuckle.

"You didn't even see her last time." I stated as she shook her head.

"That's not true, I saw her walk away before I caught you camping in my backyard." she stated raising an eyebrow. I chuckled again.

The evening went smoothly. Rosie talked about well, her and the rest of us just listened and made sly jokes. I was surprised how well Sian fitted in this picture. She was herself from moment she sat at that table. I suppose she was only and ice queen to me.

When we got upstairs I kissed her lips gently. "You seemed to fit in fine there." I said to her as she smiled.

"Yeah well gotta make a good impression, don't I?" she said cockily and I nodded.

"So how come you were such a bitch to me in the beginning. I always thought you were like a lollypop, you have to endure sucking up the sour part first, only to get a glimpse from the best part which lies at the centre of the lollypop. And only after your tongue is properly damaged you get to enjoy the sweetness that is you." I said flirting with her a bit.

"Well that's because you were such a bitch to me in the beginning, you did some screwed up stuff Soph, you gotta admit that." she said to me.

"I suppose." I said to her as I started kissing her neck. "I know something else to suck on that reveals the sweetness that is you." I whispered in her ear as her breathing changed immediately. I smiled devilishly.

"What about your sister and Jenny." she said to me.

"Well you'll have to be really quiet." I said before nibbling on her ear. she moaned quietly and I kept on going.

I pushed her down on the bed as I started kissing her lips feverishly. her hands got tangled in my hair and I felt my underwear dampening. My breathing got erratic and I cupped her breast. she moaned a bit louder this time and said "God I love it when you do that."

_'I love it when you do that baby' _

I suddenly heard a faint memory of Cara's voice. I flinched and got out of the embrace. "Soph?"

I sat down on the bed next to her breathing deeply. "Babe, are you okay?" she asked as I looked at her.  
>"Yeah I'm sorry, I just felt Jenny's soup coming back up." I said to her as she smiled a little and rubbed my back.<p>

"Are you okay? Should I go get some meds or-" she started rambling in her own sweet way. I shook my head and kissed her again.

I quickly started undressing her as she cupped my face. "Soph, are you sure?" she said as I interrupted her.  
>"Why are you talking like that? You should be moaning." I said right as I pressed my leg up in between her legs. Her eyes fluttered and she put her head back.<p>

I discarded my clothes and started working on hers. I kissed her stomach as I was raising her shirt. I pulled her on my lap and pulled it off. I reached for the clasp of her bra. I opened it and let her straps fell of her shoulders.

I sucked on her pulse point while she got rid of my bra. I pulled her on top of me as her breasts collided with mine. her tongue was caressing my own and I felt the throbbing feeling between my legs growing. She knew exactly which buttons to push.

"Babe I want you." I said to her and she smiled. She brushed her hand over my underwear adding a bit of pressure as she brushed over my clit. I moaned a little. Her teasing was only making me wetter.

She got rid of her underwear and quickly discarded mine too. she made me get on top as she plunged her fingers past my wet folds and inside of me. I moaned loudly.

"Babe." I gripped the back of her neck as she found a steady rhythm. I searched for her clit as I finally found it. I was teasing her till I stared circling her clit with my finger. I could see her eyes closing in pleasure as she quickened her pace. She curled her fingers inside of me and hit that same delightful spot.

I started beckoning my hips to her rhythm while circling her clit faster. I flicked finger over it as she moaned loudly.

"Baby that feels so good." she whispered only turning me on more. She only had to curl her fingers one more time and she would push me over the edge. I was trying to resist the feeling, I wanted her to come with me. I pushed my fingers inside of me while my thumb kept rubbing her clit. I could see she was almost there.

"Babe I'm nearly."  
>"Me too." I said eagerly as she nodded. She curled her finger and I let the feeling wash over me. I was riding my orgasm out as was she.<p>

….

I hugged her naked body from behind and breathed in her smell. She was amazing, sex with Sian was amazing. I couldn't believe Cara's voice came up right before. This day had been eventful, a lot had to do with Cara, it was only natural she had been on my mind.

The difference with last time Cara was on my mind after we spent a night together was that this time, I didn't feel guilty. I knew Cara would want me to be happy.

I smiled a little and snuggled into Sian's neck.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

**Sophie**

"So you ready for tonight?" Greg said to me as I nodded silently.

"What's tonight?" Sian asked Greg and he gave her a vile look. I knew the minute I introduced Sian as a good 'friend' I was getting some judgmental looks.

"Ain't none of your concern." he spat as she was taken aback.

"Greg, mate she's cool alright. I said before." I started saying but he cut me off.

"I know what you said Sophie, don't mean she got to know everything." he said as I sighed. "Your friend ain't gotta be mine, she ain't one of us." he stated as I could see Sian's feelings getting hurt.

"She's one of mine, so if you want me in on this, you're gonna have to start treating her less like an outsider." I said to him as he scoffed.

"She is an outsider Sophie. I don't know what you're doing with the likes of her. A little rich kid doesn't have any business putting her nose into our business." he said while wiping his mouth arrogantly. I could see Sian eying me, I knew she wanted me to tell them about us. Tell them right then and there she wasn't just a little rich kid I happened to know. She was my girlfriend and she was allowed to stick her nose into my business.

"It's a transfer Sian." I said as Greg snapped his head at me.  
>"Are you daft? Didn't you just hear what I said?" he said to me as I nodded nonchalantly.<br>"I did, but she is part of my crew alright." I said to him but he shook his head. Sian sighed and stood up.

"Where you going?" I asked her.  
>"Anywhere but here." she mumbled as I shut my eyes and sighed deeply.<br>"Right, now that she's gone we can actually get on with it." he said before he took out a map of the city.

"Right ,tell me what'll go on." I said reluctantly while following Sian with my eyes.  
>"It'll happen here." he said pointing his greasy finger on the map. I nodded but looked down. "Right so Maxxie's just gonna drop it off, and you just need to watch him yeah. These men don't know him, but they will know you. It's a matter of good faith." he said and I nodded again. "Are you listening?" he said sounding annoyed.<p>

"Yes Greg I am. Watch Maxxie, do the deal. I got it. Are we done here?" I asked him not expecting an answer. I got up and went outside. When I crossed the threshold I looked around looking for Sian.

"Babe." I sighed when I saw her sitting on a bench near some trees.  
>She turned around but quickly turned back and said "Careful your mates don't hear you say that." I sighed deeply. I knew she had a right to be mad at me.<p>

"Look it was just a bit of an awkward time to tell them. You're someone they've never met. It's about earning trust with these guys. You don't just get it." I said trying to make sense. She was snapping some twigs of a stick and threw them violently on the ground. "I promise..." I started saying as she swayed her head at me.

"Promise? Promise what? That I'm your pathetic little rich girlfriend, you picked up for a laugh. No thanks, this has been humiliating enough. Do you know how much it hurts to have someone talking shit about me when I'm right there and have my girlfriend just taking it?" she uttered obviously upset.

"I did defend you, I tried." I said to her as she snorted.

"Try harder." she snarled as she stood up. "I'm going home tomorrow. I'll see you when you visit me for the weekend. You and your mates have made it perfectly clear I don't belong here." she said waving her hand at me and started walking away.

"Sian." I shouted while I ran after her. I grabbed her arm and spun her around. "I'll go inside now and tell them you're my girlfriend alright." I said smiling a bit.

"I don't want you to do that! That's even more embarrassing. You'll make me look more pathetic than a fucking nancy boy making you do and uggh." She squealed. I didn't notice Marlo approaching us.

"Alright?" he said as I was about to try and comfort Sian. Before I could answer Sian was already lashing out.  
>"You know what? You and your bloody 'cool' mates can go fuck yourselves!" she groaned while running away.<br>"Sian don't go that way. It's a dead end- street." I started shouting but quieted down as I saw she was too far away to even be able to hear me.

"What's going on then?" he asked me as I sighed and looked him in the eye eventually.  
>"Just a lover's quarrel." I stated as he raised an eyebrow. He started smiling.<br>"You banging her?" he said while I rolled my eyes.  
>"It's not like that." I answered.<br>"So you're not sleeping with her then?" he asked knowing the answer. I groaned and looked at him. "That's what I thought. Well well, she seems to be all upset. Let me guess you didn't give her enough attention, or or you didn't call her after you slept with her and that's why she's here." he said laughing as I punched his arm.  
>" I just told you it's not like that! I li - I love her, alright." I said to him as he frowned.<p>

"What bout Cara?" he said but instantly regretted asking that question. "Soph, I didn't mean it like that. It's just odd that you bounced back so fast. I mean I'm not saying you didn't love Cara, it's just- it's weird that you would even go for a girl like that. I mean she's not exactly like us, is she?" he rambled nervously. Last time someone questioned my feelings for Cara they ended up in the hospital, so to be fair the lad had justified fears.

I grinded my teeth and took a deep breath. "Cara's dead." I stated looking down. "And I loved her, she'll stay in my heart. It took me a year and a half to get over the fact that she's gone, and that I might be with someone else. It took a lot of grief to get me to this point where I can accept that I love Sian and that I'm not betraying Cara. So if you got anything else to say, say it so I can go get my girlfriend before she gets herself killed." I said being pissed off.

"I'm good." He said quickly as he took out a fag and lit it.

I followed the road Sian had taken. It didn't take me long to find her since this was a one way street with a dead end. "Sian." I said gently when I reached her. I could see she was still mad. "Look I told Marlo bout us, without making it into a big statement. The whole crew will know by now, he's a bit of a blabbermouth." I said as she turned around.

"Okay." she said quietly and I wrapped my arms around her.  
>"Don't go running away like that, okay? You can get hurt if you end up in an alley you're not supposed to be in." I said to her as she nodded.<p>

"What's the transfer." she said after a brief moment of silence. I hesitated, but I knew I couldn't keep this from her.  
>"It's a drug transfer." I said as she frowned.<p>

"Drugs?" she asked with a high pitch voice as I shuffled my feet.  
>"Yeah? Look I know you're not used to this, but it's just for like good faith yanno. They exiled me based on a misunderstanding. I don't want that again, if anything I really want to get into their good books." I said to her as she gave me <em>the<em> face. It was the face she gave me in the beginning of the year. "Don't Look so judgmental." I said to her as she flinched at my touch.

"Judgmental? Well what do you want me to say? Yes Sophie I think you're doing a dandy job at doing something quite illegal and dangerous? I can't do that. And no I don't approve of you doing that to just get into the good books of a gang that exiled you the minute they thought you did something wrong. That's not a family Sophie." she said as shifted away from her.

"Look they thought I betrayed them. It's understandable." I started saying but she interrupted me.  
>"Understandable? No it's not! A family doesn't exile you when they suspect you from doing something. They didn't even talk to you." she said bitterly.<p>

"Alright! I get it. But I can't help it nonetheless. I love them, they're the only family I've got." I said feeling the weight sitting on my chest.  
>"I'm your family too." she said quietly.<br>"Yeah you are, that's why you can't leave me here." I said to her while I brushed my hand over her cheek. She rested her head in it and smiled sadly.

"I just don't want you to get hurt again like that." she said as I chuckled.  
>"Trust me I've had way worse than that." I stated making her frown.<br>"Like what?" she asked me as I shuffled uncomfortably.  
>"That's a story for another time." I smiled but she didn't let go.<br>"That's what you always say!" she said sounding hurt. She looked down and I sighed. Some things were hard for me to tell her without breaking down, without hurting her with the truth. I didn't know how she would react to certain stuff, I didn't want to lose her, she was from a different world after all.

"Babe, some things are just hard to dig up, that's all." I said to her trying to get her sympathy, but she didn't budge.  
>"Even for me?" she said quietly. A knife could cut the tension we had found our way into. I sighed and pulled her close to me.<br>I caressed her face gently and said "I promise I'll tell you someday." She looked me in the eyes and shook her head in agony. I knew what she was thinking and as usual she voiced her thoughts. She rested her head against mine and whispered "That's unlikely."

At that moment she stood up with invisible tears in her eyes. I wanted to grab her hand and tell her it was likely. I would tell her, I just needed more time. I needed to see how she would react to certain things, test the waters so I'd know how she might react to future occurring events. "Let's go back to the house. I'm still a bit sleepy." she said as I swallowed deep. I was quite aware that I wouldn't be able to change her mind on the subject.  
>"Actions speak louder than words." I thought and nodded. I got up and held her hand.<p>

-.

**Sian**

I woke up the morning after and snuggled up to Sophie. This house had a certain breeze going through it at every moment of the day and gave me chills. I dug my head into her chest and felt her heart thump.

'Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump'

I smiled at the sounds her chest made. Somehow those sounds always gave me comfort, especially if I was in a foully mood like I was going to be today. I wasn't pleased with the fact Sophie was going on that transfer, and I had made sure she knew it. Not that it made any difference, she hadn't been on the same page as me the minute she got here.

I moved away from her, somehow my thoughts were spoiling the comfort I was finding in my girlfriend's embrace. I lay down on my pillow and looked up at the ceiling.

She accused me of being judgmental, but what about her? She was doing illegal stuff and was judging me on the fact I didn't think it was cool or alright. Why am I the only one getting called judgmental?

I knew I had to get rid of these thoughts. Sophie would notice the minute she'd wake up and interrogate me on what was wrong, and I didn't feel like fighting. I just wanted this day to be over already. "Alright happy thoughts." I said closing my eyes.

I could feel sleep embracing me again. It had always been very easy for me to fall asleep again at any hour of the day. I suppose with being a classical trained dancer I was tired all the time, so it didn't really matter when I slept, as long as I did sleep everything would be fine.

I chuckled at my foolish thoughts. "What you laughing about?" I heard Sophie mumble. She wrapped her arm around my waist and I smiled.  
>"Nothing much." I said quietly as she was still sleeping a bit.<p>

After we ate breakfast that morning Sophie had promised me she wouldn't do anything foolishly. She only had to introduce the lad that was doing the transfer as some sort of assurance policy. As we arrived at the scene where it would all happen Sophie gave me an assuring smile.

"Don't worry lass she'll be all right." Marlo said to me. I breathed in deep and nodded.  
>"Don't get in the way." Greg snarled at me as I frowned deeply.<br>"Asshole." I mumbled as a couple people chuckled.  
>"Got some fire in you after all ay." Marlo said to me but I turned my face and watched Sophie accompany the lad. It seemed perfectly harmless until I actually saw her put a knife under her shirt. I suddenly felt very nervous.<p>

For something that seemed so ordinary. It seemed like 3 friends meeting up, but truthfully this was so dangerous.

"Alright mate." I heard them say but I couldn't make out the other stuff. I saw them exchange phrases until the other guy pointed at some dark figure that was coming out of the alley.

"Shit." Marlo mumbled next to me as I snapped my head to him.  
>"What's happening?" I asked him as he shushed me. He pushed me lower.<br>"That's just someone Sophie's not on good terms with." he stated as someone else added. "Understatement of the century that." Someone else said as I got more and more confused.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I whispered loudly as I heard the guy talking. He was nearly shouting.

"Well well, if it isn't the nark." he said loudly as I frowned. "This better not be a setup Webster or I'll get rid of Nancy boy here just like I got rid of your girl." he said. I didn't know what happened because next thing that was happening was Sophie holding a knife to the bloke's throat.

"Sophie! Get the fuck off him." Greg shouted as he pulled her off.  
>"This was <em>not<em> part of the deal. I was here to supervise not have this fucking dirt bag rub my face in the sins he's committed." she said nearly crying. Greg dragged her behind the brick wall where we were and left Maxxie to deal.

"Calm down, calm the fuck down." he said pinning her to the wall. "All right so I might have forgotten to tell you Jay was here, but it's not like I could do anything about it." he said. he didn't sound genuine, to me it seemed like he was enjoying it. Whatever it was.

"You fucking knew! This is the last time I'm doing this Greg, I don't want anything to do with that man!" she said while tears were running down her cheeks.

"She's right. That was out of line Greg. How come we didn't know bout this shit?" another member said as he shrugged.  
>"I didn't think it was important." he stated as Sophie snapped. She started kicking and punching him. They started fighting badly as I felt nervous. I stepped up but someone held on to me.<p>

"I'll deal with it, we don't want you getting a black eye do we." Marlo said as he stood up and pulled Sophie off of Greg.

"Alright Sophie, he got it." he said as she shrugged him off.  
>"Not important? He fucking killed Cara Greg! He killed the person most precious to me and that's not important?" she screamed as he held his hands up.<br>"All right I'm sorry!" he shouted.

She calmed down a bit and looked at me with a bloody lip. I swallowed deep. 'Most precious?'  
>"Who's Cara?" I asked in shock of what was happening. Sophie seemed to regret everything she said before.<p>

"Sian- I - It's hard to explain - I." she started stuttering.  
>"Why who was she?" I asked her she looked at me with tears in her eyes. She looked down and rubbed her face.<p>

"My girlfriend." She said quietly as she was searching for an expression on my face.

I tried opening my mouth, but I suddenly felt like such an outsider. She had plenty of occasions to tell me her ex-girlfriend wasn't in her life anymore because she wasn't alive anymore.

I felt so lonely in that moment, and more so stupid. I leaned against the wall.  
>"Sian I wanted to tell you." she said to me as the humiliation, the hurt was getting bigger.<br>"But you didn't." I said to her. She made me feel so unimportant. I knew this wasn't supposed to be about me, after all her girlfriend died, but I couldn't help but take this personally.

Now everything started making sense, not because she told me but because she shouted it out in a fit of rage in front of a whole group.

"Sian please say something." she said to me as pursed my lips.  
>" I need a walk." I said quietly.<p> 


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

**Sian**

I started walking towards an small park. I heard Sophie walking slowly behind me. I didn't say anything, neither did she for the matter. She knew telling me to stop wouldn't work, not this time. As I entered the park I spotted a bench near a creek. I sat down and closed my eyes sighing. It wasn't the fact that she loved someone so much it got her into a state of hurt, although that did sting badly, it was the fact that she hid everything from me. She made me look like a fool, more so she made me feel like I didn't know her and so I didn't.

How could I? Moments like that change a person. You don't just walk away from it like nothing ever happened. How could I understand her? How could I be on the same page with her if she didn't trust me with the previous pages of her life?

How I felt so unimportant in this moment. The glint of guilt I saw in her eyes when she crouched down in front of me.

"I'm sorry." she whispered. I looked at her but said nothing. It's like I didn't have the will nor did I have the strength to say something. I was tired.  
>"Sian." she said once again but I only looked in her eyes. "Please say something." she said to me but I only sighed. "Look I don't blame you for giving me the silence treatment." she stated and I frowned. I wasn't giving her the silence treatment, well not in the way she thought I was.<p>

I just didn't feel like talking, I needed to hear my own thoughts; no I needed to have emptiness. Basically, I needed time to silence the moment. I looked past her; a ladybug was settling herself on an apple that had fallen from the tree. I fixated my gaze on it and started daydreaming, letting my mind go numb, letting Sophie's voice go numb.

I felt her hand grasp my arm. She shook it and said "Sian." She shook it again more violently this time as I diverted my gaze and looked at her.  
>"Yeah." I finally voiced as she seemed relieved.<br>"I thought you were never going speak a word to me again. You were staring into space for at least 5 minutes there." She stated as she bit her lip.  
>"Sorry." I said quietly.<p>

She sighed loudly and rubbed my arms while she asked "Tell me how you feel?" I frowned as I looked at her.  
>"Stupid, unimportant you name it." I said sounding annoyed while I started regaining the will of speech. She looked down as her palm slid from my shoulder to my hand. She rubbed it tenderly or so it seemed.<br>"You're not, I promise. I'm the stupid one." she said to me. I scoffed loudly and took my hand away from her hold. "I should've told you, it's just hard sometimes." She said to me as I crossed my arms.

"I understand that it's hard to recollect this particular memory, but-ugh Sophie. This was so important on so many levels. It explains everything doesn't it? Why you kept pulling in and pushing me away, why all the secrecy about Manchester and your 'gang' " I said bitterly while trying to keep my voice steady.

"I'll tell you everything you want to know." she said. I sighed but nodded to her desperate plea.  
>"Start from the beginning." I said to her.<br>"I- I'm not sure where it all begun. When we first met? Or starting from when she died? Or-" she started saying as I groaned.  
>"From the beginning. From the minute you moved to Manchester, tell me everything." I stated as she nodded. I knew I was asking her a lot and I was being selfish on some level. No, I was being selfish. I just needed to know so I could help her next time something would happen.<p>

"I moved here when I was 8. I thought it was a wonderful city. I was here with my mum, my dad and Rosie. The first day here, I saw someone's bike get stolen; that's how I met Cara. I guess she explained to me that not everything was a bed of roses here." she said to me as I nodded.

"We were friends, best friends from that moment. Even when I joined the gang." She said to me as I quickly asked "How did you join your gang? Why?"  
>"I had gotten into a fight at school and well Rosie had been in the gang for some time now because she dealt drugs and she told me that this gang was like a family." she said to me as I frowned incomprehensibly. "You have to understand, I never really got any support from my parents the minute they found out I was gay." she said to me as I was confused. She soon realized she hadn't really told her story chronologically.<p>

She chuckled "Okay sorry, I found out I was gay when I was 14. I got caught kissing one of my mates in my bedroom. After that my parents didn't really support me. It was like they were scared of me. I joined the gang after I got into that fight at school when I was 16." she said shrugging. I rubbed her back, understanding what it was like.

"This was around the same time, I started looking at Cara differently. Before she turned 16 she was a bit of tomboy, which isn't bad, just not my type. Plus I explicably saw her as one of the lads." She blushed a little as I smirked.

"You like girlie girls." I said to her as she smiled a little and nodded while continuing with her story.

"The first time I think I started falling for her was when I saw her at her family banquet. It was like she grew up or something. Even though she was only a year younger than me, I always saw her much younger you know." she said and I nodded.

She chuckled remembering her memory and said as she smiled sadly "And there she was in heels, a beautiful dress, her hair all made up and the facade of the little tomboy in my mind got shredded."  
>I nodded nervously as I gulped. My heartbeat was pounding in my throat. I knew she was speaking of the past, but hearing her speak of another girl in such ways made me sweat and pound.<p>

"After that I don't know, I loved her but I didn't let myself realize? I know it sounds silly, but I always thought she was straight, so I guess it was kind of a defense mechanism." she said as I kept looking at her. She went on with her story  
>"One night, we had a bit too much to drink and I kissed her and she kissed me back and from that moment, I don't know we started making out from time to time. I never asked her how she felt about it. Even though she was my best friend, I was scared to ask her honestly, scared and maybe too proud to let her see that I wasn't this cool, down to earth person." She said looking down as I smirked.<p>

"Sounds familiar." I said as she chuckled embarrassed.

"Anyways, one day she just cornered me in the school bathroom and kissed me. First I thought it was like all the other times, but she whispered in my ear that she loved me. I ran." she said and shaking her head. Somehow I started feeling a bit uncomfortable, I wanted to know all of this, I it was just hard to hear the one you love rant about another girl. Someone she used to love, or still loved?

"Are you okay?" she asked me as I snapped my eyes at her. I hadn't realized I was looking down into my palms.  
>"Yeah I squeaked out as she frowned.<br>"Babe I can stop if you want me to." she said but I shook my head. "Alright, I'll skip a bit of details, I'm sorry." she said as I grasped her hand.  
>"No." I said sternly. "I want you to tell me, okay?" I said as she nodded. "I just get a bit queasy hearing you talk about someone else yanno." I said to her. She cupped my face and kissed my lips.<p>

"I don't want you to feel this way, it's a bit hard to tell you everything while-" she started saying as I cut her off.

"No, I want you to tell me. Just tolerate this little thing okay." I smiled lightly. She smiled and nodded.

"All right. Uhm right I ran and after I had a talk with Rosie. Apparently we hadn't been very subtle about what we were doing. She told me I loved her and that I shouldn't waste this time. So I admitted to Rosie that I liked her." she chuckled. "But I had admitted to myself that I loved her. So I went to her house, I apologized, she told me I was an asshole and a fool." she said laughing a bit my lip harder this time. "She told me that her feelings had been pretty obvious from the start and asked me why I was so surprised when she voiced those feelings. I suppose I was a bit of an idiot." she said to me as I smirked obviously sharing the opinion on Sophie's dance to a relationship.

"I know, I know, I get like this when someone gets close." she said as she grabbed both of my hands. "But you should know that once they're in, they're in. It was like that with her and it's like that with you." she said brushing her hand of my cheek.

"After that, I was happy. We were together for 2 years, she got killed a couple months before the longest summer one can have, the summer after secondary school, the summer before university. The summer before you have to grow up basically." she said as she sat down next to me.

"And boy did that make me grow up in certain ways." she said as I heard a crack in her voice. "The thing you witnessed before with that guy, well I got like that because- because." she started stuttering.

"I know." I said quietly trying to calm her down. I put my hand on hers and squeezed lightly. She looked up the sky and took a deep breath.

"It was a drug transfer, she was supposed to play bait. Greg and Jay had been getting a lot of their gang members sent off to jail. Greg wanted to send Jay to jail by getting him caught dealing drugs. But he found out, Jay realized the cops were arriving and he shot her. She died on the way to the hospital." she ranted looking away from me. "I was in the ambulance when they called her death." she said as I could see her clenching her teeth.

"I'm so sorry Soph." I said to her as she sighed loudly.

"Thanks." she said looking at me as I caressed her cheek. I cupped her face and kissed her lips, lingering a bit. "It was my fault. She wasn't part of the gang, they made me ask her, because Jay didn't know her." she said as she broke down in tears. I shook my head.

"The fault always lies within the person that holds the gun babe, remember that." I said to her as she shook her head.  
>"Yeah, that's what they kept telling me. I knew that he had pulled the trigger, but - oh God the guilt consumed me Sian. I had so much guilt and hatred towards him and myself. That summer I was on the path of revenge that. I couldn't forgive myself for what had happened and the fact that he was running around free- it made my heart bleed and my blood boil; it still does." she said bitterly.<p>

"I worked with the police and the only thing they could get him on was drug possession. He couldn't be linked to the scene, because if we testified they would just brush it off as gang rivalry. No one believed us. There was no motive, no evidence and the only witnesses were the rival gang. I tried for months to get him convicted. I tried so hard to work with the police, and the only thing they managed was getting him 6 months for drug possession." she said angrily as she kicked a can violently away.

"I'm sorry Soph." I said rubbing her back. "I can't believe they didn't believe your story." I said baffled. I honestly couldn't believe that, how could they just let a murderer walk away?  
>"We're from the wrong side of town, and we're involved in gangviolence. They don't care like they do when it concerns a rich townie." she explained as I shook my head.<p>

"I fell deep after that, and the fact my gang thought I had been ratting them out to the police didn't help." she said as I frowned.  
>"What?"<br>"One afternoon I made such a big scene concerning Cara's file and why they closed it, Tyh held me in a cell for hours, until I calmed down. 2 Of the gang members were caught, and they assumed I told the police." she stated as I frowned even more.

"Why couldn't you just tell them it wasn't you?" I asked her as she answered  
>"I had helped someone from another gang, I thought they meant that and I- honestly I didn't have the strength to fight." she stated as I nodded.<p>

-.

She had been telling me her story now for over an hour. She told me about the guilt she felt after the first time we slept together, she told me she felt guilty for loving me, but that she worked through that.

"And that's the end of it." she said as I nodded.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

**Sian **

I felt over flown with emotions and sorrow. "I'm sorry Soph." I said. I had been saying that over and over again. I didn't know what else to say. What would make it better?

"You don't have to keep saying that." She said voicing my thoughts. I pursed my lips.  
>"Sorry." I whispered. "I don't really know what to say." I said to her.<p>

She laughed "Great you wouldn't talk to me before because you didn't know and now you can't because you do."

"Sophie! It's not like that." I said as she smiled.  
>"I know." she said as she held my hand. "I don't want to dwell over it either babe. I still feel the loss, I do, but I dealt with it a couple months ago. I guess I finally got the closure I needed. She's in my heart, and I know that somewhere she's looking over me once in a while. She wouldn't want me to stay stuck in the pit I was before." She said to me as I nodded.<p>

"I wish I could've been there for you." I stated desperately.

"No, I needed to deal with it on my own babe." she said to me as I nodded.

"Let's go back to the house yeah? I'll make some hot coco?" she said as I nodded.  
>"Thank you for telling me." I said as she took hold of my hand and rubbed it with her thumb.<br>"I shouldn't have kept it from you for this long." she replied.  
>"Yeah I know. I wish your friends hadn't witnessed my blindness to the situation back there." I said as she frowned. "I really felt stupid being out of the loop, and at the same time I didn't feel like the person you supposedly love. And now all your friends will think I'm like- you know?" I said realizing my sentence must've not made much sense but she nodded.<p>

"I know and not supposedly, I do love you. If you want I can make a big declaration of love?" she said as I chuckled pushing her a bit.  
>"No, I'll seem needy." I said as she sighed. "Look I'm not entirely-not mad at you, but I'm less upset? Does that make sense?" I asked her as scrunched up her nose.<br>"You're still mad at me." she stated.  
>"Baabe. I just said- I haven't had time to process everything yet okay? I'm not entirely okay with everything, but I am grateful you told me. And we'll be okay. I just need a bit of time okay?" I said to her as she nodded.<p>

-.

"All right here we go. A hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows for my lady." she said as she sat down on the couch. I put the cup on the table and snuggled into her body. "You don't want it?" She asked looking at the steaming cup.

I chuckled "I do, I'm just waiting for it to cool down a bit." She smiled and kissed my lips. I sighed rubbing my head against her shoulder.

"Do you want pearl harbor or the shawshank redemption?" she asked holding up two DVDs.  
>"I'll take The shawshank redemption." I said quietly as she nodded and put the DVD on.<p>

We had been watching for some time now as she put the DVD on pause. I looked up confused and I could see she was cross. "What's wrong?" I asked as she sighed.

"You haven't said a word to me throughout the whole movie." she stated and I frowned.  
>"I'm watching the movie babe, I'm not -" I started saying but she cut me off.<br>"You're a talker. As much as it's an endearing pain in my ass during a movie, I know something is up when you're just sitting there." she ranted and I didn't know what to say.

"What's going on? Are you still upset?" she asked me hitting the nail on the head. I got a bit frustrated. She knew I was still slightly upset, and dwelling over it wouldn't help.  
>"Babe I said I just needed time. You can't get upset at me for still being a bit upset. I know why you didn't tell me and as much as I understand, my emotions are still there. You can't just shake something off, when you've been that- uggh you know." I squeaked.<p>

"I know I just wish you'd understand." she said.  
>"I do understand and I'm here for you, just let me get there in my own time. I'm not mad, I just need to regroup my feelings a bit. Soph, please let's just watch the movie." I pleaded with her but she didn't move, she only watched me.<br>"Babe, we've worked out the reason why you didn't tell me certain things, but I still need to get over it. I can't get over it in a few hours." I said to her in a high pitch voice. I saw a glint of desperation in her eyes.

"I'm sorry." She stated as I groaned.  
>"Don't be sorry please. After all you've been through- I-" I sighed not finishing my sentence.<br>"No, you're right. You do have a reason to still be upset with me. Telling you what happened doesn't change the fact I waited so long." She said sighing while she looked down.

" I'm just having a hard time juggling my feelings towards you in one hand and- my other feelings for you in the other." I said slowly having a hard time forming thoughts into words.

"Feelings? Meaning pity in one and anger in the other?" she stated hurt while looking at me. Looking very intensely.  
>"It's not pity or anger, well it was anger before, but not anymore. I feel terrible about what happened to you, because I love you. You're like the shadow of my pain, the grief of my grief, you know? Don't you get that?" I said to her as she nodded. "So it's not pity and anger babe, it's hurt, because you're hurting and hurt because I am." I stated taking a deep breath.<p>

"Come here." she said as she embraced me with a hug. She held me so tight and kissed my neck.  
>"What can I do to make it hurt less? she asked in a whisper.<br>"Time heals all wounds." I stated as she sighed. "I love you." I said to her as I kissed her lips tenderly.

she put the movie back on. I wrapped my arm around her waist and rested my head on her shoulder. Some people would find it strange that I would be snuggling on the sofa, while I'm actually upset at the person I'm snuggling. Sometimes we need the person we love to comfort us, even if it is them that caused the discomfort in the first place.

"Sophie?" I heard someone come in. It was Rosie. She looked at me with a smile as she came into the living room. "Alright?" She asked as I nodded gently. "Soph?" She asked Sophie who was looking blankly at the tv. I frowned  
>"Maybe I was wrong to tell her how I was feeling before, I might have caused more harm than good to our relationship." I thought as I gulped.<p>

"I think I might go upstairs, freshen up and all." she said when she finally spoke. She got up and went for the stairs. Rosie frowned at me and sat next to me.

"You two alright? It was getting heated there before, on the street." she said as I nodded acknowledging what she meant. She looked at me and made a tutting sound. she waved her hands up and let them fall back into her lap. "Are you okay Sian?" She asked as I looked at her. She almost made me laugh the way she was looking at me expectantly.

"Yeah I'm fine." I said to her.  
>"Have I ever told you, I don't believe in the word fine. It usually means something else anyways and makes it completely superfluous. So I'll ask again: Are you okay Sian?" She repeated.<br>"I'm okay Rosie." She said looking at me skeptically. "What?" I said sounding annoyed.  
>"Just not convinced that's all." she said making me groan a little.<br>"Well what's with the question anyways? You saw what happened." I said frustrated with the girl.

"Did she tell you?" She asked me.  
>"Yeah." I answered.<br>"Made you feel better?" She asked knowing the answer.  
>"No." I answered again while fiddling with my fingers. I looked at her as she smiled. Rosie wasn't as superficial as everybody thought she was. "It made me understand more. But it also-" I started saying as I decided to stop.<br>"What?" She said looking at me expectantly. She somehow made it easy to trust her. "I won't judge, on contrary to popular believes." She stated.

"It also made me feel as if I don't have a right to be upset." I stated honestly.  
>"Well that's utter bollocks isn't it?" she said bowing her head to the side and making me laugh a bit.<br>"Is it?" I said looking at her and she smiled.  
>"Having an explanation for your behavior doesn't make it go away." she stated as I nodded.<br>"Yeah I know, I can't shake the guilt though. It's not that I don't understand and that I don't think it justifies the way she acted, because it does. I justifies everything, but it still hurts. Does that make me a bad person?" I asked her as she chuckled.  
>"Don't be daft. Sophie is smarter than you give her credit for. She knows this." She stated and I nodded.<p>

"I know." I said quietly. "I just- I want to hold her and comfort her, but at the same time I can't make the fact that she lied to me and didn't trust me, made me look like a fool, - I could go on." I said chuckling a bit. " I can't make it disappear, if I don't deal with it now it'll come out later. And I don't want that." I said determined as Rosie nodded.

"Have you told her then?" she asked me.  
>"Yeah, I told her I needed time." I stated as she got up.<br>"Well then that's what you'll have. Sophie's a smart lass, she knows." she stated as I laughed.

She started walking away with a smirk as I said "Does it suit you?" I asked her as she turned around.  
>"Does what suit me?" She asked me in reply.<br>"That everyone thinks you're a superficial no brainer with easy access pants?" I asked as she pretended to be offended.  
>"That's what's going around? I'm hurt!" She said smirking a bit. I raised an eyebrow. She smirked and said "You'd be surprised how much people tell you when they think you've a raison pits for a brain. Besides, it allows me do what I want. It amuses me, if I don't like something, I just put my 'I don't understand' face and they leave me alone." She said as I laughed.<p>

-.

As I entered Sophie's room I smiled at the sight. It always intrigued me how it looked so different than the rooms we had back at school. It was completely covered in posters and random pictures. She had recently put up one of ours. We didn't have a picture of the two of us, so she decided we had to go into a photo booth. I chuckled at the memory. I saw pictures of her and other girls, I wondered which one was Cara. Did she look a bit like me? Or not at all?

My phone started buzzing again. Mac had been calling me all day. I was dreading to answer but I knew she wouldn't give in. I sighed and pressed 'answer'.

"Hey." I said gently.  
>"Where the fuck have you been? I've been trying to reach you for 3 days now!" she shouted at me as I sighed.<br>"I just have to take care of some things Mac. We don't have that much rehearsal to do anyways."  
>"You need to rehearse whether it's a lot or not. What about the companies ay? What about after you graduate?"<br>"I've already been accepted Mac." I answered.  
>"What? How's that possible? We only know after the last showcase." she stated.<br>"Well I've had an early acceptance to the royal ballet. The showcase is pretty much a formality."  
>"Well that's just great for you now isn't it Sian? What about all of us hu!? We still need to do a showcase and we need you! she stated angrily and frustrated.<br>"Look I've only missed 3 days in total for now okay? I'll be back by the end of the week, that leaves us a whole week to rehearse. I promise alright? You have my word. I'll be there on Friday." I stated as she groaned.  
>"Fine! But get your fucking act together. And I'm NOT covering for you anymore. You can explain to your mother why you've been gone." she said angrily.<br>"Like she doesn't already know. Look we all graduate in a week when we're done with the showcase. I'll be there I promise, alright?" I said as I could feel she had calmed down  
>"All right, if you're not there on Friday though you're out of the showcase okay?"<br>"Okay."

A knock on the door startled me. I looked behind me and saw Sophie standing in the doorway.  
>"I've got to go okay?" I said as I hung up. "Hey." I smiled at her as she nodded and smiled a bit.<br>"What you doing?" She asked me as I shrugged.  
>"Just nosing around." I smiled.<br>"Who was that one the phone?" she asked me.  
>"Just Mac." I said with a high pitched voice and a wide smile.<br>"Sian what's going on? I heard you on the phone." She stated as I sighed. "You're skipping classes aren't you? " she stated as my silence confirmed her suspicion. "Babe, I thought you told me you had a couple days off?"

"I lied." I said quietly as I sat on the bed and she sighed.  
>"Sian you can't skip school. What about graduating?" She asked me.<br>"I'll still be graduating." I said almost rolling my eyes. She got up and went to get something. When she returned she shuffled awkwardly and held out an envelope to me. I widened my eyes in anger and fear as saw the stamp of the royal ballet on the cover. "You've been going through my bag?!" I shouted angrily while snatching the envelope out her hand.

"I found it when I was looking for a towel. We don't have any anymore so I was hoping you brought one. So I wasn't nosing okay?" She stated as frowned.

I looked at her and sighed. "When were you going to tell me you got in?" She asked me as I snapped my head to her in shock.

"You read it?!" I asked angrily.  
>"No, of course not but what else could a letter like that mean Sian?" She asked me while sitting next to me. "Sian, babe what's going on?" she asked me as I sighed and groaned quietly.<p>

"It's an early acceptance letter, I wasn't supposed to tell anyone. I still have to do the showcase, but it's basically just a formality." I stated and she pursed her lips.  
>"Aren't you afraid it's not though. It's not an official letter. You still have to rehearse and do the showcase. I don't understand what you're doing here." she said high pitched.<p>

"I'm here because I was worried about you, I still am." I said to her and she put her hand on top of mine.  
>"Babe you have to go back. This is your dream, I'm okay now. You don't need to worry about me." She stated as I groaned loudly this time. "What? What is it?" She asked.<p>

As I lay on the bed and covered my hands I said "I just don't know if I still want it as much." She took my hands away and I could see her frowning, obviously confused.  
>"I don't understand." She said bending over me.<p>

"I always thought this is what I wanted to do, but now-" I started saying as I ended my sentence in a sigh.  
>"Now what?"<br>"Now, I don't know if I want it anymore. It was always my plan to graduate from the performing arts college, do my final showcase, get through the auditions -which is basically a formality for us and a opportunity for the people that didn't do a showcase to get in too- and be a prima ballerina." I rambled as Sophie nodded.  
>"Yeah, what's changed? You still wanted this a month ago." She stated and I sighed looking at her.<br>"I know, or I thought I knew." I said quietly. "I just- there's so much that has changed, I don't know if I want to torture my body for 10 years only to be pushed aside when I turn 28 and devote my life to teaching, anymore." I continued. Sophie nodded understandingly .  
>"I might want to do other things. I remember wanting to do this one thing, but I was so wrapped up with Ballet I only saw it as a pass-time, a hobby you know. But now with you, I don't want to be on the road. I might just want to stay here with you and-" I started saying as Sophie started disagreeing with what I said.<p>

"You can't give it up for me! I don't want you to, you'll end up resenting me for it and wondering what if. No Sian. I'll go on the road with you, we can try for a while and if you still decide you don't want to do it, then you can stop. I won't let you give up your dream for me." She said angrily.

"Babe, dreams change. I might want to do some theatre -I used to love theatre- and settle down with you. You might be my next dream. And I don't want to wonder what if for the rest of my life if my ballet career will take its toll on us. Because it will." I said loudly but Sophie shook her head.

"I don't want you to make this decision now, you're being too impulsive." She said determined.  
>"Babe! I'm not being-" I started saying but she cut me off.<br>"No, I want you to try first. I won't stand in the way of you and ballet." she said as she got up walked towards the door.  
>"Soph." I said sounding upset.<br>"End of discussion." She stated as she turned around. "Please babe, at least try, you've been working for this you're whole life. You can't blame me for not wanting you to give it up because of a fleeting moment of doubt." She said to me as I understood her. I would do the same, I wouldn't just let her give up music.  
>"What if it isn't fleeting though?" I couldn't keep myself from asking though.<br>"Well then you can still decide to do something else." She stated.  
>"But I'll lose a whole year." I said huffing a bit.<br>"A year is never lost babe. You know that. Besides what's one year in a whole lifetime." She smiled as she walked out of the room.

"Well you only have about 90 years." I mumbled.

-.

"You guys ready to go out?" Rosie yelled from down the stairs. We had decided to go out, they would show me around the clubbing areas in Manchester. I couldn't hide the fact I was a little excited. It had been a very long time since I had gone out properly with Sophie. So much shit had been going on, we never really had much time to have fun and go out like normal people of our age.

"Yeah we'll be right down." I shouted back as I was just applying the finishing touches of my mascara. I looked at Sophie in the mirror and smiled. She was wearing a cream-colored dress. I smiled, it had been a while since I had seen her dressed up.

When we arrived at the club, it seemed Sophie knew everyone. We at least had to stop every five feet to greet someone. At one point Rosie even shouted at Sophie to stop mingling and just sit find a place to sit.

I wasn't really the big jealousy type, but seeing all these girls come up to Sophie, some kissing, some hugging, it intimidated one. And it was definitely filled with awkward pauses, where they stopped looking at Sophie and looked at me with a confused look on their faces.

There's nothing more awkward then having a friend or worse your girlfriend encounter people she knew and you're standing there awkwardly waiting to be introduced. Somehow people also found it odd that I was her girlfriend. I suppose they all knew Cara. I sighed happily as we finally sat down.

We ordered some drinks. I was happy to have some alcohol flow into my system, it definitely relaxed me.

Once in a while one of Sophie's old friends would come by, one of them even stayed and was chatting to us.

"I'm intrigued by you Sian." he stated.  
>"Why? " I asked amused by what he was saying.<br>"How the hell did you get Sophie so whipped?" He asked as I started laughing loudly while Sophie hid her face in my neck.  
>"Well it wasn't easy, I'll tell you that." I said as Sophie smiled lightly. "It was worth it though." I said quietly as she smiled widely. She pecked my lips.<p>

"You guys are cute." He said as I smiled.  
>"Thanks, Ben." I stated. We chitchatted for about an hour, he even asked us how we got together. We told him how we didn't start off too good, we even played pranks on each other but we made it through anyways.<p>

"I'll be right back." Sophie said kissing my cheek.  
>"Are you up for a dance Sian?" He asked me as I smiled.<br>"Sure." I said as I got up.

We started dancing playfully as he got distracted by a girl that started grinding into him. I didn't really mind to be honest. I never minded dancing on my own. As I was in my own vibe I could feel two arms snaking around my waist. It couldn't have been Sophie, because these arms were far from slender and soft. These were harry and harsh.

I turned around and saw a lad trying it on. He tried grinding into me as I backed away politely, pointing out I wasn't interested. Only he didn't back off and just kept trying. I was looking for a familiar face anyone I could find to help me, but neither Sophie or anyone else I knew was to be spotted.

He had his hands roaming over my body as I tried pushing him away. I pushed harder and finally got out of his grip. I walked, running a little, out of the club and caught a bit of air.

I leaned against the wall and sighed. "Men." I thought bitterly. I frowned as I heard a familar voice sounding harsher than normal.

I looked around the corner that was hiding me and saw Greg. I quickly stepped back, for some reason I didn't want him to see me. It wasn't my plan to eavesdrop but I couldn't help but overhearing.

"Look mate just calm down." He said to the guy that was with him.  
>"If he tells the police and Maurice finds out I'm finished alright! Not only need to worry bout being kicked out, I'm worried about being kicked period." He said sounding stressed.<br>"Look just invent some evidence, have the gang turn against him instead of you." He stated.  
>"How do I do that?" the other one asked.<br>"It's not that hard, just fake something. And if you can't fake anything, just do something and pin it on him."  
>"You sound like you've got experience." The guy stated to Greg. Greg laughed.<br>"Yeah well, don't repeat this but I do." He said as I widened my eyes. I felt the need to get back inside, if they saw me I could get in some serious trouble.

"Who then?" I heard one say. "No one in your gang has be-" He started saying as I stood frozen against the wall. "Wait, Webster?" I heard Sophie's last name being mentioned. I frowned.  
>"Like I said don't repeat it. Webster was beginning to get difficult, telling the coppers all sorts just because her bird got caught in the middle, so I made her back off. She's back now, but since she's been hanging out with her twinkle toes lab partner she's letting it go a bit." he stated as I frowned.<p>

"What the hell? And twinkle toes?" I thought. I knew I had to get out of there. They would go back inside sooner or later and they would see me standing there. I decide to open the door and let it close loudly. I came around the corner and smiled.

"Oh hey Greg." I said thinking this was the best solution, even being as quiet as I could, he still might have heard me go back inside, I didn't want to take that chance. This was a better idea. I frowned as he came over to me. Every inch of my body was sweating, I was even sweating through my underwear.

"Sian." he said as he and his mate went back inside. I sighed in relief.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

**Sophie pov**

I was wondering where Sian had gone. "Hey have you see Sian?" I asked my mate just as strands of blonde hair caught my attention. I smiled "Never mind."

I walked over to her as I saw her face being caught up in a frown. "Are you okay?" I asked her as she shook her head. "What happened?" I asked sounding concerned. I took her hand and led her to a quieter corner.

"I want to go home" she said as I frowned confused.  
>"Why? What's wrong? I thought you were having a good time?" I asked her as she sighed.<br>"I was, but please take me home" she pleaded sounding desperate.  
>"Baby, I can't just-" I started talking trying to reason with her but she cut me off anxiously.<br>"Please Soph!" She breathed heavily. I could sense she was in distress.  
>"Just tell me what happened" I said calmly trying to reflect on her.<br>"I can't- I" She started saying while she looked around. Her actions kept getting me more confused than before. "Look a guy tried it on and- please take me home, I'll tell you everything once I know we're alone" She whispered the last part in my ear as I frowned but nodded.  
>"Okay baby" I said as I wrapped my arm around her waist.<p>

I said goodnight to most of my mates. I told them Sian wasn't feeling well so I was going to take her home. We collected our coats and had to call a taxi, since Rosie was our ride and she was staying. I was still trying to figure out what was going on. Even though guy tried it on with her, she seemed fine. I knew that wasn't the real reason we were going home. She had been hit on before, she never made such a fuss. Maybe something worse happened because I wasn't there?

My mind was rambling and I was imaging the worse kind of scenarios, even rape crossed my mind. She'd be more upset than this though? This wasn't upset, this was...anxiousness and fear.

"Babe, will you finally tell me what's going on" I said as we entered the house. She put her purse on the table and put the kettle on.

"I got frightened" She said quietly as I nodded. I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her from behind.  
>"Yeah I figured that, but of what? What happened? Did that guy do something to you? Cause if he did I'll-" I started fuming as she turned around frowning and shook her head.<br>"That guy? Wha- Oh right, the _guy_. Soph that's not what this is about" She said clearly as I was taken aback.

"Then why tell me that?" I asked her as she sighed. She got out of my embrace and sat down. she petted the space next to her, hinting me to sit down next to her.  
>"Because I was scared someone in particular might have been listening" She said having her hands in her lap. It seemed like someone died and she was the one who had to tell me.<br>"Well we're alone now, so tell me. What's this all about? You're acting really strange. You're making me nervous" I said as she sighed laughing nervously.

"Yeah you should be" she mumbled under her breath as I widened my eyes.  
>"Honey seriously, what's going on? You're making me worried. I have a violent history remember, telling me I should be nervous, makes me feel like something big is going to go down" I said as I squeezed her arm.<p>

"I wish I didn't have to tell you this but-" She said sighing at the end of her sentence as I waited for her to complete it. "When I went outside to get away from some guy, I heard some guy and Greg-" She started saying as I heard the front door open. She froze and stopped talking as we heard Greg's voice. She seemed so scared which made me so confused. She was squeezing my hand and her face turned white.

"Greg?" I asked quietly as he himself entered the room.

"Hello mate" he said cheery as I smiled.  
>"Hey, good night?" I asked him as he nodded. I was still looking at Sian who's breath had gotten heavier.<br>"Sian" he smiled as she smiled fakily and nodded. "Am I interrupting something?" He asked as I was about to answer no, but Sian beat me to it.  
>She said "Kind of" She said in a bitchy way. I frowned, but I let it go.<br>"Actually, we're okay. Come, sit" I said as Sian frowned and crossed her arms.

"So how bout the club tonight hu? The music was pretty tight right?" He smiled as I nodded in agreement. Sian was shaking her head angrily.  
>"I'm going to sleep. I hope you and your slobs have a good night" Sian huffed as she got up. I widened my eyes and so did Greg and his mates.<br>"Sian! I, uhm-"I tried to hold her up a bit, but it was no use she had already stomped up the stairs. I looked at Greg and didn't know what to say.

"What's up with your bird mate?" Greg asked me as I shrugged slowly.  
>"I have no idea. I'll go check it out " I said as he smiled sheepishly and I went upstairs.<p>

"Sian?" I murmured as I entered the bedroom. She didn't even acknowledge the fact I was in the room. She completely ignored me, confusing me again. I grabbed her arm. "What is your problem?!" I asked her and she scoffed at me. She didn't say anything as I said a bit louder "Sian?" I looked at her expectantly. "What the hell is up with you?" I asked baffled as she finally answered me.

"My problem Sophie is that I'm trying to tell you something really important and you just brush it off, like that" She said snapping her fingers.  
>"Alright, I'm sorry. It's not Greg's fault that he came in at the wrong time. This house is the place for after parties, because it has a lot of space. I can't just send everyone home, it wouldn't be fair" I said to her as she shook her head chuckling bitterly.<p>

"It's not his fault" She said in a bitchy way as I pulled her towards me.  
>"What has gotten into you?" I asked in a low voice, trying not to get to worked up.<br>"He, has!" She said a bit louder as frowned confused.  
>"What?"<br>"Ugh, I tried to telling you before" She shouted.  
>"Tell me what? Will you tell me what the fuck is going on?" I yelled at her.<p>

"I can't, not while he's here. He might- Oh fuck it, he probably has already heard me, I may as well come out and say it" she said as I crossed my arms waiting expectantly.  
>"Go on" I said calmer now.<p>

"I heard him and his mate talk about you" She stated as I nodded.  
>"Right. So what? They were talking shit? Is that what this is about?" I asked her as she scoffed at me.<br>"I guess in a way they were." She sighed and looked at, her face expressing what she was feeling. She seemed in agony. She sighed deeply and said "It was him. The whole reason why you got kicked out of your gang." I frowned.

"What?" I said confused trying to grasp what she was telling me.  
>"He set you up Soph" She stated as I shook my head.<br>"Nah" I said trying to reason with my own thoughts and Sian's.  
>"So I'm lying then?" She said in a high pitch voice.<br>"I didn't say that. You just must've heard wrong, you must've heard it out of context. What did he say exactly?" I asked her.

"He told his mate that it was easy to have someone back off. That he did it to you and that he could do it to one of his 'gang members'" She said as I furrowed my brows. I tried grasping the idea of it even being remotely true.  
>"No, I-" I tried denying what she was saying.<br>"He played you, he played everyone" She said. "Babe, why would I lie?" she asked me desperately as I sighed and calmed down a bit. Seeing the girl I loved on the verge of tears made me believe she was telling the truth. She was right; why would she lie? But why would Greg do that?

"Alright, I'll confront him" I said as I was about to go down, but she held me back taking hold of my hand.  
>"And give him a chance to deny it and turn you against me?" She questioned anxiously.<br>"Babe, I have to find out one way or another" I said to her trying to get her see the logic in that.  
>"You can't! He might do something." She stated as I chuckled.<br>"Like what? "I asked her as she widened her eyes.  
>"Oh I don't know Sophie, he's a gang leader! I'm sure he'll think of something" she stated angrily. I hesitated for a moment but shook my head.<p>

"No, Greg is my mate. Besides, even if he did try, he knows I've got too much shit on him to even try to hurt me or anyone I love okay?" I asked her but she wasn't satisfied. "Come on" I said dragging her downstairs.

"Hey, you're back" he said as I pursed my lips. "Come to apologize then?" He asked looking at Sian as she huffed. "Guess not" He said sounding amused.

I looked at Sian who was standing at the end of the staircase. Her face was tense, her arms were crossed, I sighed. "Greg, I was wondering something" I said to him as he hummed a bit. "I was wondering whatever happened when Jake and Will were turned in. I mean it wasn't me who showed the evidence that sent them to jail so-" I was talking but he interrupted me.

"I don't know Sophie" He grumbled a bit.  
>"Well I think we should do an investigation, since this was the thing that got me kicked out" I scolded a little sounding annoyed.<br>"Just let it go mate, we'll never know who did it. It was probably one of Jay's guys anyways" he mumbled nonchalantly.  
>"He's lying " I thought. I had known Greg for a long time and I knew when he was lying, especially 'bout stuff like this. He wouldn't just let it go.<p>

"Right" I said and I looked at Sian who was still standing where she was 5 minutes ago. "Uhm Greg" I said nudging him and he looked at me. "The Mrs. and I would like to be alone, she's kind of upset. I know this is the after party and all, but would you mind if we just didn't do one, just this once?" I asked him as he chuckled.

"I get it, you want to get laid, I'll go. It's not much of an after party anyways" he said as he took his jacket and headed for the door while his lads followed him.

The minute they walked out of the door Sian rushed to me and said obviously sounding upset" Why didn't you confront him?!"  
>"And say what? Hey Greg I heard you say you got me kicked out of the gang, what's up with that?" I said sarcastically. She looked down and breathed heavily. "I was never going to confront him head on. This was just like a test" I told her as she frown.<br>"Then why not tell me that upstairs?" She asked as I looked at her regrettably.  
>"Sorry, I just got so anxious. I was in my own mind babe." I said to her as she huffed and sat on the couch.<p>

"Fucking twat" she mumbled angrily.  
>"Sian, the way you were acting towards him though- It was really reckless, like you said he <em>could<em> do something. Don't do that again, I don't want anything happening to you." I said as she looked at me.

"I know I'm sorry, he just annoys me. Sitting there all self - indulgent while he's just a piece of- aagh " she said in a high pitched voice as she sat down. She was shaking a bit.  
>"Babe, it's okay" I said while I wrapped my arms around her. "He's lying you know. I asked him those questions just to see what he would say. His answers told me enough" I said to her and she nodded.<p>

"What are you going to do now?" She asked me as I had to think about it for a couple of minutes.  
>"I don't really know" I finally said. "I can't really confront him with anything, it would be too dangerous. But I can't really act civil around him either, knowing he-" I said but a sigh finished my sentence.<p>

"I guess I could go to see Sol" I said finally breaking the silence we were both wrapped in for a couple of minutes. She lifted her head and looked at me frowning.  
>"Who's-" She asked as I answered before she could finish her question.<br>"Sol- Sol is basically someone that knows everything" I chuckled a bit. "I don't know how he does it, but he's like the crystal ball of the neighborhood" I said to her as she looked at me skeptically.

"I'm serious. Don't get me wrong, I would normally never consider Sol, but I'm out of options" I stated as she looked confused again.  
>"Sol asks for some things in return" I started saying while her frown started getting deeper as I continued "Not any sexual favors babe" I smiled as she shrugged. "Just the 'I scratch your back, you'll scratch mine' kind of policy" I said shyly and she still looked confused.<p>

"Okay for example" I said feeling my cheeks getting flushed. "Last time I asked Sol for a favor, I ended up filling in for one of his strippers at a club" I stated and her eyes almost popped out of her head.  
>"You what?!" She almost screamed as I looked down in shame.<br>"I'm not proud of it okay? But I needed that info and that was what he wanted me to do, so I did it. I didn't even have to take off my clothes, I just had to dance in a real sexy manner with not many clothes on. But I always had my underwear on!" I said as she chuckled.

"You better have! I'm not sharing those lips" She said before pecking my lips "Or any other ones" She continued while stroking my center. "With anyone" She whispered. I flinched a little as she added some pressure. She chuckled.  
>"How old were you anyways when that happened?" She asked as I cleared my throat.<br>"Uhm about- ugh like last year" I stated embarrassed. Suddenly her face grew grimmer.  
>"Oh" She said quietly.<br>"I wanted some information about-" I sighed and looked down.  
>"Cara" she finished my sentence for me. I nodded as she mimicked me and nodded too, understandingly.<p>

We went upstairs after that and I wrapped my arms around her once we were lying down. She was still a bit shaken with the whole ordeal.  
>"Hey, it's going to be okay. If I find out from Sol that it was really Greg, then we'll just pack our bags. I'll tell everyone and then we'll leave town and just go back to school okay?" I said to her as she frowned.<br>"You still don't believe me?!" She asked offended as I smiled.  
>"I do believe you baby. I need proof though. I won' t be able to convince the rest that he's no good with just <em>your<em> word." I stated as she nodded.  
>"They won't believe an outsider over him. I get that" she sighed. "I just don't want you to get into anything risky" She said as she hugged me tighter as if to show me she didn't want to let go of me. To show me, she really didn't want me to not get hurt.<p>

"I know babe" I said to her and I kissed her lips tenderly. "I won't though. Sol is harmless." I said to her as she nodded.  
>"What about the favor that you have to return?" She asked me as I shrugged a little.<br>"I don't know baby, I'll just see where the situation takes me okay?" I murmured as she breathed out heavily. She kissed my neck and nodded.

It was the first time in a while Sian clung on to me the whole night through. When I woke up I had breakfast with her and told her I was going to see Sol after we had finished having breakfast. I could see on her face she wasn't really at ease with the whole thing, but I had to go.

"I love you" I said to her before I walked out of the door into the streets of Manchester.

Sol's place wasn't far, it was only a couple streets down. To be honest if Sol wasn't such a closed off person, I would've hung out with him more often.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

**Sophie **

I was looking at the sober grey door, a small buzzer settled next to it; on the right side. I pushed it, but no voice came out. Only a buzzing sound and the light I spotted within the hallway was flickering. I pushed the door forcefully, I had to put my whole weight into it to push it open.

I entered Sol's place and walked through the open door that connected the hallway with another room, a dozen of coloured glass bottles -Sol probably collected over the years- were hanging under a shady light. The room looked like it had gotten trapped on a tv screen, completely discolored, during a storm. Sol always said he felt he was born in the wrong era. He always identified himself to the hippies of the 60's and 70's. The glooming glass bottles dressed the room in streams of coulours, giving it a body or an outline of a dream one would have when on LCD. I heard a door creak and rolled my eyes. I knew Sol was trying to scare me remembering the last time, when it did worked, but it wouldn't work this time.

"Sol." I said sounding a bit annoyed. "Come out, it won't work again." I said as a colorful figure, wearing sunglasses appeared. I smiled.

"Try should always be the word, my dear." He said as he smiled and raised his arms.

"Yes well, I am trying to do something." I said wary and his smile widened.  
>"Ah, you have come to Sol's home to seek his help." he said speaking in the third person. I shook my head, amused. I could never get used to his peculiar ways of talking,acting, ... being basically.<p>

"You know everything." I said pursing my lips and he agreed.  
>"The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing." He said quoting Socrates. I smiled bemused as he smiled back, as if he knew what I was thinking.<br>"Well you are wise." I said.  
>" The seed always finds its way back to the ground and finds within the dirt the purpose from which it came." He answered and I nodded.<br>"Right." I mumbled. I knew he always talked this way, and boy did I hope I would understand it. Most of the time people just nodded when he started talking in riddle like sentences.

He started walking off into another room - his office I presume- less colorful than the previous if not colorful at all, a certain shade of grey dominated the room. A Blue light sat in the center of the room; he sat next to it and so I followed.

"Sit." He said looking up to me. I sat down and fumbled with my bag, trying to fit it in my lap.

"Do you know why I'm here?" I asked him and he smiled.  
>"Deary your question already reveals the answer." he said happily. I nodded, chuckling mentally.<br>"Right. What do you know about Greg?" I asked him as he raised an eyebrow. "More specifically what do you know about Greg denouncing Will and Jacob?" I asked him.

"A friend becomes an enemy and an enemy becomes a friend, as a an apostle betrays his savior, so has a savior betrayed his men." He said smirking a little.  
>"Are you talking about Greg?" I asked him as he raised his finger and smiled.<br>"_Judas_ is amongst you. Ha." He smiled looking at me wide -eyed.

"Judas." I echoed. Someone did betray me or the whole group. I frowned and looked at Sol who was still smiling at himself.

"Why? You say he was our savior, so why? Why would he do that?" I asked him unconsciously stating the one that betrayed us being a he. Deep down I think I knew it was Greg, but I needed to hear second handed.

"Drowning you from within was love's death stench; questions and answers, and answers and questions fed your unsatisfied revenge." He stated.  
>"My revenge?" I murmured questioningly. "But it was for Jay, not for Greg." I stated as he laughed.<br>"Yes deary I'm sure." He answered. "However! Questions are good, but dangerous little creatures they are. Answers are even better, but oh what toll they claim." He stated confusing me a bit.

I knew I was asking alot of questions, I suppose so was the police. "Did Greg do this because I was telling the police things?" I asked him as he giggled inwardly.

"Questions and answers, and answers and questions; dangerous little creatures they are, betrayal passed your doorstep and that's the reason why. Money was claimed as betrayals reward, problems were solved, truth was silenced, now it speaks up again!" He almost yelled.

I scratched the back of my neck that was dampening with sweat. "Money. Greg got money?" I asked him trying to figure out what he was telling me.

"Money is that what tares people apart, yes-yes money! One of the tricky things it is." He said smiling to himself. I started repeating what Sol told me in my head. Money, betrayal. A scenario crossed my mind. I frowned deeply.

"Greg turned Will and Jacob in for money?!" I asked a little more upset now.

"The answer you seek is not in conformity with the question you ask." He stated as I frowned again.  
>"Sol? I - I'm not sure-" I stared asking him as he pointed up his finger.<br>"Deary, you don't want to know whether Greg turned those two in. You my dear want to know why he set you up." He said confirming Sian's story. "And that I have already told you deary- answers and questions- dangerous things, yes dangerous things." He said prolonging the last part of his sentence.

"Thanks Sol." I said getting up. "I should go." I said to him as he put on a pout.  
>"Already? But I was just going to put on a pot of tea!" He said standing up now.<br>"Sorry Sol." I said to him as I took my bag, and got out of the room.  
>"Don't forget deary! You owe me a favor." He yelled after me as I stopped, standing under the colored glass bottles, the light streams almost blinding me.<br>"Really?" I asked quietly while putting my hand above my head trying to block the light so I could see him properly.  
>"A deal is a deal! Now be gone." He said waving his hand at me as I chuckled.<p>

When I stepped through the door, placed my keys on the table- the cloth still covered in breadcrumbs from the bread we ate this morning- and settled in the couch.

I heard a pot of steaming tea whistle, soon after that I heard footsteps - Sian's footsteps- I smiled and got up.  
>"Hey." I said as she turned around quickly.<br>"Hey! How did it go? I didn't hear you come in." she stated and pecked my lips.  
>"Well you were right." I sighed deeply. She frowned sadly and gave me a gentle squeeze in the shoulder.<br>"I'm sorry. I didn't want to be right." She stated as I nodded.  
>"I know." I said quietly and silence came between us for a couple of minutes.<p>

"What do we do now?" She asked me but I heaved my shoulders.  
>"I'm not sure. We should pack our bags, I suppose." I told her as she furrowed her brows, looking quite confused. "We can't stay here now. I can't take that risk." I clarified. Her brows didn't move, they were still drawn together.<br>"Don't you want to confront him though?" She asked me as I gasped out.  
>"I suppose? I don't know. Last time stood in his way- what if he hurts me? Or worse you?" I pondered. She put her hand on mine, stepping forward.<br>"Hurt me?" She murmured putting her hands on my shoulders. I shuffled closer to her letting my head bow and diving in her embrace.  
>"He'll wonder how I know; and by the way you acted last night-" I said looking her straight in the eyes now. "I'm not taking that chance. Let's just go, you need to get back to college anyways." I stated smiling lightly and she agreed.<br>"Are you sure?" She asked me anyways and I sighed.  
>"I know I'm contradicting myself constantly, my mind is just a bit muddled. Let's just go, before I change mind again." I said trying to lighten the mood. She chuckled and nodded once more, this time agreeing to leaving.<p>

"Okay, you ready?" I asked Sian as she put the last shirt in her bag. She nodded and I walked over to her, pecking her on the lips. I rested my head against hers.  
>"Oh sorry!" I heard Rosie's voice behind me. "Sian are you going back? Why didn't you say you were going? We would've done a bon voyage dinner or something." Rosie said as we chuckled. She frowned however when she saw there were two bags beside me, on belonging to Sian and the other belonging to me. "Have I missed something?" She asked eyeing my bag. I sighed and licked my lips that had gone dry.<br>"I can explain." I said quickly making her raise an eyebrow.  
>"I'm listening."<br>"Okay- I need to go back with Sian and I- some things changed. I wanted to try get back in, without you guys knowing , so I wouldn't - you know- get embarrassed if I didn't make it." I lied as Rosie chuckled, although her eyes were unconvinced.  
>"Right. Well do you at least have some time for one last dinner? I'll ask the guys over. We don't have to tell them anything, just for you in your head it'll be a goodbye dinner." She smiled and I caved. I looked at Sian who seemed to have been tempted too. She nodded her head and I agreed.<p>

The first ring at the door startled me. I looked at Sian who seemed just as uneasy as I was. I knew Greg was one of 'the guys' and that he would be there. I didn't know how Sian would react to him; knowing her and her temper.

Greg and Laura entered the room after a couple of others had arrived and I saw Sian tense up. I held her hand and smiled, hoping she would mimic me, but she didn't. I squeezed her hand trying to make her do something but she just sat there.  
>I stood up and greeted Greg, trying to keep my temper. I didn't want to look at this scum, but I knew what he was capable of.<p>

"So what's for dinner?" Laura asked as I chuckled.  
>"Uhm not sure, I think pizza; sorry." I smiled seeming embarrassed.<p>

"Okay bye Guys, thanks for dinner." I said while walking out the last of the guys. I was about to close the door as Greg put his foot in the doorway. "Greg?" I murmured sounding startled.  
>"Sorry Webster, your sister promised me one more drink." he stated but I frowned.<br>"Well as she didn't mention it, I'm thinking she changed her mind. Another time, ay?" I said to him trying to close the door.  
>"That's okay, I have you to keep me company, right?" He sniggered pushing his way and I clenched my teeth together, feeling angry but scared. I felt uncertain too, Greg normally wouldn't put so much effort into having a drink, which made me feel even more queasy.<p>

"Where's your bird?" He asked. I conveniently send Sian to get some things from the store. I suppose my subconscious knew this tea could turn sour.  
>"Not here." I answered vaguely.<br>"Something on your mind, mate?" He asked me while getting a beer out of his fridge.  
>"What makes you say that?" I asked with a monotone voice.<br>"Well you've been frowning at me for hours now. _And_ your bird always seems to be whispering things whenever I look at her." He stated raising his eyebrows. I didn't want to confront him, but the anger that was bubbling inside of me, made me blurt out things I'd rather had not said.

"Oh well I don't know, maybe she doesn't like you screwing me over by making me take the fall for why some of the lads were in prison?"  
>He raised an eyebrow and I closed my eyes regretting my own word vomit.<br>"You're joking right?" He asked sounding a bit more on edge. I nodded quickly, suddenly feeling not so brave anymore.  
>"Yes. Sorry." I said quickly. He narrowed his eyes though and started laughing.<br>"You know it's not like anyone would believe you anyways." He said while my breathing was picking up. "Besides if you did open your mouth, and started spreading those rumors, who knows what could happen to your sweet little lady?" He said almost hissing. I widened my eyes.  
>"What's that supposed to mean? Are you threatening her?" I said as my fear conveniently left my side.<br>"Well some people might be angry and well when people are angry, they can't be accountable for their actions."  
>"If <em>you<em> come near her-" I started saying but got interrupted by Rosie entering the living room.  
>"I swear this is the second time I interrupt people today. Carry on." She said trying to leave but I leapt to her side.<p>

"No. We're done here, aren't we?" I said staring at him and he smiled slyly.

...

After trying to convince Sian everything was fine we left. I had tried to calm her down for most of the night after my little debacle with Greg. She only fell asleep after I tried it on with her, kissing her to relax her. When the morning finally broke we were putting things in Rosie's car as I saw Greg arrive again at our doorstep. I took Sian's hand and dragged her behind me.

"Hey Webster." He said and after a while added "Look, I'm sorry about yesterday. You're right, I did do that. I was angry and you deserve a better mate." He stated as I frowned. I wasn't sure where he was heading with this. "Just stay for one more night. You can tell everyone the truth, and I'll deal with the consequences." He stated as I snorted.  
>"I don't know what has gotten into you, but this actually frightens me more." I said as I led Sian to the passenger seat and shut the door. "Look I'm leaving okay? Isn't that what you want? So please, let me. I don't want any trouble. My place isn't here anymore anyways, so why does it matter?" I said to him.<br>"It matters for my conscience, so please. I already told Rosie, she thinks it's a good idea to tell the group. We can finally just work this all out." He said and I frowned.  
>"Rosie?"<p>

"Do I hear my ears burning?" She said coming out of the house and joining us.  
>"I told her, that I told you, and that we should tell the lads too." He said to her as she nodded while pursing her lips.<br>"Good. So are you up for it?" Rosie said confusing me.  
>"You're okay with this? With what he did to me? " I asked her and she turned her head to the side.<br>"Look we've all made mistakes, please let's just work things out." she stated as I was baffled. My own sister wasn't on my side. Again.


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

**Sophie**

"I don't understand why you can't see through this?!" Sian was shouting at me.  
>"Babe, my own sister wants me there. I told her I'd do it okay?" I said to her as she snorted.<br>"Right! Cause' your sister is such a good judge of character? Sophie last time something happened, she didn't give you time for an explanation, she believed him over you!"  
>"I know that, but that was because- I don't know, she didn't know the facts!"<br>"And now she does, and she still chooses his side. It really makes you wonder if she's not in it too!?" She said with a high pitched voice. I almost wanted to slap her, but I knew she meant well.  
>"I can't believe you just said that! Look it's only one more night, we don't even have to stay the night. We go to the stupid party, I explain things and then we bounce okay?" I said my rhythm picking up.<p>

"Fine." She scowled as she opened the car door and huffed her way into the passenger seat. Rosie had carpooled with Jenny, since we were going to use the car to go back to college. Rosie was going to take the train and drive the car back, it would all save us more money, since she had to be in the neighborhood.  
>I was tapping my fingers against the steer wheel's leather, holding the small post-it between my fingers with the address written on it. I looked towards Sian who had her feet on the dashboard and was blowing some hot air into her palms before rubbing them together. "Babe. Please just do this for me." I said to her but she sighed.<br>"I have been Sophie. I'm only worried for you. You just forget sometimes, that once upon a time, I found you in the snowy streets of Manchester, with more bruises and blood on your skin than I could count. I can't see you beat up by these kinds of people again." She stated as I cringed at her word choice 'these kinds of people' but I let it go. I knew she was worried and this wasn't her scene. She was used to ballet rivalry and cocktail drinks. She was an uptown girl, and yes her own nasty world shouldn't be underestimated either, but this was different. People got killed here over a wrong attitude.

"Well that led to something nice at least." I said trying to lighten the mood.  
>"Oh right, which part? The part where you left me in your bed, or where I didn't see you for 2 weeks." She muttered but sighed in the end.<br>"No, the part where I had you screaming out my name during a mind blowing orgasm." I stated, again trying to lighten the mood. A small smile hovered on her lips, even though she was trying to hide it. "All I'm asking is one hour. And you don't even have to be nice to Greg." I said to her which seemed to cheer her up.  
>"True that." She muttered staring out of the window, seeming less angry and added "At least that's something."<p>

"Seriously what is this place?" Sian asked sounding annoyed as we stumbled into the empty and dark warehouse. "I swear Sophie if I'm getting killed in this creepy place, I will not share a freaking bed with you in the afterlife. Nor will I consider doing a threesome with you and your other girlfriend and-" she started rambling.  
>"Can you not make jokes about Cara?" I said to her sounding a bit more angry. Her gaze softened and her expression turned to guilt.<br>"I'm sorry. I'm just on edge." She stated and I huffed, agreeing with her.  
>"Yeah, you're well the insensitive bitch." I said baffling her a bit.<br>"Feel better?" She asked me and I nodded. "Me too." She said as we both smiled.

A piercing alarm made us both turn on our heels, looking up. I started to panic and looked at Sian, who seemed as confused and freaked out as I was. If this was a joke, it was a well lame one.  
>"What's going on?" I heard Sian trying to scream above the sizzling sound. I heaved my shoulders. My mind was ranting. Next thing I knew I saw a handful of flashlights surrounding us.<br>"Guys this isn't funny!" I shouted as the alarm was turned off and the lights on. All I could see though were various black caps with the police insignia plastered onto it. I sighed and groaned out of frustration when I saw them approaching in bullet proof vests pointing their gun at us. Sian quickly put her hands in the air as did I. I looked confused at them.

"Well, well if it isn't Sophie Webster." I heard someone say. I turned around and saw the detective that handled Cara's case, a well off asshole. "Detective Barass?" I said sounding confused, yet skeptical at the same time.

"I see you've found yourself another young lady to get in trouble. I wouldn't hang around this one lass, people's blood turn cold around her." He stated as Sian widened her eyes.

"And people that hang around you get short of breath, I mean-" I stopped and started breathing in loudly, sounding like I was having a hard time to breathe. Sian moved towards me ignoring the commands to stay put. I beckoned her to stay put.  
>"What's wrong?" She hissed as I put my hand on my chest. "Soph-"<br>"I don't know, I just can't breathe- I - detective Barass' ego is just suffocating me!" I stated raising my arms as some of the officers chuckled while they put down their guns.

"You know having an attitude in a situation like this, is not going to help you." He stated.  
>"Well would her highness be so kind into revealing which situation I'm in exactly?" I asked.<br>"Please Sophie save me the theatrics." He said taking out his cuffs.  
>"I have my rights. I want to know what I'm apparently getting arrested for."<br>"This is one of the abandoned warehouses where we found a meth lab, we know it was your 'gang' handling it. I was just waiting for one of you to show up and claim the profits." He stated as I frowned.  
>"I haven't even been in town for that long."<p>

"You didn't need to be. I know for a fact you're part of that gang, I have it black on white, and that's all I need to nail you for this." He stated with a sly grin. "And your new girl-toy." He added gesturing one of the officers to take her with him. I sighed, I had been arrested before but I was under sixteen at the time so it didn't go on my permanent record. Now that I was legal, things could go bad for me. I knew I shouldn't have trusted Greg. _Another set up, that's just great. _

"Come on Ms. Webster, you know the drill." He stated and I closed my eyes sighing while I let him cuff me.  
>"Soph." I heard Sian shriek as they put both of us in the combi. "What the fuck Sophie?!" Sian hissed at me. "You just let them do this? How can you be so passive about this?!" She asked a bit louder. I sighed and looked at her.<br>"What would you have me do? There's not much we can do. Better to just figure it out once we're in." I said to her and she cocked her head.  
>"But you're not even angry?"<br>"Rosie was in on this." I said quietly as she sighed.  
>"Well more reason for you to figure out a plan to get us out of this, so we can go kick the slapper out of her, and that'll take a while." She stated as I chuckled.<br>" I like that you're protective but, she's still my sister you know." I stated and she nodded.  
>"I know."<p>

"Have a plan yet?" Sian asked me after we were sat in the cell at the office.  
>I shrugged rubbing my eyes. "Do you?"<br>"Ugh I hate you so much right now." She hissed.  
>"You get snarky in jail." I said sounding a bit bemused.<br>"Well a person would be ticked off for less, Sophie!"  
>I chuckled and sat next to her "I could make it better." I said kissing her neck.<br>"Oh _hell_ no! I don't know how you can be so calm and like - joking!" She said agitated.  
>"Babe I just found out my sister betrayed me? I'm trying to cheer myself -and you up." I stated as she groaned. "Besides, look what I've got." I flashed a key at her and she frowned.<br>"Is that-?"  
>"Come on, did you really think I didn't have any tricks left up my sleeve. The old guard used to keep some of the keys hidden on the molded shelves near the phones. I guess the new team never bothered to give it a clean sweep."<br>"And you're only telling me this now? Why haven't we gone yet!?"  
>I chuckled loudly "And here I thought you'd be lecturing me about making the situation worse. Didn't reckon you to be so keen on breaking the law and starting the life of a fugitive." I saw her contemplate for a moment. She shrugged.<br>"Who knows what they'll charge us with." She said quietly turning serious. "It's better to just go." She said and added "Come on!"  
>"Don't get your knickers in a twist, we can't leave now. Not now I've finally got you all to myself." I said as I put a hand on her thigh.<br>"Sophie!"  
>"Babe. We can't leave. I was joking. I was going to return the key to the guard in the morning. I was going to tease him about his incapability of keeping to teenage girls in check."<br>"I want to." She said making me frown.

"You're not joking?" She shook her head. I raised both eyebrows and then shrugged while looking outside of the steel bars. "Okay. I'll entertain the idea of breaking out of jail and being fugitive, but we can't leave now, there are too many people in the station. Let's wait a couple more hours, they start dozing off round midnight. Okay?" I looked at her intensely as she nodded. I sighed and rested my head against the wall. I could try to lighten the mood all I wanted to keep my mind off of Rosie, but it was hard. I couldn't believe she would've set me up willingly. I needed to talk to her. I looked at Sian.  
><em>'There's no way she's going to agree.<em> I sighed yet again and rubbed my eyes trying to make my brain numb. I was trying to relax the muscles of my face so my head would stop hurting.

...

"How did you do that?!" Sian almost screamed at me as we were rushing passed some rusty gates. I was fiddling with the buttons on my phone trying to dial Rosie's number, but Sian just kept talking, up to a point where it was starting to get frustrated. I looked at her and kissed swiftly. She smiled into my lips and put her hands in the crook of my neck trying to pull me close.  
>"Babe I love you, but I have to call Rosie. Okay?" She looked a bit baffled and cocked her head backwards. I tried dialing her number for the third time but it went dead. I sighed frustrated, shoving my phone into my pocket viciously and took hold of Sian's palm. "Come on."<p>

I hurried to the next bus stop I could find and checked the hours. "Right there's a night bus that takes you to the train station, every hour. There'll be one in 25 minutes." I said matter - of - factly to her as she looked at me confused.  
>"Are we running away? You have a car babe-"<br>"They're going to track the license plate, it's safer this way. And you're going, I'm staying here. I want you to be safe and -"  
>"What are you talking about? And where am I supposed to go? I was arrested too you know. Which makes me a fugitive too." She said telling me what I knew. A part of me just thought that if she went back, her mum would fix this all for her.<br>"Your mum, she could fix things. You're well off and well connected honey. I want you to have a chance. Just lie and say that I ran away from you first chance I got. Just play the 'I got used' card." She seemed baffled.  
>"If you think-"<br>"Please babe, just get on the bus." I said to her, almost begging her. She shook her head nevertheless.  
>"You're either coming with me or I'm staying. Your choice. I can't sit around a wait for some sign of life. I can't not know if you're okay. I'd rather risk my life-"<br>"You're not risking your life-" I said determined. "Fine, fine." I said sounding a bit out of breath. "Okay. We're both getting on the train. If there's any sign of real trouble, you're calling your mum."


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37

**Sian**

I looked at the molded ceiling and sighed. I couldn't sleep. I had never felt so scared in my life, the intensity of the fear wasn't anything new but the duration of it was. It never stopped, it felt like I was anticipating the cops to barge in at any moment and arrest us. I knew Sophie had done a good job finding this place for us after we had taken the train to Prestbury. She had found us a place at a homeless shelter. The lady had looked at us curiously, probably because we didn't look homeless at all. I stood up and started pacing around. I clamped my sweaty hands around my phone trying to get a signal. I wanted to check the newspapers, even though I knew our escape wasn't nighttime news worthy, I needed to check it.

"Hey are you okay?" She asked me as she snaked her arms around my waist.

"No, I'm not. I'm trying to find a signal so I can read the freaking newspaper and-"  
>"You're trying to get on the internet? Stop, if you accidentally sign into facebook, twitter, or any other thing, they can track us. Put it away" She said angrily, taking hold of my phone.<br>"Soph!" My voice cracked, and not only that but my whole body cracked. I started crying endlessly as I crutched down, sliding against the wall.  
>"Hey, hey! Don't- babe. I'm sorry, okay?" She said sitting down next to me and putting her arm around my shoulders. She was trying to sooth me. "I didn't mean to sound angry. I mean, I feel like we're living in a De Niro movie."<br>"I want to go home." I mumbled while my head lay in the crook of her neck.  
>"Okay, you can go home baby-"<br>"Not alone, I want us to go home now. I don't want to stay here, waiting for your sister to call you. Why do you- why can't you just let this go? For me? Let it go."  
>"I need to find Rosie. I know she didn't have anything to do with this, and even if she did I'd want to hear it from her." Right when she finished her sentence her phone rang. Sophie took hold of it as her sister's name flashed across the screen. She smiled and gave me a 'see' look.<p>

"Hey I've been trying to rea- Rosie calm down I- Rosie, I didn't do anything- oh my God, I can't believe you'd think that!" I sighed at the state of her. That sister of hers was going to get her killed at some point. "No, I understand. I'm not putting you in a hard position. I'm not telling you where we are, am I? What? You do?" She was talking and I was trying to listen to what Rosie was saying, but her voice resembled more to a buzzing sound than actual words. "Wait Rosie, don't do that - Rosie! I mean it. I'll come and do it, I'm not- Fine." She hung up the phone with a desperate sigh, sounding a little frustrated too.

"What's up?"  
>"She found something. She said she had to like go totally undercover to get something that'll help us. I don't know." She sighed deeply again. I wrapped my arms around her and smiled.<br>"It'll be okay."

**5 days later**

"Sophie! I know you didn't want me checking the internet, because they might track us, but I needed to know what was going on in the world, you know-" I was ranting and I could see I was angering her. I took a careful step forward raising my hands. "Okay now calm down babe, I have news. Good news!" I tried to get her to smile but her jaw was clenched shut.  
>"So I checked out the local paper and look! They caught Greg. See, look." I said to her holding out the phone with the newspaper article in it. She took it out of my hands and smiled a little but it faltered. "What does this have to do with us though?"<br>"He's being arrested for all these things, including the warehouse thing. Baby, we can just go back and explain and-" I rambled.  
>"And explain what? We still broke out of jail Sian." she sighed sitting down. She rubbed with the heels of her hand against her eyes, reddening the spot right above her eyebrows.<br>"Babe this is good news. Yes we did break out of jail, but they can't charge us for that. Right?"

"I don't know. I just- ugh I've been running so long, I'm not sure how to stop anymore." she stated meekly. I smiled sympathetically, then rubbed my lips together in a tight line.  
>"Let's go back hon'." She nodded and I squealed a little, then gave her a little apologetical look, and then squealed again.<p>

...

"I just showed them the post-it that wrote down the address and everything. Greg was dumb enough to write down the supposed occasions too. I mean it said farewell party Webster, I mean this guy is thick." Rosie stated ostentatiously. We both had to chuckle a little.  
>"Awwh sis' you're the best. Seriously." Sophie said hugging her sister tightly.<p>

"We have to testify don't we?" Sophie said seriously and Rosie nodded. I took hold of Sophie's hand and smiled. She tried to smile back but she couldn't, I could sense that she was nervous about it. After Rosie was done speaking how they caught Greg and how the whole gang helped I took Sophie to her room.

"You should go back to school babe. Your endgame is tomorrow. You'll fail if you don't."  
>"I already mailed my mom 4 days ago-"<br>"You what? While we were still hiding? You could've - we could've-"  
>"But we didn't! Okay? It was important, I still care about my future you know."<br>"I'm sorry." Sophie handing her head down. She grasped my hands and wrapped her palms around them. "What about your mom?"  
>"Because of the circumstances, I get to postpone my solo. They'll have to do the showcase without me. Mack's furious. They found a replacement a week ago. I guess they didn't expect me to come back. My mom was about to expel me when I told her what happened. I promised her I'd come back home after I testified. She's not happy with me, nor is she with you. I'm not sure you should come with me, when I do go back." I said sadly as she nodded understandingly.<br>"I understand."

"I love you." I said to her as she looked at me in anguish. "Babe I'm only saying that for you. You know I want you to come with me, but- okay so maybe I'm saying it a bit for me too- but I'm this close to getting expelled and-" I ranted as she silenced me with a kiss.

I kissed her back slowly and smiled a bit. "That's not what I'm sad about. I'm sad that I've been with you here for weeks and I feel like I haven't been. We've been so caught up, I- I miss you."

"I'm right here." I said cupping her cheek with my palm, she leaned in and then let her hand brush against mine. She took hold of it and released it from her cheek. She stood up and sat on my lap, straddling me. "Babe." I smirked as she leaned in and kissed me, her dry lips rubbing against mine and I felt my breath catch in my throat. A burning sensation a the pit of my gut was awakening and I wrapped my arms around her waist pulling her closer to me. Her breast pressed against mine and she moaned quietly while my tongue brushed against her lower lip. It had been ages since we had been intimate and I could feel the heat radiating from between my legs. She rose into me and tangled her hands in my hair as her tongue was begging for entrance. She was so close to me our teeth collide with one another a few times, which made us both giggle. I was drinking in her presence, I felt more like an accomplice than a girlfriend. It was normal that we were both a bit anxious and hasty.

She cupped my burning cheeks and looked at me with a oh so familiar look. I smiled at her devilish eyes and she mirrored it. She pushed my cheek sideways, exposing the flesh of my neck, while carefully trailing long kisses alongside my jaw until she settled on my neck. My nails were digging in her back, her shirt shriveling up in my hands, as she sucked on my pulse point that had started beating like a tantrum. I quivered beneath her touch, trying to buck my hips as she was but I failed. I groped her by her thighs and plumped us both on the bed behind her. I crawled on top of her and saw her rosy cheeks wrinkle in a wide smile.

"Taking the lead hu?" She voiced playfully and I nodded while I pushed my thigh lightly into her throbbing center. She moaned but still smiled in triumph. I sighed in content while I was leaning down, then rubbed my nose against her skin, feeling her, getting familiar with her again. My hands were still entangled with hers as I lowered myself, using her hands as pressure point. When my body collided with hers I looked into her eyes and saw what I used to see. Just Sophie. Not the Sophie with the whole past and baggage, not the Sophie that was familiar picking locks, not the Sophie that gave me the cold shoulder the first time I saw her; no, I saw my Sophie. She smiled and cocked an eyebrow.

"Tease." She whispered which made me look down and realize I had my thigh pressing into her mound. I chuckled a bit and shook my head. When I closely leaned in I brushed my lips against hers, oh so lightly. I let myself plunge into her, letting my lips collapse with hers and untangling our palms. She wrapped her arms quickly around my waist - under my shirt- after I released them. I grasped my hair and put it to one side of my face so I could start kissing down on her. I kissed down her jaw line, passed the tender point in her neck and to her collarbone. She was so beautiful, I had forgotten how beautiful she truly was. I pushed up her shirt, letting my nails scratch her skin lightly as I was doing it. She bowed her back letting my take it off and showing me herself in tender flesh. I looked at her in awe and leaned down. I kissed the skin between her breast and sighed in contentment letting my head rest on it for just a second while whispering "I've missed you." Her chest heaved highly and I felt her hands roam through my hair.  
>"Me too." I heard her say as she pushed my head towards her, making me look at her. "So much." She added. Her last words were enough for me to snap out of the lovestrucken awe I was in and push down her strands, tasting her skin beneath it. I pushed my hand between her legs feeling the heat that was radiating from it and kissed her neck ravishingly. I left some bruises on her neck while I descended down to her breasts. I cupped her breast, pushing the bra aside a little. I quickly grew tired of the piece of silk and pushed my hand under her back. She abided and heaved her back for me to take off the damn thing. When it released her bosom, I couldn't help but leap to it. My mouth kissing every edge of it. I circled her nipple with my tong and she moaned arching her back. Her hands pushed down on my head asking me to go farther.<p>

"God I love you." I heard a muffled moan coming from her. I kissed down her more, kissing her bellybutton tenderly and smiling a little. I kissed her sides and her beauty spot she had right next to her bellybutton that seemed to have been applied with a brown crayon. I dragged off her trousers easily and left her naked. She was breathing radically and the look inside her eyes had changed from loving to lust. I crawled on top of her smirking when I saw her aching for my touch. I cupped her breast and kissed passionately. I moaned when she snaked her leg around my waist and forced my hand down below. She was wet, very wet. A deep grunt came out of her throat as she applied more pressuring, bucking into my leg and waist. "Off-" She whined which made me look at her confused. "Take them off." She pointed at my waist where my bottoms were still hugging my waist. I took them off, having her hand help me and grinded my folds into hers. With a high pitched voice she moaned in my ear when my wetness reached hers. I leaned in kissed her passionately while I bucked my hips, trying to get more pressure. I needed more so I dipped my fingers in her wetness. I repositioned myself, making me hover over her for a second and then entered her center. I worked up a rhythm adjusting my pace at the sounds she was making. She started playing with my bud as the rippling sensation of pleasure erupted within me. She gripped my head and pulled me close, while she was bucking her hips, rubbing her clit against the palm of my hand. I was getting close. I reached my high first which must've tipped her over the edge too. When she reached her high a small high pitched sound escaped her mouth, she tried to muffle it however against my skin. She was panting, her face in my neck and her breath wetting it slightly. We both fell backwards on our backs respiring harshly. I smiled lightly and turned my head towards her.

"That was- nice." I said smirking a little, but she looked at me and raised an eyebrow.  
>"Are you kidding me? That was hot!" She almost yelled which made me laugh loudly. I wanted to take her again then and there, but the sound of a garbage bin falling stopped me. I frowned and quickly stood up. I heard some rustling downstairs and started putting on my underwear. Sian mirrored my actions and was even faster in finding her clothes.<p>

"Hello? Can I help you? What-what the fuck- Get the fuck out!" Sian went out of the room without thinking. I didn't even have time to stop her. She pranced down the stairs.

"Sian!" I hissed loudly but she already turned the corner. I then heard the gunshot. I quickly crutched down covering my ears. _'Not again, no. I can't go through this again.' _ Images of Cara flashed before me and I instantly feared that when I turned that corner, I would be confronted with another person turned cold_. 'Oh god Sian. Please, please, please, …'_ As I shuffled down the stairs on my ass, sliding down one by one, another gunshot echoed in the house. I whimpered. Both my sister and Sian were downstairs, I whimpered slightly while I put my hand on my mouth.

**Next update is either tomorrow or tonight, depends on the comments. **


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38

**Sophie**

When I didn't hear anything anymore for 15 minutes, I decided to stand up. I knew there was a good chance of the shooter just waiting around the corner to shoot me, but I had to find Sian. I had to find Rosie too. I stepped gently around the corner and held my breath, prepared to see 2 dead bodies. But I didn't. There was no one around. I took the bat out of the coat closet and held it tightly in my hands. The wood felt slippery in my sweaty hands. I first scanned the hallway and I noticed some blood trails, which seemed to have been wiped on the floor. It first left one long trail and then it stopped, leaving a wiped out surface. My lips started quivering and I swallowed deep. I first tried not to cry and keep calm, but the velvet colored surface sent me over the edge. Or more like sent my tears over the edge. As much as I tried to keep the salty pools from sliding down, it didn't work. Long streams of wetness ran down my face one by one. I didn't bother wiping them, I let them rest, like scars on my face.

I carefully scanned the living room, but there was no one there either. When I stayed completely still I could hear some shallow breaths. I listened carefully and followed the subtle sound. It was coming out of the utility closet, where we kept the hoover and the ironing board. When I opened it gently, using the door as a protection shield, I saw Sian sitting inside. She almost whimpered, thinking probably that the shooter had found her. But when she saw it was me, she let out a strangled sob. A weight was lifted off my chest as I sighed out of relief. She stood up slowly and before I could say anything, she dragged me inside with her hand on my mouth. She then closed the door quietly behind us. I didn't think staying in here was such a good idea. We were like sitting ducks. I kissed her palm that was covering my lips, which made her face soften a little. She lifted her hand, and allowed me to hug her tight.

"What happened?" I whispered to her and she started sobbing. I could hear she was trying to stay as quiet as she could. I cupped her face and looked at her. "Babe."  
>She shook her head while sniffing lightly "I don't know. One moment I see Rosie and the next-" She said wincing and hovering with her hand over her leg. I hadn't noticed till now that she was holding onto the ironing board. When I looked at her lower calf, her jeans were covered dark. My eyes widened and she sobbed more.<p>

"Shit. Sit down." I whispered helping her slide down to the floor. "Where's Rosie?" I asked her. She shrugged her shoulders and shook her head.  
>"I don't know."<br>"Is she hurt?"  
>"I'm not sure. She was sitting on the ground, when I saw her. And when I saw him, I tried to run away but he still shot my leg. I'm not sure why he didn't come after me." She said heaving her shoulders up high.<br>"I need to find her." I stated but she gripped my arm desperately. She shook her head violently.  
>"No! Please, don't leave me. Please." She begged me.<br>"What if she's hurt? If you're both hurt and he's gone, I need to get you both to hospital. What if it's critical that we move fast?" I asked her and she sobbed in her hands. "Can you walk?"  
>"I'm not sure. Just please don't leave me alone." She begged again. I couldn't leave her alone. I knew that too. If anything happened to her while I was searching for Rosie I would never forgive myself. So I put the bat down, letting it lean against the doorframe and reached out a hand to her. I lifted her up as she tried to muffle her groans. I held my hand around her waist, while she tried to put pressure on her injured leg, but she couldn't walk on it. When she tried, her whole body shook and caved. If I wasn't holding on to her tight, she would've collapsed to the floor.<br>"Okay, try one leg. Try hopping on it." I said to her and she did. The small closet space didn't really give her much opportunity to practice but she nodded her head.  
>"Let's go find Rosie."<br>"Are you sure you'r-"  
>"I'm sure. I feel safe with you. I'm not leaving your side." She stated determined. I held onto her waist tightly and turned the knob on the door. I held my breath again. The shooter could again just be waiting for us to come out of the closet and shoot us both in the head. This is why I peeked my head through first. If he shot me maybe he wouldn't bother looking in the closet and that way Sian would be safe. I peeked out and saw no one, which made me sigh heavily with relief. I let the door rock open. I stepped on the wooden floors and tried to help Sian hop quietly. Every time she hopped I could see the pain in her face. Every single time she gripped my neck tightly and breathed in shallow breathes. We were heading for the kitchen when she started lagging. I looked at her face, which had turned pale.<p>

"Sian?" I whispered but her body suddenly caved beneath me. "Sian?!" I hissed and then saw the long blood trail behind us. I checked her pulse, which was still there but was very weak. I walked over to the closet and realized I didn't noticed the large pool of blood that the ironing board hid a little.

….

"We are here today to honor our sister, our daughter, our friend." The priest at the gravesite said and I closed my eyes. I refused to let the tears come streaming out as fast as they wanted. I breathed in shakily as a soft hand squeezed my arm. I let my arm fall next to my body and she took it, she squeezed it lightly. I sobbed and turned to her, hiding my face in her shoulder.

After the service I couldn't help but stay at the site. Another coffin, another funeral, another grave to visit. I sobbed bitterly, angry at the world. They took another person I loved. Just like Cara she left the world, my world, too soon. I tightened my jaw. All I wanted to do was scream.

_'It's not fair!_' or _'Fuck you! fuck you all! I hate you so much!_' I wanted to slam on that coffin and demand to know how she could leave me like this!

Two arms snaked over my chest as she sat on her knees next to me. I sobbed letting my head fall, facing the dirt beneath us. "It'll never be okay." She said as I looked into her fair eyes. "But it'll get better." She stated and then hugged me. She hugged me so tight.

….

"Hey babes." I heard someone say behind me as I turned around. I chuckled as I saw her prancing down the velvet steps of the orchestra , spinning her cane around as she imitated Chaplin.  
>"What are you doing here? Didn't you have an appointment with your principal?" I asked her as she rolled her eyes. She then handed me my lunch and kissed me tenderly.<p>

"Sian. I'm at work." I chuckled looking around the theatre awkwardly. She shrugged her shoulders. "So are you going to tell me what you're doing here?"  
>"I was in the neighborhood and had too much lunch."<br>"So what? These are your leftovers?"  
>"Hey! Those are some awesome leftovers!" I raised an eyebrow. "And I wanted to ask you if we were still on for tonight. I didn't know if you wanted to go since it was raining today." She asked me. I nodded.<br>"I still want to go."  
>"Okay." She smiled and pecked my lips swiftly right before hurrying up the stairs again.<p>

….

"I'll leave you to it." Sian said as we reached her grave. I crutched down in front of it and smiled.  
>I then said "Hey sis'." I laid the flowers on top of the slippery stone while the rain was streaming off my umbrella.<p>

…

_I put Sian against the wall, her eyes were still closed. I quickly looked through the kitchen door and saw him. He was holding Rosie by her two arms. She was facing the floor, while he held her two arms behind her back. Her body had gone limp and it was as if he was trying to heave a bag of potatoes. In that moment I knew she was dead. She was gone and hate overtook me. I gripped the bat tightly and swung myself at him. I wasn't scared, I didn't fear he might shoot me too, all I felt was anger. I lunged the bat at his head, he didn't see me coming. He had his back turned to me. I didn't hesitated, I swung my bat as hard as I could against the back of his head. He didn't even whimper, his body just fell down. The urge to beat him to death had crossed my mind, but then I wondered 'What if she's still alive?'_

_I turned her body around and eyed the bullet hole in her forehead. Her eyes were still open, they still seemed to have fear in them. I whimpered, I sobbed and even screamed. I let the bat fall to the floor, the light wooded sound echoing in the kitchen, and hugged her body. I was rocking her like a baby, shoving her hair out of her face. _

_"Wake up honey." I found myself saying knowing she couldn't hear me. I knew it had no use. I closed her eyes gently. You would think closing someone's eyes is easy, so soft. But when you do it, it feels mechanical. I hugged her tight and looked at her attacker. I sobbed bitterly and laid her down gently on the mirroring tiles. I took the bat in my hand and took a swing at this body, then his legs, and then his face again. I kicked his ribs letting my rage out, but it didn't make me feel better. I fell down to the floor on my knees, sobbing loudly. I then looked for a phone, when I remembered Sian. I called 999. _

_When the police interrogated me, we soon found out that one of Greg's mates on the outside had come into our home and attacked us. His name was Trey Bartlett, and he was barely alive. He died in the hospital a week later. I was charged with manslaughter, but eventually got released on grounds of self defense. He had killed my sister and injured my girlfriend. The judge let me walk free. _

_Greg was sent to prison with a 20 year sentence for hiring someone to kill us and all of his other drug charges he got because the gang members witnessed against him. Jay got a 5 year sentence for breaking parole. I never got justice for his crimes. _

…

I heard Sian's footsteps come back and crutch down next to me. She kissed my cheek and then I caught her lips with my own. I smiled into the kiss and then let my head lay on her shoulder.

"I'll probably ask her to marry me someday soon." I said to Rosie's stone. I could feel Sian shifting a little but she let me enjoy the moment.

"Ready to go?" She asked me and I nodded. I held her hand and somehow enjoyed the sound the rain was making on the umbrella. I had had a lot of heartache surrounding this weather, but I had made my peace with it. I had made peace with the rain.

The rain that witnessed Cara being taken away from me, and Rosie too. When I look at Sian walking next to me, her cane in her hand I sometimes think I ruined her dancing career. She would kick me if she heard me saying that. Maybe we weren't meant to do the things we daydreamed about at 18. Sian was happy at the ballet school and I was happy being the manager of the local theatre. I smiled and let the rain for once witness a moment of peace. It didn't replace the moments of chaos, nor did it erase them, but I accepted that they could both exist next to one another.

"Soph? Come on you'll get drenched." I noticed Sian yelling from the other side of the car.

The end

**About a year ago, I actually gave up on this story and never wanted to finish it because I had a big writer's blog when it came to Siophie. I started writing for Quinntana on fanfiction . net and the idea crossed my mind to do a prequel for this story. I felt I had to finish this before I could do a prequel though. So basically Sophie and Cara's story but have it be Santana and Quinn. Yes I'm aware that Cara is dead and therefore if it were a real prequel either Quinn or Santana would have to die. I'm not sure how far I'll take the prequel thing. I just know that I'm taking the idea and the setting of what happened before or next to this story. So it's definitely and companion to this one. You give your hand to me is my last Siophie story. The fandom has died, and maybe someday if Sian comes back we can get back to that, but I doubt it. Siophie was really important to me, these stories are like my babies you know. Especially the eyes say everything. I got to explore my sexuality, come to terms with it and even come out with the help from this community, or well the old community, with the chat room and the old school people. I even found my first love thanks to Siophie. When I was writing the eyes say everything and Suitcases I was in a really bad place. I could even say the worst place I have ever been in my life. You guys helped me, this community was an escape for me.  
>So thank you, you've been great. <strong>

**Celine**


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